Wish to see mountains / ocean with family for first time.

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Wish to see mountains / ocean with family for first time.

Postby Jennifer623 » Sat Aug 20, 2016 7:04 pm

Hello! My name is Jennifer, and I live in rural KS. I had written off my dream because I feel selfish for even voicing it. But I know that my whole family will be happier if it happens, so here goes. I am in my mid thirties and have never seen the ocean or mountains. I do not want my kids to be in the same position, so…

MY WISH is to take them to the ocean and the mountains, not necessarily in the same trip. I would love to have at least a few days at each to allow them to learn, explore, and enjoy the beauty of the world. I would be happy if I was able to do at least one of these sometime in the next few years.

MY OBSTACLES:
1. Money is the big one. I homeschool because of my childrens’ medical conditions, so that limits my work options. I spend the day caring for them and teaching them (grades K, 4, & 9), and when they go to bed, I work. I teach online college classes. But, being an adjunct, they limit my work load significantly and my salary only averages to about $2 an hour (about $200/month). My husband works maintenance at a factory and works overtime every week so we can just squeeze by each month. We do not have enough extra money for a savings, let alone traveling. I just cannot figure out how to make this happen when we are both stretched so thin. We *might* be able to pay for gas, but we definitely cannot afford a place to stay. (I had someone mention house sitting, and I spent hours researching that. After reading what can go wrong, I am afraid I would not feel comfortable doing that with my kids in a stranger's home.)

2. The place we stay in must 1) have its own kitchen and 2) be close to emergency medical services. One of our children has a long list of food allergies, and we are unable to eat at any restaurants. I would need a kitchen to sanitize and use exclusively for preparing his meals. Due to his allergies and my other child’s epilepsy, we would have to be reasonably close to medical help, if needed. So, rural areas are probably a no-go.

3. My daughter has chronic migraines. One of her major triggers is riding in a vehicle. We have not tried the motion sickness bracelets, and I will definitely try them. But, we need a backup plan (or 3) if this does not work. It would be hell for her if they are not under control. Due to her epilepsy, she is cannot use certain treatments, such as motion sickness meds or essential oils.

So there it is. As silly as it sounds, I think doing this for my kids and enjoying a cup of coffee near the ocean or mountains would just sing to my soul. I would love to hear any ideas regarding the obstacles. Thank you for taking the time to read! :)
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Re: Wish to see mountains / ocean with family for first time

Postby inspiresuccess » Sat Aug 20, 2016 8:59 pm

Hi,

I have some questions. How far away do you live from a mountain or ocean? The distance might give us a better idea of the length of the trip and how you would need to travel and for how long. It sounds like you just want to stay a few days. Is that right?

Your kids medical issues are important so knowing the distance you're talking about might help us.

Yes, it sounds like a challenge, but it's not impossible. Barbara's books have helped so many of us do things that we never thought possible.

I don't have any ideas this evening but hopefully people here on the Boards will have ideas.

Thanks for having the courage to come here and put your dreams out there for all to see. That's a great first step!

Inspire
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Re: Wish to see mountains / ocean with family for first time

Postby Jennifer623 » Sat Aug 20, 2016 9:06 pm

Thanks for the reply. We are in rural Kansas, outside the Wichita area. Colorado is the state west of us, and I think it is an 8-10 hour drive to the Rockies. Otherwise, we are probably the same distance from the east and west coasts (about 1400 miles?). We may be a bit closer to the gulf in Texas though (800 miles).

I just finished Refuse to Choose. Since I am in a rural area, I do not know any other scanners or have a support team. I am grateful for these bulletin boards and scanner facebook groups. I am so ready to get started being unstuck.
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Re: Wish to see mountains / ocean with family for first time

Postby inspiresuccess » Sun Aug 21, 2016 2:36 pm

Check out the thread called " success teams Northern England...". Tim is thinking about starting his own success team. Maybe you could create one, too.

You are VERY FAR AWAY from the ocean! What about hanging out at a lake? Still a large body of water with the same peaceful watery sounds and sights.

The Rockies sound like a good goal for the mountains. 8-10 hours sounds doable.

I hope other folks visiting the Board will chime in with their suggestions for this wonderful dream of yours.

It might help to choose EITHER THE MOUNTAINS OR OCEANS first to have a more specific goal. Maybe the Rockies, since it seems more doable. Then once you've achieved that goal you can move on to the ocean goal. But it's up to you. Whichever you REALLY WANT the most. Go for it!

Inspire
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Re: Wish to see mountains / ocean with family for first time

Postby inspiresuccess » Sun Aug 21, 2016 3:56 pm

Hi Jennifer,

If you want to see the dream/goal I'm working on now, check out my thread in Success Stories -- Designing after 25 year break. I could use some support and mostly someone to hold me to some kind of time frame.
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Re: Wish to see mountains / ocean with family for first time

Postby Jennifer623 » Sun Aug 21, 2016 6:32 pm

Hi Inspire. I tried to reply earlier, but it doesn't look like it showed up. I will try again!

I agree, the mountains are much closer to us than the ocean. And, I am completely happy doing mountains OR ocean at this point. I guess I just left it open in case someone had a brilliant idea about one or the other. :)

Unfortunately, lakes are not a good option for us. Many nearby lakes are contaminated with toxic blue green algea, and people cannot touch or go near them. They are sometimes stinky, and there are no nice water sounds. They are also quite small, enabling one to see the other side easily. And there is no sand in which to play, just smelly mud usually. I would love to see/smell the ocean, even if it is only once. But, since mountains might be easier, I would be okay with putting the ocean on hold.

I visited Tim's thread. That is something to think about. Although, I am rather introverted and wonder whether leading a team would be up my alley. I prefer one-on-one or very small groups, preferably in which I am not the leader.

I also saw your thread and responded. What a great talent you have! I look forward to seeing your progress. :)
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Re: Wish to see mountains / ocean with family for first time

Postby inspiresuccess » Sun Aug 21, 2016 7:10 pm

Your local lakes sound icky! I was talking about Rocky Mountain Lakes. http://www.myrockymountainpark.com/expl ... es-rivers/
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Re: Wish to see mountains / ocean with family for first time

Postby Jennifer623 » Sun Aug 21, 2016 7:13 pm

Icky is an understatement. But those Rocky Mountain lakes look amazing!
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Re: Wish to see mountains / ocean with family for first time

Postby inspiresuccess » Tue Aug 23, 2016 4:55 pm

I realized I made a mistake here. I've read all of Barbara's books except Refuse to Choose. I skimmed it and decided I didn't need it. I have all the previous books so encoded in my brain that I don't need one more.

But here's my mistake. You're probably a skanner. I'm not. I'm a serial diver. I get intimated by trying to do more than one thing at a time. That's probably why I suggested you choose mountains or oceans to focus on first. That's what I would do -- get totally, obsessively focused on one or the other. After I did my deep dive into one,then I'd switch and deep dive into the other one. But that's me.

The book title that you read says it all -- REFUSE TO CHOOSE!

SO JUST IGNORE ME AND LOOK INTO BOTH AT THE SAME TIME! Have a blast. Do what you want!

I have one other suggestion that I think is a good one, but again it might just be me. When I want to go somewhere, it really helps to have visuals. What I did with the lake idea is google Rocky Mountain Lakes Images. You might want to do that with other places, the ocean, etc.

Another suggestion -- (all just suggestions! I get on a roll and keep going. Feel free to ignore!). If you belong to AAA, you could contact them, tell them where you want to go, and ask if they could send brochures.

Inspire

Okay. Now I will get back to working on my design project.
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Re: Wish to see mountains / ocean with family for first time

Postby Jennifer623 » Tue Aug 23, 2016 6:48 pm

Inspire,

Yes, I am a scanner. However, I know it is very unlikely that I will be able to do either. While I would like to do both, I think I will be exceedingly fortunate to even manage one, so I really am okay with focusing on one if it seems more doable than the other at this point. But sure, ideally we'd have enough money to buy a truck and RV to homeschool on the road and travel the country. But, realistically, that is probably never going to happen. (My family never vacationed, and my husband and I didn't even get a honeymoon. So, traveling is my dream--even if it is just a little traveling.)

It's funny you mention the visuals. I think it's a great idea. In fact, I probably do this TOO much. I am always looking up places, and I have ordered brochures from different places like Estes Park near the Rockies. I even look up houses in various cities on real estate websites. It is sort of depressing though, since I cannot seem to make it happen. The longing is okay to a point, but too much seems to be disheartening to me. I have the ambition and deep desire, just not the means yet. And, it is difficult to get the whole sensory experience from pictures and brochures.

While it is definitely not traveling, something I do enjoy is explore.org. Have you been there? There are live webcams from all over the world to choose and view. My favorite right now are the African cams. I love to hear and see the sunrise in Africa, a place I will probably never reach in real life. The kids and I have also watched bald eagles hatch and grow, a hummingbird hatch, an island full of grunting walruses, and Alaskan bears catching salmon. It is no substitute for traveling, but it is wonderful.

Anyway, I am hoping someone can help me with ideas about seeing the mountains and/or the ocean. I do not want my kids to reach my age and feel the way I feel about it. I am not sure how to make it doable and overcome the obstacles.

By the way, I am impressed with your progress, Inspire. It seems like you are frequently working on the project. That is so great!
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Re: Wish to see mountains / ocean with family for first time

Postby inspiresuccess » Tue Aug 23, 2016 7:03 pm

Hi Jennifer,

This a big dream that you have. That doesn't mean it can't happen.

I'm going to write another time and tell you a story about a mom who always wanted to travel and have her 4 kids go with her. She wanted to travel in the U.S. but her biggest dream was to go to Europe. I'll tell you the story when I have more time.

The website you mentioned that you watch with your kids sounds amazing. But I also know what it feels like to want to actual BE SOMEPLACE rather than LOOK AT someplace. There's a big difference.

I can hear your frustration and discouragement. Keep posting here. Remember what Barbara says -- baby steps, one step at a time, to finally get to that big dream.
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Re: Wish to see mountains / ocean with family for first time

Postby Jennifer623 » Tue Aug 23, 2016 7:25 pm

Thanks for the encouragement. It made me unexpectedly teary.
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Re: Wish to see mountains / ocean with family for first time

Postby SquarePeg » Wed Aug 24, 2016 11:07 am

Although I have no advice for you at this time, I do hope you can make it happen.

I can understand some of the limitations. Money, of course, is tough for me. We haven't gone anywhere on vacation for ten years. We've had medical bills for 15 years that made it difficult to save any money. We stayed solvent only because my mother died and left us money. Now I'm trying to put our daughter through college, plus replace the roof, which started leaking last year.

Our other issue is health-related. My wife is disabled and requires some special care. And she can have a "flare up" at any time. On the morning we were to fly to Florida, she woke up to find her hands in a painful claw-like spasm. Somehow we got an appointment with the backup rheumatologist and got some extra prednisone. But still, she spent about half the daytime in Florida in bed. That was also the trip during which one of our cats died.

Last, we're all on special diets. I need a Paleo-type diet (it's actually Blood Type diet for Type O), my daughter is vegan, and my wife follows an anti-inflammatory diet. It's hard enough while home preparing quality meals for all. But getting good food that's prepared properly in advance is extremely difficult.

That's all for now; sorry for rambling.
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Re: Wish to see mountains / ocean with family for first time

Postby inspiresuccess » Wed Aug 24, 2016 4:09 pm

Wow Square Peg,

You have had a lot of challenges like Jennifer and I think many of us who follow B. Sher.

I had a melt-down myself in my Quote for the Day thread about my books. I considered going back and deleting it but I decided to let it stay. Most of the quotes are humorous and I thought I'd leave it so people would know my life hasn't been just an endless series of chuckles. My humor keeps me going. And Barbara Sher's books have helped me over come many of my obstacles to make some of my dreams come true. There are many ways of getting past the obstacles that I never would have thought of, if I hadn't read Barbara's books.

And Jennifer, I still have that story to tell you about that mom I mentioned. Coming soon.

Inspire
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Re: Wish to see mountains / ocean with family for first time

Postby inspiresuccess » Fri Aug 26, 2016 4:46 pm

Jennifer,

Go to the Quote of the Day thread. I thought of you when I posted that quote.
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