Clutter-Overweight-In Debt-Hate Job

This is the place for postings unrelated to action toward achieving dreams-- Emotions, World Events, Hobbies, Trivia & other important but not directly relevant matters. Muse, meditate, mope or ponder & enter other forums when you're ready to get moving.

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paralegalgirl
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We tolerate too much

Post by paralegalgirl »

Taking paralegal classes and reading the law has been eye opening. Half the problems we label child psychology problems are probably actually adult felonies. For instance threatening someone physically is an assault, hitting them is assault and battery. There's a tort called intentional infliction of emotional distress. Exposing children to nudity is a felony sexual assault. Maybe what is needed in the school system is less school psychologists and more lawyers specialized to defend the rights of children. paralegalgirl

Tituba
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Post by Tituba »

Annie-Sophie - Para - if you started a new thread on this subject, you'd get more responses. I'm not sure what your posts have to do with clutter-overweight-in debt.

WaitingForPCH
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Post by WaitingForPCH »

Tituba wrote:U.S. material wealth leads to clutter By Joseph B. Verrengia, AP Science Writer | October 22, 2005
That was a really interesting article Tituba. That was most appropo how they compared clutter to the obesity epidemic. Audrey! Always good to see you pop in! How's life on the road? Paper is actually the one area I'm doing pretty well with, now that I have my files down from 8 full cabinet drawers to less than 2, and of those it's only local or active files: housing, utilities, pets, medical, etc. I do the mail as it comes in: I schedule the first hour after I get home in the evenings to sit down and do it: look through it, pitch it, and in the case of bank statements or bills that need to be paid, file them immediately. Magazines I finished quite awhile ago. It took a few nights of doing only this, but I skimmed through each issue so that I felt like I wasn't "wasting" them, and then promptly ripped each issue in half and recycled it so that I couldn't pull it back out of the trash. And it turns out that most of the ads and info in them were so outdated that they were essentially useless anyway, or else I was no longer interested in the topics inside. It's the same thing I found with all the Internet printouts too: if I need the info at a later date, I can most likely find it again, and updated. Ditto recipes: I kept a handful of my mom's favorite recipes and a few of my faves, and pitched the rest. If I need to make something on the fly, I can find a recipe online or in a library book. If I find a recipe in a magazine, I clip it out, stick it to my cabinet door, and make it immediately at which time I decide if it's a keeper or if it gets recycled. I don't even do this that often since I don't cook much anymore. I decided I enjoy eating more than cooking. :wink: The only subscription I get now is TV Guide, but I don't think I'm going to renew because I don't care for all the changes they've done the past few years, and now the larger format. I can get local listings at Yahoo, but it was just kind of a hassle to do that.

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Post by Tituba »

I stopped getting TV Guide when it went to $2.49 an issue. You can get the listings at http://www.tvguide.com/listings I was clipping out coupons from the Sunday paper when I realized that I cut them out, forget to bring them to the store and have a pile of them I have to go through and toss. The only magazine subcription I have is \"O.\" However, I've noticed that many times the new issue arrives and I haven't read the old one.

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Post by audreyh1 »

Hi Waiting! I am doing great on the road. We have pretty high-speed (and free) WiFi at our current RV park, so I'm on-line a little more often. The internet really saved my behind on recipes. Of all the books I collected, cookbooks were the biggest category. I enjoy reading cookbooks and browsing recipes. But as you all know, collecting recipes can result in a lot of clutter to manage. A few years ago, I noticed that I tended to go online to find a recipe. It was easier to search than going through my books, and I often found lots of variations of a given recipe and could combine them to create "my" version of the dish. So, once again, the internet saves me from my information clutter. My buying of cookbooks pretty much slowed to a halt at that point, and I was able to get rid of many of them. Somehow I managed to only bring about 8 cookbooks along for the motorhome. Pretty amazing for me. I think I started out with 6, but somehow collected a couple more (naughty, naughty). Oh, and I have a small accordion folder that holds laminated printouts of our favorite household recipes. This makes it really easy to use the individual recipe in the kitchen. This has been working well for me. I use MasterCook for entering recipes in the computer. But I pretty much only enter it if it has been tested and "approved" - i.e. we both like it and expect to make it again. Then I only print it out and laminate it if truly has become a family favorite (i.e. we make it often). Audrey
I have uncluttered my life and I now live my dream full-time!

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Post by joyous1 »

Oh yes, recipes are a biggie for me too. I've done some major paper purges and end up throwing out all the recipes I'd printed out from the internet or photocopied from a library book but never used. And yet, here I am, staring at a pile again and wondering if I even need to organize them or should I just kibosh them right now? I have several cookbooks which I have used over the years over and over and really, if I did need a specific recipe, could use the internet now that I have a husband with a computer. Once again, I think its just the possibilities that the recipes hold, because I usually cook a core of 10 - 14 dishes that we both like and that don't even need a recipe. And when I do experiment with something new, we can decide then and there if its a keeper or not. I did a bunch of papers last week so I'm almost on top of them, its the AGAIN part that gets me. Must figure out a way to deal with papers that works for me so that I'm not dealing with piles ever again. That article was very interesting. I'm sure part of the problem we have is that no one ever taught us how to manage a household. It was not one of the things taught at school which would be highly useful in living. About stuff and debt: I went wild last week and went shopping to buy a pair of pants to wear to the anniversary dinner as I don't have dressy stuff and I've gained weight so it wasn't fun. Then we didn't go so now I have to take them back as I have no real occasion to wear them. While I was there, I also bought 3 tops and another pair of pants (to fit the larger size me) but yesterday I got totally disgusted with myself and decided that I will try eating intentionally again and lose weight so I tried on the pants and decided no, I will just make do with the crap I have until I can fit into my nicer clothes (one size down). Then I looked at the boots I bought, simply cause I wanted something new and they looked good on me, but I don't think they're necessary. Its not like these things would make any kind of dent in my debt, but by having them, I have more stuff, am less streamlined and it seems the less stuff I have, even though I get bored of wearing the same clothes every week, the more manageable my life seems as I don't have to think about it. I may just take them all back. I think my stress level might have to do with my decision making process. My dog's care level is complicated right now, and so it feels like I need to balance that out by having other areas of my day to day life less complicated. I don't know if I'll ever be balanced. It feels like all I'm ever doing is reacting, running around slapdash rather than choosing, rather than having the time or opportunity to be pro-active. When the house is finished and sold, then I'll have no debts. I wonder if that will cascade over and suddenly my clutter (okay, so I'm pretty low on the clutter thing but still its an ongoing battle) and my weight will change.

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Post by Cha! »

Hi everyone, I'm relatively new to this board but I've seen this post every time I've logged on and finally sat down and read all 15 pages! This is really an interesting and thoughtful discussion. It's remarkable that it's still going strong more than a year and a half after it was started. I struggle with some of the same things and have found some success in some of the areas. The biggest problem for me has been clutter. I was some-what of a pack rat but that is beginning to change. Right now I am going through my parents' house, where they lived for 30+ years and never once cleaned it out. It was literally filled from the rafters to the basement with all kinds of great stuff. My parents had great taste and have some really lovely pieces. It makes me sad, not only be be going through their stuff and having to dispose of it, but because they had all this great stuff and never had (or took ... not sure which) the opportunity to enjoy it. I recently found a full set of absolutely beautiful Fostoria crystal that my mother loved. She apparently was afraid to use it and never enjoyed it because it was stored in the attic, wrapped in newspaper from 1959. It breaks my heart to think of my parents working so hard to acquire these things and not using or enjoying them, and perhaps not even remembering they had them. I found duplicates of things stored in various places because they forgot about or couldn't find the original and just bought another one instead. I would give anything to turn back time and let them enjoy their things. But, I can't. All I can do is find a way to honour them through the sale of their stuff, perhaps through a donation of the proceeds to a meaningful charity, and also learn the lessons of their experiences. My father died when he was just 65. He wasn't overweight but he didn't eat a healthy diet. So one lesson I learned from him was to exercise and eat well and take control of my life. The lessons of excess I've learned from my parents taught me that I do not want to live in a storage shed/warehouse. I have been going through much of my own stuff and have planned to dispose of it as I sell their estate items. If I can't use it or display it in a way that allows me to enjoy it on a regular basis, it's going. It has been easier for me to change my ways with regard to clutter collecting by seeing the sad end result of my parents doing the same thing. Basically, I know where this is headed if I don't take control of it now. I have learned to sort my mail over the first garbage can I encounter in the house after getting the mail so that I don't have to handle things twice. I have also learned to pay bills when they arrive so I'm not handling those more than once, either. Joyous1, I think you're right about balance, but not just because you are feeling stressed about your dog (I'm so sorry to hear about that. I certainly understand and have been through difficult pet-care decisions in the past - my thoughts and prayers are with you). I think the goal should always be to find balance in life. Then when one area is stressful, which is a fact of life, you have something to cling to and recapture a sense of peace and sanity. This is a wonderful thread. Thank you for starting the discussion, Tituba! :) Cha!

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Post by audreyh1 »

Cha! wrote:If I can't use it or display it in a way that allows me to enjoy it on a regular basis, it's going.
Wow Cha! Well that's probably the hardest way to learn these critical life lessons, but it's also probably also the most unforgettable way to learn them. Yes, it's kind of amazing that people can acquire and acquire stuff but to no apparent benefit if it's just stuffed somewhere. But people keep on acquiring! We have all done it to some degree. Obviously it's part of human nature to hoard stuff. When I think back to when I bought some things even though I didn't have a clear idea of how I might use such a thing - there always seemed to be this element of "promise" or "possibility". Like maybe your mother was saving that crystal set for some special event she always thought she might have some day? In a way, getting rid of these items that we don't actually use but that represent some "future promise" clears up and opens our future for new things, instead of having our future cluttered up too. Audrey
I have uncluttered my life and I now live my dream full-time!

Cha!
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Post by Cha! »

Hi Audrey, I completely agree. I think in my parents' case, having lived through the Depression gave them a limiting view of things, thus, they learned to hang on to everything, everything might have multiple uses, etc. I can understand that in theory but not from practical experience. My father has been dead for 20 years and all throughout that time, my mother complained about living in the big lonely house and talked about how much she wanted to move. But she was stuck because she had all this stuff and couldn't/wouldn't deal with it. I have learned to see excess as a hindrance and barrier to the things I truly want. I do now see current possessions and future purchases with a much more critical eye as to whether or now I'll actually use something. I think it was Barbara Sher who said that if you're filling a need with the wrong thing, you'll never be full. If what you want and need is love, all the crystal in the world won't make you feel full or satisfied. When I first started the task of cleaning out the house, I used to grumble a lot about why couldn't my parents have taken care of this, etc. Now I thank them for this extremely valuable lesson. It has been very difficult on so many levels but it's also been equally as powerful. Cha!

paralegalgirl
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Red Alert!

Post by paralegalgirl »

They just showed a piece of clutter support groups on MSNBC. paralegalgirl

joyous1
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Post by joyous1 »

So how come, if I'm so low on the clutter scale and am virtuously paying off the credit cards and not charging more, am I gaining more weight? Argh!

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Post by Tituba »

So how come, if I'm so low on the clutter scale and am virtuously paying off the credit cards and not charging more, am I gaining more weight? Argh!
Are you exercising three to four times a week hard enough to break a sweat?

webbdee
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clutter/health?

Post by webbdee »

In First magazine, February 28, 2005 issue, there was an article, \"The shocking truth about clutter...and how the organizational approach can make you happier, smarter and slimmer!\" The article suggests getting 2 to 4 grams of omega-3s daily from cold-water fish or 1,200 mg from a capsule. This was posted under storage-space clutter in the article and says that hoarders have suppressed activity in the anterior cingulate gyrus(ACG) which is involved in decision making, problem solving and spatial orientation. I did see a slight improvement with just one bottle :roll: but then I got too broke to buy more. :P The book that the article was based on was Making Peace With the Things in Your Life by Cindy Glovinsky, St.Martin's, 2002. Maybe you can find it at the library. Dee
We come here to learn what we must teach. "In times of change, the learners will inherit the Earth while the knowers will find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists." - Eric Hoffer

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Post by willow »

I was watching Dr. Phil the other day and he was talking to this overweight man. He said: "At what point in your life did you tell yourself it was alright to live your life overweight?" At first, I was really taken aback by the question and a bit angry. Then I calmed down and started thinking about it and how it goes to the core of this thread. When did I give myself permission to rack up debt? Get overweight? Live in clutter? When is it that I will require more of myself to have the life I deserve? And, when will I believe I deserve it?

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Post by audreyh1 »

I'm curious, willow, what was it about Dr. Phil's statement that made you angry at first? By the way, believing that we deserve a healthy body, deserve a physical environment that lets us feel good, is pretty key to getting them. I think you have to repeat "I deserve xyz (good thing)" over and over to yourself until you believe it. We ALL deserve good things like health, being debt-free, etc. You just have to decide to believe that. In other words someone can always try to convince us that we don't deserve something and we may have been raised with that message. But that's hogwash and always will be. Of course we deserve these good things. Audrey
I have uncluttered my life and I now live my dream full-time!

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