Clutter-Overweight-In Debt-Hate Job

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Postby GiniDee » Tue Mar 02, 2004 3:53 am

Good point, well taken! Thanks, Das Image
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Postby healthwizard » Wed Mar 10, 2004 9:32 pm

Clutter- It's really traesure. Just as soon as you throw it away you'll need it. Overweight- Bit harder to handle but may stem from the "Food has become my best friend" syndrom. Food doesn't reject you. (Dr. Phil said that) In Debt- Why wait till you scrimp and save Buy it today. Use your plastic or just sign here. The Marketing (science) behind the ads is scary and fantastic. Were faced each day in thousands of ways to break our resistance and "help" us in debt. Only way to beat it is to recognize the language being used and thwart it. Hate Job- Ok this one I know well It's because deep down You know you can do more, be better and have more while doing it. FEAR (False Evidense Appearing Real) gets in the way and we "settle" into the comfortable rut. A very old saying goes..."A person will risk all to save a buck but risk nothing to make one" Took me years to figure it out but it did finally click. Whew I got long winded, sorry about that.
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Postby Tituba » Thu Mar 25, 2004 7:04 am

Ok, I made some progress. When I'm not in cubicle-land I never wear makeup. I know some women who don't leave the house without it. I've always been the opposite. So since I've quit my job, it has been just sitting there growing bacteria I'm sure. So it got tossed. One question about clothes. I have these items I purchased but never ever wore. I bought them because as I thought when I lost alot of weight I'd wear them. So I was going through them and am really torn about giving them away. On one hand, bottom line - they are over 15 years old and have never once been put on. On the other hand, my inner voice is saying if I give them away, I'm resigning myself to never being that size. Now I know they are fabric and thread and hold no real power over my health and fitness except what I've assigned to them. Does anyone have the same thing? The whole clutter-overweight connection?
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Postby cathrael » Thu Mar 25, 2004 7:23 am

I can relate to hanging on to clothes. I have a gorgeous embroidered silk suit that I bought at a steep discount in a consignment shop. The top fits but the skirt is way too tight. My dream was to fit into it by Easter and wear it to church, but it doesn't look like that's going to happen. My fear is that I will hang onto it for years, never fitting into it but always hopeful that I will. I don't think I can ever give it away. It would feel like giving up. At least I can wear the top part with other things, maybe. Blessings, cathrael ------------------ It is no use to wait for your ship to come in unless you have sent one out. (Belgian proverb)
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Postby Tituba » Thu Mar 25, 2004 7:54 am

Yes cat - that's where I am. What I'm doing lately is reframing my thoughts on this issue. I've given away my power to THINGS! When did my life become getting rid of clothes that don't fit as evidence of failure! For many years, I'd open these boxes, look at them and put them back. This has gone on for 15 years! I'm making great progress in this resistance monster of late. Realizing the power I have assigned to things. The good news is......what I have given I can also take away. Reclaiming the power over things. This is a big step.
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Postby Rosebud » Thu Mar 25, 2004 3:10 pm

I also have a few clothes hanging around that I've never worn. I bought a special outfit for a special event in my ideal size. That was two years ago and I still can't fit into it. Now, it has stains (I have no clue why) and shouldn't be worn in public. Most of my clothes clutter is the stuff I used to be able to wear (in my ideal size). Really nice tailored designer label stuff I bought back when I made a comfortable living and was clueless about planning for the future. I am so hoping to fit back into that stuff one day. I saw this thread when you originally posted it. It hit too close to home. As my girlfriend says, "If you can't say amen, say ouch!" Funny how those things (clutter, overweight, debt and bad job situation) go together. Tam ------------------ Start by doing what's necessary, then what's possible, and suddenly you're doing the impossible--St. Francis of Assisi
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Postby Tituba » Thu Mar 25, 2004 3:20 pm

Rosebud - yes, that is why I started the thread in the first place. I was sitting on the train on my way to Boston and I started pondering the issues in my own life. When I boiled it down to clutter, overweight, in debt - I began wondering if there was a common denominator. If others found this to be true in their own lives. From the activity on this thread, there is. We are all in similar struggles.
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Postby joyous1 » Thu Mar 25, 2004 3:21 pm

Do you think its possible its like a domino effect? The "Change One Thing"? Right now I'm tackling clutter, will that have a waterfall effect onto getting out of debt that will lead to losing weight and then tumble into a fab job? Because it would feel so much easier to tackle one thing and have the others fall into line - sure it would still take effort, but maybe it would be more effortless? Just a thought (and a hope cause I'm in the quadruple strike club too!)
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Postby Tituba » Thu Mar 25, 2004 3:53 pm

Joyous - I don't know. I sure hope so. When you think about it, doesn't positive flow create positive flow? I'm not one to believe in magic. I don't believe putting a color in a part of my house will somehow bring financial windfall. But what I do believe is that anything that makes me believe in myself, brings about behavior change which brings about tangible change. I know how I feel when I walk into a room of clutter. Or around my favorite stuff and color. So at least for me, working on an area I CAN do something about will be one less thing I have to deal with. A quote on my frig: "Don't let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do." So, I may not reduce my debt or conquer the weight issues today. But I can move some clutter out of my life today. Maybe others have experience with this and the effect it had on their lives? [This message has been edited by Tituba (edited March 25, 2004).]
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Postby Rosebud » Thu Mar 25, 2004 6:19 pm

Joyous and Tituba---I hoping that when I conquer my weight and the issues behind it, I will be able to deal with the other issues--clutter and debt. Doing so would give me the knowledge that I can accomplish a personal thereby giving me confidence to take on the other issues. As I write this, I'm starting to think it I may have it backwards. Just by watching the people in Dr. Phil's weight loss challenge. Those individuals have or are dealing with the personal garbage while losing weight. ------------------ Start by doing what's necessary, then what's possible, and suddenly you're doing the impossible--St. Francis of Assisi
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Postby candlelady » Thu Mar 25, 2004 7:35 pm

It has always been my experience that when I allow clutter to take over around me, then my thoughts and ideas begin to feel cluttered and unclear. Does this make sense? It really does have a domino effect on us because once we start to get overwhelmed in one area it just snowballs into other areas of our lives. LOL! I know I'm not answering the main questions but I can describe how these make me feel. I know this sounds funny and will really make me sound like a dinosaur. (Which I am.) I can remember many years ago before my family got our first T.V. I was 7 years old. None of my friends or myself had even heard of a "brand name" we just wore jeans and tennis shoes.....Then came a major change, this change was massive advertising! Before too long we were all being told/shown,what we should eat,drive,wear and what our houses should look like. Maybe we sometimes unconsiously feel like we've failed when we cant't achieve the status quo? I seem to be rambling so I will close! LOL! Just wanted share some feelings and ideas with you. Gail.H
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Postby GiniDee » Fri Mar 26, 2004 1:17 am

Let me put a wierd spin on all these issues that has just occurred to me: Overweight is merely society's opinion of your body size that you have internalized - until it actually becomes life-threatening. Then it's a health issue, not vanity. Debt represents other people's trust in you, and in your ability to repay the resources you have borrowed to build that debt. Toxic jobs represent lessons you haven't learned yet. Clutter really is the potential and symbol of busy-ness and importance you think it is. I don't believe any of it myself. But what if all those things were really a consensus opinion that you have internalized... and that "the truth is (STILL) out there". Maybe we're wrong to make ourselves wrong Image
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Postby Tituba » Sun Mar 28, 2004 3:31 am

Thanks candlelady and Gini for your input! As for me, I don't think the issues are really about advertising pressure. I think it is more like what Barbara said in Lesson 4 in "Live the Life You Love." Clutter - gives me a never-ending project so that I have can work on that instead of my life. The excuse of "busy work." Overweight - gives me an excuse to hide my real self. In trying to dig through the core issues of this, I realized that as a kid, I was actually rejected by my family when I did well. I did well in school and followed the rules. My sisters and brothers were always in trouble with lousy grades, getting arrested and running wild. I was the kid doing her homework and never getting detention. I'm the only one of a family of five that graduated. They all quit school. My siblings dumped alot of jealous resentment on me. My damaged parents didn't help. They'd either used me as an example, taunting them and making them reject me more. Or they'd say "oh, you think you are better than everyone else." Damned if i do, damned if I don't. So, recently I have thought perhaps the weight is my way of apologizing to the world for any success I achieve so I won't get rejected again. Hide my light to not offend others. Just so as to put a container on any success I might have and make others feel better being around me. So no one again can say "who do you think you are?" They will be consoled by being able to say "yeah, but look at the size of her butt." It's complicated. Anyone else find themselves doing this?
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Postby docsue » Sun Mar 28, 2004 6:32 am

I knew I wasn't alone in this, Candlelady - yes! There's a space-clutter/mind clutter connection! Here's the thing about weight and success - my version anyhow - you can not get fat enough to hide your talent, Tituba, unless you get so big that they have to cut open a wall to take you to the hospital. I think that there's a lot of truth in trying to hide from or punish yourself for success. Still there, still doing it myself. This is long, but I've posted it in my computer armoire to remind me: Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves,Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us: it is ineveryone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. Marianne Williamson: A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of a Course in Miracles Last thought - the old clothes - they may be too dated for charity. If the fabrics are interesting, there may be a quilter or fabric artist who could make them beautiful in a new way. [This message has been edited by docsue (edited March 28, 2004).]
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Postby engelein » Sun Mar 28, 2004 8:13 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Tituba: <B>Overweight - gives me an excuse to hide my real self. ... So, recently I have thought perhaps the weight is my way of apologizing to the world for any success I achieve so I won't get rejected again. Hide my light to not offend others. Just so as to put a container on any success I might have and make others feel better being around me. So no one again can say "who do you think you are?" They will be consoled by being able to say "yeah, but look at the size of her butt." It's complicated. Anyone else find themselves doing this?</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Yup, this is true for a lot of people - and something I had to figure out for myself. Does it make it any easier to let go of the weight, Erm... jury is still out on that one. I've been doing a non-diet program for a loooong time (over 18 months now) which was what first made me aware of this connection. Now, I made the recognition about a year ago. Was I ready to let go? No. I think the time is starting to come though - which certainly doesn't mean I'll be going on a diet, it just means that I'll be doing less eating out of reasons other than hunger. This is starting to move now, and something around my middle has changed over the last couple of weeks. Whatever happens with my actual dress size, I certainly feel much happier having recognised the fact that fat is a convenient hiding place, because then, if I don't do anything else, I can stop hiding behind it. Am I making any sense at all, LOL?...
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