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Wish: Get away to the Beach with my husband and recharge

PostPosted: Sun Dec 02, 2018 7:37 pm
by NickyZ
My husband suffers from Fibromialgia and was recently diagnosed with chronic depression. So I am basically the main bread winner. I love my husband very much and even though we are both in our 40's we are both feeling burnt out. Also both of us lost our grandmothers this year and financially we are just trying to keep our heads above water. Basically, the obstacle is financial but our wish is to run away for a bit to the beach. Nothing fancy - just romantic and quiet! I'm not sure how this wish and obstacle board works but anything is possible. :)

Re: Wish: Get away to the Beach with my husband and recharge

PostPosted: Sun Dec 02, 2018 10:39 pm
by pattyn
What's the real obstacle to getting to a beach? In other words, what specifically do you need the money for? We're pretty clever at finding ways to do things without money or making extra money in odd ways. And, big question, where do you live, so we can figure out how to get you to a beach near you?

Re: Wish: Get away to the Beach with my husband and recharge

PostPosted: Mon Dec 03, 2018 11:13 am
by Tituba
How far away from the ocean do you live? If far away, could going to a lake work?

Re: Wish: Get away to the Beach with my husband and recharge

PostPosted: Mon Dec 03, 2018 12:00 pm
by Elaine Glimme
Many beaches have nearby campsites. If your husband has fibromialgia, sleeping in a tent on the ground might not work, but I thought I'd toss the idea out anyway. Also, a day at the beach, and a romantic evening at home might be something easier to do and almost free.

I think your idea is a great one, by the way. I can't think of a better way to treat depression than by doing what you're wishing.

I've been depressed, and I've known a lot of people who are depressed. It's weird. Getting out is one of the best ways to lift depression, and depression makes the person just want to stay inside and sleep. Pain is another reason not to get out. I don't know if either issue applies to you, but, again, I'm tossing it out.

And, same question, how far away from the beach are you?


I hope you get your wish.

Re: Wish: Get away to the Beach with my husband and recharge

PostPosted: Mon Dec 03, 2018 12:15 pm
by Tituba
Social isolation is becoming more and more common.

Re: Wish: Get away to the Beach with my husband and recharge

PostPosted: Wed Dec 05, 2018 8:54 pm
by NickyZ
I'm an over thinker perhaps. My husband always says we never have enough money so I want to be practical so he doesn't worry and just enjoys himself and relaxes. We were living in New Jersey but moved to the city of Puebla, MX to lend a hand to his family. Its 2 hours from Mexico City. I'm an English teacher here.

Re: Wish: Get away to the Beach with my husband and recharge

PostPosted: Wed Dec 05, 2018 8:57 pm
by NickyZ
Its true I am in peri-menopause and I loved being around lots a people- I was such a socialite but now I realize it must be depression- I just want to be alone now. Isolation is becoming a very bad habit of mine. Part of me knows its no good :(

Re: Wish: Get away to the Beach with my husband and recharge

PostPosted: Wed Dec 05, 2018 9:01 pm
by NickyZ
Just seeing all the positive responses lifts my spirits. I am actually looking into any nearby lakes. Its just nice to feel support. Thank you everyone. I'm going to look at ideas-cheap but romantic and relaxing ones. :)

Re: Wish: Get away to the Beach with my husband and recharge

PostPosted: Wed Dec 05, 2018 10:55 pm
by pattyn
Bravo, Nicky! Bravo for finding the solution that's less stressful for your husband but still meets your need for a break. Bravo for recognizing and dealing with the depression that's fallen over you. And bravo for showing up and asking for what you need. I hope you have a wonderful, relaxing, restorative time off.

Re: Wish: Get away to the Beach with my husband and recharge

PostPosted: Fri Dec 07, 2018 10:49 am
by Elaine Glimme
I looked up Puebla on the net. I can see your problem. I'm guessing you're about three to four hours away from the Gulf of Mexico, and even farther from the Pacific Ocean. So visiting a lake would probably be an easier option, at least at first. Also, I'm guessing that moving from New Jersey to central Mexico is quite a change and may take a bit of getting used to. I'm glad you're teaching. That's a job that puts you in contact with people for a good chunk of the day.

So good luck.

Re: Wish: Get away to the Beach with my husband and recharge

PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2018 3:08 pm
by SquarePeg
Good luck to you and your husband, NickyZ!

I can't help with your specific wish, so if you want to skip reading the rest, that's fine...


My depression has increased over the years, but it definitely gets worse in November when the daylight hours dwindle in the northern hemisphere. (The term is Seasonal Affective Disorder, or "SAD". I'm not kidding.) I mention this because I'm hoping that's true for either you or your husband, too. It means that moving so far south puts you in a zone with much more daylight. Maybe the depression might lesson just by being in more sunlight.

Are either of you slightly religious? If so, you might get welcomed into the community more quickly by spending time with a local religious group.

Finally, forests are said to be healing:
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2 ... 161221.htm

So if the nearest water front is two hours away, but the nearest trail through a forest is nearby, a daily or weekly jaunt through the forest might be a better option.

Re: Wish: Get away to the Beach with my husband and recharge

PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2018 12:28 am
by BarbaraSher
I wonder if there's a house-sitting periodical you can find that will carry ads by people who want someone to watch over their summer property when they're away. That would at least take care of some of the expense. If you got lucky and found something suitable, you could really put a dent in some of that depression by doing some traveling from time to time, seeing new places and meeting new people.

Re: Wish: Get away to the Beach with my husband and recharge

PostPosted: Wed Jan 02, 2019 5:02 pm
by NickyZ
Hey all, really I love this community. Just seeing your support is encouraging. Well for this holiday vacation I contacted an old friend who has a house in Veracruz and we went smack-dab into the forest. It was amazing. I do suffer with SAD and living in Mexico has helped alot. Being in the forest reminded me of the Walt Whitman poem -- I went to the woods because I wanted to live and in the woods I realized that I hadn't lived at all. Thank you all. We definitely feel our batteries recharged. If I can help you all too perhaps just encouraging words I am here for you all!

Re: Wish: Get away to the Beach with my husband and recharge

PostPosted: Thu Jan 03, 2019 11:37 am
by Elaine Glimme
NickyZ, thanks for posting this. Depression is a problem for a lot of us (including me) and many of the suggestions people have written are great reminders for the rest of us.

Re: Wish: Get away to the Beach with my husband and recharge

PostPosted: Thu Jan 03, 2019 7:35 pm
by BarbaraSher
So glad to hear this, NickyZ. I read something online today you should see. I'll try to find it. It's from Japan and it's about being in the forest, how many studies show that it lowers blood pressure and blood sugar levels, and a whole bunch of other things. They recommend lying down on your stomach (or your back - I forget now) so the ground touches your upper body, for a little while every day. Sounds right to me!!!