Resistance! Got a problem with it?

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Resistance! Got a problem with it?

Postby BarbaraSher » Sun Dec 09, 2012 2:56 am

Tell about it here: your problem(s) with Resistance, that is. I'm curious to know, and maybe can figure out what to do about it. You never know! :-)
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Re: Resistance! Got a problem with it?

Postby RayofLight2 » Sun Dec 09, 2012 7:54 am

Oh, yes. I have resistance with moving forward to create a grant writing business. Some of it is fear of the unknown and my tendency to want to cling to safety. I'm taking baby steps and it is a really gradual process and I see the tendency in myself to think/say that I don't have enough of this or that to promote myself full blast.
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Re: Resistance! Got a problem with it?

Postby BarbaraSher » Sun Dec 09, 2012 8:24 am

Thanks, RayofLight2 (lovely handle)

I'm eager to answer, but I think I need to ask a couple of questions first:

You said:
"I have resistance with moving forward to create a grant writing business. Some of it is fear of the unknown and my tendency to want to cling to safety."

Question 1: What's the danger?
I'm not implying there is none. I just need to know which parts feel dangerous, or what is the dangerous thing or things you have to do?


You said:
"I'm taking baby steps and it is a really gradual process"

Question 2: Which baby steps seem okay to take?


You said:
"I see the tendency in myself to think/say that I don't have enough of this or that to promote myself full blast."

Question 3: What do you mean (for example) when you say/think that you don't have enough of to promote yourself full blast?

There's a possibility that your fears are correct and there are some steps you might have to take before you do any serious promoting. Maybe not. But tell me more.
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Re: Resistance! Got a problem with it?

Postby Tituba » Sun Dec 09, 2012 9:12 am

Welcome back Barbara. :)

With me, it is the adrenaline boogie. By that I mean, when I'm crazy busy with no time, I get dozens of ideas on how to move my dream forward. Then, when I have down time, I find myself not doing anything I put on the list while in the frenzy. Not even having a slight idea. During those times, I log alot of TV and internet. Newton's law of motion.....

As you know Barbara, I've had my share of stress in the past two years (which I won't discuss on the board). Hid out for awhile hopeing the storm would pass and not do me anymore harm. I'm just now feeling like I'm floating to the surface and can move forward on some things.

I've been doing alot of thinking about my 3rd act. I don't think it'll be IT work. So now I'm looking into other things. One thing that interests me is becoming a Personal Historian. Not tracing people's trees. Interviewing them, scanning their pictures, writing their stories, getting them published for their friends and family.
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Re: Resistance! Got a problem with it?

Postby pattyn » Sun Dec 09, 2012 10:25 am

Cool, Tituba. If you want a role model and guide in this arena, look up Success Teams leader and WriteSpeak grad Beth LaMie, http://bethlamie.com.

I don't know what Barbara will say about your ideas vs. inaction problem, but it sounds to me like the answer is to stay busy but always keep an appointment with yourself in the middle of each busy day for carrying out those ideas.
- Patty Newbold
Director, Sher Success Teams
Marriage Education Author/Speaker - assumelove.com - enjoybeingmarried.com
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Re: Resistance! Got a problem with it?

Postby BarbaraSher » Sun Dec 09, 2012 12:13 pm

I bet a lot of people know exactly what you mean, Tituba. And Patty's idea is good because when most of us really slow down, so do our ideas. All that's necessary is to inch each project forward on a regular basis. I often keep mine in emails to myself (with really obvious subject lines) and bring them up, add something, and send them to myself again. :-)
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Re: Resistance! Got a problem with it?

Postby USAnne » Sun Dec 09, 2012 1:42 pm

My resistance seems to have something to do with 'it's going to take up too much of my time' and/or 'success will change me, or will make me have to change (my place of residence, my relationships with others'. When I finally started getting close to where I wanted to go with my website, I STOPPED DEAD IN MY TRACKS. Started having alot less fun with it. Started feeling pressured, and hating it! I also started seeing the competition around me and felt like I wanted to run away from it.

I 'tell myself' I don't have enough time to do things, but end up surfing the internet, learning how to make homemade cat food. Writing songs with a friend. Watching TV or reading a mystery novel, all the time telling myself I need my 'down time'. None of those things are bad in themselves, just the timing. As if I didn't have enough time to write a blogpost!

Sigh...

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Re: Resistance! Got a problem with it?

Postby BarbaraSher » Thu Dec 13, 2012 2:48 am

Well, for one thing, that 'down time' you're getting by doing those wonderful things is really good! I'm impressed. Many people avoid doing the stressful work of making themselves visible (and happy) by cleaning something. (I think I do both. I'll have to look at when I do what. Interesting.)

I remember being afraid I'd get famous back in 1974 or 5. I said to a successful friend, a jingles writer, "Tom, will you still like me if I get successful?"
"Hell yes," he said. "I don't want trash at my parties."
Somehow, laughing about it helped.

But what's more to the point is that one doesn't become successful so fast. Maybe some people get a special break and are shot into the stratosphere, like rock stars, before they're ready, but it's extremely uncommon. Especially, when we're talking about something like a blog. The climb is slow and usually success waits to visit for many years. I mention that almost guaranteed reality, partly, to lower the danger level you're feeling. It's clear that you're scaring yourself with thoughts of immediate success, and maybe this will help you slow that down.

Now let's look at emotions. When success scares you, we have to figure out why. When fear wakes up Resistance by signaling 'Danger, danger!!' (which is what seems to have happened to you) they're usually about something in the past, often a decision we made long ago to protect ourselves from something emotionally painful. Does anything pop into your mind?
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Re: Resistance! Got a problem with it?

Postby Elaine Glimme » Fri Dec 14, 2012 2:04 pm

Yes.

Is it resistance when you start working on a project, then get an overwhelming compulsion to play a hand of spider solitaire (or five or six or....)? Is it resistance when the clutter is so bad, you can't find what you need to work? And when you lose e-mail addresses and phone numbers.
Is it resistance if I forget to check this thread for replies to my post?
I don't feel much anxiety now, but I'm not doing much right now.

I wrote a book. My wish is that many people will read it. I'm afraid of a lot of things, and there are probably more things I'm afraid of that I don't even know about, but here's what I can think of right now:

An acquaintance spent AN HOUR at a writers group reading something he'd written - It was about his book and how everyone loved it, and how he loved his wife and was giving money to charity. I don't want to be like that.
I'm afraid that I'll get flack for writing it.
I'm afraid it isn't good enough - that's probably the biggest fear.
I'm afraid of everything that I don't know.

I feel the need to play spider solitaire.
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Re: Resistance! Got a problem with it?

Postby BarbaraSher » Fri Dec 14, 2012 3:49 pm

You need a dozen ways to promote your book. Then you'll have something to resist.

Think of it, Elaine. Hundreds of people try to finish their novels and don't do it. Dozens join NaNoWrMo to just turn out 50,000 words in the roughest of drafts, and not many of them actually succeed. Yours is written, it's on Kindle, and you're proud of it and think it's important for people to read it.

Nothing else to discuss. Once you have good ideas on how to attract some attention (preferably an ongoing Promotion Schedule) you can talk about how you're not doing it because you're playing spider solitaire. Right now, you've got nothing to avoid, as far as I can see.

And what is spider solitaire anyway? I never heard of it. (Is it on your computer?) I'd like to procrastinate a little. Though I prefer waiting until I go brain dead late in the evening, and then I find full-length wonderful movies on YouTube. I'll tell you all about it as soon as you have a promotion calendar set up and need some enjoyable avoidance tactics.
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Re: Resistance! Got a problem with it?

Postby Elaine Glimme » Fri Dec 14, 2012 9:08 pm

Thanks.

Okay, here's what I have so far:

I participated in October's idea party, and pattyn gave me some good ideas. Also Mango.
I met someone in Hanging Out who wants to be a coach. I asked her for a breakout session, and I plan to ask her for a couple of paid coaching sessions. She had health problems/new grandchild, but we're both available now (except Christmas is a couple of weeks away.) I'm hoping she'll help me get a schedule going such as you want me to do.
I have no idea how to do a press release. I think you have to have a newsworthy story, and I haven't come up with anything yet.
Twitter gives me the twitters.
I hired a friend (needs job badly) to post a promo on Facebook, Twitter, and some other similar sites, and she did that.
I have a blog with the whole book on it, and some people have read and are reading it on their computers. but I don't get very many people reading my blog.
I've been handing out my flyers around town, but my flyers say you can buy the book and Barnes&Noble.com, and I couldn't find it there, so I have to figure out what to do about that. I thought you could buy Lulu books on line at Barnes & Noble. Anyway, it's a glitch, but a fixable glitch.

So it's a start.

I took November off from marketing and did NaNoWriMo - I wrote 50,000 words of the sequel. it was a good thing. I hadn't written much of anything in a while. (Brat is joining Occupy)

And I'm reading all of the things you suggested in Hanging Out. You make it sound so easy!!!!! I think the Internet and a press release would give me the biggest bang, and I'm just not sure how to use them. it takes me a couple of times reading through them to get all of the ideas since this is unfamiliar territory.

That's about it.
Last edited by Elaine Glimme on Sat Dec 15, 2012 11:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Resistance! Got a problem with it?

Postby BarbaraSher » Sat Dec 15, 2012 2:58 am

Ah, very good! Now we're talking about the right thing. We're in the right arena.

Re having your whole book on your blog, I'd take down most of it and start over (with putting it up on your blog, that is, not writing it.)

First, I'd put up some testimonials by people who've read it. Like me, for instance. "'This is a *good* book!' Barbara Sher, author of [whatever you think is my best known book]

Then a few paragraphs of the beginning. And I'd stop on a tantalizing sentence. "He looked up and couldn't believe his eyes." for instance. Then skip some spaces and say, "It will astonish you. Go to the next blog entry and find out now!"

Then, in the next blog entry I'd put a chunk of the novel, not more than a page or two, and stop at a logical pause, skip some lines and say, "If you're enjoying my novel, click here to get the next chapter, free. Or click here to get the whole thing for 99c. And thank you, dear reader. I hope you'll enjoy the very unusual story you are about to read. And I'd love to read your comments."

Then I'd go to Twitter -- and you'd better stop complaining about Twitter or you'll get an earful from me. It's a lot better than you understand, but even if it weren't, if you want people to read your book, you go to Twitter.

First I'd take the URL of the blog entry and take it to bit.ly and make it short. (Try it. It's easier to do than to explain. For instance, the URL of the page I'm typing on right now is:

posting.php?mode=reply&f=27&t=25313

And after bit.ly, it's only:

http://bit.ly/U1ZRdv

Leaves you more room to say exciting stuff, like:

"He couldn't believe his eyes!" What did Bill see? Look at the opening of my new novel to find out: http://bit.ly/U1ZRdv

You might get a few sarcastic comments, but, for the most part, the only people who will see your comments will be us, because I have a hunch no one is following you.

In fact, *I* might get a few sarcastic comments for suggesting something this obvious. But there are very smart people who do far more:

http://www.copyblogger.com/smart-people-headlines/ (Be sure to click on his '21 Great Headlines from Trashy Tabloids')

Oh, and by the way, start reading ProBlogger, and other blogs about how to get your novel noticed.

Any additional suggestions, fellow amateur marketers?
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Re: Resistance! Got a problem with it?

Postby SquarePeg » Mon Dec 17, 2012 2:13 pm

If you have the time, it can help to comment on other authors' blogs. First, you offer them encouragement, and a few might return that favor. Second, you might pick up a few of their followers.
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Re: Resistance! Got a problem with it?

Postby Elaine Glimme » Wed Dec 19, 2012 2:00 pm

Thanks, Square Peg. It's a good idea. I did it once, and I'll go back to commenting on author's blogs again.

Thanks, Barbara, for the encouragement and for the ideas.

I'll start with reading about blogs and good headings. I'm thinking of making more than one new blog and trying out headlines and labels and other attention getters to see what works and what doesn't.

by the way I wrote a short story - "The Last Papparazzo", and had a lot of fun writing tabloid type headlines: "Shocking Photos of Leonard Gherkin's Bizarre Sex Cult." and
"Cat Woman Breaks up Dynamic Duo - Guess who’s been slippin’ and a slidin’, wigglin’ and a jigglin’ all steamy, dreamy, whipping creamy?"

Not quite the image I want for "Temporary Address", but I'll think of something.


As for Twitter and bit.ly - I don't understand. I will find some one to explain it, but that's going to have to wait until after the holidays. I'll bump my idea party thread and see if there's anyone who can help me.
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Re: Resistance! Got a problem with it?

Postby Tituba » Thu Dec 27, 2012 4:04 pm

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