How to make Scanner happy? Question from wife-diver

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How to make Scanner happy? Question from wife-diver

Postby EvgeniyaSh » Wed Mar 16, 2016 12:30 pm

Hello, Scanners!
My husband is scanner and I'm diver. It's not difficult but never boring)
I have 2 questions to you:
1. How should I behave to make my husband-Scanner happy? I really don't know how ti react when he quickly starts new project and throw it away soon. And when he tries to engage me in all these project - but beeing a diver I don't want to start smth that will be thrown away in a week..
2. In afdition we have our own business. Together we're CEOs and I want to know, how to ise scanner's talents better for business? Now it's not good deal when we start several projects a month and have no result - because next month Scanner isn't interested in them an wants to start smth new...

Help me please, dear Scanners! I really need your help.

ps: sorry for my poor English,it's not my native language
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Re: How to make Scanner happy? Question from wife-diver

Postby Elaine Glimme » Thu Mar 17, 2016 10:55 am

Hi,

My mother's name was also Evgeniya.

And I am also a diver married to a scanner. That's often a problem for us as you can imagine. I don't know your husband, but I do know mine. He would be the first to admit that he can be irresponsible. This combination - scanner/diver - works when we can respect each-other's nature and compromise his scanner nature with my wish to keep making payments on the house, etc - not an easy task. I think most scanners are responsible and feel trapped doing what they have to. My husband is not like that.

Also, we make some agreements - which plans can work, which are just too expensive, and so on. A scanner can stick to one project long enough to complete it - if he/she has to. There's the idea of a good-enough job. It's a job that's okay or good. And a scanner can keep that job and use it to finance all the other wonderful things that the scanner wants to do. I don't know what your business is, but perhaps there's something there that would be like a good enough job - a project that is completed and pays the bills while your scanner husband dreams about all the other things he wants to do.

A scanner day book for him might be helpful. He can write all his ideas there so they aren't lost.

Scanners want to know that there's nothing wrong with them. It's just their nature to be interested in a lot of different things. And they want their ideas to be honored, not dismissed.

Also, divers should have some fun as well. I hope you get to make your dreams come true.

I hope some scanners answer your post because their input would be valuable.
Elaine Glimme - author - "Temporary Address" and "The Molly Chronicles"
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Re: How to make Scanner happy? Question from wife-diver

Postby EvgeniyaSh » Thu Mar 17, 2016 1:37 pm

Elaine, thank you very much!
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Re: How to make Scanner happy? Question from wife-diver

Postby EvgeniyaSh » Thu Mar 17, 2016 1:38 pm

Really - it's surprising that there's no coments from Scanners))
:shock: :shock: :shock:
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Re: How to make Scanner happy? Question from wife-diver

Postby SquarePeg » Thu Mar 17, 2016 2:39 pm

Well, responses tend to trickle in here gradually.

This is more of a general observation, not scanner/diver specific:
Both of you work together and live together. Perhaps spending more time apart would help. For example, your husband need not engage you in all his projects. Instead he can join a club that's related to his interest and engage like-minded folks.

Also, your husband's happiness is not totally your responsibility. Maybe you were writing "make my husband happy" to mean "show my husband support"? If so, I think you can support him with words of encouragement while not getting caught up in the activity of his project. A few well-placed utterances of "Yes dear, that's marvelous" might be all you need.

I don't know if I'm a scanner, but I know my wife isn't. I do my own thing. She does whatever housekeeping she can manage (with her disability) and socializes with her own friends. Then we overlap at least long enough so that we don't forget each others' names. ;) (Just kidding about that last part.)

Good luck!
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Re: How to make Scanner happy? Question from wife-diver

Postby emspace » Sat Mar 19, 2016 4:56 pm

As a Scanner with a partner who isn’t so much one (though he is reasonably interested in many things), all I expect from him is that he doesn’t denigrate or dismiss anything I’m currently excited about. I don’t need him to get involved in my projects, but I’m a very independent sort and I know I move too fast for some people to keep up.

I agree with SquarePeg: you don’t have to worry about him being happy as long as he’s occupying himself with his next Scanner interest. He is happy. You just have to listen, you don’t have to get involved unless you really want to.

As for business, do you have project managers? You might want to assign someone as your husband’s project manager, possibly another person as a process manager. What that means is, when your husband gets onto a great new idea, after you’ve determined it’s a viable idea that will produce great payoffs for the business, you need someone else to come in to help get it off the ground and then keep it going once your husband switches to something else. He can help with the initial project plan, perhaps check in at certain milestones, but the “making it happen” part will be in someone else’s hands. The project manager gets the idea/project into play and makes sure version 1.0 or the first phase gets completed on schedule. The process manager is the person who makes sure that if this is an idea that has to continue operating after launch, gets a process in place that everyone can follow and ensures it gets looked after on-going.

If you don’t have this kind of team at your business, you might consider it, especially if there are some great ideas that would actually work and help your business, but you know your husband will get bored long before they come to fruition. The best place for a Scanner is at the beginning of a project, but the worst place is in the middle and the end. If you want to take advantage of the ideas and the initial enthusiasm, you need a team to back end the projects.

In fact, many entrepreneurs are like this in terms of being starters but not so much finishers; even the ones that aren’t Scanners usually need project managers to catch things before they fall away completely.
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Re: How to make Scanner happy? Question from wife-diver

Postby SquarePeg » Sat Mar 19, 2016 6:42 pm

"The best place for a Scanner is at the beginning of a project, but the worst place is in the middle and the end."
Yes, definitely, emspace. How does the saying go? "The last 5% of a project takes up 95% of the effort." I might have the percentages wrong. It could be 85%, for example.
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