Scanners with children

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Scanners with children

Postby Caitlin » Tue Dec 28, 2010 3:30 am

I will probably get told off for writing this. But I wonder if it is my Scanner tendencies which make me so impatient with my child. I just find the daily grind so deadly boring: get her up, on the toilet, supervise her dressing, breakfast, activities. I always have felt bored, I am feeling now after 5 years of full time mummying its time to do something more exciting, which I suppose my writing provides but I just have such a low boredom threshold for boring repetitive tasks. Or is this something all parents feel?
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Re: Scanners with children

Postby Ulla » Tue Dec 28, 2010 3:47 am

Caitlin wrote:I will probably get told off for writing this. But I wonder if it is my Scanner tendencies which make me so impatient with my child. I just find the daily grind so deadly boring: get her up, on the toilet, supervise her dressing, breakfast, activities. I always have felt bored, I am feeling now after 5 years of full time mummying its time to do something more exciting, which I suppose my writing provides but I just have such a low boredom threshold for boring repetitive tasks. Or is this something all parents feel?


Perhaps it is a little of both.
I was a scanner mother before I knew about scanners. Well my child is now 20 years old and is living on her own.
The advice that I can give you is: if you have the feeling for some change - do it.
Most of the time raising her I have been self-employed. She grew up with my business activities and it provided her with some good and strong attitudes.
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Re: Scanners with children

Postby SquarePeg » Tue Dec 28, 2010 9:58 am

I thought the subject implied something else entirely, such as when the children develop into scanners themselves. First it's gymnastics, then horses, then art, then piano, then karate, but also trying to continue to do everything and remain perfect at them all. It may be boring now, but imagine if she takes after you! Then what? Buckle your seat belt!

Anyway, hang in there. Get a baby sitter every so often as a treat. Remember, nothing's permanent.
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Re: Scanners with children

Postby Caitlin » Wed Dec 29, 2010 10:51 am

What I meant was: 'do scanners get bored more quickly with bringing up children because after a while they feel "been there, done that, time for something else." ' I don't know what 'normal' people think about bringing up children, they just don't seem to get so irritated.

Yes, it could be both being a scanner and a parent that is irritating, although some people have loads of children and don't mind. I know one woman locally who has 8 kids and loves the hassle and constant drama of them :?

It is much better than when daughter was little. Me and my husband both worked part time in jobs and part time caring for her. Sounds idyllic, doesn't it? But all it meant was one of us worked in the daytime, one in the evening, and we were shuttling in and out hardly seeing each other- ships that passed in the night- it was like a treadmill. Its easier now I'm at home full time and he's at work full time, we can just concentrate on one thing.

I think I'm just tired and needing a break and a change, but at least she has started school now. If I was a healthy person full of energy, it would be better but I'm not, so its harder. I don't want to be constantly irritated by her, she is such a cutie, but I can't help it, I get bored so easily.
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Re: Scanners with children

Postby momof3plus » Thu Dec 30, 2010 2:48 pm

Can't write much (4 kids! haha), but YES i totally feel ya.

It can get excrutiatingly boring!!! I feel like part of me (a big part!) really wants routine because with so many different ages I want things to flow smoothly, but it's boring doing the same thing day in and day out.

I'll be back to post more later, but no ur not alone.
Be YOU Again.
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Re: Scanners with children

Postby Caitlin » Thu Jan 06, 2011 1:19 pm

Thanks Momof3plus. I think it is just people really do not know the daily grind of having children, before they have them. They think its all playing, or something. My friends without children say 'oh, I'm SO tired, I'm SO ill I have to go to bed.' We don't, do we, we know the meaning of tired and just carry on when ill.

But anyway, my life's definitely looking up since she started school and she is happier and less bored. Now, I need to earn some money. I've just bought that book, 'Making a Living Without a Job.' Hopefully its good!
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Re: Scanners with children

Postby Vickih » Mon Jan 17, 2011 6:13 am

My little one is 9 months old and whilst I love him dearly... yes it's very easy to get bored with the same old routine, scanner or not! It's not the caring for baby that's the problem for me, it's the endless cooking and cleaning, washing and ironing that comes with children!

I don't think we're alone in feeling like this. A lot of mums at the group I go to admit that they work or go to classes so that they have more than just playing 'mum.'
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Re: Scanners with children

Postby Kirsten » Tue Jan 18, 2011 9:28 pm

As a mom of 5 ( 11, 9, 9, 4, 4). I can empathize with this. My biggest struggle as a scanner is also the daily grind of laundry and dishes and food and tidying (I think someone said ironing? that went out the window a long time ago! :). I find the actual parenting an interesting challenge most of the time, because my kids are all different and they are changing all the time. It probably helps that "parenting" is one of my many scanner interests. However, the housework that goes with it is not and that's the challenge I always bump up against.

I think as long as we are looking at our children as unique human beings who are constantly changing and developing and we reconnect with them and remember how much we love them that we won't get bored (at least not permanently! :). That doesn't mean it's not a ton of hard work and that it's hard sometimes to see the fact that we are growing new beautiful human beings amidst the mountains of laundry and the constant demands on our time.

I haven't been in paid employment, but I've kept very busy with highly demanding and rewarding volunteer positions. This keeps my scanner self happy, but it does feel like a constant push-pull between my outside interests, the needs of my family and the household demands.

One thing I started doing with my kids (and need to do again) was go on "dates" with them individually. I find if I have a chance to do something with them where they feel special and heard I become re-aquainted with their unique "human-beingness" which helps me cope better with their needs.

Not sure how much of this is helpful, but just to know that you aren't alone!

All the best,
Kirsten
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Re: Scanners with children

Postby Caitlin » Thu Jan 20, 2011 3:25 pm

Yes, its probably all mums, not just scanners :? . Its just that I read in Refuse to Choose that for scanners boredom is like being killed (or something like that). 'the endless cooking and cleaning, washing and ironing'... yep! With children A is followed by B then C then D then E then F then G etc.... every day!

However, school comes around eventually yay! And babies do sleep, dear Vicki do make the most of the time he sleeps cos one day he'll stop taking naps and be on the go all day :?

But we are all doing good in the world by bringing up our children, so we deserve recognition and praise! :idea:
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Re: Scanners with children

Postby Vickih » Mon Jan 31, 2011 8:29 am

Kirsten wrote:As a mom of 5 ( 11, 9, 9, 4, 4). I can empathize with this. My biggest struggle as a scanner is also the daily grind of laundry and dishes and food and tidying (I think someone said ironing? that went out the window a long time ago! :). I find the actual parenting an interesting challenge most of the time, because my kids are all different and they are changing all the time. It probably helps that "parenting" is one of my many scanner interests. However, the housework that goes with it is not and that's the challenge I always bump up against.

I think as long as we are looking at our children as unique human beings who are constantly changing and developing and we reconnect with them and remember how much we love them that we won't get bored (at least not permanently! :). That doesn't mean it's not a ton of hard work and that it's hard sometimes to see the fact that we are growing new beautiful human beings amidst the mountains of laundry and the constant demands on our time.

I haven't been in paid employment, but I've kept very busy with highly demanding and rewarding volunteer positions. This keeps my scanner self happy, but it does feel like a constant push-pull between my outside interests, the needs of my family and the household demands.
One thing I started doing with my kids (and need to do again) was go on "dates" with them individually. I find if I have a chance to do something with them where they feel special and heard I become re-aquainted with their unique "human-beingness" which helps me cope better with their needs.

Not sure how much of this is helpful, but just to know that you aren't alone!

All the best,
Kirsten


Yes!! Whenever I take time for myself I'm always aware that I "should" be doing something else and often I don't enjoy my me time so much because of the nagging feeling that other things need doing more. I guess that's my biggest scanner challenge. Less time spent on me = more build up on the list of things I'd rather be doing.

Only thing that keeps me sane is knowing I'm getting to enjoy my son and that I'm very lucky to have the experience of being a mum and watching my baby grow. (And he is growing oh so quickly!)
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