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PostPosted: Tue Aug 24, 2004 11:13 am
by Starwriter
Jezicka wrote: [quote]I don't really know the answer to your question, but one thing that Barbara has recommended in several books is to act as if. How do you imagine you'd be if your parents had been your biggest fans? Think in very specific terms-- how you would carry yourself, what clothes you would wear, etc. Imagine you are an actor getting into character. Thanks, Jezicka, for this great idea. It sounds fascinating! I'm going to give it a try. I'm also going to set aside a whole day this week when I don't have any other committments to sort through the clutter. I think one reason the clutter builds up so fast is that I live in a very small apartment and there is only so much room to put it all away. I am an avid reader and my books have already outgrown the five bookcases I have. I've started stashing some of them under the bed! :idea: I just realized that if I put away some of the knickknacks on some of the shelves I'd have more room for books! Eureka! Of course, I run the risk of having my house resemble a library, but that's okay. I also have trouble going through the mail, deciding what I may need to keep, etc. I think it's a way of avoiding making decisions. But at least I can throw away stuff I haven't looked at in six months! The overweight problem is being addressed by a twelve-step program I joined over a year ago. It really does work as long as I don't let my own stubborn will get in the way, which I do occasionally. The debt problem is simply a matter of my not making enough money on disability to afford all the things I want. I just need to teach myself to stay within my budget ... or else! Thanks for all the helpful thoughts! Ellen :D

PostPosted: Tue Aug 24, 2004 1:39 pm
by audreyh1
Ahh - the books! Well you don't actually have to keep all the books you read. Maybe, once you have read a book, you can gift it to someone who could enjoy it too, and suggest that they pass it along likewise. That's really how you gain more room to have new books come into your life. Just a thought. Audrey

PostPosted: Wed Aug 25, 2004 6:10 am
by Minilee
And then, what about if a person bites her nails? Watches too much TV? Browses the internet too much? Skips gym sessions? Has a C in a college class? Doesn't eat all her pudding? There are so many things we can chalk up to \"low self-esteem\". We can beat ourselves up for just about anything. And when we do, it certainly doesn't solve our problems, or what we think are issues.

PostPosted: Fri Sep 24, 2004 5:15 am
by Tituba
Maybe it about staying in your comfort zone. We all have this place, behavior, that we are familiar with. Like what side of the bed we sleep on, or what hand we use to eat. If we change something, then it feels odd and we resist. Next time we look up, the clutter has returned.

PostPosted: Wed Nov 17, 2004 2:37 pm
by Tituba
Has anyone made any progress on this subject? It is the end of another year and not much has changed for me. Is it all theory and no action?

PostPosted: Wed Nov 17, 2004 4:10 pm
by joyous1
Tituba, it does seem like I'm in the same place as well. Still overweight, in debt, hate my job and living with massive clutter at this moment. In fact, after losing weight this past year, in the past 2 weeks I've packed back on at least 5 pounds and I feel yucky. Out of control, overwhelmed and angry. I'm trying to reduce my clutter down to what I can manage. Selling the house looks like it may be a nightmare from what the real estate agent said today. Plus, the house insurance people cancelled my policy today when I called to ask questions - very angry about that one. The clutter is mainly under control, just renovation stuff and moving stuff and taking on my new guy's large amount of collecting stuff and inability to simplify. And the job, well since we started at the new office, not going great, and with the wedding, there has been some jealousy from a co-worker making this an incredibly difficult place to be. And wedding and renovation debt is high at this moment too. I hate that I seem to be at the same place, fighting the same fight against the same things. I know in reality that my situation is quite different from a year ago, and not unconquerable, and in fact on the upswing. But at this moment, ugh! I bet your situation is similar, you've made inroads and changes and are actually in a different place from last year, it just seems ucky right now, n'est ce pas?

PostPosted: Wed Nov 17, 2004 4:37 pm
by Tricia56
I began serious decluttering in the late summer. Honestly I think the stuff reproduces its self. I cleaned and have 6 bags sitting by the door ready for the trash when it stops raining. Perhaps decluttering becomes an excuse to procrastinate in some cases? Hopefully by next Spring I will be really decluttered. Oprah is doing a declutter/cleaning show on Thursday.

PostPosted: Wed Nov 17, 2004 7:30 pm
by Tituba
joyous - yes, of course, many small changes this year. Ok, some big. But the REALLY BIG stuff, the stuff that has been in my New Year's Resolution list since the Partridge Family was on TV......all that stuff....still remains! Maybe I'm just seeing the glass half full.

Re: Clutter-Overweight-In Debt-Hate Job

PostPosted: Wed Nov 17, 2004 11:26 pm
by yinyangchi
Tituba wrote:For many people, they: live in clutter overweight in debt hate their jobs What do these have in common? What is the core issue? [This message has been edited by Tituba (edited March 28, 2004).]
All of those items were "built" into existence because of a desire to alleviate pain from uncomfortable experiences. They are all types of callouses. When we are injured slightly over extended periods of time the result is a callous. I have intentionally and unintentionally developed physical and emotional callouses. I am at a point in my life where I want to rid myself of these in order to be open to change.

PostPosted: Thu Nov 18, 2004 4:34 am
by quantumleap
Three out of four are currently giving me grief. I started tackling the weight issue - did really well, lost a stone, then got stuck, and have been stuck for weeks - currently struggling to find the motivation to get back on track. There is some bulky clutter to shift from the house - a sewing machine table, a set of weights, some speakers, and other stuff I need to sell. An unfinished DIY project has left two rooms in complete disarray and although I'm not really in debt, it's true to say that I've been far more careless than usual with my finances for the last couple of months and need to start watching myself. I know from past experience that once I start dealing with one issue, the others will become less scary - I probably just need a kick in the backside to get started. On the bright side, I don't currently hate my job. I've proactively got myself involved in some projects I enjoy, and it has made a difference. Work is busy, but in a good way! I think I'm going to start posting in step-by-step as a motivator - it can't do any harm!

PostPosted: Thu Nov 18, 2004 6:20 am
by Tituba
Ah, yes. Have you noticed? These issues are somehow connected with a thread and when you get work on one, the others seem to get better too? When you start exercising everyday, you also seem to pick up the clutter? Don't tolerate excess? Are more discriminating about purchases? you work on one and tip the scales on the other? Maybe I should stop looking at it as overwhelming, life-long tasks. Maybe breaking it down to baby steps and starting one and seeing if the others come along for the ride.....

PostPosted: Thu Nov 18, 2004 8:27 am
by quantumleap
I'm with you on the baby steps. It's so easy to look at the big picture and go into panic mode! Small positive movements do have a knock-on effect, I'm sure of it. When you start to tackle one thing, the others don't seem quite as insurmountable. It's just a question of doing that first thing to get the ball rolling!

PostPosted: Thu Nov 18, 2004 4:21 pm
by Aljernon
Check this out. This should make some of y'all feel a bit better about your own clutter problems. [WARNING -- there are a lot of pics on this page, so it could take a while to load ]

PostPosted: Fri Nov 19, 2004 2:24 pm
by joyous1
Just a little essay on stuff. I feel much better about my mom's situation after seeing her mother's situation. I always thought that some of those de-cluttering shows were exaggerating when they showed people's before rooms, but now I'm beginning to believe it. We as a nation are so overwhelmed by shopping and stuff. Add on it puts us into debt, distracts us from our life and makes us fat and it motivates me to do something about my situation (again). I tried to help my mom put a dent in her stuff (it does seem as she spends more time shopping, gets more stuff, hates her job that she gains even more weight and becomes even more depressed - what a vicious cycle) but she claims it is all good stuff. She is more open to sending it out the door when there is someone there with her asking her why she has it, if she loves it, what she intends to do with it, and how it is contributing to her life. I think sometimes people need a hand doing this with their lives. We are so used to doing everything ourselves, and it begs the question "How's it working for you?" Even my husband, when we were renovating and I was making him get rid of some stuff (total junk that he had meant to get rid of but hadn't got around to) with him kicking and fighting all the way saying I was making him get rid of everything, now says he feels much better knowing what he has, where it is, and not having so much extraneous stuff. This weekend we're tackling my kitchen and his box room. Oh my, the excitement. (I am getting darn tired of spending my life on stuff rather than on doing what I want, like dancing, learning spanish, or painting pictures - maybe this is the kick in the butt I need to finally and forever finish with these issues.)

PostPosted: Sat Nov 20, 2004 6:38 am
by audreyh1
(Haven't posted for a while - was having trouble accessing some websites) Folks feeling a little bummed about not making much progress this year? I sure remember a lot of activity - especially Tituba and Joyous. Methinks the glass is seen as half empty. Maybe review your posts and lists of things done. Yes, it's easy to get off track and feel overwhelmed. Are we trying to do too much, expect too much of ourselves or of the outcome? I got rid of a considerable amount of stuff this year. Drawers, closets and cabinets are no longer stuffed full. No miscellaneous piles of stuff on top of shelves/furniture. So in this respect I am living a much less cluttered life. I still have a lot of things to go - in particular the items that I need to sell and thus advertise somehow. But, we are making steady progress on our goal. We now know approximately when we will probably be moving out of the house, and will start to pack in earnest after the holidays. We plan to keep so little - most of the remaining household contents will be sold when we move out. I am so much less attached to my stuff than I was a year ago - and this is a huge step in itself. Audrey