I finally made some progress and want to boast about it;)

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I finally made some progress and want to boast about it;)

Postby Annalena » Wed Oct 03, 2012 6:30 am

I haven't been online in about a year (true scanner!), but I feel my life is finally, finally coming together. I want to give others hope that is IS possible...

I FINALLY graduated college/business school ("all-in-one"-degree here in Germany), finished my final thesis, and with a decent grade, too! I started the job search, and although I know I'll probably not do it my whole life, but I found a field that I'm good at and can deal with having to do it every single day. I now work in sales, which comes with more travel than a lot of other positions, thus a more stimulating and more often changing environment. This particular position I just started probably has not quite enough travel percentage for me, but to figure that out, I needed to start somewhere.

I significantly lowered my contact with my family, which is crucial for my mental and pschychological sanity. It was hard but worth it. I learned that no one can hold me accountable but myself. And I do not need to make anyone proud but myself.

I learned I will not have to do this job forever. I can still have a life outside of the job (it helps a lot I work 730-5, fridays 2, so I can do stuff after work). I always was so afraid I wouldn't be able to have a life outside of the job (as seen in my dad, who has been a genereal manager for the last 15 years and obviously makes a bit more, therefore works a bit more). If I won't be able to have a life outside the job anymore, the job will probably at least financially compensate (as does his).

Outside my work, I CAN pursue other interests. I take a spanish class. I finally joined a dance club again. I go to the gym, work out & do zumba on a regular basis. I can write a book if I want to (I'm at 100 pages with one). I can send it to publishers. IF anyone is interested in it, I can reconsider everything and if I want to do that. In theory, I could continue my hostess and model jobs, but since you need your employers' permission for that here, it's gonna be idle for a while. But I can continue tutoring. I can pick up a camera any time & have photo shootings. Will it lead to something? Who knows. But then I can reconsider.

I'll probably need to have my own business someday, I have so many ideas and want to be my own boss. But I lack the determination and drive so far to be successful (I tried). So for the moment I opted for employeeship to get adapted to the "work rhythm". And the most important thing: That job pays. I make a living. And I am not imprisoned, as I always was afraid of.

Besides that, I have come to realize I have actually done a lot of the things I wanted to do in my life already. Not necessarily full time, but that doesn't matter. I have taught- quite a lot- and even though I don't have a degree in teaching and won't be able to teach at an elementary or high school probably, I have been a teacher (community college and my exchange uni in US). I have tutored a LOT. I have modelled for pay and for fun. I have done lectoring and proofreading. I have worked in all my 1000 promo and hostess jobs. I have written. Not published yet, but written. I have been an entertainer at a holiday resort. I have been a nanny, babysitter, server. I have been paid to latin dance. And I am only 28. I hope the majority of my life is still to come.
People who say you can only do one thing- I have proven them wrong already. Not only paid full time work with a degree counts.

All the progress was a lot of hard work and I probably couldn't and wouldn't have come this far without my amazing boyfriend, but it's possible.

Hope this can serve as motivation for some.
~~ thinking helps. ~~
Annalena
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Re: I finally made some progress and want to boast about it;

Postby SquarePeg » Fri Oct 05, 2012 10:21 am

I have a broad smile on my face from reading this! Well done! Thank you for posting!
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Re: I finally made some progress and want to boast about it;

Postby 2esAngel » Mon Oct 08, 2012 2:58 am

I can feel the pride in your "voice" as I read your post. Fantastic! You have every right to feel proud and have a sense of accomplishment. Your comments about maintaining space from your family really hit home, but I agree...when it comes down to it, it is ourselves we need to please and be content with, and Proud of! Remember, we can do things even when we don't feel like it...keep this post handy for when you need a reminder of where you want to go, when where you want to be isn't it! I wish you the best.
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Re: I finally made some progress and want to boast about it;

Postby Annalena » Tue Oct 09, 2012 12:06 pm

Thank you guys!

I already hit my first low (life being the rollercoaster that it is) when I found out I have to ask for permission for any jobs outside my "main" job. I just feel so imprisoned cause I personally don't think it's right- shouldn't I be free to do whatever I want in my free time? Excluding working for competitors, obviously.

I have always loved working so much and can't imagine to give up all my promo, tutoring, teaching, model jobs all of a sudden. Tutoring I can still do, no one will know. Promo & modelling is very public, so that's gonna be complicated. As in, not gonna happen for now. It's just weird because it made up such a big part of my life for so long. As of my other interests I want to pursue, maybe it's just time to focus on them. No one can keep me from writing. I can buy a camera and have shootings (as a photographer). Are they paid for or not, no one will know.

I like my job now, but I don't love it like I loved my part time jobs (yet?). I know it's gonna be good for me in the long run to HAVE to stick with something and not only pick the parts I like, but it's a little tough now.

The good thing though is, being in the "work mood" already it's a LOT easier to get myself to write, get the housework done, or work out. I don't fall into idleness like I tended to do when I stayed home all day.

Also I have come to the conclusion that while I love working all these jobs that I have always had, they won't get me anywhere further. It's more of a hobby that pays. I should focus on building something for myself. But I feel that's gonna be easier having a full time job than having to much time for it, as weird as that may sound. I just feel more determined.
~~ thinking helps. ~~
Annalena
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