Refuse To Choose? Can't Seem To Choose

What should you do when you want to do everything? If you're fascinated by everything, and you've been called dabbler, dilettante, undisciplined, indecisive etc., this forum is for you.

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Refuse To Choose? Can't Seem To Choose

Postby nancyb03244 » Thu Aug 25, 2011 3:25 pm

Wow! Thank you Barbara for your awesome book, "Refuse To Choose"
I always wondered what was wrong with me....I truly thought I had ADD. Over the past years I have had more jobs, more careers, more starts and stops than any one I know. I just think I've got it....a career decision, then after a few months lose interest and change my mind. This happens to drive me, and everyone around me, crazy!
Your book has at least openned my eyes to why I am the way I am. Whether this is good or not, I'm still undecided. I am looking at a future right now with no clear arrival plans whereI can actually say, "This is what I've accomplished."
I have sooo many interests but seem to work my way around the same four or five...I feel like I am constantly chasing my tail and getting no where fast. So to be a scanner......ummmm I just dont know. I have a hard time making a makes me very uncomfortable. I have had many great opportunities and I feel like I've just walked away and missed the boat so to speak. I take jobs that aren't that wonderful for me, but they are comfortable. I would appreciate and welcome any advice...any tips from anyone who has experienced the same. From what I've read in "Refuse To Choose" I fit the Sybil/Jack of All Trades/Wanderer description. So, in a nutshell, this scanner stuff makes me nuts. Each morning I wake up and I truly wonder, "who am I and where am i going? What is my purpose? do I even have one?"
The confused mind does this confused mind.
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Re: Refuse To Choose? Can't Seem To Choose

Postby SquarePeg » Fri Aug 26, 2011 1:40 pm


No advice, but after many years, I gotten uncomfortable with being too comfortable. Comfort is a subtle trap. It's a prison that starts out large and free and wonderful, but then gets progressively smaller and more constraining at an imperceptible rate.

Sometimes I need the comfort and wallow in it. But other times I push against the boundaries of my comfort zone.

Maybe that will help you?
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Re: Refuse To Choose? Can't Seem To Choose

Postby An8el » Sat Oct 08, 2011 7:42 pm

If it's any solace, along about the fifty year old mark, you get to be a "master" in all the little things you've been doing for a bit, and then coming back around and doing for a bit more while you've been doing other things... for the last twenty years. It's sort of humbling to find out that you've just been in a huge degree program that took about twenty years to be completed.
It's helps to have a sense of your own "touchstones." It seemed at first that everything I was interested in was "unrelated," until I found that touchstone - there can be multiple ones. Why you're interested in something is the question to ask.
For instance, I'm interested in "the potential of a new world," not science fiction and fantasy, activism, entrepreneurship, creative thinking skills, Alexander Technique, making a community phone book, interviewing closet geniuses, hitch-hiking, learning another language, etc. All those specifics are how that original touchstone of interest gets expressed in a myriad of ways.
If you're a "jack of all trades" sort of person outlined in the book, you might do things just because you find the people doing it area also interesting. That's another one of my touchstones: "Follow what absorbs and fascinates." Later on, you can figure out what it all means.
Being a scanner is more of a logistic problem than anything else. How can you "do it all" without leaving any "childish interest" unfed?
Along that strategy is to use your fear of being trapped to work for you in a positive way. I found this list-making routine called: Autofocus by Mark Forster to be really effective, playing off my fear of not wanting to lose out on doing something, and beating my tendency to procrastinate. It makes you fear you're going to leave yourself out of doing the things on the page that you're in danger of crossing off if you can't do them NOW. It's wonderful for those of us who are driven by deadlines...
Oh, and here's how to be a "productive procrastinator."
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