Wish to have a dream

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Re: Wish to have a dream

Postby tui » Sun Feb 23, 2014 12:31 am

One more week of February. Exams will be nearly finished.

When you have completed where can you go to play? To regain your sense of humour and peace of mind...

Some people 'know' from very young that they want to become in a particular profession. How wonderful!

Most people are a work in progress. They find work they enjoy, and people they enjoy, by trying and combining. They are much more adaptable. If they meet an unpleasant situation they can change their plans and go elsewhere to develop their mastery and interests. They are not crushed by a set-back. That could be useful.

As a shy writer you might be an INFP. (See the Briggs-Myers tests and explanations.) It is absolutely normal for any person deep in the 'P' spectrum to want to keep options open. To explore and wonder. To be a bit 'romantic'. To be creative in dreamy ways.

Selling and confronting and disputing can be very draining. That is not the world that fits you best - and that's fine.

You say you would prefer to be a travel writer and speaker. Would your sad friend be someone who can help you with this? Does she do the parts you don't like and vice versa - such as speaking with new people and organising?

When you think of your friend - what does she excel at? What do you turn to her for? Is her work drawing on her talents? Or is she being asked to struggle with what she is not so good at? Some encouragement to her - to let her know what you see in her - could be very useful. People are often told what their weaknesses are, not their strong points.

If you began to travel - what stories would you tell? For whom? Who would you invite to hear you? Where would be some good venues? Are there any clubs or groups who would be interested?

Just because you are still young is no block to doing this. Young people travel - and share their adventures. Perhaps you could try your writing hand at promotional material for travel groups... To entice, intrigue, and fascinate others to where they, too, want to go to those places. It is selling using a medium and way that is effortless for you, and can be comfortably improved by practice. Find a way to be paid for this. You are already a competent writer. Build your reputation in a good way.

Where would you go to develop your skills as a web designer-graphics person? A place with energy and enthusiasm and change-challenge? Who have you met at 'varsity, or around the city, who you like and trust, you could introduce you to people working perhaps at the fringes, not so much in a 'proper' job, who do this work? People who are willing to be unorthodox and different. Just because you are shy does not mean that you are conventional. What you have learned in psychology can be easily put to work in page design to influence with integrity, remember. It is not all offices and clinics and healing.

If you could wave a wand - which place have you heard of that you would love to work in? Perhaps the place you went to on your work experience? How might you get back there? What are they asking of you? What can you offer that they could use - and didn't know to ask for?

Some people have a very simple palette and a plain answer. Some people have more talents on their palette and want to use more of themselves. You seem to be one of them. Why settle for 'black and white' when you can enjoy using your colours in many combinations to play, create, and give? You're allowed to taste and change, after all.
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Re: Wish to have a dream

Postby Caylin » Fri Apr 11, 2014 4:16 pm

Thank you all verry, verry much for your answers!

I felt much better even I read your texts but there wasn’t any time to answer. I was in trouble with some things and now I’m home, back by my family and feel better there.
I have started my works for university yet and… yeah, it goes. But I’m still afraid. The last days I read more books and try to get after many things I passed. I’m looking for something I really want to do. I think its my problem. I don’t know, what I want to do… uhm…I can’t explain this. I want to do something, that makes me on fire, that makes my eyes shine bright, that I can’t sleep tonight and want more and more – and my english is so bad, sorry.
I want to do something important – not for me but for others. Well, I can’t work with cildern oder other people. But I still want to do something to make the world a better place. What a statement… but I hope you know what I mean.

Thank you verry much for your kind (lovely) words, Elaine.

I have read the last posts and have to expand my answer: here in Germany I have got a big problem, if you do something else than your job you choose first. Here are no "temporary agencies" like this and if you work as a charwoman even you’re a professor, you never ever come back and be a professor again. It’s really b…s..t and I can’t understand this system.

Smart? Uh, don’t know. High expectations and thoughtful person – right than.
I’m not sure, but I don’t think so. My life was … boring – I don’t know another word for it. I went to school and it was boring. I never had many friends. After school I had an internship by the little local newspaper. One year later I went to university – and that was all. You see: not verry difficult at all.

“Sometimes the purpose of getting to the top of a mountain is simply to get to the top just for the sheer sense of accomplishment.” – yeah, that’s sounds good. :)

And I like to hear much more about your thoughts, SquarePeg.

By the way: good luck for your mountains, Elaine.

Hm, I think maybe you’re right, skannie. Maybe it’s the reason why I’m upset and frustrated with my academic work. It’s too fast too boring for me. For example: I have to write about “State utopias in the Renaissance” and I choose Francis Bacons “New Atlantis” to write about. First time I thought “Great! That’s it! Atlantis! A lost world that no one have ever seen. So much to discover and explore.” I startet work and after a few days I think “Shit. It’s not ‘this’ Atlantis, without any myths or things to explore. I have to say, what other said before me. Oh no, it’s so boring…” Great and here I am.

By the way: thanks a lot for your effort!! I have saved the links and also some books already here.

It's already April and I'm not done yet… :( But I’m working for it!

“When you have completed where can you go to play? To regain your sense of humour and peace of mind...” – Well, I don’t know… I yearn to holiday at the sea…

“As a shy writer you might be an INFP” – what is ‘INFP’? I never heard that before.
No, my sad friend can’t help me with this. It’s hard to say, but she didn’t help me anyway. She had no words of encouragement for me when I really needed. Nope, she works for a temp agency, that belongs to a bank. She is not happy, but also does nothing for it that she become happy. But she’s always crying out every time.

I think it’s not “her” job. She is a smart and creative young woman, but she has chosen the wrong arguments. She wanted to be a successful boss, but she has seen what you have to do this and stopped their will on immediately. I've always encouraged her. Unfortunately, she don’t listen to me and buries herself in her hole.

If I began to travel, I would write all about the countries I visit. I would write down my thoughts, memories and all stuff I seen there. I would make photographs of everything and I want to know the most I can about the country, language, people…
Maybe I would write a blog or books or make films. Yeah, I would like to achieve, that there are fewer prejudices. That the people come closer and they have less fear of the unknown. I would like to achieve, that people no longer blindly in their fear and anger of each other. That there is more free information for all and a chance to better understand each other. But I also know that’s a “Utopia”, only a little dream.

Oh, so many questions and it is already late. I'm going to watch them the next days and answer… but now I go to bed.

Greetings

Caylin
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Re: Wish to have a dream

Postby Elaine Glimme » Mon Apr 14, 2014 12:53 pm

Hi, Caylin,

I'm glad you posted. I was wondering how you're doing.

INFP is a description of a personality type. In the United States, there is a test that can tell you what your personality is like. I don't know all the details.

INFP means: Introvert, iNtuitive, Feeling, Perceptive This person is an idealist, wants to help people, make the world better. Relies more on feelings than logic. Does not like conflict.

NOTE: These are personality types. We are not types; we are people. We are not 100% anything. For example, someone who relies more on feelings will still use logic to drive a car or complete a mathematical assignment. Someone who does not like conflict, may still stand up to a bully who is hurting a friend. And there are no "good" types or "bad" types. We need all types in the world.
Most people need a balance between spending time with other people and spending time alone. Introvert/Extrovert is a description of this. Extroverts like to spend a LOT of time with others. They're the type who will happily go up to people they don't know, introduce themselves and start conversations. Introverts are more shy. They still need their friends and acquaintances, but they enjoy spending more time by themselves.
I used to be so shy I could hardly talk to anyone. Now, I'm not so frightened to talk to people.

By the way, no one is 100% introvert or 100% extrovert.

Also, we don't really know if your personality is INFP.

If you look up INFP on the internet, you can get more details.

I'll post more later.

Bye.
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Re: Wish to have a dream

Postby Elaine Glimme » Sat Apr 19, 2014 5:26 pm

You said, " here in Germany I have got a big problem, if you do something else than your job you choose first. Here are no "temporary agencies" like this and if you work as a charwoman even you’re a professor, you never ever come back and be a professor again."

I can't say anything about that. I don't know what is true in Germany.

On "Hanging Out" Barbara Sher posted an idea about assumptions. She said turn the assumption into a question. "If I start working in one area, can I ever work at something else?" Then, she said to ask many people that question. You might get some good ideas. I can't answer the question because I have never lived in Germany, but maybe someone else can.
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Re: Wish to have a dream

Postby SquarePeg » Wed Apr 23, 2014 10:32 am

SquarePeg lost his train of thought on this topic. But a new thought popped up, although it might mean nothing to you now.

When I was younger, I was a lot like you, Caylin. Even your description of the "New Atlantis" report sounds like something I might've experienced (although in a different context). I wanted a job in which I could do amazing things and be a part of something big.

After my wife and I started a family, the bigness of the job became far less important to me. But I am glad that I worked hard in school and attained a level in my profession that gives me some autonomy and freedom. (Except that right now, I'm expected to be in a meeting, so I have to leave this post as it is.) :)
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Re: Wish to have a dream

Postby Caylin » Mon Jul 07, 2014 2:10 am

Hi there,

I’m here again – still with no idea what I really want to do. But right now I’ve got a little wish – yay! And I really hope here to find someone who can help.

Last month I was in London for a week. I had a really good time there and we – my “whiny friend” and me – are still in love with this great city.

Both of us are not so good in english – you know. I understand a lot, but I can’t answer, because everything is in the passive vocabulary. So we are considering to live for a while in London and to attend a language school.

But there is a problem: we haven’t got a lot of mony and a trip is too expensive. 4 Weeks at a language school costs about 1 200 Euro. We thought about ‘work and travvell’, but we haven’t the language skills for that. I asked a professor (for american and english studies), but he also can’t help.

So how can we get more than 1 200 Euro (I have to say: there is no more time for little jobs…) or to get a place to live and learn the language? In fact I wrote the most of my texts with a bit help from an online translator, but if I have to speak to people, I only say “Sorry; thanks; a cup of tee, please” - that's not helpful at work or daily life.

Has anyone an idea?

Greetings from Germany
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Re: Wish to have a dream

Postby Elaine Glimme » Wed Jul 09, 2014 11:21 am

Hi, Caylin,

I hope you have a great time in London. I'm not much of a traveler, so I can't tell you how to do it cheaply. I hope someone else on the boards answers that part of your question, because it's a good question, and I know there are people who travel a lot and don't spend too much money to do it.

Concerning getting a job, I found a Barbara Sher quote that I thought was appropriate to your question, and also to a lot of other people who have asked the same thing:


" I believe you should never jeopardize your source of income to do what you love. I don’t even believe you should hold out for a job or career that fills you with passion and bliss! Especially if you’re a Scanner—because a Scanner often finds that learning new things is what fills them with passion and bliss. Many Scanners find great careers or good jobs, but often their passion and bliss is still something that never earns them a dime.

What you need right now is a Good Enough Job: that’s any job that doesn’t make you unhappy, doesn’t use up more than 40 hours a week, gives you the security you need, and has as its only serious limitation the fact that it isn’t “enough.” You can understand the value of a job like this if you call it by its correct name: A Subsidy to the Arts.
" Barbara Sher


I know what you mean about wanting your work to be important and useful. That could be a volunteer position for an hour or two when you aren't at work. Maybe that would become something that would earn you a living maybe not. And if you don't like it, you can leave and still have your good enough job to pay your bills.

Whatever you choose, I wish you well.
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Re: Wish to have a dream

Postby Caylin » Wed Jul 23, 2014 7:26 am

Hey Elaine,

thanks for your answer. :)
Yeah, I had a great time in London and I really want to live there for a while, to learn more about the country, language (!) and living. I'm searching for language schools, but it's all expencive. But I hope that there are people who can recommend me something or give some advice.

Well, I have to say that I am unsure if I understood everything you wanted to tell me... :oops: Sorry...

Greetings from Germany

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Re: Wish to have a dream

Postby expatana » Sat Jul 26, 2014 2:42 pm

Hi Caylin,

I noticed something when I was reading your posts all the way through: Your written English has improved in the months you've been communicating with us. Even while using a translator, you still have to write and be understood. And I have understood you more each time you post.

I hope that makes you feel better about your English.

I can also see myself at 23: a confused person, still at university, who felt so badly because I didn't know much about the working world. I thought everyone else knew more than I did.

Caylin, in addition to the quote from Barbara provided above, I can tell you that almost no one gets their "dream job" right out of uni. You look for a job that will pay your bills and, is possible, is as close as possible to one of your interests. I am not a scanner like so many on these boards, but all it takes is to start out working with one interest.

For you, that could be web design. It's a growing, "ultra-modern" field where there are still some jobs available. That's the case in the U.S., and I'd imagine in Germany, too. Also, do you use Facebook a lot? I'm hearing there are jobs for "social media managers," where you help a company or a series of companies develop their presence on Facebook, LinkedIn, Pinterest, etc. Many young people are good at social media, or they know enough that they can get good at it.

Still, you say you don't like advertising. So for you I keep thinking of web design. For now. The point is to get a job for right now. Do you see any ads (adverts) for jobs in web design, or even where you can help with design in some way?

After you're working for a while, maybe you can enroll in further English studies to get qualified to work in London.

Oh, one more thing: Do you live in a large city? Germany has a lot of English-speaking expatriates. Many of them may need to learn German, or more German than they know. You specialized in German studies at uni. Could you perhaps teach it, or work with expats on writing and other things they need to do in their work? You could put an ad out or design your own website offering your services.

Keep writing to let us know how you're doing!

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Re: Wish to have a dream

Postby expatana » Sat Jul 26, 2014 2:59 pm

Caylin, I'm sorry, I meant to also give you a couple of links. These are sites that provide advertisements and lists of schools and organizations for English teachers. Although most of them teach only English, I've noticed lately that some teach languages other than English. They are located all over the world. I check them almost daily.

I've taught English in Japan 3 times, and although I'm now too old for most of them, I'm looking for that rare organization that would accept someone who's 60, as I am also unemployed.

Anyway, give them a look. See if you can find one that teaches German:

www.tefl.com
www.eslcafe.com

Good luck,
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Re: Wish to have a dream

Postby expatana » Sat Jul 26, 2014 3:09 pm

And one more:

www.berlitz.co.uk/london/job_vacancies/

Berlitz teaches many languages. They teach German in most large U.S. cities; they probably teach it in London as well. If you can get hired by them and get enough hours, you may be able to live in London until you find something you like better!

If they don't have an opening in German right now, apply to them anyway. Jobs there always open up.

I worked for them in Japan, briefly (I got sick and had to leave). They gave me full-time hours, and they had teachers of other languages there as well.

Again, good luck!

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Re: Wish to have a dream

Postby expatana » Sat Jul 26, 2014 3:21 pm

One more thing, Caylin, and again this is just for now, if you decide to teach German or do German-related tasks like helping with written materials:

When you apply for jobs, emphasize your qualifications. You're not just a German speaker, you are a graduate with a specialty in German studies. That will help you stand out from other applicants who may be merely young Germans who graduated from university. Schools get them all the time.

Ok, that's it for now. Sorry for the multiple posts. :)
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Re: Wish to have a dream

Postby Elaine Glimme » Mon Aug 04, 2014 8:55 am

Hi, everyone,

Expatanna, I liked what you wrote about being 23 and thinking that everyone else knew exactly what they wanted to do. Some people do know who they are at 23 but most of us don't. I sure didn't. For me it is helpful to be able to say, "I don't know..." because then I can learn.
Also, some people who know exactly what they want at 23 sometimes have to start all over again - like a ballet dancer who breaks her leg.


I was in Norway and Sweden for two weeks, and now I'm back. This is something probably easy for most of you, but I have not traveled much during my life, so for me this was very hard. My daughter and my son-in-law came with us and did most of the planning and reservations, which helped a lot. But there was still a lot for me to learn. Like how the transportation systems work. (They're wonderful once you figure them out.) And how to get to through the airport, and what you have to do with your tickets. (They let my husband keep the whale salami from Norway, but we had to surrender the reindeer salami because you can't bring any part of a reindeer into the United States. (I still wonder if the customs official is eating reindeer salami and laughing at us.)

So for me that was my "learning experience".
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Re: Wish to have a dream

Postby expatana » Mon Aug 04, 2014 12:45 pm

Oh, what a story, Elaine! Just the fact that it happened gives you not only a cherished memory, but something to write about if you ever wanted to share about your travels. I believe more than ever before, travel is the most instructive and educational thing anyone can ever do, aside perhaps from working with people with extreme challenges.

So now that you have "done" some of Sweden and Norway, how do you feel about further travels? And beyond just your recent travel experiences ... what do you find yourself thinking about day by day?
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Re: Wish to have a dream

Postby Elaine Glimme » Mon Aug 04, 2014 2:27 pm

Expatana,

You're right about travel being educational.
I know from your previous posts, as well as your log-on name that you've done a lot of travel. so you should know!
I'd like to see some more places. My husband and I are getting older, and we want to see some more of the world while our bodies are still in good enough shape to enjoy it.

I learned some things, and on my next trip, I'll probably do things a little differently - stay in one place for a little longer. I'm glad my family went with me. It was fun to share the fun as well as the responsibility.

Norway is amazing. Beautiful mountains. The fiords are gorgeous. It's so green! California is experiencing a drought, so over here every thing is brown and struggling to get enough water.

Stockholm has a great transportation system (It took me a while to figure it out, and my foot was hurting, so I didn't want to walk too much.) They have "hop on hop off" buses and boats which take you to see all the historic and important sights in the city with little effort.

Everyone, I hope you'll forgive me for getting a little off the subject. But it's a little about facing fears and trying something new.
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