.

What should you do when you want to do everything? If you're fascinated by everything, and you've been called dabbler, dilettante, undisciplined, indecisive etc., this forum is for you.

Moderators: Tituba, BarbaraSher

.

Postby littlewren » Wed May 18, 2011 1:36 am

,
Last edited by littlewren on Sat Jun 23, 2012 11:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.
littlewren
New Poster
New Poster
 
Posts: 8
Joined: Mon Feb 22, 2010 5:30 pm

Re: how to overcome indecision?

Postby Me and my Hamster » Wed May 18, 2011 2:26 pm

Why not study something that would allow you to travel and try live overseas in a field your skills and knowledge/education would be employed?
For the house... you can spare some money and see if you really want to put it in a house.
Why not date a little more and see how you feel about that...? Nothing prevents you from coming back to a single life if you don't feel comfortable.
For the job... maybe a good enough job to get money and time to study-> back to my first sentence.

This is just a suggestion. I'm suggesting this because it is exactly what I intend to do. More or less. I'm a very indecisive person and I'm also a 30 y-o who's single. I want to study everything, and it's been a hard choice (I'm going back to study in September if I'm accepted at Uni.) and I had to choose between Arabic, Japanese, physics and other stuff. But according to my background and what I'd like to do, I decided to do European studies, with teaching in English, Danish and German. I hope to find a job in communication, languages, multicultural environment and possibly travels. if I have time, maybe an extra course in Arabic.
I don't know what my career will look like, and I don't know what job I'll get. I don't target a particular job, but a field, an area where I can be employed and hopefully move from one job to one other. For the rest, I do other stuff on my own time.

Choices are hard to make, but once it's done it's a relief. Especially when you know that you'll get the opportunity to do a lot, and most of what you'd like to. I think it's a matter of organization.
I'm still indecisive, but I have a guideline for, let's say, the next three years.

I hope you'll manage to do something, and take some decisions. ;-)
Me and my Hamster
Experienced Poster
Experienced Poster
 
Posts: 88
Joined: Mon May 17, 2010 4:42 am
Location: Somewhere in France

Re: how to overcome indecision?

Postby tinyhouse » Thu Jul 07, 2011 8:51 am

First suggestion: get rid of the "shoulds" from your list. There are some basic needs to be met but we're talking about YOUR
life here!
Some opening ideas: In Barbara's Wishcraft book ther was an exercise of just looking around your room/apartment and see what you're surrounded with. Books (about what ?), paintings, photos, crafts, magazines (see books), etc.

What did you want to do when you were a kid? Even "outlandish" fantasies are ok because they give you clues.

What would you do if you won the lottery, etc. so no money restrictions?

Ok, enough mind expanding. Sometimes that can make it worse (lots of info but tough to process). In the world of work, what have you enjoyed most? Not even jobs per se but aspects of jobs (dealing with the public vs. working alone, multitasking vs.concentrating,etc.).
As I'm about to run out of time on a library computer I'll leave you with that for now. Look forward to hearing more!
DLB
tinyhouse
New Poster
New Poster
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Sat Jul 02, 2011 8:17 am

Re: how to overcome indecision?

Postby tinyhouse » Thu Jul 07, 2011 8:51 am

First suggestion: get rid of the "shoulds" from your list. There are some basic needs to be met but we're talking about YOUR
life here!
Some opening ideas: In Barbara's Wishcraft book ther was an exercise of just looking around your room/apartment and see what you're surrounded with. Books (about what ?), paintings, photos, crafts, magazines (see books), etc.

What did you want to do when you were a kid? Even "outlandish" fantasies are ok because they give you clues.

What would you do if you won the lottery, etc. so no money restrictions?

Ok, enough mind expanding. Sometimes that can make it worse (lots of info but tough to process). In the world of work, what have you enjoyed most? Not even jobs per se but aspects of jobs (dealing with the public vs. working alone, multitasking vs.concentrating,etc.).
As I'm about to run out of time on a library computer I'll leave you with that for now. Look forward to hearing more!
DLB
tinyhouse
New Poster
New Poster
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Sat Jul 02, 2011 8:17 am

Re: how to overcome indecision?

Postby Unity1 » Thu Jul 07, 2011 9:58 am

Any decision could potentially be the right or wrong decision. It's only after you've taken it that you'll know.

e.g. people are late for the holiday of their dreams and miss the flight only to discover the plane crashed.

Or had a relationship breakup, thought their life was full of bad luck, then had another accident and in hospital meet their soulmate.

Paralysing decisions. Try these excercises.

1. 10's

Using dating as an example. Think in terms of 10.

How would you feel in 10 minutes if you didn't have a date or be married?
10 weeks?
10 months?
10 years?

2. Imagine

Another excercise which brought me surprising results was this one -

Imagine you have 1 year to live - what do you need to do?
Imagine you have 1 month to live -
Imagine you have 1 week to live-
Imagine you have 1 day to live -
Imagine you have 1 hour to live -
Unity1
Mega Poster
Mega Poster
 
Posts: 1662
Joined: Wed Jun 29, 2011 3:39 pm

Re: how to overcome indecision?

Postby kashtanka » Thu Jul 07, 2011 7:34 pm

Think about the decisions you're made so far and select the ones that have brought you the best results. Also, think about what Barbara says, when you love to do something, it's a gift. One decision you could make is whether you want to pursue something you're gifted at, or if you want to branch out and do something else completely. After you make that decision, go on to the next decision, until you have elimated many things from your list and it'll be simpler to make a choice. Another thought...if nothing is standing out in your mind about what you'd like to take in college, why go at all? What would be the purpose of going? If it's to enjoy taking something fun, that's great and a lot of thought doesn't have to go into it. If it's for a career change, think hard about what you're getting into and count the costs. The decision about looking for a mate has to come from you heart, IMO.
kashtanka
Mega Poster
Mega Poster
 
Posts: 1750
Joined: Mon Jul 10, 2006 9:15 pm
Location: New York

Re: how to overcome indecision?

Postby Unity1 » Fri Jul 08, 2011 12:51 am

I wouldn't be surprised that all our replies with different ideas will cause more indecision :D
Unity1
Mega Poster
Mega Poster
 
Posts: 1662
Joined: Wed Jun 29, 2011 3:39 pm

Re: how to overcome indecision?

Postby tinyhouse » Fri Jul 08, 2011 11:34 am

I meant to include a narrowing-down tool in my last post. Richard Bolle's "What Color Is My Parachute?" has a prioritizing grid where you choose between two things at a time, not twenty! It is in any edition of his book and online. Even intuitively deciding between two choices can be hard for us confused scanners. When that happens, I ask myself "what if I had to do this everyday, all day...?" Even if you can just narrow it down some, that's a start. You can use this to decide what work tasks you like most/least, too. Oh yeah-for a long time all I could do was say what I didn't like. Make a list of those then flip them (find their opposites). See what comes up!
DLB
tinyhouse
New Poster
New Poster
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Sat Jul 02, 2011 8:17 am


Return to Refuse to Choose: The Forum for Scanners

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests