Stuck. Unfulfilled. Desperate for a better job.

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Stuck. Unfulfilled. Desperate for a better job.

Postby sera » Tue Aug 13, 2019 9:04 am

Hi, everyone. I'm Sera and I've known all along I was a Scanner, but never had a word for it until I read Barbara Sher's books. **This is gonna be long. lol**

I'm currently starting to read "Refuse To Choose" and I feel like that's what I want to do sometimes. I want to do this and that and this over here and maybe a bit of this other thing too. I've dropped many of my interests because I've been told all my life that I must choose and focus on one thing or I'll be all over the place and never master anything. But, even so, at 35 years old now, I still have not mastered much anyway. I find things I like, do them for a while, and just give up, find something better, or just put it aside for later and then later never comes.

Besides what well-meaning family members have told me, I never felt like it was a huge issue until now as it relates to my job--administrative assistant type work. Because the one thing I have stuck with for way to many years is the type of jobs I've had and now I'm stuck in a major rut and employers refuse to see me as anything else. Unfortunately, I got an associate degree in office technology and administrative assisting back in 2005 and thought I was set because I was really Really good at what I did. I can research, run an office, and plan/organize like no one's business. But now, and truthfully back then too, it isn't valued. No one wants to pay for a good admin and no one wants to treat me (or any of us) with respect. We are no longer seen as specialists in a field and are now considered simple generalists that are a dime a dozen--anyone can do our admin jobs now, even a trained monkey, and we are paid and treated as such.

Now I've been at my receptionist/admin assistant combo job for 12 years now and I'm miserable. It was okay when I was younger and too naive to realize I was being taken advantage of and treated poorly. But now I see it. I see everything and it makes me furious on a daily basis. I am abused by a boss that refuses to hear the words coming out of my mouth and has to second guess every single thing I do. I am working in an office that does not suit me as this same boss forces me to listen to his trash political radio on the loudspeakers daily while he ridicules me when I ask him to lower the volume. My job duties are well below my abilities and I know it, I feel it every hour I am at this toxic workplace. (There are other issues I won't mention here. Trust me. It's an unethical place for sure.) I am bored to tears... yes, actual tears. It's great for a while to play online and get paid for it with minimal tasks to complete, but after many years of it I feel like I'm wasting my entire life and potential to watch my behind get larger while I sit behind a desk and search for cool stuff online while making a crappy less than $13 an hour.

I've hopped from interest to interest, trying to find something I can grab onto so I can make a career out of it or at least a way to make enough money to quit this job for good. I don't want to work for anyone else again because it feels like nearly slave labor. I've taken web development courses and loved them, but when I realized that the environment requires constant upkeep and learning of new development languages and processes, I gave it up and was no longer interested. I liked it, but I didn't love it that much. I also have been studying Japanese on and off for years because I love anime and manga. I stopped because I felt that it wouldn't help get me a job at my elementary level of knowledge. I love to write and have started a few months ago on Medium and love it like crazy, but again, the income isn't coming in that much yet.

Does anyone else feel like they're stuck in a bad job with a bad fit? I've been told to just get a bridge job to get me out of where I am, but I feel like that's just another job. I don't want just another job because I have that now. I want something I don't dread waking up to every morning. I fear that if I put all my time and effort into writing on Medium or elsewhere that I'll end up nowhere fast... back at square one where I am now. I have applied for other jobs though, sadly no one sees me as anything other than "office worker/receptionist/admin/secretary" even though I've updated me resume with other things I can do and have done. It's depressing for sure.
sera
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Re: Stuck. Unfulfilled. Desperate for a better job.

Postby inspiresuccess » Tue Aug 13, 2019 1:57 pm

Hi. Welcome. Now that you've got the long part out of your system, tell us how we can help you?! You're in a low paying job to make ends meet. What is that you want? Can you do any of it in your spare time? What is your dream job? What is Medium? You love that, right? Tell us more about that.
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Re: Stuck. Unfulfilled. Desperate for a better job.

Postby SquarePeg » Wed Aug 14, 2019 7:39 pm

With your many talents, you might do well in a small company where employees typically "wear many hats." You might be able to start in an administrative assistant role, but you might be able to carve out a suitable career path with the right employer, and transition to a position such as Project Planner / Scheduler, for example.
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Re: Stuck. Unfulfilled. Desperate for a better job.

Postby sera » Thu Aug 15, 2019 6:36 pm

Oops. I failed to click to be notified of new replies so I'm just seeing these today.

@inspiresuccess: I want to be a full-time writer. I enjoy writing fiction but I've come to really love writing about life and the many issues with bad bosses and workplaces in the US. I enjoy the feeling I get when someone reads what I write and posts, "Yeah, I get that. I'm feeling that too." It's just nice to be heard, you know? My dreams? I just dream of making an income that does not involve trading directly hours of my life for dollars in my pocket. I dream of not having to work for someone else while I get paid pennies. I want to work for myself and be location independent if I choose to be. I'm writing on Medium.com right now and they give a little bit of money to writers depending on how many people like your work. I've just started that about seven months ago, so I haven't made much yet. I think what is stopping me from going all out is... myself sadly. I feel like I need to find "my tribe," a place that just gets me so I can have a place to freely bounce ideas around and just opening talk with others that aren't going to tear me down--kind of like a support group for budding authors I guess. I beat myself up a lot for not believing in myself and for fearing the future so much that I stand still and do nothing instead, so it would be nice to meet others in the same boat.

@SquarePeg: I thought I'd do well in a small company too, but I am at one now and it is worse than some of the little larger places I've worked. It's gotten bad with unethical behaviors of supervisors and downright bullying and abuse. Everyone tells me I could easily find better. If that is so, I don't know why I am not then. I'm told I interview okay and my resume is stellar... and yet I'm not even able to get a stupid entry-level job at some office anymore. I don't get it and I can only think that they see too much experience and no one wants to pay for it because they can get a younger person to take a lot less pay. I know I need to transition out of what I'm doing now or at the very least, transition out of the company I'm at now. I have applied for other jobs, things I thought I could do just to get out of this one and I've had no luck yet. It's disheartening for sure.
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Re: Stuck. Unfulfilled. Desperate for a better job.

Postby inspiresuccess » Fri Aug 16, 2019 11:47 am

sera wrote:
I want to be a full-time writer.

I want to work for myself and be location independent if I choose to be.

I feel like I need to find "my tribe," a place that just gets me so I can have a place to freely bounce ideas around and just opening talk with others that aren't going to tear me down--kind of like a support group for budding authors...


These are the statements that stand out for me. I think there is some location on the boards that are specifically for writers. I'll check and see if I can find them.

An online writers group that is supportive of each other seems like it might be a good fit for you.

Sometimes what motivates us to get out of a dead end job is enjoying what we're doing in our free time. The more positive energy coming into our lives can give us the energy to move on in the negative areas.

Have you read Barbara Sher's earlier books, Wishcraft and Live the Life You Love? If you like her work you might find some inspiration in those two books.

You're headed in the right direction. I hope writing here will help you get some clarity about your next moves in life.
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Re: Stuck. Unfulfilled. Desperate for a better job.

Postby Tituba » Sat Aug 17, 2019 9:25 pm

Do you write now? If not, why not? Make sure you really want to be a writer. Sometimes people like the idea of being a writer (or baker) but the actual day to day toil, not so much.

True story - I left high school and became an admin cuz that is all I could do. Stayed miserable for 30 years. One day, I went for yet another admin interview and in the middle of it said "I don't want to do this anymore" The HR lady then sent me to an alternate position in the company, which I got. Now been in IT for 20 years. I didn't go get any fancy, expensive degree. I just asked for what I wanted and worked like hell to learn what I needed.
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Re: Stuck. Unfulfilled. Desperate for a better job.

Postby sera » Wed Aug 21, 2019 7:27 am

Tituba:

That is exactly how I felt in my last interview. I didn't say it out loud, but I feel it every time I interview for yet another admin position or something similar. I just don't want this anymore. I'm sick of feeling like I have nowhere to go from here because I know a little about a lot of things but other than running an office, I don't know a lot about one thing I could get a job in. It's frustrating and demoralizing.

I do write now on Medium and it's wonderful. I don't write daily yet though. My job just kills my energy even though it isn't a "hard job" by any means--it's boring to tears and I usually have either typing to do or nothing at all. There is only so much you can look up online while you're trying to look busy. It's amazing to me how hired and burned out I feel day and day of sitting on my butt 8 hours a day doing crap work I hate in a toxic environment.
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Re: Stuck. Unfulfilled. Desperate for a better job.

Postby Tituba » Wed Aug 21, 2019 2:33 pm

I'd suggest you read Barbara's book "I Could Do Anything If Only I Knew What It Was" You probably can get it at the library and can get it on Amazon.
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Re: Stuck. Unfulfilled. Desperate for a better job.

Postby SquarePeg » Fri Aug 30, 2019 2:45 pm

Tituba wrote:-snip-
... One day, I went for yet another admin interview and in the middle of it said "I don't want to do this anymore" The HR lady then sent me to an alternate position in the company, which I got. Now been in IT for 20 years. I didn't go get any fancy, expensive degree. I just asked for what I wanted and worked like hell to learn what I needed.
It never occurred to me that could happen, so I've spent more than a decade looking at the same boring old job ads, thinking, "Sure I can do that, but do I really want to? No! I can't even fake myself out enough to apply for it." And yet here I am encouraging sera do try it. Commencing Dope Slapping... :bash:
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Re: Stuck. Unfulfilled. Desperate for a better job.

Postby Tituba » Sat Aug 31, 2019 2:50 pm

It never occurred to me that could happen, so I've spent more than a decade looking at the same boring old job ads, thinking, "Sure I can do that, but do I really want to? No! I can't even fake myself out enough to apply for it." And yet here I am encouraging sera do try it. Commencing Dope Slapping... :bash:


It NEVER occurred to me either. I hadn't planned on saying that during the interview and I immediately began apologizing. The HR lady, however, asked me what it was I did want to do. When I told her, she sent me down to the IT manager and we talked. He said "I can tell that I can teach you this job. Do you want it?"

It was like a movie. I have no idea where my life would be now if I hadn't let those words tumble out of my mouth. Most likely standing in front of a copier and answering other people's phones.

If anyone takes anything away from my story, don't wait 20 years to say it out loud. Burying it and festering resentment only hurts you.
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Re: Stuck. Unfulfilled. Desperate for a better job.

Postby Tituba » Sat Aug 31, 2019 2:55 pm

sera wrote:Tituba:

That is exactly how I felt in my last interview. I didn't say it out loud, but I feel it every time I interview for yet another admin position or something similar. I just don't want this anymore. I'm sick of feeling like I have nowhere to go from here because I know a little about a lot of things but other than running an office, I don't know a lot about one thing I could get a job in. It's frustrating and demoralizing.

I do write now on Medium and it's wonderful. I don't write daily yet though. My job just kills my energy even though it isn't a "hard job" by any means--it's boring to tears and I usually have either typing to do or nothing at all. There is only so much you can look up online while you're trying to look busy. It's amazing to me how hired and burned out I feel day and day of sitting on my butt 8 hours a day doing crap work I hate in a toxic environment.


My last admin job was like that. 6 hours of trying to look busy. What I ended up doing was using the internet to teach myself web design. It was this very skill that convinced the IT manager that I had the ability to learn what he needed for the entry level position. I urge you to look at the free and low cost classes all over the internet. Don't waste your days looking at comics and videos. Get the training you need so when you do go for the interview you have more than just your dissatisfaction going for you.
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