W: find musicians O: need to be safe

[Jaime]

I really want to be in a band or some kind of musical ensemble. It's fun playing my instruments at home alone, but I want some friends to make music with!

Obstacles: I could put up a Craigslist ad or a flier at the music store, but I'm not sure what I'd do if anyone answered it! I'm not crazy about inviting a stranger into my home, and I'm even less crazy about going alone to a stranger's house. It's like internet dating, but we can't meet at a coffee shop as if it were a date. I need a safe public place to check each other out, where we can also make some noise together and see if we can turn it into music. There are places I could rent in town, but it's going to get expensive to rent a conference room just to meet someone who may or may not become a band mate.

[Cotes du Rhone]

- Get some of your friends together to be at your place during the rehearsals to make it safer. Unless you live in the heart of a crime-ridden area, chances are doing it at your house/apt/basement will be perfectly safe and the people who show up will be pleasant
- Alternately, invite all the people to come at once and hang out together, playing with you individually
- Are there places/venues/etc which have 'music rooms' or equipped stages you can use for free. For instance, at schools/colleges/universities, clubs/lounges/bars, churches/religious institutions
- Instead of your place, go to their places & bring a friend with you
Good luck

[BarbaraSher]

Good ideas!

[Jaime]

Thanks, idyllology! I like these ideas.

[cshore knitter]

Do any of the music stores in your area have a bulletin board (I know, they're pretty old fashioned!) where musicians might post cards or ads looking for other musicians to play with?

[mango]

I'm thinking that I would post something on a bulletin board in a university-type setting that has a music program (if you live near one). Post it on the bulletin board in the actual music department.

Music students can book practice rooms for free!

Good luck!

[soul_sista]

hi jaime,

did you ever get your band together? i've been in bands since i was 15 and have met many, many people online who i'm still dear friends with and i'm 45 now and i'm an internationally known recording artist. my website is down because i am redoing it right now. you can just google Soul Sista Shakti (if that's allowed). i also have stuff out under my real name, too.

but, one other place that helped me get started out is open mic nights. aspiring musicians and musicians that want to meet other music lovers will be there and you never know what kind of connections you'll make - you can meet someone that knows someone then voila - someone is looking FOR YOU.

it's so fun

i live in NYC now and starting all over so I have to go to bigger places where more established musicians hang out...scary! let me know if you have any questions.

soul sista

[Jason]

Why not meet in a coffee shop so you can feel each other out?

You don't have to play music the first time, or several times you meet.

[Jaime]

soul_sista, thanks for checking in with me. No band yet. I did find a bluegrass jam that is pretty fun to go to.

The open mike is a good idea (if terrifying). I would need to polish up a couple of songs enough to get through them in front of an audience.

Jason, a good point about meeting in a coffee shop. Thanks!

[redsedge]

Open mic nights are a great idea - you can always go along to listen/check it out first. Then you get an idea what style of music is played so you can prepare yourself. There are often clubs around, like ukulele clubs who welcome players of other instruments, although it is politic to ask first if this is OK.

There are online forums, like this one, but for aspiring musicians, where people post audio or video clips of their music. Sometimes, people get together online and make a recording together without ever meeting. I've met several people through these forums (fora?) and played, been to sit in an orchestra pit and had a lesson. Of course, you should always consider your personal safety, for example meet in the daytime in a public place, always let someone know where you are and follow your gut feelings, too.

[sweetsoulmusic]

Go to jams, go to jams, go to jams. It's really the only answer. I went to two different jams at blues clubs (I wanted that style of players) twice a week for a couple of months, and it gained me a ton of respect as a vocalist. Not to mention, I found my entire band that way and they are some of the most amazing musicians I've ever seen. The credibility of staying committed to always being there meant they got respect for me, saw I was serious and wanted to make the sacrifice to play with me. They believed in what I was doing, liked my performance style, etc. Trust me, it's brought me some amazing connections just going all of the time. Say hi to everyone. Tell and show them what you do. It'll all come together eventually.

[inspiresuccess]

This Thread has had 1,435 "views" since it was posted. That's ONE THOUSAND, FOUR HUNDRED THIRTY-FIVE TIMES that people have looked at this thread!

Let's get this up and running! It's obviously something that lots of people are interested in.

PLEASE -- IF YOU STOP BY THIS THREAD, SHARE YOUR EXPERIENCES IN THIS AREA! PEOPLE HERE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU AND LEARN WHAT WORKED AND WHAT DIDN'T!

Here's my input. If you are too scared to play at an open mic night -- no problem. They really need you out there in the audience cheering them on!
Believe me, there are people there for the first time, or people trying out a new song they wrote for the first time and they are scared s***less! They need you! Put your hands together and CLAP LOUDLY and CHEER.

Then, pay attention to the people who have a similar style to what you want to do and who have a nice personal "vibe" that you feel good about. Go up to them afterwards and first, tell them how much you enjoyed them, what you liked about what they played or their style, and THEN............... ask if they would be interested in getting together with you.

Good luck, everyone, and please share your experiences!

[SquarePeg]

I was sure that I replied to this W/O, but I don't see my post in this thread.

I found musicians at work, even when I wasn't looking for any. I hadn't played the bass guitar for more than 25 years. But I mentioned that I played to a few guys that brought their guitars in to practice during lunch time. Suddenly, I found myself agreeing to play at the company picnic. We had three practice sessions and then did the gig. Afterward, we decided it was too much trouble to do it again. A couple of the guys I work with are very talented. Oh, and one's a comedian who bravely roasted the big boss on his birthday. It takes a lot of guts to tell old-age jokes at your boss!