IDEAS FOR BARBARA - PLEASE RESPOND

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Re: IDEAS FOR BARBARA - PLEASE RESPOND

Postby ebrazley » Sat Mar 13, 2010 3:42 pm

I could do anything if I really believed that I could succeed.
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Re: IDEAS FOR BARBARA - PLEASE RESPOND

Postby BarbaraSher » Sat Mar 13, 2010 3:54 pm

Do you think that's true? In any case, how do you make yourself believe something unless you already believe it? I think you can do anything you want, at least the part you love the most, without believing you can. I never met anyone who believed in himself 100% of the time. Everybody, even the most famous athletes are afraid they won't be able to do what they wish they could do. And if you think that believing is the key, then you'll feel bad if you fail since you think it's all your fault. When in fact, it might have been close to impossible, no matter what you believed. This thinking looks harmless, but I honestly think it makes a lot of people feel bad about themselves when they can't persuade their brains to have the right attitude. I don't know where this idea comes from. I guess we see famous, successful people and they seem to feel confident, so we figure if we feel confident, we'll be like them. Like voodoo magic. Bad logic. Flawed reasoning. If you know what you want, get some support and make a plan and start towards it. If you don't know what you want, read the first half of WISHCRAFT, or LIVE THE LIFE YOU LOVE, oor I COULD DO ANYTHING IF I ONLY KNEW WHAT IT WAS. They usually help.
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Re: IDEAS FOR BARBARA - PLEASE RESPOND

Postby Unique Journalist » Sat Mar 13, 2010 4:20 pm

Hi Barbara, I spent years thinking I could only move forward on something if it was perfect right out of the starting gate. And if I was in the right frame of mind. My scrapbook sat there forever waiting to get started because I thought it had to have just the right layouts planned, everything flows together, pictures at just the right angles with the right accessories, etc. etc. Strangely enough...the motivation to finally do it came when my birth dad came home from the hospital and was put under hospice care. I live about 500 miles away from there, but I felt a sudden sense of urgency to piece it together. Suddenly I didn't care if it was perfect--I just wanted to have reminders of my family and preserve memories. Doing the physical activities of scrapbooking helped me stay grounded and centered when my world was being shaken. Here's something I wrote in my journal nearly two months after he died: "People think that 'positive thinking' or discipline is what it takes to get things accomplished. Not always. Sometimes grief cracks our hearts open and compels us to make use of the time we have."
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Re: IDEAS FOR BARBARA - PLEASE RESPOND

Postby BarbaraSher » Sat Mar 13, 2010 5:01 pm

Beautiful. And true. I speak from personal experience. Thank you.
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Re: IDEAS FOR BARBARA - PLEASE RESPOND

Postby Ilah » Thu Mar 18, 2010 1:30 pm

BarbaraSher wrote:Do you think that's true? In any case, how do you make yourself believe something unless you already believe it? I think you can do anything you want, at least the part you love the most, without believing you can. I never met anyone who believed in himself 100% of the time. Everybody, even the most famous athletes are afraid they won't be able to do what they wish they could do. And if you think that believing is the key, then you'll feel bad if you fail since you think it's all your fault. When in fact, it might have been close to impossible, no matter what you believed. This thinking looks harmless, but I honestly think it makes a lot of people feel bad about themselves when they can't persuade their brains to have the right attitude. I don't know where this idea comes from. I guess we see famous, successful people and they seem to feel confident, so we figure if we feel confident, we'll be like them. Like voodoo magic. Bad logic. Flawed reasoning. If you know what you want, get some support and make a plan and start towards it. If you don't know what you want, read the first half of WISHCRAFT, or LIVE THE LIFE YOU LOVE, oor I COULD DO ANYTHING IF I ONLY KNEW WHAT IT WAS. They usually help.
I used buy into the idea that if you believed in something enough it would succeed. I tried that with a number of different fitness plans. I would go into them believing they would work, and they didn't. I did tend to pick things with titles like "Fit and Fabulous in 15 minutes a day" so maybe they didn't really deserve my enthusiastic belief. :lol: At any rate I started to feel bad about my belief in my success not working very well. Was my belief not strong enough? And after a while it was hard to believe when it felt like my belief failed me so many times. I still think belief helps, but it has to have something solid to go with it, like a reasonable plan.
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Re: IDEAS FOR BARBARA - PLEASE RESPOND

Postby cliffskier » Fri Jun 04, 2010 10:51 am

Hi. I am new here, and this is my first posting.

I think I could do anything if only I...

had the right connections.
knew what to ask for.
had more confidence in myself.
weren't so shy and uncomfortable with others.
didn't try to do it all by myself.
knew how to ask for help.
knew when to ask for help.
knew how to persuade other people.
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Re: IDEAS FOR BARBARA - PLEASE RESPOND

Postby slitherboy » Tue Jul 13, 2010 3:38 am

I could do anything if only I were omnipotent.

I could do anything if only I limited it to something that isn't much of anything.

I could do anything if only I weren't so completely impotent and lacking in life skills that I find myself unable to help others on this board, and hence unable to feel I can ask for the support I myself need. This, compounded by the fact that remaining option then (according to the ground rules) is to seek psychological services which have for some years been cut down, and now, especially since the financial bubble has burst, are practically non-existent. Game over. Oh yeah, and I still haven't worked out what I want either, in other words ...

I could do anything, if only I knew what it was (as well as being omnipotent, or not completely impotent etc.).
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Re: IDEAS FOR BARBARA - PLEASE RESPOND

Postby relztrah » Wed Aug 11, 2010 12:20 pm

I could do anything if only I weren't completely apathetic about everything.
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Re: IDEAS FOR BARBARA - PLEASE RESPOND

Postby Andreya » Fri Aug 13, 2010 5:45 am

"I could do anything if only I - had more guts - wasn't afraid to do so, lol! Or afraid 'which way to choose'.. as if it's soo important!! (it always seems)'

A lot of things I want to do are totally doable, not sure how to deal with fear and anxiety and being slightly ADD-ish/bipolar-ish/weather-dependant and interested in too many things, lol!!

Other obstacles: having to think about money and other people's reactions (and interruptions and disruptions and sometimes passive aggressive behaviour and unclear boundaries and expectations..)

Strategic planning. I wish I were better at it, in the past already.. Then I'd have most things settled/figured out now and could do stuff I wanted.. wish I didn't lose so much time to learn all I know now, lol..
'Everything is possible. They make rockets and put them on the moon, you know!' (neighbour, on closing up a balcony)
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Re: IDEAS FOR BARBARA - PLEASE RESPOND

Postby Andreya » Fri Aug 13, 2010 5:49 am

slitherboy wrote:I could do anything if only I were omnipotent.

I could do anything, if only I knew what it was (as well as being omnipotent, or not completely impotent etc.).


Hm, she didn't say 'do everything' :) Only god might be omnipotent, and even that has been questioned (just look at the world we live in..) Lots of people do wonderful things anyway..

About choosing - I hear you.. There's a lot of fear and angst involved, I guess.. I liked Susan Jeffers' take on it in 'Feel the Fear and Do It' - have you read it?
'Everything is possible. They make rockets and put them on the moon, you know!' (neighbour, on closing up a balcony)
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Re: IDEAS FOR BARBARA - PLEASE RESPOND

Postby irminator » Sun Sep 26, 2010 4:02 pm

I could do anything if only I had 10,000 dollars. I'm not greedy. Its what I need to move forward. Its all I need. :D
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Re: IDEAS FOR BARBARA - PLEASE RESPOND

Postby old_contrary » Tue Nov 23, 2010 4:33 am

I could and have done anything I wanted - The only thing stopping me is knowing what I want.

Having read some of the responses I'm left thinking that people seem really stuck in the "How To" part.

I'm flabbergasted at this unhappy state of affairs. Since when has money been a problem, or contacts, or resources?

I do wonder why we are we all so trapped into this mode of thinking. Is it education or the education system that teaches problem solving! Since when did problem solving really achieve anything apart from getting back to the status quo.

I might be incorrect in asking about the problem solving mentality/question and would be interested in some feedback as to why people think or believe they are stuck?

Regards to all

Steve
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Re: IDEAS FOR BARBARA - PLEASE RESPOND

Postby Tituba » Tue Nov 23, 2010 5:27 am

Since when has money been a problem, or contacts, or resources?


Since always. Please explain why these items wouldn't be a problem? Especially for those on the brink of bankruptcy, maybe losing their house and barely affording groceries?
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Re: IDEAS FOR BARBARA - PLEASE RESPOND

Postby old_contrary » Tue Nov 23, 2010 1:23 pm

Hi Tituba

I can see I may have caused offense at my question, it was not intended and I apologise to all.

I have had a business go bust, lost my house and a long term girlfriend and had no money at all.

Money is likely to be one of the first things that pops into our head especially if we are close to bankruptcy and have lots of other stresses in our life. I was in such a situation and I found that I couldn't see a way out of my mess. I got tunnel visioned at the lack of money which caused me further panic and eventual collapse.

My question and concern on behalf of others is that there are other ways to achieve the end goal that may not need any money. It does though need a clear head with a focus on the goal we wish to reach.

The true goal is not really the need for money. Money is liquid (at least most of the time) and does provide a relative easy way to convert one resource into another.

Here is an example of what I mean... I needed or wanted someone to get me some leads or appointments for a business I'm involved in. I didn't have the cash to pay a person so we agreed to exchange my skills for their skills. Another person who normally charges £200 per day agreed to get paid a commission based on the value they brought or delivered over the lifetime of the relationship.

It was only after thinking or looking at things differently that I was able to see another way to hit my goal.

I would just hate to see people suffer as I suffered in the past. Humans can achieve massive growth by co-operating and yet we are taught to be self reliant.

We are also taught problem solving especially by our education system in the UK. The problem with problem solving is that it can only ever get us back to some sort of status quo, it doesn't advance us.

There are other ways to get what we want by applying a creative approach.

Sorry once again if I caused offense.

Regards

Steve
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Re: IDEAS FOR BARBARA - PLEASE RESPOND

Postby Ulla » Fri Nov 26, 2010 9:55 pm

I could do anything if I had the state of an open mind and open heart.
I could do anything if I would be brave enough to sit down and listen to my self and while listening experience the wide range of space, no limits.
I could do anything if I would have a clear mind.
I could do anything if I would be brave enough to look at the truth under my thoughts and behaviour of resistance to discover the fear below and face it.
I could do anything if I wouldn't know this means to leave my husband, because I detected that this marriage is not the environment that supports me in my true way of living, meeting my goals and dreams.
I could do anything if I would be strong enough and have the state of kindness when my family says: you are crazy (fear of denial in family).
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