REFUSE TO CHOOSE -- book/show/workshops

Kudos for Barbara's workshops, audio programs, workbook courses, PBS specials and books

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REFUSE TO CHOOSE -- book/show/workshops

Postby BarbaraSher » Wed Mar 15, 2006 12:30 pm

Here's what I've gathered so far (I'm starting to distinctly remember posting some of this in the Refuse to Choose forum, but I'm not sure where and this is more recent. Apologies if these are duplicates.) ************************************************************ Name: dennis e. Permission: Ok to publish Date: Sunday, March 12, 2006 Time: 08:51 AM Your appearance on PBS truly started me on a different avenue in life or how i perceive it. I still have a long way to go but you gave me a starting point and direction which i never had-or as you might say-i never thought i had. ...i have just never seemed to truly figure out what it was that i wanted to do with my life...i feel like you did earlier on- that you felt/thought you had something to offer but weren't exactly sure of what that was. ...i think you are doing a great \"thing\". It does sound like you must have put a ton of work and thought into writing these books-must have been tough for you at times too....it is so enlightening and appealing-both visually and conceptually to see a person doing what they really want to do with their life. [I]think you are really helping a lot of people. Dennis. ************************************************************ Name: Sheila S. Permission: Ok to publish Date: Sunday, March 12, 2006 Time: 09:45 AM Question: Hello Barbara, I saw your program yesterday on PBS for the first time. You changed my life___________THANK YOU I am a scanner as I found yesterday and always thought there was something wrong with me. I am hoping to make it to your workshop in June in Manchester, N.H. ONE of my dreams is to become a life coach. My favorite show is Starting Over. Thank you for letting me know I AM NORMAL, YOU'RE THE BEST In love and light Sheila Subject: Re: Refuse to Choose Ch 1 To: bsherny@earthlink.net Outstanding!  What a gift.  Karen H. ************************************************************ Name: Diane C. Permission: Ok to publish Date: Tuesday, March 07, 2006 Time: 08:07 AM Good morning Barbara, I happened to see your NHPTV special on \"Refuse to Choose\" and scanners this past Saturday, March 4, 2006. When I started listening to your presentation, I sat straight up wide-eyed and mouth agape. I'm not lazy! I'm not unmotivated! What a relief! I am a fast learner and am easily bored...sound familiar? I am, however, floundering vocationally. I rushed out and purchased your book \"Refuse to Choose\" at my local Barnes & Noble, am half-way through it and have done the exercises that you recommend through the first half of the book...gotta love that 6-year calendar! ...I have so many interests, and actually DID take that aptitude test...which was great for the ego (\"You'd be good at so much,\" they said...), but which of course was absolutely zero help to me, as you know. ************************************************************ Name: Mary Ann D. Permission: Ok to publish Date: Sunday, March 05, 2006 Time: 05:06 PM Barbara, I saw \"Refuse to Choose\" yesterday and was delighted. I have often said that if Leonardo da Vinci were alive today, he would have been diagnosed ADD and had his creativity squashed. For generations, my family has been considered eccentric because we approach living much differently than the rest of the world. My brothers and I were encouraged to explore different interests--having several projects going at the same time was the norm in our home--and is still the norm in mine. You're absolutely right, we love learning, then when we have learned all we can (or wish to) about a subject, it's time to move on to something else. One thing I've noticed is that we are happier, can cope better with challenges, and live longer than those who contend we are abnormal. We have always maintained that we are the ones who are normal, not those who choose to unhappily embrace artificial standards placed upon us. I agree with you that the major change happened because of the space race. I have pre-ordered \"Refuse to Choose,\" and can't wait to find out what category of scanners I fall into. Thank you, thank you, thank you for bringing awareness to the rest of the world! You are a gem! Name: Peter S. Permission: Ok to publish Date: Saturday, March 04, 2006 Time: 07:07 AM Question: Hi Barbara, I saw 20 minutes of your show last night and I feel that my life has changed forever! I hope to take your workshop and read your book NOW! I am a film-maker/TV producer/muscian/writer/poet.I am launching an international aids foundation. I wrote a wonderful movie. I sell for 2 businesses. I run one business (oneWorldVideo.com) and am starting another doing interactive games. Everyone my whole life has told me to FOCUS. I recently decided ( before I saw you) that I had to follow my dreams and do it all. I decided that my many interests and talents were a gift but I had my doubts. REAL SERIOUS DOUBTS. You have set me free. It is a miracle that I saw your show. I can't wait to read your book and take your workshop. Peter S. Name: rosemary P Permission: Ok to publish Date: Friday, March 03, 2006 Time: 08:39 PM what joy....a listen to your description of various personality typse, and behold - whichever catagory I place myself I FEEL GOOD!! Name: Nadine L. Permission: Ok to publish Date: Saturday, March 11, 2006 Time: 07:17 PM Hi Barbara, I'm going to try real hard and not go off in tangents- Just wanted to say thank you !! I was flipping through (scanning!) the channels- saw your program and had a moment. Ordered your book and read it happily today. You probably already know this- but besides education, tips and reassurance- you give people joy!!!! One of my biggest fears in life is running out of things to explore and learn- one of my greatest joys- everything, the existence of everything and all the possibilities. You reinforce Joy!!!!! Grateful-Nadine AMAZON.COM Average Customer Review: ? ? Finally! , March 10, 2006 Reviewer:Sunriser (Seattle, WA) Barbara Sher offers encouragement and guidance to those of us who don't know what we want to \"be when we grow up.\" A fellow \"scanner,\" she commiserates with our need to scan the horizon for new challenges and discoveries, and with the burdening notion that, if we stick with just one thing, we'll miss out on something better. Ultimately, Barbara gives scanners permission to say, \"I won't do only one thing - I'll do it all.\" The book is filled with guidance and various techniques that scanners can apply to our lives, based on which type of scanner we are (it's refreshing to know that we don't fit neatly into the same package). Barbara describes the various types at length so that even the most indecisive scanner will identify with only one or two the categories. It turns out that I'm a wanderer: someone who is drawn to so many disparate types of activities that it seems my life lacks direction and form. Though, after reading Barbara's book, I realize that my \"wanderings\" aren't random - that all along they've had a theme and have followed a precise path. By completing the exercises in the book, I've discovered what that theme is and have decided to compile my journey into a collection of personal essays. Don't waste any more time trying to wrangle yourself down a career path that doesn't work for you. Barbara reminds us that when we understand ourselves, we can be free to what we were born to do. Good luck! ? Barbara just gets better and better!, March 10, 2006 Reviewer:Myrrh404 \"books books books!\" If you want tools and support and knowhow to get what you want out of life, check Barbara's books. I just got my copy of \"Refuse to Choose\" and tore through it from cover to cover. I can't wait to go back through from the beginning and follow all the exercises. ? Amazing! , March 10, 2006 Reviewer:Elizabeth Weinstein \"financial planner\" (San Jose, CA United States) ?    I have read some of Barbara Sher's other books, but this one was really written for someone like me -- the \"Scanner\" -- those people who just love everything, who do not want to be stuck in just one career or hobby (for life, or at any particular time). Barbara does not just tell us that we are \"okay;\" she also outlines a number of ways for Scanners to manage their life and ideas. Her book identifies various types of Scanners, and outlines specific tips for each type. Quick read, and I plan to read it again to make sure I apply the tips and ideas to my life. ? Reading Barbara Sher changed my life. (Yes, we DO exist!), March 8, 2006 Reviewer:Sarah S. Tatoun (Arlington, VA) ?    I read 'Wishcraft' when it first came out about a quarter of century ago-- and yes, it DID change my life. I spent a number of years abroad (part of my dream) and on returning, found Barbara Sher's website and bulletin board. I am a classic 'scanner' of the type described in this book and was privileged to read a copy of the book while it was still in manuscript. Eager to see the published version, I rushed to this site as soon as one of the regulars on the bulletin board announced her copy had arrived... and saw the two reviews, both dated before the book was printed! Aristophanite may, as I did, have gotten a preview copy, but since Ms. Sher was still working hard on the text in January it is hard to believe that Jane Grane could be basing her 'review' on an actual book. Suffice it to say that the large number of us who have been told all our lives that we must 'settle down', choose between our various loves and concentrate on a single subject will find this book a delightful revelation. As she does in her other books, Barbara Sher gives wonderful tips on how to get the life you want without changing who you are-- or even changing your attitude! Readers who want a taste of Barbara Sher's wit and wisdom before buying the current book can read 'Wishcraft' [...] which has an extensive bulletin board as well as information on the activities of the non-profit she founded to promote the native weaving arts in Turkey. ? An Excellent Book, February 9, 2006 Reviewer:Aristophanite Full of Ms Sher's unique wisdom and humor, this book is well written and a breath of fresh air for anyone who has despaired at having to choose one thing to do with your life. With this book you'll find out how you can do it all and learn a lot about yourself in the process. I enjoyed it thoroughly. FROM MY BULLETIN BOARD ....................................... Starfish ?Posted: Fri Mar 10, 2006 3:10 pm    Post subject: Just got mine and love it so far. Sometimes it feels like Barbara has been eavesdropping into my thoughts or something--I have found myself nodding to a lot of what she says. It surprised me, too. I didn't realize how much emotion there is in this topic for me. Even made me cry a bit. It's really hard not to think of seemingly unfinished projects as evidence of my inferiority, but I'm trying to let this sink in like rain so I can grow unencumbered by that perception. (!) I'm just so glad she wrote this book. I know so many who will benefit from it. .......................... Brotherwolven Location: St. Louis, MO ?Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2006 12:08 am   I pored through the first two chapters tonight. Very interesting stuff...especially since it describes me perfectly. When you get your hands on this book, do yourself a favor: buy a blank unlined journal. There's plenty of fun exercises to do before the first chapter ends. ........................... ?Myrrh404 The book is good, good, good! (Finished it and I'm getting ready to make a second pass and take notes). .................
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Postby BarbaraSher » Wed Apr 12, 2006 12:17 pm

I have just finished Refuse to Choose and I had so many wonderful emotions popping in and out throughout the read. It was inspiring to me when I think about all the people who feel like they don't fit in or can't fill the mold of what a "career" has evolved to in our society. As we proceed into downsizing, rightsizing, offshoring and such I see the American worker as having less and less value while working more hours for decreasing pay. I think your newest gift to us encourages everyone, no matter where they are in the workforce to follow their gifts and dreams of who they were meant to be and enjoy the paths they are going to take when they start searching out those interests pulling at them. Thanks for your insights, your emphasis on diversity and the tools that you have placed in front of us to help us start the Scanner shuffle! You are the best, Barbara! Francene H. (diagnosed and starting on the cure)
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Postby BarbaraSher » Wed Apr 12, 2006 2:43 pm

Dear Barbara, This is just a note of thanks. A long time ago your book "I could do anything if..." was the ONLY thing that helped me leave my Golden Handcuff job and pursue other things. But now you've helped me even more. My husband just brought home your new book Refuse to Choose for me. He thought it would help me. I just read the intro and I started to cry. I have always wondered why my life after college has been such a struggle. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. You are such a blessing and a joy and a great, big help to all of us. But perhaps to more than you know...for my husband is a Scanner... and so am I....and now you're helping us live a better life which gets passed on to our beautiful, amazing two-year-old daughter. May she focus or scan to her heart's content and never feel troubled because of it. With great love, Alora
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Postby BarbaraSher » Thu May 04, 2006 11:25 pm

Here are some more emails I received. I shortened them to use in radio shows and took the names off some: Name: Karen Date: Sunday, March 12, 2006 Dear Barabara, I bought "Refuse to Choose" on Tuesday and read it cover-to-cover. Your definition of the scanner describes me exactly, thank you for this wonderful book. Karen Parent, partner, photographer, writer, bibliophile, gardener, artist, engineer, business owner, dreamer, citizen .... ...I was inspired by your latest book,REFUSE TO CHOOSE. In fact, as soon as I finished the last page, I immediately began my own scanner day planner ... All scanners live with the frustration of knowing that there are so many wonderful options to choose from in life and only limited time to do them all... but your book gives us permission to do just that! So, I wanted to thank you for identifying the source of my frustration and giving me some tools to overcome it. Sandi L: (ESL Teacher, ASL Interpreter, ASL Teacher, Literacy Consultant, Workshop Facilitator, Spanish Speaker, World Traveler, Poet, Novelist, Singer, Actress, Aunt, Sister, Pet Owner... and now, maybe Motivational Speaker???) Date: Sunday, March 12, 2006 On what most others mislable A.D.D.!! I value every resource that reminds me I'm NOT broken! Diane C When I started 'reading Refuse to Choose' I sat straight up wide-eyed and mouth agape. I'm not lazy! I'm not unmotivated! What a relief! I am a fast learner and am easily bored...sound familiar? Barbara, I read "Refuse to Choose" yesterday and was delighted. ..[if]Leonardo da Vinci were alive today, he would have been diagnosed ADD and had his creativity squashed. For generations, my family has been considered eccentric because we approach living much differently than the rest of the world. My brothers and I were encouraged to explore different interests--having several projects going at the same time was the norm in our home--and is still the norm in mine. You're absolutely right, we love learning, then when we have learned all we can (or wish to) about a subject, it's time to move on to something else. One thing I've noticed is that we are happier, can cope better with challenges, and live longer than those who contend we are abnormal. We have always maintained that we are the ones who are normal, not those who choose to unhappily embrace artificial standards placed upon us. I agree with you that the major change happened because of the space race. ...Thank you, thank you, thank you for bringing awareness to the rest of the world! You are a gem! ..... Hi Barbara, [Because of you] I feel that my life has changed forever!...I am a film-maker/TV producer/muscian/writer/poet.I am launching an international aids foundation. I wrote a wonderful movie. I sell for 2 businesses. I run one business (oneWorldVideo.com) and am starting another doing interactive games. Everyone my whole life has told me to FOCUS. I recently decided ( before I saw you) that I had to follow my dreams and do it all. I decided that my many interests and talents were a gift but I had my doubts. REAL SERIOUS DOUBTS. You have set me free. It is a miracle...Peter S .......... what joy....a listen to your description of various personality types, and behold - whichever catagory I place myself I FEEL GOOD!! rosemary p ......... Name: Nadine L I'm going to try real hard and not go off in tangents- Just wanted to say thank you !! Ordered your book and read it happily today. You probably already know this- but besides education, tips and reassurance- you give people joy!!!! One of my biggest fears in life is running out of things to explore and learn- one of my greatest joys- everything, the existence of everything and all the possibilities. You reinforce Joy!!!!! Grateful-Nadine AMAZON.COM Average Customer Review: ? ? Finally! , March 10, 2006 Reviewer:Sunriser (Seattle, WA) Barbara Sher offers encouragement and guidance to those of us who don't know what we want to "be when we grow up." A fellow "scanner," she commiserates with our need to scan the horizon for new challenges and discoveries, and with the burdening notion that, if we stick with just one thing, we'll miss out on something better. Ultimately, Barbara gives scanners permission to say, "I won't do only one thing - I'll do it all." The book is filled with guidance and various techniques that scanners can apply to our lives, based on which type of scanner we are (it's refreshing to know that we don't fit neatly into the same package). Barbara describes the various types at length so that even the most indecisive scanner will identify with only one or two the categories. It turns out that I'm a wanderer: someone who is drawn to so many disparate types of activities that it seems my life lacks direction and form. Though, after reading Barbara's book, I realize that my "wanderings" aren't random - that all along they've had a theme and have followed a precise path. By completing the exercises in the book, I've discovered what that theme is and have decided to compile my journey into a collection of personal essays. Don't waste any more time trying to wrangle yourself down a career path that doesn't work for you. Barbara reminds us that when we understand ourselves, we can be free to what we were born to do. Good luck! ? Barbara just gets better and better!, March 10, 2006 Reviewer:Myrrh404 "books books books!" If you want tools and support and knowhow to get what you want out of life, check Barbara's books. I just got my copy of "Refuse to Choose" and tore through it from cover to cover. I can't wait to go back through from the beginning and follow all the exercises. Don't miss "Wishcraft", either. I keep 3 copies; one to loan, one that's nearly read to death, and a nice clean pristine one for when the second falls completely apart. ? Amazing! , March 10, 2006 Reviewer:Elizabeth Weinstein "financial planner" (San Jose, CA United States) ?    I have read some of Barbara Sher's other books, but this one was really written for someone like me -- the "Scanner" -- those people who just love everything, who do not want to be stuck in just one career or hobby (for life, or at any particular time). Barbara does not just tell us that we are "okay;" she also outlines a number of ways for Scanners to manage their life and ideas. Her book identifies various types of Scanners, and outlines specific tips for each type. Quick read, and I plan to read it again to make sure I apply the tips and ideas to my life. ? Reading Barbara Sher changed my life. (Yes, we DO exist!), March 8, 2006 Reviewer:Sarah S. Tatoun (Arlington, VA) ?    I read 'Wishcraft' when it first came out about a quarter of century ago-- and yes, it DID change my life. I spent a number of years abroad (part of my dream) and on returning, found Barbara Sher's website and bulletin board. I am a classic 'scanner' of the type described in this book and was privileged to read a copy of the book while it was still in manuscript. Eager to see the published version, I rushed to this site as soon as one of the regulars on the bulletin board announced her copy had arrived... and saw the two reviews, both dated before the book was printed! Aristophanite may, as I did, have gotten a preview copy, but since Ms. Sher was still working hard on the text in January it is hard to believe that Jane Grane could be basing her 'review' on an actual book. Suffice it to say that the large number of us who have been told all our lives that we must 'settle down', choose between our various loves and concentrate on a single subject will find this book a delightful revelation. As she does in her other books, Barbara Sher gives wonderful tips on how to get the life you want without changing who you are-- or even changing your attitude! Readers who want a taste of Barbara Sher's wit and wisdom before buying the current book can read 'Wishcraft' [...] which has an extensive bulletin board as well as information on the activities of the non-profit she founded to promote the native weaving arts in Turkey. ? An Excellent Book, February 9, 2006 Reviewer:Aristophanite Full of Ms Sher's unique wisdom and humor, this book is well written and a breath of fresh air for anyone who has despaired at having to choose one thing to do with your life. With this book you'll find out how you can do it all and learn a lot about yourself in the process. I enjoyed it thoroughly. FROM THE BULLETIN BOARD ....................................... Starfish Sometimes it feels like Barbara has been eavesdropping into my thoughts or something--I have found myself nodding at everything she says. It surprised me, too. I didn't realize how much emotion there is in this topic for me. Even made me cry a bit. It's really hard not to think of seemingly unfinished projects as evidence of my inferiority, but I'm trying to let this sink in like rain so I can grow unencumbered by that perception. (!) I'm just so glad she wrote this book. I know so many who will benefit from it. .......................... Brotherwolven I pored through the first two chapters tonight. Very interesting stuff...especially since it describes me perfectly. When you get your hands on this book, do yourself a favor: buy a blank unlined journal. There's plenty of fun exercises to do before the first chapter ends. ........................... ?Myrrh404 The book is good, good, good! (Finished it and I'm getting ready to make a second pass and take notes). .... Barbara, Thank you a million times for writing this book. It... nearly brought me to tears. The relief I feel at not being a complete [screw-up]-up is immeasureable. Sincerely,Tracy ...I feel like you're writing only about me....I'm so glad to know that there are so many other people like me. I guess I finally have found my "tribe".Thanks soooooooooo much for all your hard work! Very gratefully, Marlaine DesChamps ...I love it! I feel like I have been waiting my whole life for your book to come out. ...I have been so scattered lately and it seems like I have taken one step forward and ten back. ...with the help of your book I can finally have some sort of plan for my life. Molly Sargent ...I completely devoured it, open mouthed! ...Barbara, I don't know how you do it, but I don't want you to ever stop! Thank you for caring as much as you do. Thank you for reaching out to all of us. Thank you for being as "real" as you are! Ubu ........
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Postby BarbaraSher » Thu Jun 15, 2006 5:11 pm

Name: Dorothy Permission: Ok to publish Date: Thursday, June 15, 2006 Time: 02:59 PM Question: Hi Barbara, I just wanted to comment on your book \"Refuse to Choose\". Absolutely Love it. I'm almost done with it which saddens me. I Loved how you were able to put my personality into words and the reasons why I do what I do. Better yet, you were able to give solutions. Email: lavaughnr@verizon.net Name: LaVaughn Rynearson Permission: Ok to publish Date: Wednesday, June 14, 2006 Time: 03:39 PM Question: Thank you so much for helping me to finally accept myself exactly as I am. And for giving me a category of my own. I LOVE the fact that I'm a scanner and that there are many more like me in the world. It's such a relief to know that I don't ever have to know what I want to be when I grow up (even at age 55). Name: Tawanda Permission: Ok to publish Date: Tuesday, June 13, 2006 Time: 09:45 AM Question: I don't have a question just a thank you! I saw your PBS special about Scanners in Atlanta on Sunday. It has saved and changed my life! At times when you feel as if you are without purpose or passion you think--Why do I exist? or really, Why should I exist? I've battled depression for many years because I couldn't find a niche and remain in it for a duration. I couldn't find that happy place. I've earned two degrees and I'm working on a PhD. All of my degrees are in different fields. I've had many mini-careers and hundreds of interests. I now feel more confident and tears fill my eyes and I truly feel like I 'm not a flake but a scanner! I am taking your advice and becoming a freelancer. I get to combine my interest in many things with writing E-Books. I will plan to be at your session in Atlanta in August! Name: DH, Question or Comment: My entire diver-family has ALWAYS said I was a flake because I go from one thing, do it well and then move on to do the next thing very well. (They have all done one thing forever...yuck! Thank you for the info on my being a scanner. I have accomplished so much, but I'm not a diver...now I know it's okay. With gratitude, DeAnn Name: Enid Permission: Ok to publish Date: Sunday, June 11, 2006 Time: 12:21 PM Question: I saw you on PBA in Atlanta and what you said brought me to tears as you described how I have felt all my life...I am now 59 and doing what I love (serveral things ) and loving it. I thank you for helping me to realize that this is a workable situation and to stop thinking I should just get a real job! Love to you E.
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Postby BarbaraSher » Sat Oct 06, 2007 12:22 pm

Hi! I'm an Aussie! Just got Barbara's book RTC yesterday - -- OMG! I was so excited reading the prologue that I could hardly breathe. I'm like, thats ME! I'm not a freak! I can't believe it! I already have old art journals - sketchbooks that turned into something more like a daybook, with fragments of all sorts of things. I'm so hoping that this will help me get some order in my life and not feel like such an underachiever! I used to want a 'balanced life' to be a 'renaissance woman' but then I started to feel like a 'jack of all trades' when I realized that I was getting no depth in anything that I do. I'd missed picking up 'I could do anything... if only I knew what it was' because I DO know what I want to do: EVERYTHING!
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Re: REFUSE TO CHOOSE -- book/show/workshops

Postby BarbaraSher » Tue Feb 26, 2008 10:30 pm

Name: M.R. State: TX Country: USA Permission: Ok to publish Date: Tuesday, February 19, 2008 Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!!!! I've just been reading excerpts from "Refuse to choose" on the internet, and I have tears that I'm wiping away in order to see well enough to write this note. I've just ordered a copy of the book from Amazon. I think, maybe, finally, I've found out what's "wrong" with me. I'm a scanner!!!!! I've read your "wishcraft" book, and I must say it works great: how to get what you really want. It works so well, I've learned the truth to "be careful what you pray for". Once I make up my mind what I want, I usually get it. Problem is, for choosing a career, it hasn't helped. I want so many things I can't choose!!!! I'm that straight-A student who did great in school, but hates "real life". My 40th birthday is coming up in 2 months, and I've never had a "career", just a series of jobs that become uninteresting once I've been there for more than a year or so (or even a few months in some cases). I've been through expensive and useless "career aptitude testing", scoring WAY too high on WAY too many categories. I'm sitting here with a Master's degree in mechanical engineering, earning approximately three times the median salary for this area, and hating my job. I live for weekends, when I can work on my garden, play my guitar, work on yet another short story, study Spanish, study Japanese, work on my new stained glass project, play the piano... you get the picture??? I think probably you do. Not expecting a reply to this email, just wanted to say thanks for recognizing that people like me exist and maybe we're not "lazy" or "undisciplined" or "immature" or any of those other labels that have been heaped upon me. I'll let you know how things work out after I read your book. Again, thank you.
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Re: REFUSE TO CHOOSE -- book/show/workshops

Postby BarbaraSher » Tue Feb 26, 2008 11:05 pm

Barbara, I just wanted to thank you for your work. I'm a gifted adult, and if that weren't problem enough, I'm also a Scanner. Of course, I've only just discovered this tonight, reading an excerpt from your book. I literally cried, because, suddenly, I made sense! So thank you for showing me a light. I will be buying the books! S.C. Reno, NV
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