Wish: To downsize and travel. Obstacle....

Tell us your wish, tell us your obstacle, and we'll try to come up with some useful suggestions to help you get into action toward your dream.

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MarieH1955
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Wish: To downsize and travel. Obstacle....

Post by MarieH1955 »

Hi - My wish is to downsize my life and travel fulltime in an RV. My obstacle is my dear husband.

We've been married over 35 years and we've been empty nesters for many years. Now that I'm in my mid 60's, I feel time closing in on me. My greatest fear is finding myself at the end of my life having never done the things I really want to do (I'm a scanner). So far, my parents and all but one of their siblings passed away by age 75. The women passed even younger. I find myself thinking "What if I only have another 10 years"?

Another part of my desire to travel is to do a lot of it on my own. I've been either in a relationship or raising kids since I was 18. I have never had the chance to just make decisions all on my own without having to take another person into consideration. I have done a little bit of traveling on my own and I have to say I love it! But, I love my husband and have no intention of ending my marriage - I'm just yearning for some freedom.

inspiresuccess
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Re: Wish: To downsize and travel. Obstacle....

Post by inspiresuccess »

Hi, I'm so glad you've figured out what you want to do. You mentioned that you have already done some traveling on your own. How did your husband handle that? It sounds like you're seeing this as an either or -- either travel and get divorced or not travel and stay married.

Can you tell us a little more about your relationship with your husband at this point and what his views are of you traveling alone?

We'd be happy to brainstorm things through with you to help you get some clarity.

Welcome to the Sher Boards!

Inspire Success

LalithaN
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Re: Wish: To downsize and travel. Obstacle....

Post by LalithaN »

MarieH1955 wrote:Hi - My wish is to downsize my life and travel fulltime in an RV. My obstacle is my dear husband.

Another part of my desire to travel is to do a lot of it on my own. I've been either in a relationship or raising kids since I was 18. I have never had the chance to just make decisions all on my own without having to take another person into consideration. I have done a little bit of traveling on my own and I have to say I love it! But, I love my husband and have no intention of ending my marriage - I'm just yearning for some freedom.


Hi,
Welcome to the board. I appreciate your yearning to do your favorite things when you can.
What makes you think that your husband is your obstacle for travelling?
Is that he can't handle himself when you are gone [some type of illness that he shouldn't be left alone ---like a severe diabetic, when nobody is around prone to skip medications and diet]. If so, won't your kids take care of him for some days?
Or can you arrange something for him, which captivates his interest, so he won't miss you.[For example, if he is interested in painting and has no guidance for that, just get him a ticket for a workshop by his favorite painter.]
How much loving a relationship is, sure people should have some breathing distance. That makes life beautiful.

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Elaine Glimme
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Re: Wish: To downsize and travel. Obstacle....

Post by Elaine Glimme »

Marie, have you asked your husband how he'd feel about being by himself for a while? Maybe he'd be fine with it. And he'd probably need a bit of time to get used to the idea. I would make the first trip a short one maybe just a couple of nights, and see how it goes.

I can see why you liked the video of Letty. I have a friend who also traveled all over in an RV. SHE wasn't alone, she brought her cat along. If you've been married for 35 years, you are probably pretty good at communicating with one another. Good luck.
Elaine Glimme - author - "Temporary Address" and "The Molly Chronicles"

SquarePeg
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Re: Wish: To downsize and travel. Obstacle....

Post by SquarePeg »

I'm also curious about the answers to the "husband" questions.

As a husband, I can give you my perspective. I'd be glad if my wife went away for travel. I'd be worried if she went alone; hopefully she'd go with a good friend.

While she's away I could do the "disruptive" work on the house that would annoy or disturb my wife if she were home to witness it. For example, I'd like to take out the toilet so I can turn it up-side-down and inspect / clean the part that connects to the drain. Painting the ceilings would also be on the agenda. Or even something simple like shampooing the carpets. These physical projects would alternate with blogging, or I'd start my book early.

I'd put the newspaper delivery on hold and maybe even the mail. Then go after the clutter.

BarbaraSher
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Re: Wish: To downsize and travel. Obstacle....

Post by BarbaraSher »

Or maybe you could start out by taking him with you, to something that interests him enormously, for just a couple of days. Maybe he'd beg off after a while and ask you to go without him. (The only problem is if he likes doing it so much he wants to go all the time!)

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