Am I a bit weird type of Scanner..? confused...

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Am I a bit weird type of Scanner..? confused...

Postby Valerie91 » Sun Jan 26, 2014 12:49 pm

Hi to all! :)

I just finished reading Refuse to Choose and even tho yes I was able to find myself in many descriptions within the book, I didn't flnd an answer to my current question, which is: What should a Scanner do if he is drown to many things but not so much because he loves all of them so madly, but simply because he probably doesn't love any of them just enought to actually want to do that thing/things for any long period if time?

You see, in the book, Barbara mostly talks about people who can't finish stuff as they have so many passions it's impossible for them to choose just one. But I've been starting things lately just in hope that maybe I'd became passionate about it and it'll make me want dig deeper into that field. Not because I was so in love with those things in the first place. I guess I was coming from the place of desperation...

At this moment I'm half way through my BSc Business degree in London,UK and suprisingly I haven't yet thought about quitting it... (even tho I dropped my previous course in 3D animation which I absolutely hated). I'm almost 23 years old and I haven't got a real job up to this point due to the fact that in my native country if your parents can support you don't really have to work while you're young. Especially if you a woman... But I did a few internships here and there
I always thought I wanted to be a film director. did some internships at the set and realized it's not exactly what I want to do for a living. Also I always was business minded and was helping my dad with his business since I was 16.. so I felt it's a natural thing for me... the only thing is I have no idea what kind of business I want to set up. All I know it should be huge, ambitious and very importantly NOT just about the money. I want to like. To love it even. I want to create something big, something I could be proud of...but How do I find what it is?
below my biggest concerns as for today...

1) Where should I start and How can I start looking for a potential career/industry that I won't hate before I even understand what it's actually all about? I used to think if I hate it, I shouldn't stick to it...so after all if I should just stick to it.. does it matter to what? or any first job I'll find? will I be able to find the job/business that I'll love this way?

2) I've always been extremely ambitious and wanted to be like super rich and famous and I always knew I had the potential, but
isn't it stupid to wish becoming someone so accomplished in something, even when I don't know what it is?

Thank you! :)
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Re: Am I a bit weird type of Scanner..? confused...

Postby BarbaraSher » Sun Jan 26, 2014 5:56 pm

Allow me to answer, Valerie:

Valerie91 wrote:Hi to all! :)

I just finished reading Refuse to Choose and even tho yes I was able to find myself in many descriptions within the book, I didn't flnd an answer to my current question, which is: What should a Scanner do if he is drown to many things but not so much because he loves all of them so madly, but simply because he probably doesn't love any of them just enought to actually want to do that thing/things for any long period if time?


Scanners are drawn to things that look interesting - temporarily. Most Scanners lose interest as soon as they've found what they came for, just as a bee loses interest in a flower when it's gotten the nectar.

Valerie91 wrote:You see, in the book, Barbara mostly talks about people who can't finish stuff as they have so many passions it's impossible for them to choose just one.


Nope. The All or Nothing Scanner only likes two things, and keeps on liking both of them. Sybil is interested in many things and then wants to do something else, but she returns to a number of things things over and over, and, typically, never loses interest. Most of the other 7 types of Scanners lose interest completely and wouldn't consider going back to what fascinated them (remember those 'hit and run obsessions?). [/quote]

Valerie91 wrote:But I've been starting things lately just in hope that maybe I'd became passionate about it and it'll make me want dig deeper into that field. Not because I was so in love with those things in the first place. I guess I was coming from the place of desperation...


How did you decide which to choose? Or are you talking about careers? I can understand finding yourself in a career you hoped you'd get interested in someday, though if I were your career counselor I'd never send you to such a career in the first place.

Valerie91 wrote:At this moment I'm half way through my BSc Business degree in London,UK and suprisingly I haven't yet thought about quitting it...


That's pretty interesting. Anything you can learn from that? About losing interest that is?

Valerie91 wrote:I'm almost 23 years old and I haven't got a real job up to this point due to the fact that in my native country if your parents can support you don't really have to work while you're young. Especially if you a woman...


1.Many people at 23 haven't yet had a real job. 23 is pretty young.
2. If your parents can support you anywhere you don't have to work. Or did you mean that no one looks at you funny if your parent's support you. Which is nice, I agree.

Valerie91 wrote:But I did a few internships here and there
I always thought I wanted to be a film director. did some internships at the set and realized it's not exactly what I want to do for a living. Also I always was business minded and was helping my dad with his business since I was 16.. so I felt it's a natural thing for me...


Which might be why you're still not bored with your present studies: you like business.


Valerie91 wrote:the only thing is I have no idea what kind of business I want to set up. All I know it should be huge, ambitious and very importantly NOT just about the money. I want to like. To love it even. I want to create something big, something I could be proud of...but How do I find what it is?


I advise you to start reading the biographies of every successful business person in any field that fits your requirements. Keep a notebook in which you write every phrase that rings for you.

I also advise that, as soon as school is completed for you, you go to work in a business that, from the outside, looks like the kind of business you wish you owned. Start in the mail-room. That way you'll get to know everyone, and where they belong in the hierarchy. This can be one of the most important things you can do when you're looking to be a successful head of a business one day.


Valerie91 wrote:below my biggest concerns as for today...

1) Where should I start and How can I start looking for a potential career/industry that I won't hate before I even understand what it's actually all about? I used to think if I hate it, I shouldn't stick to it...so after all if I should just stick to it.. does it matter to what? or any first job I'll find? will I be able to find the job/business that I'll love this way?


These questions can't be answered until you've done the reading and had the experience in a few corporations as described above.

Valerie91 wrote:2) I've always been extremely ambitious and wanted to be like super rich and famous and I always knew I had the potential, but
isn't it stupid to wish becoming someone so accomplished in something, even when I don't know what it is?


You won't be the first one who felt that way. Read those biographies.
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Re: Am I a bit weird type of Scanner..? confused...

Postby Valerie91 » Mon Jan 27, 2014 1:26 am

Thank you Barbara!
I realized I've been learning biographies of successful businessmen for a very long time now.. through watching interviews, success stories etc. However I didn't take notes....

I advise you to start reading the biographies of every successful business person in any field that fits your requirements. Keep a notebook in which you write every phrase that rings for you.


I am not completly clear what's meant by "any field that fits your requirements"... ? In terms of my requirements for my ideal business? Like the size of the company or the team.. or maybe it's about my requirements in terms of my personal interests? Am I expected to know what these requirements are at this very moment?

p.s. sorry for bothering you with the details, but I was thinking about this and it left me confused...

Thank you!
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Re: Am I a bit weird type of Scanner..? confused...

Postby BarbaraSher » Mon Jan 27, 2014 5:46 am

When you described the kind of business you want in your first post, you made it clear. Surely there are some businesses out there that fit that description. That helped you come up with your own description. If you made it up out of pure imagination, you have a little more work to do, but you must believe it's possible.

Go looking on Google for 'Best Businesses to work for,' etc. I'm sure a lot of articles have been written about them. Search for articles on any big business - Disney, Virgin, Ben and Jerry, General Motors, Good Seasons Tea (in fact, the owner started a number of businesses, and his books are excellent on how to start and run a busines - Forgot his name. Paul?)

Then ask here if anyone knows of any admirable businesses ('very successful, and not just about the money'), and I"m sure they'll direct you to some I don't know about. That's essential reading.

Regarding interviews, they're not usually very useful. You really need to read actual biographies. They're detailed and usually well written, and much more informative. TV interviews are too fast and shallow, and the interviewers (except *maybe* Charlie Rose) don't ask embarrassing questions.

You need the patience to read biographies if you're serious about your dream. You're young enough to learn the lay of the land and the pitfalls, and to become very knowledgeable.

And very valuable, if, after a few years you start taking higher positions. The smarter you are, the more knowledgeable and experienced, the better chance you have of getting into the higher circles (maybe one day as a vice president, but much sooner as an assistant to a vice president, which is what I'd aim for) and find out what the big boys upstairs really do. There are company goals, and then there's politics and secret goals. And then there's the board of directors. There's a lot to learn, and each company has its own culture. (There are some good exposes in long articles in good periodicals through the years: everything from the New Yorker & Atlantic to WW and Fortune.)

One of the most entertaining authors, who puts out a book every couple of years (I read them because he's such a good writer and makes everything so clear) is Michael Lewis. Read anything he's written and you'll know more about businesses - from how Silicon Valley power went from the hands of Wall St. & the banks to the hands of the engineers, to what the business of baseball is really about. Amazing.

One of my favorite authors from the world of the rich is Nelson W. Aldrich, Jr. He writes articles in Worth magazine and wrote a brilliant book called Old Money. If you want to understand the upper crust, or your rich friends from college, you have to read this book. But it's really good for people who have become rich, 'market man,' who the upper crust wants to pretend to be distinctly different from.

In short, if you're serious and not just dreaming the dreams of a 20-something year old, you'll roll up your sleeves, slow down, and learn everything you can. It's a lot of homework, but every bit of it is fascinating, even to me (I like only pushcart or Mom and Pop businesses and have never wanted to be rich, just not worried about where my next meal comes from). It's sure to be much more interesting to you.

If you pay attention and do all your homework, you might actually be able to do exactly what you wish. But this isn't a good goal for someone who wants to take short cuts and read Cliff Notes.

And if it all looks tiresome instead of delicious, do this instead:

Tell us what you love most about your dream.

Maybe someone will know how you can get that without owning a big businesses.
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Re: Am I a bit weird type of Scanner..? confused...

Postby Valerie91 » Mon Jan 27, 2014 8:19 am

Thank you once again Barbara! I really appreciate your help!

I will follow your advice for sure, as I read tones of stuff about business anyway...

Tell us what you love most about your dream. 
Maybe someone will know how you can get that without owning a big businesses.


Very interesting question indeed. I would say there are two main componets: 1- Financial freedom/security; 2- Self-realization

1) As far as the first component goes, I believe it's crucial for me to be independent and have the freedom to do what I want, when and where I want. But I guess everyone would love that ;)
The other thing is my family. You see, I have a big and loving family, with us four girls and our incredible parents who haven't spend a day just for themselves since we were born... They work super hard and they achieved pretty much I would say... But, my parents know how to earn money way better than they know how to spend them wisely... Without going into too much detail we had/have constant tension about the money in the house. Add here two serious recessions that we had in Russia (100 times worse than the current Western situation), one of which got my dad lose practically all his fortune in 1998, and you'll get a feeling of the whole "money drama" thing I grew up with.
Nevertheless, I don't think money is evil, nor do I belive money buy you happiness. Money is what you make of it, just a tool in your hands.
At this point I know I just want to be able to provide for my parents so they can finally live the life for their own sake.
And of course all other nice things that come with money: travel, more dancing/sports, hobbies etc.


p.s. I am not particularly interested in getting in the "elite" circle, since I've been there and didn't find it very enjoyable ... not bad, but nothing special really.

2) Second reason would be an opportunity to realize my potential. For example, even though I don't know whether I'd like to produce/direct a movie one day, I would love to have that opportunity if I wish so. Besides I wouldn't choose fimmaking as a job since it's a horrible job with little chances to provide for my family and myself for a decent life.
Or maybe I'd like to get involved with social projects in my country... and I'm sure with money and power it'll be easier to be heard and percieved seriously. People tend to listen Big man more than a Small man.

The last thing (the one I'm almost ashamed of sometimes) is the fact that I want to be more than average. I've always felt like I am (as everyone I know) and it would be surprising and even dissapointing if all my achievments will be average and no one will remember my name... I wish I wasn't so ambitious and arrogant. Then I could enjoy my simple and joyful life...
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Re: Am I a bit weird type of Scanner..? confused...

Postby SquarePeg » Mon Jan 27, 2014 12:44 pm

I think you should start a business that helps people start businesses.

Sorry if this is too concise and off-the-mark, and also for not reading this entire thread. But I did read your entire first post and part of Barbara's first response.
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Re: Am I a bit weird type of Scanner..? confused...

Postby Valerie91 » Tue Jan 28, 2014 2:24 pm

omg today I read the "Nothing Ever Interests Me" chapter from the I could do anything if I only knew what it was.


I found myself in this part:

"My childhood was really okay,I think. The only thing was that my parents just couldn't stop being angry at each other, not at my brother or at me. We were used to hearing them fight. But we knew they loved us."


my dad was verbally abusive to my mom... very.. His basically like a ticking bomb.
I started to "dive" into depressions since I was maybe 11-12... they lasted for months.. sometimes over six months... That was really bad...
But I though after I've forgiven my parents, I was over it. I truly believed it's in the past! I guess I was wrong.

Barbara also explains:

"...unhappy children have unrealistically high expectations of life."


It's unbelievable! She couldn't be right more!
I was sure something was wrong with my apathetic approach to career choice and to all search for passion thing...
I mean yes I'm a scanner but I know other scanners and they don't seem to get so deeply desperate and disappointed every time they'd switch to something else.. instead they look very positive and enthusiastic about new stuff..

I think I need to slow down and work on this one first, before making any big decisions on career choices.

Thank you Barbara!
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Re: Am I a bit weird type of Scanner..? confused...

Postby SquarePeg » Wed Jan 29, 2014 3:33 pm

The chapter you refer to seems like a few years of psychotherapy delivered neatly in a concise, easy-to-read text. It's amazing!
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Re: Am I a bit weird type of Scanner..? confused...

Postby Valerie91 » Thu Jan 30, 2014 2:42 am

You're so right SquarePeg!

And not just this chapter, but the whole book I would say ;)
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