Clutter-Overweight-In Debt-Hate Job

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Postby serialdreamer » Mon Oct 10, 2005 7:32 am

Anthony Robbins was living in a basement apartment doing his dishes in the bathroom sink and had absoloutely nothing to his name before he got to where he is now, Ray Charles went blind and still followed a career in music, look at Helen Keller ! There are many many examples of disabled people who make things happen despite all odds.... There are many examples of poor who become rich sick people who go on to accomplish amazing things! I am becoming convinced that your greatest resource is your state of mind and you do control it - it does take hard work and discipline but it is possible. Just my thoughts.
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Postby expatana » Mon Oct 10, 2005 12:04 pm

No, I've never seen any real evidence that that's the case. The time comes when you have to start seeing things happen in front of you, or the thoughts don't matter. Robbins, Charles and Keller are three in a billion. Then there's the rest of us ....... Ana
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Postby Scenario Thinker » Mon Oct 10, 2005 12:20 pm

I kinda agree with Ana. First of all, we are sort of obsessed with "making it", being famous or rich in this country. So, you know the stories of Michael Jordan, Oprah, and the other ones mentioned, and many of us think we can ALL make it, if only we try hard enough. Nada. If we all made it, how would that work? Billions of us walking around rich and famous? It can't happen. I think statistically, there are always going to be a few that have persevered and risen to the cream of the crop. It just happens to be the ones that have stuck it out, had some good luck, and remain uninjured, kinda knew what they wanted very early on, etc. A multitude of things came together to produce the success of that person. On the other hand, I know from personal experience, there is a mind-set and confidence that helps greatly in achieving goals. It's sort of a quite confidence where you just KNOW you are going to accomplish things. It's not a rah, rah, wooopty whooo, it's just, this is what I'm going to do, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to make it happen. I think the secret is to have that "thing" be something that is the genuine YOU. When it's not your dream, it's a lot less likely to happen. So, what's the main problem? Many don't know what they want, don't know themselves intimately enough. Anyhow, that's my quick take on it.
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Postby expatana » Mon Oct 10, 2005 12:35 pm

Scenario Thinker has the measure of it. That's what I was really trying to say: You must have determination (well, mostly) to make it, but determination is not enough. Some luck had to be there, too. And most of us are not actively trying to become rich and famous. For me, that would be the real cherry on the top. Some of us are just trying for a particular dream that is very hard to get. Period. After 25 years, I don't see mine as happening without having a good, reliable portable income. I don't have to be a millionaire but the income has to be quite good to satisfy a government. That's me. What about you? How many of you really want to be rich and famous? Or are most of us really going for a gold that will be gold with or without fame or great riches. Ana
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Postby serialdreamer » Mon Oct 10, 2005 1:08 pm

"Nada. If we all made it, how would that work? Billions of us walking around rich and famous? It can't happen" Why can't it happen? You know, I don't know where optimism is coming from today - BUT 1) At one point they thought an airplane would never fly 2) At one point they thought the phone would never sell, it was a useless invention that was a waste of time - now we all have at elast one if not two or three. 3) Was there a point where they thought would never cure the plague, scurvy or polio? 4) At one point women thought they couldn't vote, own property or become doctors 5) At one point they man could never go into outer space The list goes on and on and on- If a man could build an airplane against all odds surely I can find my way out of this black hole I have crawled into - If a man missing a leg from cancer could run across country to raise money ( I am not sure what part of that sory involves any luck....he had a dream and he made it happen) surely I can pay off my student loans. If a blind man ( I am not sure what part of that story involves luck? )can follow his dreams surely I a perfectly healthy woman can follow mine. My thoughts. serial.
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Postby expatana » Mon Oct 10, 2005 1:27 pm

Sorry honey, but those stories indeed involved some luck as well as determination. I'd be arrogant to think they didn't. Back to us. I speak only for myself as always, and I say it again: If dogged determination alone was sufficient to reach a dream, I'd have reached mine by now. Several times over. I remind myself always, and sometimes my friends if necessary, that I was in the end no armchair dreamer: I was the girl who gave it all up and went for it. Well, it failed. Steely determination and the willingness to give up whatever I had to ... Ana
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Postby Scenario Thinker » Mon Oct 10, 2005 8:09 pm

Serial, Very true examples, but it's the same thing. Change is sometimes painfully slow, but eventually, someone, somewhere, somehow makes a breakthrough, involving determination, luck, knowhow and skill from the many people in the world trying all kinds of things. I guess all I'm saying is the difference between the amazing things humankind does, versus the amazing things each of us individually do. One of us may someday to something significant for humankind, but the main thing is to do something significant for oneself.
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Postby Tituba » Mon Oct 10, 2005 8:20 pm

but the main thing is to do something significant for oneself
Well said Scenario! For instance, there is a huge difference between being interested in change and committed to change. When you are interested in losing weight, you do alot of reading and talking about it. When you are committed, you are at the gym no matter what. You don't clear the clutter or get out of debt, lose weight etc. to create some sort of magical event. You attend to these areas because it will make your life easier, cleaner, healthier and free.
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Postby serialdreamer » Tue Oct 11, 2005 5:08 am

I don't think these examples of people necessarily set out to change the world, they just had a dream that went national so they are the ones I know about. So I agree with you Scenario the key is doing something for yourself because you never know where it may take you. Whether it goes down in history or not was never the point - the point was they over came ginormous obstacles to see their dreams realised. I am pretty sure they would not have had any luck had they given up, only day dreamed about their venture or despaired about how difficult things were. I am beginning to believe luck is found, when you knock on a thousand doors, talk about what you want to as many people as you can until you are blue in the face. I believe luck is the reuslt of determination and manifestation - not the proverbial apple falling on your head. serial
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Postby Scenario Thinker » Tue Oct 11, 2005 5:39 am

Tituba wrote: ... there is a huge difference between being interested in change and committed to change. When you are interested in losing weight, you do alot of reading and talking about it. When you are committed, you are at the gym no matter what.
Yes, commitment and consistency.
serialdreamer wrote:I don't think these examples of people necessarily set out to change the world, they just had a dream that went national so they are the ones I know about.
Right. And we hear about the few people that rise to the very top in whatever the thing is, and there's only that few we hear about, at least nation/world-wide for example. There are countless others right behind them, and even more doing their own thing and not caring if it brings fame or fortune.
serialdreamer wrote: ... the key is doing something for yourself because you never know where it may take you. Whether it goes down in history or not was never the point - the point was they over came ginormous obstacles to see their dreams realised.
Right.
serialdreamer wrote:I believe luck is the reuslt of determination and manifestation - not the proverbial apple falling on your head.
I think Richard Bolles says organizing your luck.
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Postby expatana » Tue Oct 11, 2005 9:27 am

Ok, well, I'm not going to argue the point forever; it's not worth it. And if someone truly believes they can make it in whatever they're trying for, far be it for me to deny them that belief. I admire that belief. Wish I had kept it. But evidence indicated otherwise. You see ... I knocked on those proverbial thousand doors; I told absolutely everyone I ran into, for years, what I was after (in one way or another as courtesy demanded); I gave up my life for something better, trusting that the Universe would provide it since I had done what I could. And it didn't happen. In any form. In short, what if you have done everything ... where is the evidence that I should continue believing that "determination" will do it? So .... that's my take. Even after all that, even though I no longer believe in serendipity, Providence, etc., because it didn't happen for me after I had done everything ...... I still try to figure out a way to make things happen ..... in some form. Have a good day, Ana
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Clearing clutter

Postby paralegalgirl » Tue Oct 11, 2005 9:48 am

All this discussion got me rolling. I cleared out three huge bags of clothes (left over from when my mom died two and half years ago) and old sheets and stuff. I worked from 4 in the morning until just a while ago putting together sets of sheets and pillow cases for the rooms upstairs. My twin brothers come to stay for the holidays, and it's a little like running a bread and breakfast here. Okay, I've cleared out some space. Now what? I feel like there's a big space to get depressed. I could work on a writing project for legal writing class. Usually I like to study at this one coffee shop, but there's an idiot who studies there. That's the problem with this whole city. It's very unfriendly. Most of the people who live here have never left, and they're boring. There's nowhere to go but shopping malls. I'm sick of looking for jobs. People should be thrilled to have me because I went out and got the experience, but instead they act like they're conducting some sort of investigation. I've been in the same rut for years. Sure I can clear out the clutter, and then what? paralegalgirl
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Postby joyous1 » Tue Oct 11, 2005 10:04 am

Do you have clutter, are you overweight, are you in debt, do you hate your job? I was re-reading the first post in this link again. I have raged against these things at different times. Wanting them to be fixed, for things to be perfect, to be the way I want them. But now I'm starting to think that I need to accept. That things are the way they are. There is nothing bad or good about that. Simply that they are. The only thing I have control over is my attitude. Now this is extremely difficult. No arguing with that. I was in New York City on a trip a couple of weeks ago and I would get lost, be going the wrong direction, couldn't find the cross street, or the subway line I wanted was halted for a mechanical problem, every day, several times a day. The first day I went crazy over this and was very grumpy and irritated. Then I realized I only get to pass this way once and to enjoy it, no matter what was happening. And I kept getting lost, and finding other nifty places instead. I went to a restaurant I had dreamed about for years, the waiters were rude, the service appalling, and the food was mediocre and overpriced, the place had declined, yet I enjoyed myself immensely watching people, and just being there in this place I had dreamed about. Yes, that was a trip for fun, and I went into debt for it, but enjoyed it alot. Never mind that I threw up all over myself getting off the plane, broke my sunglasses just before the Yankees game when I'm blind in the sun, dripped olive oil on my new white shirt, that my husband called me in NYC and told me my dog was missing. It was all part of the experience. I'm now trying to apply this to my job that I totally hate. There are bright spots in it, and I'm trying to concentrate on those, as I can't change the situation right now as there is too much other stuff going on. And my weight, well, that pissed me off when I was trying so hard to lose weight before the trip and nothing was happening! I think it was a sign, don't hit your head so hard against the wall - its not a priority and until you learn to like your body and yourself, its not going to change. Sometimes it takes me a while to get the message and I'm hoping to be more open to hearing (and quicker too!) and better able to interpret. The clutter took years to eliminate and now I get the challenge of living with a clutter collector. Meanwhile, I am trying to live this moment - appreciate the fact there was no frost on my window and a lovely sunrise instead of being upset about having to take my beloved dog into the vet again. Appreciate that my body could lift and tote this weekend getting the yard and outside house into order for selling rather than that my diagnosis of this chronic disease was re-confirmed and yes, I hurt. That travelling is on hold for the next couple of years until my dog passes away as between the two of them, though I love travelling and want to go, my dog wins out. I read a interview with Rob Zombie while I was on the plane and it hit home. He said (paraphrased by me) that he was trying to stop worrying, if the plane was going down, instead of screaming, might as well enjoy the ride, cause there's nothing you can do about it. It all comes down to, what is life really about? Are we entitled to have what we want simply because we're lucky enough to be born with certain freedoms and money? Should we not be glad simply to live someplace where we have the freedom to dress as we want, worship as we want, choose who we love, get an education, health care, and be free of various persecutions?
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Postby expatana » Tue Oct 11, 2005 11:04 am

joyous1: I agree with everything in your last statement except the part about health care. We don't get health care in the U.S. unless we can pay for it. I cannot and neither can millions of others here. Ok, pedalfaster, what a posting! The last thing I want is to influence someone in a negative way. I'd rather influence in some positive way. I can't help what I believe. But everyone arrives at their beliefs in different ways. My question about how I could continue believing in Providence when I see otherwise was at least partly rhetorical. But pedalfaster, when you said to the Universe, "Show me the money!," you said the exact same thing I said to the Universe after I was forced back from Spain the first time, broke and wondering what happened to the great dream I gave up my life and home for. I said, "I did the footwork .... now show me the money!!" Since my first Japan stint happened right after that, I thought that was the answer the Universe was giving me, since I did make good money there and was able to save. But it was not nearly enough. I did keep getting sick there (on the first stint), so I came to the conclusion that that was not the answer the Universe was giving me. The Universe had denied me any answer so I no longer believe in it. joyous1, I do agree wholeheartedly with what you say also. I know I should appreciate what I have now. I have a roof over my head (someone else's house), food, all five senses, a brain (to start with), then the few material things: a car to drive, some money in the bank. It's more than most people in the world. After a long time without it, as I had paid an enormous sum to my credit cards last year after my mother's passing, I am once again in a little debt, about $700. Well, that's a lot to me and I don't want it to increase. It's going to this month at least, as I can only pay partially this time so I'll have finance charges again. I am indeed overweight and I must lose weight before I apply to Japan again. Clutter? Some but it's manageable as I have only a rented room. I work as a sub teacher which I do not hate but I ask the Universe for .... what else? MONEY! Ok, more on this? Ana
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Postby joyous1 » Tue Oct 11, 2005 12:16 pm

I hope I never give the impression that I'm preaching, that my way or my thoughts are "the" way. Far from it, I think we're all stumbling around and sometimes we find something that works for us and we share it with others in the hope that it may help someone else's journey. About money? Well... that's a biggie and a hard one. All I know right now is, my dog is in pain and I'm gonna charge whatever it takes to make her comfortable and then after deal with the debt. And never grudge a moment cause she's that important. I spend on my pets, and my house renos, rarely on me. So that trip I went on was huge for me, to spend money I didn't have on going. Right now I have the most debt I've had in over a decade and it kinda freaks me out, but its going to be settled when the house sells. Alot of it is from the renovations, but I needed for me to finish the house and make it perfect. And its worth it to me, its changing some of the ways I feel about myself and thats important to me. My husband kept urging me to sell it as is, but for my emotional health, I needed to do this. He accepted this a while ago but doesn't understand. My first year anniversary is next Friday. If anyone had told me what my life would be like a few years ago, this is not what I would have imagined at all. And I'm not sure this is what I wanted, but I do know that life without him now is unimaginable and I am constantly impressed by him. Still, we have terrible fights. But I thought I'd have to lose weight before I even started dating, and this is a man who thinks I'm beautiful right now. So, who knows how or what the universe holds in store for us? And I was working at two jobs I hated and have now let go of one and am working at that with him saying that once the other house is sold and we have settled in, I have the leeway to search for something that may not pay as much but will make me happier. And over the last few years as I divested myself of a ton of stuff, I am amazed at how different I am in my personality although I did not know it at the time I was going through the process (and how long and painful and just dragging on forever it seemed). You know I'm still not really doing any of my dreams - I'm not writing or painting but I discovered a new love a month ago when I landscaped the house and just fell head over heels in love with all of it - the digging, the getting rid of the grass, the active tedious everything of it. And now I'll be moving to a 3 acre acreage with so many opportunities to landscape. Who knew this was going to happen? Of course, these are mostly positives, because for every plus there seems to be a minus too. Yet I try and focus on the positives as I work with alot of soul-sucking complainers and negative people and I've found I really dont' want to be like them. And I could, so easily, where I work. Something else that really grabbed my attention was a song by Tim McGraw I heard by accident a little while ago - Live Like You Were Dying (I think its called). Wow!
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