Page 3 of 3

PostPosted: Sat May 06, 2006 10:13 am
by elizagard
I don't have ADD as far as I know but can be absent-minded. What helps is writing everything down. And trying to keep things in the same place all the time so that I have to search less often.

You learn whatever you let yourself repeat.

PostPosted: Sat May 06, 2006 5:20 pm
by An8el
I had a boyfriend who was ADD before there was a name for it. To help him do stuff, I used to follow him around, and just pick up anything he was carrying while he was looking for something else. Later I got him a "purse" to carry things while he was looking for things that he adopted as an indispensable tool. Otherwise he was incapable of doing anything because he'd lose the tool he was carrying while he was looking for the next one! The reason I could put up with someone like him, was because I was a little ADD-like myself. The difference was I could concentrate if I wanted to, but I hardly ever wanted to. I used to think it was a training issue, how to use ones attention. That idea has pretty much worked, but it took a long time to train myself to think and act differently. When I realized that I had a resistance to this idea - (that, I was learning to do whatever I allowed myself to repeat) I decided to pick one thing that I really liked to do - something that didn't take a lot of time to do - and commit to doing it at least once every single day as a routine that I chose to do. I had something against establishing a routine. It was really hard when I first started, but I got better with practice. Now it's easy. But it drove me nuts and made me really mad when I started trying to do it. Previous to that, everything I did was structured by someone else, or something outside of myself. At the start, it was really hard to do the structuring by myself. Now I really like it! I make nearly everything be self-structured. But I've been practicing for the last twenty years now. It's allowed me to be more responsible for my creativity.

Re: You learn whatever you let yourself repeat.

PostPosted: Sun May 07, 2006 4:12 am
by paralegalgirl
An8el wrote: Now I really like it! I make nearly everything be self-structured. But I've been practicing for the last twenty years now. It's allowed me to be more responsible for my creativity.
I find that very interesting. When Barbara wrote previously about scanner behavior, she recommended an approach like yours. I believe in that approach and have seen it work for myself. My family, in particular, my dad is unsupportive and will often sabotage any project I begin. This is not an inborn, genetic quality. My scanner behavior is a neurotic quality I've developed as a survival behavior. I have to use lots of tools to stay on track, but it is really worth it! Completing a project adds to your self-esteem, and no one can take that away! PLG

PostPosted: Mon Jun 05, 2006 8:00 pm
by annjelise
I have no problem with discipline or time-management when it comes to my job, but it does not exist in my personal life. I have virtually no self-discipline in my personal life. Around others I may seem to look like I have it all together, but in my home there is nothing but disorder. My mother always called it laziness, and it may be to a degree, but I'm so busy chasing the next thought in my head that I don't have time to make my bed, finish the dishes, or hang my clothes up. Everything winds up half-finished. You should see me trying to clean my house! My brain says "do it now before you forget," but that only works on the idea I conjured up in my head. I always have to go back and clean up all of my messes, but it may simpler if I just got a maid to clean up after me because I just don't seem to make time for anything except researching a new topic, or working on the song I just composed in my head. I really may just be too smart for my own too good, because although I like my house being clean and presentable at all times, my mental interests get in the way. Thank God I can't stand living in a pigsty, or my house would never be clean!!

A work-solo, ADD, absent-mindedness dilemma.

PostPosted: Thu Aug 17, 2006 4:48 pm
by Yachtsnbeaches
I never have had an ADD test, but I feel I may have some of it. One of my problems is absent-mindedness too. I could add lack of determination, depression now and then, and probably a little bit of each scanner profile's items. For the last few years I have been reading self-improvement material. From Steven Covey books, Byron Ketty audio workshops, till last year when I came across to \"Wishcraft\". I can't recall how many different approaches I had tried to improve myself in accomplishing/finishing personal tasks or projects. It has been a pattern in my whole life, that I would start with full energy, hope, and enthusiasm, and few weeks later I get discouraged. Last February I decided to try something new, inspired by Barbara Success Team concept. I hire a Life Coach, to help me clarify what I really want to do. It has been a good experience. Once we identified a field, I decided to start working on starting my own seminar company. The coach helped me improve my drafts, to the point it is ready for an editor to do the final touches. We recently started planing a brochure, Power point presentation, etc. Things seem to move forward. I should be going crazy! Well, the truth is that I don't feel like that. I'm in my house, I know what the coach assignments are, I know what he expect me to do with the brochure, and so forth, but I'm stuck. Absence has kicked in for the last 2 weeks. It doesn't motivate me the fact that we have weekly sessions. Nor that I have to report my progress every 48/72 hs. I have to push myself to focus 15' in the brochure for instance. No time management or organizational systems will work. The only thing I feel it may work with me, is to have somebody closer to me, that can actually caught me when absent, seat with me (like with kids), and put me back on track for 15 minutes. Close supervision? Tutoring? :idea: My question for somebody out there is: Do you know anything that can help me on daily basis to improve absence - mindedness, and move forward with tasks or projects? Therapy won't hit the target. Counseling won't do it either. Coaching will fall short. Books, timers, notes, reminders, won't motivate me too much. Thanks for your time. yachtsnbeaches

Re: A work-solo, ADD, absent-mindedness dilemma.

PostPosted: Thu Aug 17, 2006 6:20 pm
by Jezicka
Yachtsnbeaches wrote:No time management or organizational systems will work. The only thing I feel it may work with me, is to have somebody closer to me, that can actually caught me when absent, seat with me (like with kids), and put me back on track for 15 minutes. Close supervision? Tutoring? :idea: My question for somebody out there is: Do you know anything that can help me on daily basis to improve absence - mindedness, and move forward with tasks or projects? Therapy won't hit the target. Counseling won't do it either. Coaching will fall short. Books, timers, notes, reminders, won't motivate me too much. Thanks for your time. yachtsnbeaches
Yachts-- have you read 'Refuse to Choose' yet? It sounds to me like you've simply gotten what you wanted to out of this project and are ready to move on. I know for myself, as a Scanner, it's the idea part of any project that really motivates me. After I've come up with the idea, made some plans, perhaps dabbled in putting together something for it-- I'm done. That's my 'nectar' - the brain-storming and coming up with new ideas. Of course it's frustrating in some ways to be this way-- I'm always seeing successful products that are similar or identical to things I thought up at some point and then dropped-- but then I ask myself, would I really have wanted to spend the months and years of routine, nit-picking detail needed to carry out any of my plans? The answer is, "NO WAY!" Of course it's possible that the seminar business really is what you want and it's resistance that's stopping you. If so you should be able to use some of the techniques in 'Wishcraft' to help get you back on track.

Re: A work-solo, ADD, absent-mindedness dilemma.

PostPosted: Fri Aug 18, 2006 9:17 am
by Yachtsnbeaches
[read 'Refuse to Choose' yet? It sounds to me like you've simply gotten what you wanted to out of this project and are ready to move on. I know for myself, as a Scanner, it's the idea part of any project that really motivates me. After I've come up with the idea, made some plans, perhaps dabbled in putting together something for it-- I'm done. That's my 'nectar' - the brain-storming and coming up with new ideas.] Hi Jezicka, I haven't read Refuse to Choose yet. What is in it that you feel it may move me to ACTION? Of course I will follow your suggestion and buy the book anyways. On the other hand, I totally share the same feelings regarding the brainstorming and starting up of ideas. [Of course it's frustrating in some ways to be this way-- I'm always seeing successful products that are similar or identical to things I thought up at some point and then dropped-- but then I ask myself, would I really have wanted to spend the months and years of routine, nit-picking detail needed to carry out any of my plans? The answer is, "NO WAY!"] I have been there too. The difference between us is that I still would love to see things completed. It seems I don't have what it takes to go through that long, exhausting, second part of most of the projects. The ACTION/DOING step! I'm an eternal learner! No a Doer. Some member in this board said something like: It is when the task stop being fun and enjoyable, and start feeling as work, that scanners become boring, uninterested, and frustrated with the task/project. [quote: Of course it's possible that the seminar business really is what you want and it's resistance that's stopping you. If so you should be able to use some of the techniques in 'Wishcraft' to help get you back on track.] I will definitely take a look again of that chapter. It seems like most of the time I still like the final end of most of the projects/ideas. I can see myself doing it. It is the gap between brainstorming/first steps, and the final outcome of any project that I have been struggling most of my life. How did I make it through high school and College? I just don't know how to handle it. Delegating? Partnering up with others? Thanks Jezicka again. Your feedback made my day and weekend. Loneliness started kicking in lately.

PostPosted: Fri Aug 18, 2006 10:53 am
by Laura
Ang8l's post really made me think. Kids are heavily socialized by the school system and by their parents - by practically any institution they come in contact with, in fact. It's no surprise, then, that those of us that had a particularly negative experience with that resist 'authority' or routine at times, even when it's our own. Most of the things I've accomplished in my life have been because they were expected by others, or I had to do them to make a living, or simply the presence of others expecting results got me moving. I don't think there's anything wrong with that per se, as long as you're not doing things you don't care about simply because of peer pressure, but I'd like to get to the point where I stick to my own priorities because I know best for myself, not because of fear or shame or whatever.

PostPosted: Fri Aug 18, 2006 5:03 pm
by DStaub11
For the possibility of resistance, I also recommend the chapter on resistance in Barbara's book Live the Life You Love. The best treatment of resistance in any of the self-help books I've read, and the most helpful to my resistance problems, which are almost nonexistent at this point!!! Do Mi

PostPosted: Sat Aug 19, 2006 8:55 am
by Yachtsnbeaches
Thank you DStaub11 and Laura for your inputs. Looking forward for something that will encourage ACTION! Y.

PostPosted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 10:34 pm
by SomeDay
In addition to being easily bored, I tend to eat when I'm bored. *yikes*
!!!!!! OMG I do that! I still haven't managed to get a copy of refuse to choose (waiting for my birthday!), is that in there? Far out, I eat CONSTANTLY, mostly due to boredom, I thought I was the only person in the world who did that! Sorry, I was just so surprised to read that - it's just something I always knew I did but just thought I was weird. People at my work are constantly making fun of my because my desk is like a cornerstore of junkfood!

Organising/Time and Discipline

PostPosted: Wed Aug 23, 2006 5:43 pm
by altruologist
I have always struggled with time and project management. I am so grateful to Barbara Sher for providing some real insight into why I have had this struggle. I have used so may 'systems' to try to help me with time and project management but none have worked. I was intrigued by a comment in Barbara's book about computers and their applicability for Scanners. I have used PDAs and Outlook, Franklin Planners, Getting Things Done among many others. I realise I am not well served by Outlook despite its prevalence in the business world. Outlook and other computer based systems are too rigid and not able to accurately reflect the way my mind works. I have since begun using a Filofax and incorporated my projects and Scanner Day Book in the one binder. I am now a bit of a luddite in the firm but I am happily capturing ideas, drawing diagrams, dreaming and goal setting with a pen and paper. Such a simple thing but it has made such a change in my life.

PostPosted: Wed Aug 23, 2006 10:08 pm
by barefootwriter
Altru, I just posted to my blog about folderless e-mail organizing in Outlook. See link below.

Folder less organising in Outlook

PostPosted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 4:34 pm
by altruologist
Hi Barefoot, Great post! I found this very useful and I greatly appreciate you alerting me to it.

Re: problems with organizing/time management/discipline?

PostPosted: Fri May 06, 2016 11:18 am
by elizagard
More to think about regarding schedule and organization.