Everyone's watching!

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Everyone's watching!

Postby Elizabeth Bits » Thu Mar 17, 2005 9:48 am

Just had a really wonderful experience! I had been watching Barbara on PBS and the next day had sessions with three clients. EVERY SINGLE client mentioned having seen her and shared what they found the most humorous as well as the most helpful in the presentation. They were all really moved by the examples and one, who'd been feeling discouraged, felt very uplifted and found the presentation incredibly helpful for getting back on track. Thank you Barbara!!!
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Postby BarbaraSher » Sun Mar 20, 2005 8:14 am

What a delightful way to start my day, Elizabeth. Thank you!
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Postby BarbaraSher » Sun Mar 20, 2005 8:23 am

Elizabeth, if you can remember what they singled out as important enough to remember and comment on to you, it would be very helpful to me, so I can make sure to say it to others who need encouragement. Isn't it amazing how just a more careful look at the conventional wisdom about getting older explodes every piece of it? Nobody should be discouraged when they're over 40 or 50 or 60 (or 70, which I'm about to become in a few months). It's nothing like we were told! That show was just made into DVD for the first time, a few weeks ago. After the pledge drive is over and the station has gotten the financial support from it, I'll see if there's some way they can make it more widely available.
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Postby Tituba » Sun Mar 20, 2005 8:27 am

That would be great because, as you know, Boston is in the "Barbara-Free Zone." No shows, no videos, no common sense.....sigh
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Postby BarbaraSher » Sun Mar 20, 2005 8:37 am

Yes, it's a shame Boston has stopped airing my shows. I made lots of money for them and the producer I dealt with left a message on my machine saying I was the best guest she'd ever had and she'd changed her mind and wanted to offer my workshop as a premium. But, although I had offered to do it at my cost only, for an introductory workshop so she'd see how successful it would be for them, she thought I was doing it for free and wasn't happy with that, and has never aired my shows since. Even NY has become a "no-show" zone, although I did well on Channel Thirteen and WLIW in Long Island had been airing my shows from the beginning (without my knowledge). Now Channel Thirteen has merged with (bought?) WLIW and neither of them airs my show anymore. While most public TV stations are pure heaven to work with, I confess some stations are hard to understand. In a few weeks the pledge drives will be over and maybe I'll have something helpful to tell you.
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Postby Scenario Thinker » Sun Mar 20, 2005 11:50 am

Barbara, Since I had a No-To-Do-List-Sunday (:)), I decided to re-watch my video tape recording of the airing of your Chicago PBS show on living your second life from when you were here in 2003 (and I took notes). Wow, you covered a lot. But, I kind of wanted to answer the question you had above:
BarbaraSher wrote:Elizabeth, if you can remember what they singled out as important enough to remember and comment on to you, it would be very helpful to me, so I can make sure to say it to others who need encouragement.
I like what you said about what real love is ... seeing someone for who they really were and still loving them. The same goes for both people AND your gifts. Not, what they can do for you (i.e. a person supporting you, looking good for you, or a gift/talent that only makes money, or makes you successful, powerful, etc.), but that you truly just love whatever the person or gift is. That hit me, because of what you said about not feeling lonely any more after you were 42. I've felt like that in the last year or so after breaking up with my last girlfriend. Before, it was all (well, mostly) about finding that missing half ... love of my life, but all of a sudden I realized I was going to be OK alone. I admit I still would like a partner, but now it's not a 3/4 time pursuit :). In my job, I've noticed I've put myself more into it. On the side, I've also been trying more to explore and experiment with what I'd like to do. Not that my job-job is my dream job, but as long as I'm there, I might as well do it well. Then, it may either directly or indirectly open up opportunities or ideas for something closer to my dream, or I may realize even after really doing it well, it still, is just not enough. But, I won't realize that if I just keep day dreaming about a better job being out there somewhere and performing my current one half hearted (plus, it finances my experiments). Also, I'm getting better at trying to pay attention to what I like (both on the job and off), but it definitely is hard realizing that you just love something ... just as it is.
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Postby BarbaraSher » Sun Mar 20, 2005 6:16 pm

Very helpful, ST. Thanks. Of course, you're not old enough to avoid love fever, but it's great that you're already noticing some sense of calm and completeness. I'm sure it's not something one can choose to feel, just something you notice you're feeling. I wish I could remember who said it: [Romantic] Love is like an emergency set to music. Brilliant. We can judge where we are by how interesting (or idiotic) that looks to us.
Last edited by BarbaraSher on Mon Mar 21, 2005 10:28 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby BarbaraSher » Sun Mar 20, 2005 6:23 pm

Scenario, re loving something just as it is -- when we talk about talent and gifts (not love of people) it's a little different. I love words and I love to move them around and make them do things and turn them into other things. Painters do the same with pigment and canvases. You're not supposed to do that with people. It's just that there's an incredible sense of partnership and respect with any medium you really love. The words won't let me do any damn thing I want. They have a life of their own. But if I honor what they really mean, and I remember I'm communicating *with* someone so I need those words to carry my meaning the right way -- like carrying water to someone who needs a drink (and the container is language) then I get to do that. A tortured metaphor, I fear, but you get my drift. Does that make it a little easier?
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Postby Scenario Thinker » Mon Mar 21, 2005 6:29 am

Thanks, Barbara. Yes, I know the two loves are different, I guess I was thinking more along the lines of accepting both. And you're right, the calmness is something I've noticed. I think I see what you're saying about talents and gifts. You see words in a way no other person can. Like the sculpturer that sees the figure underneath before he even begins to chisel. I remember hearing Michael Jordan quoted as saying that to him, the rim was this huge round circle (a lot easier to make a shot that way!). When I used to play pool (billiards) in college for many an hour (while skipping art classes 8) , because they were right across the hall from each other), I got good enough where I could already see I was going to make a shot before I even swung the cue stick. I knew just where to hit the balls. When I do draw, I can see the image already on the page before I begin to draw it. In math classes in school, I just \"got it\". This is good, because it's giving me another way to think about things, and especially as I do them. Even though I took 9 post-it-notes worth of notes (that's what I use to label video tapes :) ), as soon as you started talking about real love, I knew that was already the topic that stood out (singled out), re: your question above. Accepting the love of my gifts is what I think is the hardest thing for me. Thanks to Elizabeth for posting this thread, too!
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Postby Scenario Thinker » Mon Mar 21, 2005 10:19 am

BarbaraSher wrote:Of course, you're not old enough to avoid love fever
Since my grandma got married at 82 to her third husband, no I'm not giving up yet :) . He's the only one that outlived her.
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Postby Elizabeth Bits » Sat Apr 02, 2005 4:50 pm

Hi Barbara! I've had a chance to speak with my friends and clients who saw you and mentioned it to me. They LOVE the Patrick Swayze story - they were all absolutely uplifted by the stories of "coincidence" you shared. My wise friends (50+) felt inspired because of the message that age/appearance doesn't have much to do with success. They also liked the realistic message that while you can work towards all your dreams, they don't all necessarily pay. They like feeling that they can incorporate all their "loves" into their life. My clients and friends who are Buddhist and Mennonite like the idea of community - that the world if full of mostly nice people who want to help. Thank you Barbara! You're an inspiration because while you help us connect with our dreams, you keep us firmly grounded in reality. Blessings, Elizabeth
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