help with my reward/nectar and .. am I a scanner and what ty

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help with my reward/nectar and .. am I a scanner and what ty

Postby Genaldscanner » Thu Feb 06, 2014 12:20 pm

Okay guys I'm in denial that I'm a scanner- I really want to be a diver because I can't stick to anything, because I want to have something for show in my life..
In refuse to choose, there's an exercise called - what have I done so far? Here are my answers:
I have learnt how to play basketball really well, have done boxing, muay thai, BJJ, leaant loads about getting women. Getting loads of sex, taught other guys how to. Make a website about it. Learnt a lot about life and my self, leaarnt that I am an ENTP,
I tried to set up an e-commerece website, I learnt some progamming language, I failed my first year of AS levels - started maths, enenglish literatue, business, geography, next year changed subjects to english language, ict, philosphy, and geography. I was going to make a website for club promoting, and a food product idea. Learnt a lot about rugby, american football, learnt a lot about exercise, muscle mass/ strength, sprinting, dieting, motivation, and careers.

I am 17 years old, and my last one was careers because.. I've looked everywhere to find a career that is right for me. But I just can't make up my mind. I know so much, but made little action. Any help?
I posted a few day's earlier that I wanted to become an entrepreneur but something was holding me back? I just am so confused. Could I be an unhappy diver! Or actually a scanner.
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Re: help with my reward/nectar and .. am I a scanner and wha

Postby Genaldscanner » Thu Feb 06, 2014 12:30 pm

I probably have even more things to add to that list. I go through all of them because I wanted to know if that was my true calling.
I always thought I had 'A LOT' of interests- I do.. But its more like -- I 'GO THROUGH A LOT OF INTERESTS'. Like I haven't played rugby in a long time nor have I tried bjj, or american football, or boxing. Like I know a lot about them.. But when I do learn enough.. I just tend to lose interest and not have that 'drive' to learn more. Or let's talk about my website for giving out information to guys to pick up women. I made it, I gave it content, at that time I was very into learning about women and such, but when I stopped wanting to learn I forgot all about the website. - anyways to stop this behaviour?
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Re: help with my reward/nectar and .. am I a scanner and wha

Postby SquarePeg » Thu Feb 06, 2014 1:45 pm

Let's pretend you have a fiance who is Swedish. Well, there's the joke about how you get a Swedish girl to lose interest in sex. You marry her.

So along those lines, I propose that the way you get out of the habit about losing interest in something after you learn about it is to learn about that habit! Actually, I'm not 100% serious.

But close to it. Find a way to leverage your intense interest in learning something new. Believe it or not, some people have trouble learning something new. Others have absolutely not interest in learning something new.
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Re: help with my reward/nectar and .. am I a scanner and wha

Postby skannie » Fri Feb 07, 2014 2:14 pm

Hi Genald. I'm answering in two parts because you have brought up two different issues I want to respond to. here's the first part.

From your description you seem to be more of a scanner than a diver. It's normal for scanners to lose interest after they've spent a bit of time learning about something. That doesn't mean you can't have a successful life, but it's not going to be the same as a successful diver's life.

Above all, scanners need variety. Boredom is toxic to us.

As Barbara explains in Refuse to Choose, there are many different ways of getting enough variety in your life while also earning a living.

There are multiple streams of income, which can be from employment or self-employment or a mixture of both.

There are umbrella careers, where you get to do lots of different things under a single career title e.g. journalist, film maker, event organiser. Entrepreneur could come under this category too. And I think some kinds of scientists and engineers and researchers, who do intellectual research and laboratory work and project design and field work etc. etc.

There is the Good Enough Job route, where you have a pleasant and fairly interesting job, but do your most important and interesting stuff outside your job. Like Einstein, who worked in a patent office when he was developing his big theories. He didn't get to earn a living as a theoretical physicist until later. The good enough job is a great one for newly-discovered scanners. It takes the pressure off while you explore what it's means to be a scanner.

Or you can have a series of jobs in different fields. Maybe contracts for short-term projects, which are becoming much more common in many fields of work.

Or you could do different things in different places at different times of year. For example, you could work in a bar in a mountain ski resort in the winter while you ski in your free time, volunteer to clear ground and sow seeds on an organic farm in the spring, play music or set up sound systems at festivals all summer, then back to the farm for the autumn harvest.

etc. etc.

At 17 years old, or any age really, there is absolutely no need for you to pick one career that's going to last your whole life. You just need to decide what you're going to do for a while after you leave school. Do you go to college? Do you travel round the world? Do you do some volunteering? Do you get a job that looks kind of interesting, so you can support yourself, and learn how that kind of business works, and explore your other interests in your free time?

I suggest you re-read Refuse to Choose carefully, because it takes a long time for the message to really sink in. Start from the beginning again, or keep dipping into it, and do all the exercises and try out all the tools and methods to find out which ones are useful to you.

Don't worry too much about what kind of scanner you are. Those are only meant to be guidelines, and I think most of us are a mixture of types. But it's good to find out how quickly or slowly you like to move through different interests.

And get your Scanner's Daybook ready to write all your wonderful ideas in, so you don't lose them.

You probably need to spend most of your time studying right now, but make sure to schedule some time for exploring your other interests in at least a small way. Learning about different careers is a great interest, even if you don't find one to suit you. Maybe you could use your knowledge to help your classmates choose careers. Or perhaps career adviser would be a good job for you.
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Re: help with my reward/nectar and .. am I a scanner and wha

Postby skannie » Fri Feb 07, 2014 2:28 pm

Now the second part of my reply about a completely different issue.

Genald, I'm very glad you lost interest in that creepy pickup artist/game cult. I hope you never go back to it. Hopefully you've realised how shallow and unsatisfying and manipulative it is. Not to mention disrespectful to over half the people on this planet. And it's based entirely on pseudo-science.

If you ever want to have a proper adult relationship with an intelligent woman, or make a good impression on any future female colleagues, supervisors and bosses, then I suggest you start treating us like people, instead of objects that can be got and bodies that can be used.

I also think you ought to know about the general folk belief that men who brag about getting lots of women and lots of sex are actually immature losers who are getting none at all. Whether or not that's true in your case, I'm afraid a lot of people are likely to think it is if you keep on talking about it.

And Peg, I'm surprised at you, egging him on with your unfunny sexist joke. You're the father of a teenage daughter who will also soon be leaving school and going out into the world. Do you really want her and her friends to become the targets of teenage (or older) pick-up artists like Genald and the other boys he's given lessons to? (Well I hope Genald is now an ex-pickup artist.)

And I don't even want to think about what your joke implies about your own marriage, Peg. If it's true that women lose interest in sex after they get married, maybe it's because their husbands aren't very good at doing it.

And I'm really puzzled about why you both think it's ok to come out with this anti-woman stuff on a site that's owned by a woman and used by many women. We don't talk about sexism much here, but you can be sure that most, or probably all, of the women who come here to offer and receive help have experienced it and been negatively affected by it.

Men are welcome here of course. But please engage your brain before you post :wink:
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Re: help with my reward/nectar and .. am I a scanner and wha

Postby Genaldscanner » Sat Feb 08, 2014 10:45 am

Hey skannie - I learnt pick up because despite being confident already- I wanted ways to know how to get the opposite sex to like me a lot more. I can say as a 17 year old male I have slept with quite a few women. However I am not sexist, and respect the other sex. But what I learnt from pick up was, - not to care what people think, be who you are at all times. And also dress nice. :D but I value your opinion. I just hope that you understand that pick up is somewhat good..and bad at the same time. For exmple many women would not meet a great man if he didn't have the balls(confidence) to go and talk to her. + the journey doesn't end there. The guy has to know how to have a great conversation and much more. But yes. A lot of guys try to use these techniques to seduce women - one of them being me. :) and also thatnks for your answers in respect of the scanner topic, I value it very much
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Re: help with my reward/nectar and .. am I a scanner and wha

Postby SquarePeg » Sat Feb 08, 2014 9:36 pm

skannie wrote:-snip-
And Peg, I'm surprised at you, egging him on with your unfunny sexist joke. You're the father of a teenage daughter who will also soon be leaving school and going out into the world. Do you really want her and her friends to become the targets of teenage (or older) pick-up artists like Genald and the other boys he's given lessons to? (Well I hope Genald is now an ex-pickup artist.)

"Egging him on" is one way of looking at it. I prefer to call it "getting through to him." I merely wished to answer the question in the briefest amount of time allotted to me on a level he would identify with. Do you think if I answered in another way I would have caused him to not pick up women?

Also thank you for your concern about my daughter, but I'd be more concerned about what she'd do to Genald if he tried any of his "craft" on her. It seems to me more sexist to assume a woman would not be able to stand up for herself in such a situation or would be offended at a classic joke.

In any case, I sorry if my response offended you. But I intend to leave it in place as it is. I encourage you to report the post if it continues to offend you, and the moderator will remove it.

Peace
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Re: help with my reward/nectar and .. am I a scanner and wha

Postby Scenario Thinker » Sun Feb 09, 2014 6:05 am

One of the things Genald doesn't sound like, is judgmental.

At 17, you hopefully have a lot of life to live yet. It sounds like you're trying things out that you're going through at this point in your life. Lots of sports (including several martial arts), very interested in women (by the way that never seems to end ;) ). But, it's hard to predict where your life will take you at this point. If you're at all studious, I encourage you to continue school for as long as you can. Even if you end up hating it, at this point in your life it won't be a waste of time and you can try something else. Otherwise, maybe there's another route like an apprenticeship, the trades or technical training, or going the entrepreneurial route, which you already seem to have an interest in.

There are ways to make a living using a subset of your talents and interests, and still be able to experiment with others on the side (probably the most standard way, just because of the nature of most of the working world). Don't think you have to have a career using them all (plus, you may end up adding/subtracting some over time), or one where you're going from one talent to another.

Otherwise, I wouldn't worry about your habit of always losing interest and wanting to try something new (I think that's what you're saying). It may be just the point of life you're at, or you may be a scanner and end up doing it your entire life.

By the way, there are/have been a few men on this board over the years, and I haven't noticed them not engaging the organ above the waste. ;)
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Re: help with my reward/nectar and .. am I a scanner and wha

Postby Tituba » Sun Feb 09, 2014 7:04 am

Gerald - I suggest you read:

"I Could Do Anything If Only I Knew What It Was" by Barbara Sher (you probabably can find it at the library) - this will help you clarify your talents and interests

Then read "Wishcraft" - which will help you learn about creating a flow chart.

Both of these books will help you no matter what careers you choose in life. At 17, you will have many paths and changes ahead. These books will give you a good starting pad.
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Re: help with my reward/nectar and .. am I a scanner and wha

Postby BarbaraSher » Mon Nov 03, 2014 3:21 pm

skannie wrote:Now the second part of my reply about a completely different issue.

Genald, I'm very glad you lost interest in that creepy pickup artist/game cult. I hope you never go back to it. Hopefully you've realised how shallow and unsatisfying and manipulative it is. Not to mention disrespectful to over half the people on this planet. And it's based entirely on pseudo-science.

If you ever want to have a proper adult relationship with an intelligent woman, or make a good impression on any future female colleagues, supervisors and bosses, then I suggest you start treating us like people, instead of objects that can be got and bodies that can be used.

I also think you ought to know about the general folk belief that men who brag about getting lots of women and lots of sex are actually immature losers who are getting none at all. Whether or not that's true in your case, I'm afraid a lot of people are likely to think it is if you keep on talking about it.

And Peg, I'm surprised at you, egging him on with your unfunny sexist joke. You're the father of a teenage daughter who will also soon be leaving school and going out into the world. Do you really want her and her friends to become the targets of teenage (or older) pick-up artists like Genald and the other boys he's given lessons to? (Well I hope Genald is now an ex-pickup artist.)

And I don't even want to think about what your joke implies about your own marriage, Peg. If it's true that women lose interest in sex after they get married, maybe it's because their husbands aren't very good at doing it.

And I'm really puzzled about why you both think it's ok to come out with this anti-woman stuff on a site that's owned by a woman and used by many women. We don't talk about sexism much here, but you can be sure that most, or probably all, of the women who come here to offer and receive help have experienced it and been negatively affected by it.

Men are welcome here of course. But please engage your brain before you post :wink:


Well, how did I miss this? Thank you, Skannie! It's good to see someone stand up and declare real principles. Well done!
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Re: help with my reward/nectar and .. am I a scanner and wha

Postby BarbaraSher » Mon Nov 03, 2014 3:42 pm

SquarePeg wrote:
skannie wrote:-snip-
And Peg, I'm surprised at you, egging him on with your unfunny sexist joke. You're the father of a teenage daughter who will also soon be leaving school and going out into the world. Do you really want her and her friends to become the targets of teenage (or older) pick-up artists like Genald and the other boys he's given lessons to? (Well I hope Genald is now an ex-pickup artist.)

"Egging him on" is one way of looking at it. I prefer to call it "getting through to him." I merely wished to answer the question in the briefest amount of time allotted to me on a level he would identify with. Do you think if I answered in another way I would have caused him to not pick up women?

Also thank you for your concern about my daughter, but I'd be more concerned about what she'd do to Genald if he tried any of his "craft" on her. It seems to me more sexist to assume a woman would not be able to stand up for herself in such a situation or would be offended at a classic joke.

In any case, I sorry if my response offended you. But I intend to leave it in place as it is. I encourage you to report the post if it continues to offend you, and the moderator will remove it.

Peace


A gracious and enlightening response, Peg. Thank you.
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