Clutter-Overweight-In Debt-Hate Job

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Postby Moonracer » Thu May 12, 2005 4:56 pm

Rigel: So many of the things you said resonated with me. I am not in the same place in life as you are, but I feel much of what you feel. And I really "heard it" when you said:
I can say 'I have gotten all that I need from this book or this sweater. I'll let it go do what it's meant to do and sell or donate it so that someone else can have what they need or want.' This will create space in my life for the new "things' that I really need or want
I think you may have given me a tool I can really use. Thanks. And I wish for you the same, a great livelihood, that enables your talents to shine, fitness, health and a home filled with laughter. Joyous1: I have the same problem when it comes to family jewelry (costume, in my case). Could you approach your mom with the idea of giving the jewelry to another family member? Keeping it in the family, but not you? Maybe one of her grand kids? Or one of your cousins? Someone who'd really love it? And maybe you could point out that it's a shame that it's not being enjoyed by someone who'd really appreciate it? I couldn't sell it if it was a real heirloom, but that's just not me. But, if you really feel like it is all tainted, don't hold on to it. Try to give it to someone who would enjoy it. If that doesn't work, do what you need to do. If hanging on to it is weighing you down in some way, let it go. (Listen to me, I haven't been able to let go of my old magazines!!)
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Postby Elizabeth Bits » Thu May 12, 2005 9:20 pm

Joyous 1, What you do and IF you let go of your heirlooms is entirely up to you. If it has negative energy maybe at least store these things so you don't have to see them all the time. May I offer another idea to consider? I've recently been in touch with another woman in our "Sher" community who is living with chronic illness and seems to be doing all she can to be self-sufficient. She sells things on e-bay to cover the cost of her medication and living expenses. If this feels like it might be a good, positive place for some of your things, take a trip over to page 3 of Conservative vs. Liberal Viewpoints (General Discussion I think) for more information. I heard something one time that I thought was very profound. "Sometimes holding on holds us back." Made me think - and then clean out my garage! Good luck!
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Postby joyous1 » Thu May 19, 2005 7:12 am

Now that I am getting my clutter under control - okay, almost gone, I am on to incompletions. My house is a huge incompletion and a source of clutter itself. It is holding me back from doing what I now want to do. So renovations will proceed next week and then the house will be sold. Then I will have no clutter, no debt, still be overweight and out of shape, and dislike my job. But two out of four ain't bad! Thanks for the suggestions about the jewelry, for now I am sitting on it, but its in the "to do something with it box" - one step away from me, I think it needs some time to sink in that I am going to be free of it no matter what, but not yet ready to dispose of it. Just recently I have realized that after environmental clutter and stuff is cleared, I will then have to deal with my physical self clutter, emotional clutter and mental clutter. Now there's the kickers! Those are scary scary things. Yet having reached a point where I am almost totally free of clutter and almost current in my day to day life, I'm hoping that knowing I could accomplish that will give me courage to tackle the other stuff. Last night I thought about the overweight thing. I have been on a candida diet that is not going well, I am not feeling better, I am in fact feeling worse. I called the doctor and he said that's very odd, you should be feeling much better by now. He suggested I eat something I was craving and I told him I wasn't craving anything, I just didn't want to be restrictive with myself and food anymore, it gave food too much power. And after I got off the phone, I thought about this. I think after the past three months doing the fast, on another anti-candida diet, and then this one, I am losing my obsession with food as a comforter. Its almost like food is becoming just a part of my life and not something secretive or shameful. This is new, almost like how I was before all the crap started when I was young. So I was thinking about it and I realized I am keeping the weight on because I am angry. And basically I refuse to allow anyone to see me or use me as a pretty thin woman - almost like saying "Screw you, this is my body and you can't have it" by staying fat. I know, self-defeating, yet the only way I could have control over men's stares or words or gestures or ways they acted. I have the power to be less attractive. And I've decided I don't need to hurt myself and keep myself safe this way anymore. This is the body I have for life and I want it to continue with me for a long time, strong and capable. So I think I need to do alot of journalling along this line. Then who knows? The job thing might be next on the agenda.
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Postby Moonracer » Thu May 19, 2005 10:49 am

Joyous1, you have made incredible progress! I really mean that. Imagine how many more years you could have wasted under the weight of all that "stuff". It is a long, long journey, but you are more than halfway there! I am very, very proud of you for recognizing your problems and being strong enough to solve them. You are a much better woman than I. But you are an inspiration for me, so there's hope yet! Thank you for sharing your progress.
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Postby Day Owl » Thu May 19, 2005 5:33 pm

Joyous1, your paragraph about your jewelry box really resonated with me. I had my late mother's engagement and wedding rings for several years and didn't know what to do with them. Whenever I looked at them they always brought back bad memories. Finally I thought I would sell the diamond to a jeweler who specializes in vintage items. I took it to her and she kindly said it was a "sweet" ring but the stone was so small she didn't think she could move it along. So I brought it home and put it away, out of sight. Next chapter? My son began courting a lovely woman. He was and is on a strict budget. I offered him the rings, not even mentioning that they have bad associations for me, since he is free of them. He was ecstatic and was very happy to offer the diamond to his fiancee. She loves the diamond and is thrilled to be wearing his grandmother's ring (she is very traditional and family-minded). I am so grateful to the jeweler who turned it down (one day I'll visit her shop and tell her so). Is there a moral to this tale? I'm not sure, except that when one is uncluttering, sometimes the Universe helps in strange ways.
Day Owl "Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle" -- Abraham Lincoln
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Postby audreyh1 » Sun May 22, 2005 12:44 pm

Day Owl wrote: My son began courting a lovely woman. He was and is on a strict budget. I offered him the rings, not even mentioning that they have bad associations for me, since he is free of them. He was ecstatic and was very happy to offer the diamond to his fiancee. She loves the diamond and is thrilled to be wearing his grandmother's ring (she is very traditional and family-minded). I am so grateful to the jeweler who turned it down (one day I'll visit her shop and tell her so). Is there a moral to this tale? I'm not sure, except that when one is uncluttering, sometimes the Universe helps in strange ways.
I think the moral of the story is that sometimes some object with bad associations can be "reborn" with good associations as I'm sure that ring does for you now with your soon-to-be daughter-in-law wearing it. Audrey
I have uncluttered my life and I now live my dream full-time!
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Postby Day Owl » Sun May 22, 2005 1:40 pm

Good point, audreyh1. "Reborn" -- I like that word and the concept. It makes we wonder how many other items (things, bits of stuff) can be similarly reborn as we release them?
Day Owl "Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle" -- Abraham Lincoln
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Postby Tituba » Tue May 24, 2005 5:37 pm

It makes we wonder how many other items (things, bits of stuff) can be similarly reborn as we release them?
That makes we wonder how many feelings can be healed and we become reborn when we release them?
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Postby audreyh1 » Sat May 28, 2005 12:07 pm

Tituba wrote:
It makes we wonder how many other items (things, bits of stuff) can be similarly reborn as we release them?
That makes we wonder how many feelings can be healed and we become reborn when we release them?
Oh, I think releasing things brings tremendous closure. I know the wonderful feelings of closure I have experienced giving things away - and these weren't even things with "bad" feelings associated with them. So I can only imagine how healing it must be to find a new use or home for something that brings painful reminders. Audrey
I have uncluttered my life and I now live my dream full-time!
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Postby joyous1 » Mon May 30, 2005 8:56 am

A little discouraged. I had Tuesday/Wednesday/Thursday off work last week to do renovations and found I am still highly resistant to it. So after much pretending that its not there, I tackled the garage and took a car load to Goodwill (hopefully my last, I've gotten rid of so much that I don't think there's anything more to go), dropped off a bunch of books at the library to either put into their collection or add to their book sale, put out a full bag of recycling and had Habitat for Humantity come pick up good renovation supplies I will not be using, and put a bunch of other stuff out back of the garage with a free sign on it. So that's all gone and I feel much freer. That garage has been hanging over my head for years. All that fear and worry and anxiety. But the garage is still not finished, its about 80% done, and its still rankling in my mind and I'm obsessing over finding the time to finish it so that I can truly be free. I need to go in and finish the clean up and get rid of the rest of the wood and renovation supplies. For those of you who follow feng shui, it is in my romance/love section of my property and I've certainly noticed we are getting along in the last few days much better now that it is almost empty and clean ;) And I'm almost ready to do the renovations that are needed before I can put the house up for sale. I found someone had tried to break into my house when I was locking the door the other day and thought \"what idiot would pick my house?\" First of all its tiny and no one looking at it would think \"my, I bet there is great treasure in there\" and secondly, there is absolutely NOTHING of value in my home anymore. I've mostly disposed of everything. I don't have a TV, I have a tiny old CD player and very few CDs, and other than a few clothes, that's it. My treasure is my dog. I decided I don't want to own anything worth stealing. Jewellry, expensive anything just means worrying it could get wrecked, stolen, etc. So it didn't bother me too much seeing the door had been jimmied. I wonder if the dog woke up and barked and scared them away? Unfortunately, while clearing clutter and taking care of unfinished business and loose ends is progressing and I'm feeling much better, my money situation has kind of plummeted and I seem to be spiralling down debt wise again plus I've gained about 5 lbs in the last week. Weird, I don't understand this. Wouldn't it follow that as I clean up my life, everything else falls into place? I went to the alternative doctor again last weekend and he worked on a couple of areas of my life that caused me to have very different thoughts than usual. I read somewhere we have about 60,000 thoughts a day and about 90% of them are the same old repetitive junk we usually think. Well, I had this thought that maybe my mind can control everything, that through my thoughts I can create any kind of life I want, that my thoughts are in control and my world is created by what my thoughts are. Very freaky for me. Another thing was I realized how very timid I am in life, I am afraid of adventures, afraid of being alone (dogs and cats mean I am not alone), and have very little flexibility and courage. I lead a very limited, sheltered life. And the doctor said my thought patterns are such that I make everything seem very hard and much bigger than it is. And I was not pleased with these realizations. I'm trying not to be mad at myself over this, as I know that these were all established very early in life when I realized it was not safe to risk anything and that violence could happen anytime to me and I was not physically or emotionally safe. But I'm ready to let these limiting behaviours and thoughts go. I just am not sure how. As the doctor said, \"its a process\". Breathe, relax, let expectations go.
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Postby Tituba » Mon May 30, 2005 11:03 am

Another thing was I realized how very timid I am in life, I am afraid of adventures
Jeez joyous....that isn't at all true. You married a man you knew less than a year. That is a big leap of faith and not for the timid.
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Postby WaitingForPCH » Tue May 31, 2005 10:50 am

joyous1 wrote:there is absolutely NOTHING of value in my home anymore. I've mostly disposed of everything. I don't have a TV, I have a tiny old CD player and very few CDs, and other than a few clothes, that's it. My treasure is my dog. I decided I don't want to own anything worth stealing.
You are my hero and inspiration. I've gotten rid of (or am in the process of) about 90% of my stuff and don't miss it at all, and could probably easily do the last 10% too if I tried hard enough. But I truly envy you having so few possessions now. Oh the things I could do, the places I could go if everything I owned fit in my car! It's just such an EFFORT the physical aspect of getting it gone, isn't it? Whether donating or selling it.
As the doctor said, "its a process". Breathe, relax, let expectations go.
Yeah, that confuses me too. First of all, like most things, easier said than done. Plus, docs and books and such tell us WHAT to do, but not HOW. And then there's that dilemma: should we let expectations go, or should we expect that which we want...in a "thoughts become things" kinda way? First they say to get rid of all expectations, then they say what you focus on will be what you attract into your life. That's a frustrating mixed message.
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Postby Elizabeth Bits » Fri Jun 10, 2005 5:33 pm

Hello Joyous, I posted this to someone else - a theme for the day perhaps. I found that at one point, years and years ago, I was always thinking very negative thoughts. I'd take the wrong exit and tell myself I was an idiot and just beat the crap out of myself for weeks over it. Every time I made a mistake, it was monumental and earth shattering. I went in for some cognitive-behavioral work and learned how to change my thinking. Sometimes we're just not even aware of our thoughts. Once we get in touch with them, we can begin to work on changing them to be positive and affirming. The Celestine Prophesy deals with our influence on the world around us (at least that seems to be how it starts. I start books, then another, then another, so...) and the movie "What the Bleep" talks about how thoughts are things and we do create our own reality. Of course, everyone else is also creating their realities too. It really is an incredible thing. They present it as very positive and good. Let us know how you are doing. It sounds like you've done an incredible job getting things de-cluttered! That's monumental and very impressive!
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Postby willow » Sun Oct 09, 2005 12:56 pm

Just wondering if anyone has been able to tackle these areas all at once? Or, do you have to get rid of the clutter and then the debt and then the weight?
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Postby expatana » Sun Oct 09, 2005 1:47 pm

No, I no longer believe that your thoughts create your realities. If that were the case, there's quite a few things in my own life that would be radically different. Recently I was really working on my thoughts, because I figured: What the heck? It couldn't hurt, right? I mean, I still do agree with that notion. But nothing good ever happened, either. I've come to the conclusion that, in spite of any thoughts and wherever they may go, I am here, in this godforsaken place, in these circumstances, or worse, for the rest of my life. Nothing's ever going to happen because I just don't have the resources. Period. Ana
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