Hello Hello, is anyone out there?

What should you do when you want to do everything? If you're fascinated by everything, and you've been called dabbler, dilettante, undisciplined, indecisive etc., this forum is for you.

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Re: Hello Hello, is anyone out there?

Postby SquarePeg » Mon Dec 15, 2014 3:33 pm

Welcome, Jessica. I check for new messages here about once per week. And I've subscribed to some threads. So I'm not too far away! :)
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Re: Hello Hello, is anyone out there?

Postby Riss_ » Thu Dec 18, 2014 11:38 am

Hi Everybody! I'm from Barbara's 'Hanging Out' group too. I'm enjoying Hanging Out very much, but really wanted to have the functionality of the forum, with private messaging and being able to start our own threads and so forth, as well. So some of us have come over here in the hopes of broadening the scope of our interactions.

Janis, I'm glad to see you here! I was getting a little unsure about Hanging Out too, but then things took an upward turn for me. Firstly, I discovered that Barbara had actually been unaware of all our comments there for the past two weeks, due to her ISP playing tricks. She's been posting much more since then and really getting involved in the conversations. She was quite upset about the misunderstandings this caused in the meantime, and apologised for the confusion. I wonder if you might find things a bit more interesting now that things are back on track a bit more. For me, I'm finding that this has made a big difference, but also the fact that after four weeks in the group I'm starting to recognise people's names and remember their stories, and I'm starting to connect more personally with several people that I've had back-and-forth exchanges with. At first it felt a bit overwhelming that there were so many people and I didn't think I'd ever speak to the same one twice. Anyway, I'd be interested to hear from you and find out what sort of thing you are looking for in these groups/forums. I'm interested in getting into freelance writing, coaching, and I'm also wanting to develop myself in the musical field as well, so I've been hoping to find friends and collaborators and mentors and inspiration for all of these.
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Re: Hello Hello, is anyone out there?

Postby Elaine Glimme » Tue Jan 13, 2015 7:35 pm

Hi,
I hope you see this.

I like HO, but there's one thing you have to know. Sometimes people answer your posts and sometimes they don't. That includes Barbara. She answers when she can, and usually her comments are priceless. But stuff happens. Sometimes other priorities or health issues pile up, and we don't hear from her for a while. That is true for the rest of us.

Here on the Boards, I usually post under "Success Stories" " X steps per day." So I didn't see your post for some time. Riss please don't give up on us. I hope you find some good on-line friends. They can make all the difference.
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Re: Hello Hello, is anyone out there?

Postby BarbaraSher » Mon Jun 22, 2015 6:30 am

coachcharlotta wrote:
skannie wrote:Yes these boards are much quieter than they used to be. I can think of several possible reasons, but probably the main one is that newer kinds of social media appeared on the scene i.e. Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn, and being Scanners, we all had to go and try them out, including Barbara.


Skannie, you seem to have your ear to the ground when it comes to where scanners and other Barbara Sher peeps hang out online. I know that Tituba mentioned Barbara's Club, but there are so many payed membership sites that I have to choose which ones I jump on. Where would you say is the best place to "hang out" for free? ;)



Hi CoachCharlotta - barbarasclub.com is free. The Idea Party is on all the time - for free. The download of the cartoon booklet (which does not require that you leave your email address) called How to get what you really want even if you have no goals, no character, and you're often in a lousy mood - which actually explains how to create what I am convinced is the absolute, guaranteed secret to success, is free.

There are also Facebook sites for Scanners, and LinkedIn groups, and Meetup groups, too. Look for Scanners, Renaissance Souls, Polymaths, Multipotenitalites -- and many more.
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Re: Hello Hello, is anyone out there?

Postby BarbaraSher » Thu Aug 20, 2015 7:37 am

Well, I'm coming back - to this Scanners forum anyway. I regretted being so busy with Hanging Out (writing it for a few years - just wonderful but so involving I hardly had time to brush my teeth) and then the coaching program for almost four years.

It's Scanners I'm concerned about, and I stopped running Scanner retreats in 2013 - it was a bit too tiring (though I might do a shortened version one of these days, closer to where I live now). I've always appreciated Skannie continuing to wave at the coals and turn them into small fires again, and have jumped into a couple of Scanner FB pages from time to time, but the whole subject, that whole wonderful group of people, need constant, ongoing attention.

Once you know you're a Scanner, the biggest dangers are over I'm relieved to say. I get letters every day, still, from people who just discovered they're Scanners! They thank me, and I think it's great, but I'm horrified to think about how many people still believe they're broken and useless because they can't find The One Right Thing. I can feel the hurt in my throat and chest while I write this.

Anyway, I decided that the minute I turned 80 (last week) I was going to start doing something about it (or try). I'm busy with other projects but I don't care. Today my son and I will shoot the first in a series of short (10-minute) videos for YouTube, and I'm hoping I will never stop! I want to talk about all of Skannie's sites, and a bunch of others I've found. I want to Tweet like a maniac to get people to come to the YouTube channel.

And I want you to tell me what I should dedicate some of the episodes to. Plain and simple.

I'll give tips and read letters that are success stories. I'll talk about other sites so people can find them. I'll take excerpts from I Could Do Anything...(where I introduced the term) and Refuse to Choose (I have an index! donated to me by wonderful Domi the Indexer! and it's loaded with subjects.

And I have wonderful notes of all the important stuff from almost every single one of my Scanner Retreats (there were about 12 of them and we started videoing at the third, when I realised none of them would ever be anything like each other.)

So I have material. What I need to know is, What do you live, awake, present people need me to talk about first? (I love questions!)

And where in the Refuse to Choose forum are there already good questions and answers and discussions?

I can make a whole bunch of these videos, and I'm in the mood. Right now.
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Re: Hello Hello, is anyone out there?

Postby SquarePeg » Fri Aug 21, 2015 2:06 pm

Congratulations on your milestone, Barbara!

My daughter (who is in High School) is having trouble getting excited about college. I can't blame her at all. Picking a major is like choosing a four-year prison sentence. Do you want hard labor, license plates, kitchen duty, laundry? However, she toured one school that emphasized an interdisciplinary environment, and it sounds amazing, and amazingly expe$ive.

She loved visual arts initially. But after two years at an intensive arts magnet school she's nearly sick of it. Which is a good thing, I think. Better to get sick of art now rather than two years into a Fine Art program. Anyway, what else can you do with a Fine Arts degree aside from wait tables, serve coffee and help out with the Census every ten years?

I digress.

But it leads up to a question: How does a Scanner student manage the transition from a mandatory public school setting to the world of "responsible adulthood." Scanners would seem to have to prepare for multiple paths. For example, establish a portfolio, create audition tapes, do the "standard" SAT/ACT, etc. And in the end they might just take a gap year or get a certificate in massage therapy.

Other school-related questions focus on the dreaded Thesis. How do I choose a thesis that's broad enough to keep me interested and yet narrow enough that I don't write several hundreds of pages on it? Or, I've chosen a thesis I thought was really cool, but now I'm totally sick of it -- help!
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Re: Hello Hello, is anyone out there?

Postby Elaine Glimme » Fri Aug 21, 2015 3:44 pm

Happy Birthday, Barbara,
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Re: Hello Hello, is anyone out there?

Postby BarbaraSher » Fri Aug 21, 2015 3:52 pm

Thank you, Elaine! Fortunately, I'm feeling pretty good, so 80 isn't as scary as it might haveavn
I promised myself I'd start preparing 10-minute, unrehearsed videos about Scanners for YouTube once I turned 80, and we got 4 done today! I want them to be about things that aren't already in the book, and there's lots of great issues here on the board.

What do you think I should be sure to cover?

(Open question for everyone, actually.)
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Re: Hello Hello, is anyone out there?

Postby Tituba » Fri Aug 21, 2015 4:27 pm

Exciting news. Can't wait to see the videos. Please make sure to send me the links so I can add them to the board resources.
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Re: Hello Hello, is anyone out there?

Postby Elaine Glimme » Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:15 am

Barbara, I'm glad you're doing 80 in style - flying high. You've always told us to think big, scan away, and be what we were meant to be.

For most of us being responsible isn't the problem - most scanners are so responsible that their dreams get crushed with the practical. Sometimes we let our dreams take over and we go too far to the other side. We ignore that we have to take care of our kids, make a living, etc.

Please say something about the practical side. About keeping a good-enough job until you don't need it any more. About not jumping off of a cliff without a net. About not taking risks where the consequences are just not worth it. And that you might not make any money doing what you love. You probably won't make any money doing what you love at first, because you have to learn your craft.

I know you've said these things before. That's what I've liked about you and your books. But it really bears repeating. Because sometimes we get so excited about the wonderful world and all of its possibilities that we just don't hear the rest. We don't hear what we don't want to hear. For me, the practical side doesn't shut doors; it opens them. It makes all the rest possible.

Thanks for forty-some years of great dreams.
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Re: Hello Hello, is anyone out there?

Postby BarbaraSher » Sat Aug 22, 2015 12:33 pm

Tituba wrote:Exciting news. Can't wait to see the videos. Please make sure to send me the links so I can add them to the board resources.


Will definitely do, dear Tituba!
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Re: Hello Hello, is anyone out there?

Postby BarbaraSher » Sat Aug 22, 2015 12:39 pm

Elaine Glimme wrote:Barbara, I'm glad you're doing 80 in style - flying high. You've always told us to think big, scan away, and be what we were meant to be.

For most of us being responsible isn't the problem - most scanners are so responsible that their dreams get crushed with the practical.


True. And the people I hear from are usually those who feel terrible about being 'flighty,' etc.

Elaine Glimme wrote: Sometimes we let our dreams take over and we go too far to the other side. We ignore that we have to take care of our kids, make a living, etc.


To be honest, I never hear from people like that. I say the practical things you suggest below because Scanners so often say to me: "I can't just quit my job and ignore my responsibilities to do what I love. That's when I say 'Keep (or get) a good enough job until you don't need it any more.' etc.

Elaine Glimme wrote:Please say something about the practical side. About keeping a good-enough job until you don't need it any more. About not jumping off of a cliff without a net. About not taking risks where the consequences are just not worth it. And that you might not make any money doing what you love. You probably won't make any money doing what you love at first, because you have to learn your craft.

I know you've said these things before. That's what I've liked about you and your books. But it really bears repeating. Because sometimes we get so excited about the wonderful world and all of its possibilities that we just don't hear the rest. We don't hear what we don't want to hear.

For me, the practical side doesn't shut doors; it opens them. It makes all the rest possible.


Of course, that's exactly what it does, Elaine. But tell me, everyone who is reading this: Do you know anyone who is actually neglecting their real responsibilities and doing Scanner stuff instead? Because if that's true, I'd like to know about it.
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Re: Hello Hello, is anyone out there?

Postby BarbaraSher » Sat Aug 22, 2015 12:56 pm

SquarePeg wrote:
Other school-related questions focus on the dreaded Thesis. How do I choose a thesis that's broad enough to keep me interested and yet narrow enough that I don't write several hundreds of pages on it? Or, I've chosen a thesis I thought was really cool, but now I'm totally sick of it -- help!


Hi SquarePeg

Just got a comment from someone in my coaching class, a very terrific and cool human from South Africa, who send this to the group - maybe it's relevant to your daughter:


"...As a literature scholar I resisted for a long time to be pigeonholed into a specialty. In fact, I did some impressive ducking and diving to keep the picture of myself as "Jack of all trades, master of many" intact. So much so that I majored in four subjects instead of 2 and also changed my field of inquiry drastically between Masters and PhD. Took me ages to pick a PhD topic because I deeply resented the idea of becoming "a person who knows a lot about a little thing".

And then something happened. I found "my people". A field where I felt at home and was energized by the people working in it. And I got comfortable with the idea of being known as "The Desert Auntie" (Die Woestyntannie) I still work in other fields like Foreign Language Teaching and I'm currently working on a project with a colleague in Physics and Engineering (?!). But getting comfortable with a specialty and a supportive group has made me more relaxed and brave enough to stick out my chest and say: Currently I'm also branching out into this.../ At the moment I'm also expanding into.../ I've also been trained to do.... and this ties in nicely with... Instead of finding frustration and feeling trapped in a specialty, choosing the desert set me free and made me braver to research whatever the hell I please.
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Re: Hello Hello, is anyone out there?

Postby BarbaraSher » Sat Aug 22, 2015 3:52 pm

Was just looking through some of the oldest threads here and found this, Elaine:


Choose one thing to pay your rent and make sure it's not suffocating or distasteful, that the people are nice, that your boss doesn't resent your intelligence (by searching for a brilliant boss) at the very least. Then do what you love on your own time.

Or find a kind of work that entertains the hell out of you, and never stops having variety, problem-solving, creativity as well as recognition (that might be your own business, or income streams, or just being lucky enough and searching long enough to find the place that values your kind of thinking.

Still, even that job isn't enough for a Scanner. You have to spend time on everything that interests you--an hour, a day, one 2-week summer conference, a semester, whatever--and do it on your own time. I've devised a whole storeroom full of technique and equipment (most of which you can create yourself) to help you handle all those interests.
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Re: Hello Hello, is anyone out there?

Postby Elaine Glimme » Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:22 pm

Yes, that's exactly what I mean. And you're right. Most people who think they have to choose between paying the rent and having their dream, will choose paying their rent. But I do know some who throw caution to the winds and end up in trouble.

And you're especially right - you can do it all. You just have to be smart about it.
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