Hello Hello, is anyone out there?

What should you do when you want to do everything? If you're fascinated by everything, and you've been called dabbler, dilettante, undisciplined, indecisive etc., this forum is for you.

Moderators: BarbaraSher, Tituba

Re: Hello Hello, is anyone out there?

Postby SquarePeg » Tue Jun 10, 2014 2:26 pm

My guess is that she lives in the Southern Hemisphere, where Winter is approaching very soon.

Which very tangentially reminds me of something I was quoted as saying many years ago: "You know you've been on the Internet too long when you wonder what timezone someone's in while having a face-to-face conversation with him!"
SquarePeg
Mega Poster
Mega Poster
 
Posts: 1023
Joined: Tue Jan 26, 2010 9:36 pm

Re: Hello Hello, is anyone out there?

Postby Elaine Glimme » Tue Jun 10, 2014 3:55 pm

Oh, right. I forgot about the Southern Hemisphere.
Elaine Glimme - author - "Temporary Address" and "The Molly Chronicles"
User avatar
Elaine Glimme
Mega Poster
Mega Poster
 
Posts: 2464
Joined: Wed Aug 06, 2008 1:00 pm

Re: Hello Hello, is anyone out there?

Postby Enteth » Mon Jun 16, 2014 8:49 am

Hi everyone,

I've been lurking for a week or so - taking the advice to read some posts before jumping in with my own. This seems the perfect thread to begin with.

I bought 'I Could Be Anything ..' years ago and it has helped me enormously. I'm a Scanner, although I refused to admit that for some years. I've tried out a few different careers in my life but just when they get serious, I get out. I am hoping to overcome this since it has left me feeling very unfulfilled. Not unhappy - I actually enjoy everything I do. However, I showed enormous promise at school but I am still at the same point as I was when I finished, except older and with less energy. I have a much better understanding of myself than I did, but I know it is time to move on. I'd also like a real income, and my husband would love to share the burden of the mortgage and the costs of raising children.

I tend to be very happy with whatever I am doing, until ... I don't know what it is - the enthusiasm drains away, I can feel it happen, within a few hours I know that what I've passionately worked on ,day in day out for the past months, is now done with and I'm able to leave it - no - I'm almost compelled to leave it, I feel an almost physical ache if I force myself to stick with it.

Two of my four children are exactly the same. I've seen it in them from the time they were toddlers and they are now in university and high school. I'm hoping to find techniques to help myself become established before I end my days with no superannuation and no respect from my highly professional extended family, and so I can have the fun that I know is out there for people with a thorough understanding of their field and an authoritative position in society.

I can really relate to most of the things I've seen written here. I'm saving up for 'Refuse To Choose' :)

Soon, I'll post my wish and my obstacle, even though I can see that board is all but closed down. I'm still working out how to phrase it.

And tailormum, I'm so sorry to hear about your dog. I have two dogs and they are very important family members. We have about 5 C here each day and I'm being strong and only lighting the fire at nightfall, since wood is so expensive. It's not fun.
Enteth
New User
New User
 
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Jun 11, 2014 6:35 pm

Re: Hello Hello, is anyone out there?

Postby SquarePeg » Mon Jun 16, 2014 1:55 pm

Welcome, Enteth.

I'm happy with what I do until ... people start to pay me to do it. Well, payment is just one obvious turn-off for me.

5C isn't so bad (for late fall).
SquarePeg
Mega Poster
Mega Poster
 
Posts: 1023
Joined: Tue Jan 26, 2010 9:36 pm

Re: Hello Hello, is anyone out there?

Postby Enteth » Mon Jun 16, 2014 7:22 pm

5C is manageable, but only just! Worse is coming.

I'm just afraid of success. I was teased horribly in school for being so good at everything intellectual. My father also had a tendency to take my successes for himself and boast how he had 'helped' or 'pushed' me to achieve prizes and awards when actually he didn't even know I was doing it until I won. I have a strained relationship with my father.

I always drop out of courses of study once I reach top of the class. I always resign from successful careers once my employer gets really excited to have me. I have about 20 books written which my childen and close friends love but I may never let a publisher see. I have had blog articles, newsletter articles and letters to the newspaper published by organisations with which I am involved, but I've never gone to look at them in print or up on a serious website. It frightens me.

I also haven't made a friend since I moved to my current location three years ago. Money is an issue - I can't afford to go for coffee. I look shabby because I can't afford to buy clothes that suit me. I live in the country where the nearest neighbour is out of sight, up a dirt road that town people - including my family - don't want to take their car on.

I'm thinking of attempting university again but this time, it has to work because our universities have a 2-strike system. If I drop out this time, there's no getting back in. So I need to overcome my issues. I'm looking for strategies to keep me there, ways to spot my resistance before it strikes and techniques to deal with it when it does.

In about two weeks time I'll have the money for 'Refuse to Choose'. Looking forward to reading it.
Enteth
New User
New User
 
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Jun 11, 2014 6:35 pm

Re: Hello Hello, is anyone out there?

Postby SquarePeg » Wed Jun 18, 2014 2:40 pm

I understand about the teasing in school when excelling at something. And I would dumb-down to fit in. Once during quiet reading time in grade 3, I noticed many students getting up to ask the teacher what a certain word was. So I decided to pick a word that seemed difficult (even though it wasn't) and asked. Annoyed, she said, "You know what that word means." And so I sat back down and never asked again.

But by the time I got to University, it was less teasing and more respect, plus some good-natured ribbing.

Your fear of success might be helped with Ceremony of Release of some sort, perhaps with the help of a shaman. It would be good for you, of course, but also for family, friends, future bosses and whomever would enjoy your craft.
SquarePeg
Mega Poster
Mega Poster
 
Posts: 1023
Joined: Tue Jan 26, 2010 9:36 pm

Re: Hello Hello, is anyone out there?

Postby Elaine Glimme » Fri Jun 20, 2014 3:15 pm

Square Peg, I did the same thing in first grade - asked the teacher what a word was - except that I picked a really easy word, and the teacher said the same thing.

Enteth, you may find that in University, the other students are smarter than the ones you studied with in grammar school (and, hopefully, more mature), and, even if you're still smarter than most of them, it won't be a problem.

Also, be prepared. If you were always so much smarter than the other students, you may expect to do much, much better than anyone else, and it can be a rude lesson when suddenly you're not the very best. This may not ever be a problem for you, but it a hard lesson for many very intelligent people. And there's a temptation to drop out before you find out that suddenly you're not the smartest one around. That's more my style - I tend to get tired of a project when I find out that it's not going to turn out as well as I had hoped.

For me, University was a wonderful time in my life. Learning new things was my job, and I love learning. I wish I had focused more on the subjects that I got to study, and less on the grades, but, still, I was happy and I knew every day how lucky I was to be there.

I hope you get to go to University, and that you have a great time there.
Elaine Glimme - author - "Temporary Address" and "The Molly Chronicles"
User avatar
Elaine Glimme
Mega Poster
Mega Poster
 
Posts: 2464
Joined: Wed Aug 06, 2008 1:00 pm

Re: Hello Hello, is anyone out there?

Postby Tituba » Fri Jun 20, 2014 4:47 pm

So I decided to pick a word that seemed difficult (even though it wasn't) and asked. Annoyed, she said, "You know what that word means." And so I sat back down and never asked again.


Teachers don't realize how their statements can really affect kids. I remember asking my biology teacher what makes a stomach growl. I was seriously interested in what makes that sound, what bodily changes happen that cause it. She answered with "it means you are hungry." The kids laughed. I didn't ask many science questions after that. As an adult, I wouldn't let someone do that to me. As a kid, you feel like you have a target on your shirt.
Tituba
Mega Poster
Mega Poster
 
Posts: 9618
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2003 10:01 pm
Location: North Shore - Boston

Re: Hello Hello, is anyone out there?

Postby BarbaraSher » Thu Jul 03, 2014 5:15 pm

coachcharlotta wrote:
skannie wrote:Yes these boards are much quieter than they used to be. I can think of several possible reasons, but probably the main one is that newer kinds of social media appeared on the scene i.e. Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn, and being Scanners, we all had to go and try them out, including Barbara.


Skannie, you seem to have your ear to the ground when it comes to where scanners and other Barbara Sher peeps hang out online. I know that Tituba mentioned Barbara's Club, but there are so many payed membership sites that I have to choose which ones I jump on. Where would you say is the best place to "hang out" for free? ;)



Hi there

As Skannie said, The Idea Party at Barbara's Club is free, and quite active. But I'd love to see this site get back some energy. Also, I'm planning to run another book Club in September, so I'll be asking here,
BarbaraSher
Mega Poster
Mega Poster
 
Posts: 6181
Joined: Wed Jul 21, 1999 10:01 pm

Re: Hello Hello, is anyone out there?

Postby Elaine Glimme » Sat Jul 05, 2014 9:48 pm

I'd also like to see the boards get more energy. I love this website, and I've made some good friends here, and have gotten some good support.
Elaine Glimme - author - "Temporary Address" and "The Molly Chronicles"
User avatar
Elaine Glimme
Mega Poster
Mega Poster
 
Posts: 2464
Joined: Wed Aug 06, 2008 1:00 pm

Re: Hello Hello, is anyone out there?

Postby BarbaraSher » Wed Jul 16, 2014 5:57 am

skannie wrote:Hi fellow Scanners! Lots of lovely interests between you :-) Yes these boards are much quieter than they used to be. I can think of several possible reasons, but probably the main one is that newer kinds of social media appeared on the scene i.e. Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn, and being Scanners, we all had to go and try them out, including Barbara.


So true!

skannie wrote:Twitter was very exciting for a while, with regular idea parties, but that died down too, except for a big #ideaparty every new year’s eve.


I lost interest when Twitter got rid of Tweetchat over a year ago. When it was still in use, I could put up a screen with as many as 10 columns, and head each one with a different word I was searching: I'd look for anything sent to me by heading a column with my name, and #ideaparty at the top of another, and so on. Now they've killed tweet chat and I hardly go to Twitter anymore.

skannie wrote:I think Facebook currently has more Scanner action, and there are some interesting Scanner Tribe discussions on LinkedIn. And of course Barbara’s Club, as Tituba mentioned, which has a free ongoing idea party as well as the paid-for Hanging Out members' section.


I've been trying to use Facebook to announce new book clubs or tele classes, but something's gone haywire there. I can't find my posts from the day before, etc. I don't trust them because they change their rules so often. The most recent book club (for I Could Do Anything...) has been a huge hit, and I've asked Patty to start one for Scanners in mid September, so I'll be mentioning it on Facebook, but something has changed over there. And it's designed to be better for hit-and-run comments anyway. Not useful for continuing discussions of the kind we can have here.

skannie wrote:It’s rather like when a new club or pub opens, and everyone flocks to it, and the old regular place gets forgotten. But after a while the novelty wears off


(and they start serving sub-standard beer)

skannie wrote:and people start remembering what was special about the old place and going back there. I still think a forum is the best place for in-depth discussions and building up an archive of ideas and information. So hopefully we can revitalise this one.


I agree. In my case, two more things happened. The first started without me noticing it and the second made me so busy I didn't pay attention for two extra years: First, the technology of this board was automatically updated and I stopped being notified of new messages. If I'm not notified of something in my email each day, I don't soon remember that it exists. Second, we started Hanging Out and I was totally absorbed, not only with the constant deadlines for turning in the 'messages' I was writing to send out three (later two) times a week, always trying to deliver my best work always living in 'deadline land,' but the fascination with the kinds of responses I was (and still am) getting pulled me away from even my emails. It's been (still is) quite a ride.

So exciting a ride that Patty knew I wouldn't get any work done if I was needed for the book club - so she she took over, bless her bones. It was unexpectedly popular, and the responses and revelations were even more intense than HO, so I've put myself on a 'reply reading diet' there now.

That's a whole lot of body blows for this bulletin board to take.

skannie wrote: No I wouldn't agree with you, Charlotta, that these boards aren't the most modern. They are made from phpBB, which is currently the best and most frequently used open source bulletin board software. And they definitely haven't been abandoned. As you can see, you got an answer from Tituba very quickly. She and others work hard behind the scenes kicking out the spammers and dealing with other kinds of problems.


You're completely right, Skannie, about phpBB (as I mentioned above) and Tituba's incredible ongoing contribution and Patty fighting off thousands of spammers every month. I did wander in from time to time, vaguely noticing that my notifications had gone. I'd try to read some interesting posts that had joined into a wall of words with no paragraph breaks (hard to read, for me, at least) when the phpBB system had been updated, and I'd read them while editing in a little space between a groups of lines, rather randomly.

skannie wrote: But it might look that way to you because they haven’t been tarted up with graphics and logos and pretty colours,


Whoop! Love that verb! 'Tarted up!' lol!

skannie wrote:which could be done if Barbara decided it was important enough. But she's a Scanner too and has lots of other things on her mind ;-)


Yes. But, I no longer can run Scanner's Retreats. Getting too old, I guess. I loved them but they wore me out. I stopped for two years, tried again in 2013, and that was the end of it. So, I've been missing my Scanners.

Glad to find you all here now.
BarbaraSher
Mega Poster
Mega Poster
 
Posts: 6181
Joined: Wed Jul 21, 1999 10:01 pm

Re: Hello Hello, is anyone out there?

Postby Jessica » Sun Dec 14, 2014 1:13 pm

Hi! I'm here as of yesterday!
There are soooo many boards and posts, I don't know where to start. I did introduce myself though. I would love to post here regularly if others will. There are a few other new members this week, as this forum was mentioned in Hanging Out a few days ago.
I would like to talk about my interests and see if any of you have any suggestions. I just don't have it narrowed down enough yet to say I have one wish.
Jessica
Jessica
New Poster
New Poster
 
Posts: 17
Joined: Fri Dec 12, 2014 7:45 pm

Re: Hello Hello, is anyone out there?

Postby Jessica » Sun Dec 14, 2014 1:16 pm

Also, in case anyone hadn't seen this... near the top left of the Board Index screen, you can click on New Posts or Active Topics. That would be a good way to make sure you don't miss any current/new activity.
Jessica
New Poster
New Poster
 
Posts: 17
Joined: Fri Dec 12, 2014 7:45 pm

Re: Hello Hello, is anyone out there?

Postby jgp » Sun Dec 14, 2014 11:37 pm

Hey Jessica, and all the people from Hanging Out who want to 'Hang Out' here...
Not sure 'Hanging Out' has enough 'meatiness' for me..love Barbara's books but the site didn't have enough energy or new ideas to grab me..I even read back through the last 2 years of comments..maybe my impatience showing.
Hope we have some fun here..and lots of ideas!!
More soon.
Janis
jgp
New User
New User
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Dec 12, 2014 3:48 pm

Re: Hello Hello, is anyone out there?

Postby Jessica » Mon Dec 15, 2014 8:29 am

I feel the same way! :wink:
Jessica
New Poster
New Poster
 
Posts: 17
Joined: Fri Dec 12, 2014 7:45 pm

PreviousNext

Return to Refuse to Choose: The Forum for Scanners

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron