Wish to have a dream

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Wish to have a dream

Postby Caylin » Fri Jan 17, 2014 11:31 am

Hello everybody!

First of all: I'm from Germany and my school english is verry bad, I'm sorry. I need more practice, so please... if you find any mistakes - collect them, it's yours now. :wink:

Okay, something to know about me. I'm a new Member here and I try to finde... I'm note sure and I really don't know, what I want. But one thing I know: I need help and I try to find it here.
I'm 23 years old and I this semester is the last one, I'll spent on university (I hope). Many years ago, when I was 14 or 15, my dream was to be a journalist of a famous newspaper. So I go to some lokal newspaper and found a practical training after school. All right then. More than three years ago I went to an other city and go to university. After four semesters every student has to do a practical training. I found a place in an advertising agency, who sells homepages for small buisness. It wasn't my dream job, but interesting to. I thought. Just three weeks later it became more and more boring. Was it my fault? I don't know. Sometimes, when I go to pause (break, brunsh - I don't know what means the brunsh time at 13:30 on work to eat a little toast) I saw the web designer. I was enchanted. I loved the atmosphere between all creative people and the varied work. I love to create and to try something new. I talked with my coach and I was so happy as she said ok that I spent one day in the web department. Great! This day I could try something with Photoshop, read books or magazines about webdesign, colors or some else. It was a great time and I loved to see a new thing.
After that I want to know everything about web design, Photoshop, Photography to create my own homepage. But just a few weeks. Than I have to returned to university and have to spend all my time with boring things... Don't think I don't like it! I like german studies and philosophy, but it's not my one and only passion.

My dream to be a journalist is just a dream, I think. Germany hasn't got so many big newspaper (I really like to write for "Welt der Wunder" ('World of Wonder' like National Geografic but for young and "stupid" people like me) ) and so many journalists are unemployed.

So, I don't know what to do. I can't do the same thing all time - oh, my god! I like to do much more and I like to try so much more. I love to travel, but my family need more attention. (I live in an other city while I go to university) I don't know what I want to.
I addition I have to write many exam - I don't know how to manage this, what I do first and to climb on this "task mountain".

You see, students even don't know what to do... but I hope that one can help me or has got some helpful advice.

I am grateful for every answer.

Caylin
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Re: Wish to have a dream

Postby Elaine Glimme » Fri Jan 17, 2014 2:18 pm

Hello, Caylin,
Welcome,

Your English is much better than my German.

You are just beginning your career. You will find some things you love and some that you hate. That's okay. It's good to know what you don't like to do.

You said you were bored with the advertising job. Did you have to work on the computer most of the day? I get bored if I have to do more than two hours of computer work at one time. Or were you bored because selling houses was boring for you?

You liked the Photoshop and web design. You also said you like journalism.

At University, did you study journalism, and did you enjoy those classes?

Would you prefer a job where you had to travel, and go to different places instead of going in to the office every day?
And would you like a job where you had many different things to do, instead of doing the same type of work every day?

I don't know Germany, and I don't know very much about you. Here are my ideas. Please consider the ones that sound good to you and leave the ones that are not interesting.

Go ahead and apply for journalism jobs, even if you think you can't get them. You might get lucky. Even if you don't get the job, you'll learn something for the next time, and someone in journalism will know your name. If you can't get a job as a journalist, try to get something as close to it as you can, or a job for newspaper where there's a possibility of getting promoted to journalist.

When you apply for jobs, try to see if your interest in Photoshop and web design and journalism would be useful to the company.

Whatever job you get, do your best and learn as much as you can.
Most jobs are not wonderful and not terrible. If you get a job that you really, truly hate, do your best work, get something else as soon as possible, and try to leave your bosses happy with you and your work.
I had a boss (employer) whom I really HATED. He told me about a class I needed to do well on an interview. Because of him, I ended up with a wonderful job.

I hope you find something that makes you happy.



When I was 23, I thought I was supposed to know everything about jobs. Of course I didn't know everything. You learn about jobs by doing the work and trying things. It's okay not to know everything. Even when you're 43 or 53, it's okay not to know everything.
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Re: Wish to have a dream

Postby Caylin » Sat Jan 18, 2014 7:21 am

Hello Elaine,

thanks for your comment. :)

Well, I know what I don't like to do, but what I want is my problem. I don't know how young people in other countries getting to know, what they want. Are there teacher, parents, friends or some else who talked to the children or teenager and give them advices? Here in Germany, teenager don't know more than "standard-jobs", like florist or to work in kindergarten for girls and mechanic for boys. That's all.

Yes, I get bored in the advertising job. I like to work on the computer and I spend a much time on it. I like to write stories about wolves (I write virtual pen and paper roleplaye games with other wolve-fans) or I like to write on my own... fictional stories, poetry, short stories. Since I can hold a pen, I love to write. I was bored, because I have to write texts according to rules about boring buisness people. It's not my dream job. It's the same thing all time, 8,3 hours - too much time I loose. The work is not varied and not forert me. If I'm bored, I began to dream about what I can do instead.

Right, I like journalism, web design, photoshop, photograph, create something, music, travelling, history, psychology, astronomy (I love stars, planets and some day I want to see "ALMA" - Atacama Large Millimeter-submillimeter Array in Chile). I like to educate myself, I try to draw pictures and to do something new. I'm curious, but also very shy.

No, I don't study journalism. I study German studies (german language) and philosophy. I like it, yes of course, but it's too theoretical. I need more to do, than investigate what people have to say 2000 ago. Three years have passed and I only know a little bit about J.W.Goethe and that was all. Nothing more. No F.Schiller, no Brother Grimm (although I study in the "Grimm city"!), or other well-known authors. I'm really disappointed and frustrated.

Well, I prefer a job where I have to travel and go to different places, to see many thing new and after my really interesting trip I want to go in to my office, talk about what I'd see, show my pictures and to write about it. Maybe a blog or something else.
Of course, I would like a job with many different things to do. I can't spend all time standing on the assembly line and the same screw tighten. At some point would be for me a screw loose and I'm going crazy or run against the wall with my head.

I don't know about other countries, but in Germany you have no good chances to get a good job without practice, without journalism school and study journalism at university and without a perfect certificate. I know many freelance journalists who are unemployed. There's no future in this job. All major publishers reduce jobs: even an internship seems impossible!

It's funny: I am interested in a lot, but I can not do anything good. :( Somebody like me would never be usefull for a company. Not with these conditions.

Hm, I think you're right, but employers and society require that you know your way. They require a perfect degree, 30 years work experience and you mustn't be older than 18. Okay, I'm doing the impossible for my hobby. :?

Thank you for your answer.
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Re: Wish to have a dream

Postby Scenario Thinker » Sun Jan 19, 2014 2:08 pm

Ja, sehr viel besser Englisch als ich Deutsch. :)

Caylin wrote: ... employers and society require that you know your way. They require a perfect degree, 30 years work experience and you mustn't be older than 18

It was like that when I was 23 (over 30 years ago), it'll be like that when "your kids" are 23. Employers always want the best skills for the least money. It's called business. Whether they always get it is another story.

Caylin wrote:I don't know how young people in other countries getting to know, what they want. Are there teacher, parents, friends or some else who talked to the children or teenager and give them advices? Here in Germany, teenager don't know more than "standard-jobs", like florist or to work in kindergarten for girls and mechanic for boys. That's all.

It's pretty bad in the USA, too. Unless you're born a prodigy, or have very good personal insight, there's no good way to test what you would like or be good at. Schools are horrible at it. Parents don't know more than their social or business circles. Even career tools end up boiling down to a some sort of questionnaire.

Also, I think when you're younger, you comprehend more of the concrete jobs like teacher (recognized mainly because you're in school), policeman, fireman, tradesman, etc. As you get older, you see more of the "knowledge and data" jobs like accountant, lawyer, programmer, journalist, etc.


I liked web design too, it's the multimedia aspect I like. If we had computers like we have now when I got my art degree, I probably would have at least tried going into it since it had the visual design and the programming.

And yes, no job is perfect, do your best and get out quick when it's really bad, and you learn best by iterations of trial/error and theoretical learning.
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Re: Wish to have a dream

Postby SquarePeg » Sun Jan 19, 2014 2:50 pm

Caylin wrote:Hello Elaine,

It's funny: I am interested in a lot, but I can not do anything good. :( Somebody like me would never be usefull for a company. Not with these conditions.

I think you underestimate yourself and overestimate the people who are already employed, most of whom lack passion and imagination. Try to not have a pre-conceived notion of what's useful.
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Re: Wish to have a dream

Postby Caylin » Wed Jan 22, 2014 4:07 pm

Scenario Thinker wrote:Ja, sehr viel besser Englisch als ich Deutsch. :)
:) sweet.

Scenario Thinker wrote:It's pretty bad in the USA, too. Unless you're born a prodigy, or have very good personal insight, there's no good way to test what you would like or be good at. Schools are horrible at it. Parents don't know more than their social or business circles. Even career tools end up boiling down to a some sort of questionnaire.


No, I'm no prodigy or have good personal insights. :(

Scenario Thinker wrote:I think you underestimate yourself and overestimate the people who are already employed, most of whom lack passion and imagination. Try to not have a pre-conceived notion of what's useful.


I don't think so. It's reality. I'm thinking a much about what I can do. But I am totally overwhelmed. I have to do a lot for the university, but... I can't. It's crazy and horrible. my "to-do-list" grows longer and longer and... has no end, I thought! It's my current problem. In Germany they say "Oh my god, I don't know where my head is." I'm not sure that you know this proverb, but it tells you all about my feeling.
I have (and want to!!) finish my exam in febuary - and I have too much to do. Sometimes I think "Okay, move your body, calm down and DO IT!! RIGHT NOW!" - well, I'm goning to do my essay - for 5 min. And that was all... My concentration - lost. My motivation - has got holidays. And I'm going crazy about this.
I don't want to say it and I don't want, that you think, I'm a whiny person or I love to bathe in pity. But at the moment no one is listening to me. My mum don't know about my feelings, she has got many problems, too. And my friend is talking about herself all day and night. "My job is so pointless. My colleagues don't talk with me. I feel so alone." I can't hear it anymore! Sorry, I love her really, really, really. But she told me the same all day. What should I say? "Poor girl. You've got a boring job, silly colleagues and you're silly too cause you've taken this damned job. I'm alone, too. EVERY day and it's not my world. I can't talk to somebody, 'cause there is NO ONE! I am totally overwhelmed, cause I have to do all things alone and can't ask someone for help. Time is running out and I can't run faster. I have to wirte so much things for university, I have to look for the next step (master or job), for a new apartment and an idea for a good job for me after university - right now. I have to do this all alone, no one to ask for something or to tell my fears." Haha, I really want to shout it right into her ears, maybe she can hear me better and stops to cry about herself. But I can't do that. I love her and she wouldn't understand me. She's my friend, but... I don't know... she can't understand it, because, I think, she sees only her own misery. I shouldn't talk about her like this, I know and I feel verry sorry about it.

You see, you're the one I can ask for help - and I'm sorry to steal your time.

I'm really afraid of my examen and I don't know why. That's really weird, I know.

And sorry, I'm talking and whine too much. Sorry. I think I have to go to bed. :(

Thank you for comments.
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Re: Wish to have a dream

Postby Elaine Glimme » Wed Jan 22, 2014 8:17 pm

Caylin, you know so much more than I did when I was 23.

Here is what I think. I may be wrong.

You are afraid that you'll take the exams and expect everything to be wonderful, and then you'll get a job that you hate and you'll think "why did I do all that studying for nothing?"
Whatever happens, you have more choices if you do well in your exams than if you do poorly.
If you feel like whining, go ahead and whine. I certainly whine when I'm upset. Ask anyone who has read my posts. Whatever happens, you will have more choices if you do well in your exams than if you do poorly. Maybe if you whine for five minutes,REALLY HARD, it will help you settle down and study.

Keep doing the things you love - even if you don't make any money doing them. Do them just because you love them.

Starting life as an adult and getting your first job is very scary and also very wonderful.
When I read your posts, it sounds like you have to get a perfect job right away or your whole life will be terrible and you'll be stuck typing nothing but road signs for the rest of your life. Maybe you'll sound just like your friend who is always whining. Try to get something you like, but you can always leave a job and go work somewhere else.

In the United States, there are "temporary agencies". If an employee is going on a vacation for two weeks, his/her employer can call a temporary agency and hire someone for just two weeks (or three weeks or three days.) It's a good opportunity to learn about different jobs - good ones and bad ones If you get a bad one, it only lasts for a short time and then you get sent somewhere else.

Don't worry about being shy. That's something else you will overcome. Interviewing is very scary, but each time you go on an interview you get an idea of the kinds of questions they will ask you, and you get better at answering them. And as you get better, you become less shy.

I hope you and your friend who is unhappy can help each other. You can look for ideas together, and whine when things go badly, and celebrate when things go well.

Meanwhile, your exams are in February. Whatever happens, you will have more choices if you do well on your exams.


I wish you well.
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Re: Wish to have a dream

Postby Elaine Glimme » Thu Jan 23, 2014 9:33 pm

I just read what I thought was a good idea for people looking for jobs.

When he sees an announcement for a job that he has no chance of getting, he writes a letter to the company. He says that he is not qualified for the job, but he is interested in working for this company, and here is the kind of work he is qualified for.

It worked for him.
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Re: Wish to have a dream

Postby SquarePeg » Fri Jan 24, 2014 11:54 am

Ah, well, you're in university. I was overwhelmed in uni, too. In fact, I thought I had a learning disorder, that's how bad I felt. And I sought therapy.

I saw a poster in the guidance counselor's office (or perhaps it was the social worker). The poster depicted a lone cyclist climbing a steep mountain. Back then, I used to go for 20 mile or more rides on my bicycle, but I'd stopped to focus on my studies. The poster reminded me of the many hills I'd climbed during my rides. At first, I'd look at the steep hill in front of me. When I looked at the summit, I always doubted that I could reach the top, and I was tempted to get off and walk. So I learned to focus on the road that was just several feet ahead of me, which I knew I could finish. And that's how I rode up those hills.

That's how I got through uni -- by focusing just on what was close ahead. Also, I learned to "aim for success, not perfection."
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Re: Wish to have a dream

Postby Elaine Glimme » Mon Jan 27, 2014 6:18 pm

SquarePeg wrote:Ah, well, you're in university. I was overwhelmed in uni, too. In fact, I thought I had a learning disorder, that's how bad I felt. And I sought therapy.

I saw a poster in the guidance counselor's office (or perhaps it was the social worker). The poster depicted a lone cyclist climbing a steep mountain. Back then, I used to go for 20 mile or more rides on my bicycle, but I'd stopped to focus on my studies. The poster reminded me of the many hills I'd climbed during my rides. At first, I'd look at the steep hill in front of me. When I looked at the summit, I always doubted that I could reach the top, and I was tempted to get off and walk. So I learned to focus on the road that was just several feet ahead of me, which I knew I could finish. And that's how I rode up those hills.

That's how I got through uni -- by focusing just on what was close ahead. Also, I learned to "aim for success, not perfection."


What you say reminds me of most of the difficult things I've accomplished. The image of the hill that's just too steep to climb- that was what I saw when my Mom had passed away, and i had to take care of my father and one of my sisters, and work the power of attorney, sell the house (my sister did this step) and I didn't know what the heck I was doing. I saw a mountain that was just too hard. Anyway, my sister and I plowed over it - a little bit at a time. That 's why I like to post on "Success Stories and" X steps per day". I don't always get X steps accomplished, but it breaks the concept up in my mind into small steps that I can accomplish.

But when I ride up hills, I almost always have to get off and walk part of the way.
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Re: Wish to have a dream

Postby Caylin » Wed Feb 05, 2014 5:10 am

But what do you do when You know neither the mountains or purpose?

If you don't know what You're doing something and for what? I just see only the mountain - but no way... :(
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Re: Wish to have a dream

Postby Elaine Glimme » Wed Feb 05, 2014 4:21 pm

Oh, Caylin,

I wish I could fly to Germany, put my arms around you and tell you it will be all right.

Square Peg said, "
That's how I got through uni -- by focusing just on what was close ahead. Also, I learned to "aim for success, not perfection."
I think that's good advice. Especially if you are seeing mountains and nothing else.

How do I know that everything will be all right? I know that you're smart enough to get into University. From reading your posts, I think that you have high expectations for yourself, and that you are a thoughtful person.

The feelings you describe, many people have these feelings. The fact that you see the mountain tells me that you are intelligent. There are many people who refuse to believe that the mountain is there. Have you ever in your life accomplished something that was very difficult?

If I were your mother, I would tell you to only worry about your exams right now. Plan on worrying about the rest later. After the exams are over, you can think back to how you feel now and tell yourself, "well, I finished my exams. That was hard and I did it. So maybe I can do something else that's hard."

What do you do when you don't know the mountain or the purpose? You go exploring. You already took your first steps up the mountain when you started University. You already know more than a lot of other people.

I'm having a bad day too. I have three mountains that I need to take care of. They're not that bad, really, but I'm feeling very unhappy about them, and very weak. So I'm whiny also. I hope we both do well.
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Re: Wish to have a dream

Postby SquarePeg » Thu Feb 06, 2014 12:24 pm

The purpose....

Sometimes the purpose of getting to the top of a mountain is simply to get to the top just for the sheer sense of accomplishment. More practically speaking, getting a degree is like earning a key that will open doors for you.

I used to have a big problem a work. I over-analyzed everything. That comes naturally with a degree in engineering. I view the world so differently from others. So much is inter-related. If I was asked to find out why there was suddenly a problem making something, I became overwhelmed with the possibilities. After analyzing the problem, I became surprised that we were ever able to make the thing initially. Hmm, I thought this was going to lead to some sage advice.... I need to stop here. Maybe I'll pick up my train of thought later. :)
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Re: Wish to have a dream

Postby Elaine Glimme » Thu Feb 06, 2014 4:18 pm

SquarePeg wrote:The purpose....

Sometimes the purpose of getting to the top of a mountain is simply to get to the top just for the sheer sense of accomplishment. More practically speaking, getting a degree is like earning a key that will open doors for you.

I used to have a big problem a work. I over-analyzed everything. That comes naturally with a degree in engineering. I view the world so differently from others. So much is inter-related. If I was asked to find out why there was suddenly a problem making something, I became overwhelmed with the possibilities. After analyzing the problem, I became surprised that we were ever able to make the thing initially. Hmm, I thought this was going to lead to some sage advice.... I need to stop here. Maybe I'll pick up my train of thought later. :)


Here's where I would go with your engineering example: When you have too many possibilities, you just go around and around and can't actually get anything done. If you just focus on one thing at a time, you can complete it. At least that's true for me. And if you're smart and creative, you can see more possibilities.

Also, "yes" on earning the degree. My life would have been so much worse if I hadn't gotten a degree.

By the way, I'm working successfully on one of my "mountains" right now.
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Re: Wish to have a dream

Postby skannie » Fri Feb 07, 2014 6:20 pm

Hi Caylin

From the way you describe yourself, I'm almost certain you have a Scanner personality. Scanners are people who have many different interests, and hate the thought of specialising in just one thing for the rest of their lives. I'm also a Scanner and so are many people on these boards.

Don't worry! You can have a very successful life as a Scanner. You don't have to conform to conventional expectations and everlasting boredom.

I strongly recommend you read Barbara Sher's book about Scanners. It's called "Refuse to Choose" (or the title in some countries is "What do I do When I Want to do Everything?") There is a German edition too:

"Du musst dich nicht entscheiden, wenn du tausend Träume hast"
http://www.amazon.de/musst-nicht-entsch ... cm_pl_pg_t

And here's the German edition of Barbara's first book, Wishcraft, which is a very helpful book about how to discover your goals and achieve them:

Wishcraft. Lebensträume und Berufsziele entdecken und verwirklichen.
http://www.amazon.de/Wishcraft-Lebenstr ... 612&sr=1-1

If you're on Facebook, you can join a group for German speakers called "Ich bin ein Scanner." There are also some Germans in my Scanner Tribe Groups on Facebook and LinkedIn.

I think careers advice for young people is bad everywhere, not just in Germany. But there are several Barbara Sher Success Team Leaders and coaches in Germany who could give you some Scanner-friendly advice and help. Here are two of them:

http://www.erfolgsteams-online.de/

http://www.brittahilse.de/

Right now your main aim is to get through your last semester at University. That's a tough time for most students, and exams are scary. But think how far you've already come, and how soon you'll be free to do other things! There's probably no real reason for your fear.

I'm sure there are other people at your university who can help you. I know it's difficult to ask for help when you're shy, but try talking to your supervisors, student counsellors, fellow students, anyone who seems approachable, about your problems and fears.

Barbara's usual advice for students in your position is to find a study buddy, or even better, a group of other final year students who can study together and help each other. It's a very successful method.

Also you could see if there are any classes on revision techniques or exam skills. Or read some books or online advice about about it.

Could you get some old or example exam questions and practice answering them?

If your friend and/or family members are draining your energy at this stressful time, I think you have to just avoid spending time talking to them. Tell them you're too busy studying. Switch your phone off and don't answer it. Even if it feels mean. This is a crucial time for you.

You can be especially nice to them afterwards when it's all over and you're celebrating. It's probably not their fault. They just don't realise what's involved with getting a degree.

It might encourage you to know that I had a couple of young student friends who were scared and stressed out about their final exams, and were thinking of dropping out, but both of them succeeded in graduating. The one who was most scared got first class honours.
www.beyond-mountains.com
www.scannertribe.com
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Scanner Tribe group on LinkedIn
Twitter - @scannertribe
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