Obstacles to action when you know what you want

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expatana
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Re: Reply

Post by expatana »

BarbaraSher wrote:... if you don't have small/sick kids and you're in reasonable health yourself, there are lots of options I think you're overlooking, Paralegal. So on this issue I must disagree with Paralegal and agree with MovieGal. The Good Enough Job is still pretty good. ...
If you're lucky enough to have one ... and if having it meshes with your particular dream. They don't all do. Thank you for your thoughts on this, Barbara. They are invaluable as are these boards of yours, to say nothing of your lifetime contributions on this very topic. I think some of us are just seeing that, especially these days, the options are getting slimmer and slimmer for those of us living on the edge. Ana

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Post by paralegalgirl »

I don't think a job is good enough to support a single woman unless it pays at least $40,000.00. If you can make that working for the government from 8:30 to 5 I agree you've got a good enough job to be able to come home and write your novel. PLG

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Post by paralegalgirl »

BarbaraSher wrote: And yet I know so many people who have them. Many of these people do their own work before they go to their Good Enough Job, so they can conk out at the end of the day. Others head to a class, exhausted, and find that once they're in the class, their energy returns. Yet others come in, say a quick Hi to their families, run into their room and work on their novel for a half hour, then come out and say Hello for real. Of course, many people are really caught in an economic crisis right now--these are 'the working poor' (and I've been there, thanks): these are single parents who have to travel miles to work and back, exhausted and still broke (Nickle and Dimed will make that clear for anyone who doesn't believe it), but if you don't have small/sick kids and you're in reasonable health yourself, there are lots of options I think you're overlooking, Paralegal.
Barbara, if I had a counselor like you to check in with on a weekly basis and better yet a support group, I wouldn't just be seeking a good enough job. The sky would be the limit! Presently, I am pursuing more than a "good enough job". I am going after a dream of getting my paralegal certificate. I have four courses completed and got an A in each course. I am enrolled in criminal law for the spring semester. Today my "good enough job" consists of assisting my friend Tom in his law practice. I will be meeting him at his office at 10 a.m. We usually talk and catch up for a good half hour. Then he will show me how to do a marital property agreement. I got him the client by the way. I went to the community college and had a person there print out my grade so I could keep a copy. She asked me if I could assist her with a legal problem. I referred her to my friend, Tom, who then called me and asked if I could assist him to get the work done. At about noon we walk over to the 411 Building for lunch. Then after lunch we work some more. Tomorrow I have a job interview at Midwest Paralegal at 10 a.m. While money is tight, I am pretty much doing what I want at the moment. As I have mentioned in the past, I have multi interests and abilities. I wish there were more than one of me so I could take them all to the limit all the time. :) PLG

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Re: Reply

Post by moviegal »

paralegalgirl wrote:I don't think a job is good enough to support a single woman unless it pays at least $40,000.00. If you can make that working for the government from 8:30 to 5 I agree you've got a good enough job to be able to come home and write your novel. PLG
Well, I work for the government and I make far more than that. Some jobs in the public sector pay well, others, not so well. It's a matter of keeping your eyes open and being willing to compete for the jobs. And the competition is tough. I competed with 140 people for my job. You also have to be willing to go through a civil service exam process that can often take several months. Paralegalgirl, you might want to keep a constant eye on job openings in the District Attorney's office in your area or any area you are interested in living. With your paralegal skills you might be able to land a job as a legal assistant. I know at some point my agency will be looking for a legal assistant for our attorney, but the position hasn't opened up yet.

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Post by paralegalgirl »

Thank you so much Moviegal. I'm assisting my friend Tom today, but I want to get back to you tonight about this. PLG

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Post by expatana »

I agree with paralegalgirl. $40,000 would be minimum to qualify as a "good enough" salary. Things are just too tough today, and the older the single woman is, the more she has to be concerned about the future -- if she is to have one. Unfortunately, I have yet to see that kind of wage in my life. Ana

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Post by spark »

I agree with paralegalgirl. $40,000 would be minimum to qualify as a "good enough" salary. Things are just too tough today, and the older the single woman is, the more she has to be concerned about the future -- if she is to have one.
Each person has their own salary requirements. What is $40k for one person would be $70k or $20k for another. I don't think things are any tougher today than they were 20 years ago. What has changed, however, is you can't just expect people to pay you high wages if you don't go back to school to gain the skills that employers are looking for. Administrative work has never paid very much (except CEO assistants). Sure, there is age discrimination. Always has been, always will be. The way to overcome that is to not throw up your hands in defeat and settle for a life that makes you miserable. Instead, focus on ways you can improve yourself - improve your marketability - improve your skills. There are just too many qualified people in the employment pool. Give an employer a reason to want to hire you. If you aren't getting the jobs, you have to ask yourself if maybe you need to go back to school and learn a new skill.

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Post by willow »

Instead, focus on ways you can improve yourself - improve your marketability - improve your skills.
I agree. It is not age, gender or society that is keeping you from achieving your dreams. There is much you can do but you have to have the tools, education, information, networking in place. Each of us have to ask what is it I can improve in yourself to achieve a goal. It seems to me that most of the time, it is simply putting in the hours to gain the education and skills. Go out - make the effort - network and find the resources.

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Post by expatana »

Age discriimination in employment, specifically, is ten thousand times more prevalent today than at any time in my memory. What we're seeing today that was much less common 20-30 years ago is a very large group of forty- and fiftysomethings thrown out in the street after decades of loyal employment in a company. We're seeing fiftysomethings with master's degrees forced to toil in retail stores. En masse. This is new. We're seeing those same fiftysomething forced to interview for jobs five notches beneath their level of achievement -- with the interviewer very often their daughter's age. Again, en masse. This is new. When I started working 30 years ago, the boss I interviewed with on my first job was twice my age as was appropriate. I was a bit of a hothead at 18, like so many today, and didn't want to pay my dues. They brought me down to size. I was reminded to listen *with respect* to the years of experience and wisdom of the senior employees, as they were the ones who had taken the company to success. Even after I graduated college in '82, in every interview I had, it was expected I'd have some dues-paying to do before reaching any level of prestige. Kids today expect to do $60,000 straight away. I have yet to get there. As has been said before, the more you deny the problem, the worse it gets. I'll do everything I can to make it and will never give up, but I'll be d _ _ _ ed if I deny it exists! Ana

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Post by Tituba »

Kids today expect to do $60,000 straight away
What kids expect and what they get are two different things. Use to be you could get certified and walk into an IT job at $60k. However, that has changed. Those jobs are now barely paying $40k. That's the way it is. So, you change your strategy in a new world to get what you need. There are other jobs and career opportunities. You can even work as an intern to learn the ropes.

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Post by pattyn »

expatana wrote:Things are just too tough today
Every time I hear you say that, I want to just bang my head on my desk! You live in a county where the median household income was $62,375 in 2003 and just blocks from a county where it was $65,234 -- a full 50% higher than the national median. For November, the unemployment rate in our county was 4.5% -- considered by economists to be about as low as it can go without producing inflation because employers are forced to hire underqualified workers. In the county on the other side of County Line Road, it was 4.1%. I know you despise this county, but I also know that you're highly intelligent, educated, and skilled in Barbara's Wishcraft methods. You could easily be making $50K in two years if you sat down and worked out a flowchart and kept doing each step on it as if you believed it would work. It might not be your dream place to live or your dream job, but it would provide you with a nice savings account and salary history to take to LA with you in two or three years.
- Patty Newbold
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Post by Tituba »

expatana wrote: Things are just too tough today Every time I hear you say that, I want to just bang my head on my desk!
Me too. Your pessimism is your greatest challenge, not the opportunities that are available to you.

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Post by maestro »

And that may be the biggest obstacle. I wouldn't call it pessimism as much as despair. I see it all the time in my line of work. Most of us were told in graduate school not to worry, there would be lots of faculty retirements in the coming years and jobs would be plentiful. Then we entered an academic world where 44% of professors are part-time adjuncts. No job security, no benefits. The academic world has changed in the last 15 years. That's a fact. Is it time to give up? Most of the people around me say yes. I have a colleague who is always saying we'll never own a house, never have health insurance, etc. I have relatives who have placed all their hopes on either the lottery or the rapture, whichever comes first. Why bother, the deck is stacked against you. After taking in too much of this thinking I found myself depressed. Over the holidays I had to literally get off by myself, turn off the phone, limit my contact with these people. After a few days I realized that's not me! I have always believed that, short of being in a persistent vegetative state, there's always something you can do. One way or another I'm going to start this production company. Five years ago, after following my husband around the country for almost 10 years as he built his career, I was dumped out on my own. I had not worked for six years, I had to fight for a very small amount of spousal support. (When I agreed to separate he said he would support me while I got back on my feet; when we got to mediation he said he didn't owe me a thing.) My self-confidence was in the crapper. I worked like hell to find a job, then that ended and I moved back to California, and then I found a job that expired after only three months, endured five months of unemployment, and finally found my present job. As I've written elsewhere, it's got it's share of problems, but it does pay the bills right now. I see it as just the lastest stop on the tour. If it goes belly up, I'll just find something else to do. And I'll keep working on the film studio. Things are tough. But if you give up, you lose automatically. Tough times just mean you need to get creative, which shouldn't be difficult for the folks on this board!

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Post by moviegal »

Tituba wrote:
expatana wrote: Things are just too tough today Every time I hear you say that, I want to just bang my head on my desk!
Me too. Your pessimism is your greatest challenge, not the opportunities that are available to you.
Me three. If you keep letting yourself get boxed into what you perceive as reality, you close your mind to all the possibilities that are out there.

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Post by Tituba »

Most of the people around me say yes. I have a colleague who is always saying we'll never own a house, never have health insurance, etc. I have relatives who have placed all their hopes on either the lottery or the rapture, whichever comes first. Why bother, the deck is stacked against you.
What is the quote "argue your limitations and they are yours." I'm not a pie-in-the-eye, ignore reality kind of person. However, what I have learned is that you get the outcome you expect. You tell yourself "this what I deserve" and allow your actions or inaction to create the reality. Then the result just confirms what you believed all along. Vicious circle. What is the worse that can happen to get out of the comfort zone and TRY something before stomping it into the ground because it might or might not work out?

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