"So what do you do?"

[AmiiA]

Oops! Sorry I didn't mean to bold that whole section... forgive me I'm new to this...

[merlin pendragon]

Kazbah, I'm shocked that surveys would cause you so much trouble! (not really - I do a lot of them). Actually, I've found that the whole \"science\" of taking surveys has flaws, because they don't offer enough choices or think out the possible responses well enough. Most surveys that I take (and I am on several online survey panels) seem to be written to prove a particular point. I continue to take them, despite the frustration, so that I can get to the field at the end where they ask for feedback on the survey. Then, I let them have it! I also dislike the fact that it's becoming increasingly common to find surveys asking for exact, specific information on personal questions (like age, address, etc.). Given the increasing proliferation of electronic databases, and the specific nature of the personal questions, it is all to possible that this information is being stored, correlated, and tracked to build a profile on the respondents. Big Brother does not need to know exactly what you think of the latest advertising, or what you bought in the last 3 months, or what your exact vacation plans are for the Christmas holiday season.

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

I've never liked this question either, so for a while my stock answer was, \"I don't, I be\". I'd usually get one of two responses: a blank questioning look, or a big smile and the start of an interesting conversation. Either way it gave me some clues about the other person right off the bat.

[dani]

Another great thread that I've missed! I just realized that I'm rarely in a position to have to answer that question. Part of that is that I tend to chat up people who are in a location for a specific reason. Take the grocery store, where you're both looking for the same thing, so you have a brief conversation about the product. All of you probably do this. Taking that a step forward, most of the people I might encounter are at a community group, my university info sessions, the neighbors. The conversation tends to center on specific issues and rarely gets into \"what do you do.\" Another reason why I don't encounter this as much, aside from leading a sheltered life , is that over the past couple of decades people have been downsized, changed jobs frequently, hold two jobs to make ends meet, etc. So our culture is changing and it seems that people are more aware that \"what do you do\" could hit a raw nerve. The situation where this is most predominant is a group setting where you introduce yourself. In the past, that has been awful because of the terrible circumstances I was in for so many years. I just remembered a tip from a hard of hearing man at a long-ago support group: \"walk up and ask a question.\" While that was a way to cope with a specific disability, it seems like it may be a solution. By taking the initiative first, you attain more control over the conversation. For what it's worth... Best, dani

[SantaFeScanner]

I've heard that in Europe, asking someone on first acquaintance \"What do you do?\" is considered the height of rudeness, equivalent to asking someone, \"How much money do you have in your checking account right now?\" Whether this is true or not, one answer I have to the above question ? aside from the truth, which in my case is, \"Nurseryman, freelance writer, and professional psychic\" ? is, \"Oh, I never discuss business when I'm out socializing!\"

[lyletlachmuth]

Hello all! Just found this terrific forum. As a way of introduction. My answer to the question, \"what do you do?\" depends on the context. If it's a networking event I usually say, \"I\"m an Unsticking Coach\" If people want to know more I answer -- that's in the Life / Career Genre. In fact, like all Scanners I am many, many things. I am the Brand called ME! Me is / does these roles: Life / Career Coach, Change Implementation Consultant, Freelance Writer, Speaker, Trainer. Those are my 'formal' paid for roles. I am also a photographer, poet, painter (water colours and acrylics). I have been a Chemical Technologist, programmer, systems analyst, computer trainer -- and lots more. I'm excited to be here. Ciao, LL

[SarahC]

I arrive in fascinating discussions late, is what I usually do. But seriously... I like the one about the proctologist. My favorite answer is: \"It's medical. You don't really want to know.\" Which of my day job, is true. Although, actually, it's not a question I get asked very much outside of work, now I come to think of it. And the kind of person who DOES ask it, I have learned, doesn't want to hear about my art, music, spirituality and the (to me) really interesting stuff I do with my life any more than they'd want to hear about, say, gallbladder dissection. I had a friend who, again, really was in this line of work, whose response to \"What do you do?\" was to look them very carefully up and down in a way that made it clear he was visually estimating their height, then say: \"I work for XXXX funeral parlor. And you?\"

[wild rose]

I've heard that in Europe, asking someone on first acquaintance "What do you do?" is considered the height of rudeness,...

No, unfortunately, it is not. When you meet new people, it is very likely to be discussed in Europe as well. My husband did not want to accompany me, when I was meeting fellow students, as he has not been to university and he did not want to discuss it over and over again. Apart from that, different groups are glad to talk about their special subject and sometimes they do not seem to know what to do, if someone is different, however. I like this discussion very much! And I think the climate is about to change a little bit, because of all the reasons you mentioned, like having different jobs during a working lifetime AND BECAUSE Of ALL OF US coming out of the closet, no longer hiding our scanner-mentality! It is so much fun sometimes, is it not?! Talking about it: this "coming out" thing is important, I think. My family e.g. always thought of me as the problem child. Now I just quit telling them about indecisiveness or the like. I proudly talk about my latest projects. Suddenly I´m a grown up person. So being prepared with some good or weird answers really helps a lot!

[Jimsan]

I like professional dilettante. I usually say I'm living off the land.

[expatana]

It may be that in Germany the question is still asked. That would make some sense to me considering the go-getter culture there. But in some Mediterranean countries the question is just not asked in many circles, and is indeed considered rude. People do ask about \"hobbies\" or things you like. If it happens to be your career, all the better. Not being a scanner, I don't hang around here much, but it's interesting to see what's happening. Ana

[a_mock]

If you are under 50 say you are retired. It's impressive.

[expatana]

If you are under 50 say you are retired. It's impressive.

Oh would that I were!!! Mmmm ... maybe if I start saying it, there'll be some kind of "manifestation" thing that happens and it'll happen ... ? Ok, probably not. But hey, some say it works. Ana

[Coriander]

What would happen when they asked 'so what do you do ?' you just answer - 'Why?"

I am coming to this topic late as I'm a new person to the forums. Just wanted to say that I love this! My husband (also a scanner) answers stuff in this manner all the time, and it used to annoy me, but now I understand why he does it! And am learning his language! -Cori

[lty]

I like that reply ! But what do we say if the person says, \" oh, I thought you looked like a teacher to me - is that what you do ?\" uh-oh..

[Jo2short]

If you are under 50 say you are retired. It's impressive.

I retired at 42, but it never worked for me. Maybe you have to own your own jet. For a while, I tried saying "as little as possible". Then I tried "whatever I want". Then I tried "we're restoring an old house", but they wanted to know how long we had been doing it (10 years), when we would be finished (never) and even how much it would cost (who knows). I went back to saying I'm retired, but I might as well say I'm unemployed; the treatment is the same. All are conversation killers. I refuse to ask them what they do; I consider it to be rude. It is close to asking "how much do you earn?" Unfortunately, rudeness has become a cultural norm. I've had strangers ask what we paid for the house.