Barbara's New Rules: Stay Tuned!

If you have a question, look here first. New users, post here first.

Moderators: Tituba, BarbaraSher

Postby sandysundays » Wed Apr 28, 2004 4:18 pm

Gee, I feel like a real jerk. I've been coming to this board for about 1 year one. It's been on and off and it's been about 3 months since the last time I came. So, I have only helped 8 people since I've joined with my new user name, but I have helped SO many others in past. Ahhh. Please don't hate me! Susanna
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Postby sandysundays » Wed Apr 28, 2004 4:19 pm

Gee, I feel like a real jerk. I've been coming to this board for about 1 year one. It's been on and off and it's been about 3 months since the last time I came and I forgot my password and username. So, I have only helped 8 people since I've re-joined with my new user name, but I have helped SO many others in past. Ahhh. Please don't hate me! Susanna
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Postby GiniDee » Wed Apr 28, 2004 5:30 pm

Susanna - nobody hates you. Just saw your despairing post up on Wishes and obstacles, and look forward to hearing more about your own business from you. That's what these boards are for. You'll help where and when you can as time goes on, but meanwhile, let the rest of us help you! Gives us something fabulous to do in our 'spare time', of which some people have suggested I have copious amounts, myself Image Besides, how could we hate you if we don't even know you Image ? Not a chance. Good luck with your business Image ------------------ http://www.hermitcrab01@hotmail.com
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Postby Tituba » Fri Apr 30, 2004 6:45 am

To the newbies - please don't read this thread and get intimidated by the "rules." Except for Barbara's quote - the rest of the thread is just our 2 cents. Until Barbara gets to this thread and writes what she wants with her board, it is just our opinion. The reason I think Barbara wants newbies to contribute before they post their own issues is because alot of people feel a sense of urgency and desperation. When you hold off on those feelings and help others first, you can sometimes put your own issues in a better framework. Most of this thread is about the mechanics anyways (doing a search, deleting a thread, don't type in caps, put returns to break up thoughts, don't post same thing to multiple threads). This is just to help with the reading. I hope newbies don't read this thread and get timid about staying with us! There is so much talent and wisdom on this board and I would hate for anyone to be chased off thinking we are strict.
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Postby GiniDee » Mon May 03, 2004 1:23 am

Tituba is so right, as ever! Image
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Postby Tituba » Tue May 04, 2004 4:40 pm

Hey, take a look at Michael's site rules. Looks like a good starting point, plus it is a fixed post at the top of the forum. http://forums.michaels.com/community/postlist.php?Cat=&Board=UBB8
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Postby MDG » Tue May 04, 2004 7:46 pm

Aw, sugar, Mahara...go ahead and admit it. As testament to the marvelous variety of people we have here... ...I just noticed today that some people are called New Members (over there on the left, under your username), for a couple of weeks, or until they have posted X number of times, or something. ...It took me ages to realize that the whole thread one is posting to, is available below the posting box. (You should have seen me using the 'back' button! And, then I learned about the 'forward' button, too. So, I could send posts shooting off into cyberspace with great style. Image) ...To this day, in two years, I don't think I've read the FAQs. Image ...For the last few weeks I've been laying rather low, not in exhaustion and burnout, but because my husband really likes me to cook sometimes, and dust. Also, it's planting time. Today, because I have a few hours to myself, I'm right back on these boards again. I admit it. I'd rather be here than most anywhere. Taking a peek at Wishes and Obstacles (thinking I'd have to, at least, read the thread titles back for pages and pages), I discovered that I've failed in a responsibility. When a person opens their mouth and speaks as "the voice of 'experience'", she bloody well better follow through - do what she says, or hints, she will. I just read, and re-read, every word posted in this thread. It took me a couple of hours. I see two things... ...The people on these bulletin boards are wonderfully thoughtful, intelligent, and creative. We care about each other. ...I was asked to start a new thread where people could add brief and clear suggestions for managing these boards. I didn't. So, it happened in this thread, anyway. But, I doubt Barbara, or webperson Merk, has the time to read it all. Myself, I am often lost in terminology. And, I don't read screens easily. So, I'm wondering if some really knowledgeable person has the time and interest to quickly scan for the actual, clear, webpage-design ideas stated in this thread, organize them into a list, and post the list to the Webpage Comments forum. It appears to me that there are two sides to our discussion here... ...The actual design ideas, and, ...Our feelings about these bulletin boards, and the posts we read and make. Post Toastie, though I am, Image, I got here through all the same feelings as everyone else. And, it's been one of the most significant experiences of my life. Also, I'm not even a green-eyed redhead sporting a Yorkie! I am just a slightly older woman who loves people, and writing. I think we've found Barbara, who has found a fine solution to helping everyone. No, I think she has found the solution. This bulletin board has grown mighty large. Perhaps the solution to all our problems here, is to get ourselves into Success Teams. If we think that, maybe we should say so more often, in our replies. It's all there, free, at www.wishcraft.com and www.shersuccessteams.com We take the chance of being understood, and supported, among thousands of 'strangers', when we post to these forums. It would be so much easier to do it in a Success Team of six, or so. Did you know that Barbara has designed in comfort and relaxation, specifically and deliberately to ease us over shyness? That's one of the cornerstones of her method! In a Success Team, we can get over anxiety and benefit our health, both at the same time, and in just a few minutes! Be reassured. A Success Team is not a dumping ground for woes and whyfor's. There just isn't time! When you take a chance on meeting Success Team 'strangers', you'll find the atmosphere wonderfully uplifting, in fact, lifting you lightly over obstacles and toward goals you thought impossible. Barbara loves 'the impossible', you've heard her say so again and again. That's her gift, her genius. She's given us her best answers. They work. Let's give them a try. (Lordluvaduck, it took me ages, and two Sher workshops, to know what a Success Team is!!!) Many here are Success Team graduates, and many are registered Success Team leaders. Will you tell us the value, in your lives, of your team experiences? Perhaps in Deep and Shallow Discussions, or where you think appropriate? Maybe Success Stories would be best. I am sure glad to be here. You guys are wonderful. Mahara
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Postby Tituba » Wed May 05, 2004 3:54 pm

To everyone - Barbara told me she has read this thread and will be incorporating alot of the ideas into the board. Details will be given to us in a few weeks. As you know, she is headed off to Turkey, so hang tight.
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Postby GiniDee » Thu May 06, 2004 8:09 pm

I don't think Success Teams are the answer to everything people bring to these boards. But I look forward to what Barbara has to say about how to make the best use of these boards for the greater good of all. I love being here too. Beats 'real life' many days Image
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Postby althea » Thu May 06, 2004 8:47 pm

I'm a newbie and I find it very helpful when a topic gets started and someone posts a link to a gem of a thread on the same topic. I'm perfectly willing to 'do my homework' in a manner of speaking, but sometimes using the search function takes you to a thread with very interesting people making comments, and those people are long gone. It's a bit disheartening. I also get frustrated by the search function when there's no distinction between people starting a thread and participating on someone else's thread.
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Postby GiniDee » Fri May 07, 2004 9:51 pm

Good point about the search function, althea Image
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Postby BarbaraSher » Sat May 08, 2004 6:26 pm

Wow, this is a tough issue. I've started telling everyone in my workshops around the country that they're welcome to come here to get ideas and suggestions but there's been such a flood of people -- almost all of them wonderful but some who are really desperate -- that it's been a strain on all the big-hearted people who rush in to help, so they have to spend a few weeks helping others. I've said that I told everyone presently here that they should do a search before they rush in to help too fast to see if the new comers have tried to help others before they rush in. So I think that will help a little. I also see that newcomers feel put off by my message and I can see why. It's hard to control the problem people without all newbies thinking you're talking about them. Even the well-done rules on other sites feel forbidding to me. It's going to take some thought to make the board a welcoming and inviting place while still laying out rules. I don't know if I have time to really go through and assess all these great suggestions and evaluate all the problems, but the longer I wait to find time, the more people post! We've got 3 pages now. It's obviously a hot subject and I wish I had more time to go over it carefully. But I'm leaving the country tomorrow, so I'm going to go into each suggestion (where I have something specific to say --and if I have time to do it) to make comments right in the middle of the post. We'll be able to put up the "rules" in a Read Only forum (or some such thing) when the new, more spacious bulletin board comes in maybe next month or the month after. Okay, here goes.
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Postby MDG » Sun May 09, 2004 12:58 am

Thanks so much for your time and attention to this, Barbara. I am particularly interested in your statement...
I've said that I told everyone presently here that they should do a search before they rush in to help too fast to see if the new comers have tried to help others before they rush in.
I think that is a fine suggestion, that responders also do some searching, and check that the person asking for assistance has spent some time contributing. I think that contributing to the boards is the only way that newcomers can get to know the spirit and purpose of your hosting. I am certain that long-time 'lookers' will understand, too. This is a wonderful place, and so important to many, many people. Computering, itself, is a relatively new communications medium, and we appreciate well-considered guidelines. Thanks. Mahara Now I'm going to print out this entire thread, with your comments included...
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Postby Tituba » Sun May 09, 2004 1:03 am

Thanks Barbara! I know your time is tight but as we discussed, this was a growing thread that cried out for you! Anyways, about the search function, it doesn't work very well. I posted the bug on website comments and your webmaster replied that it sometimes works. He hoped that it would be resolved when you go to the new bulletin board.
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Postby MDG » Sun May 09, 2004 1:49 am

Barbara, I really like your comment... <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>... I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED THIS BOARD TO BE MORE ACTION THAN ANALYSIS ORIENTED. I'VE TRIED TO SEND ANYTHING THAT'S NOT ACTION/STRATEGY/PROBLEM-SOLVING TO THE "DISCUSSIONS" FORUM (THERE'S SOMETHING THAT REQUIRES A VOLUNTEER MONITOR) OF COURSE WE ALWAYS WANT TO CLOSE RANKS AROUND SOMEONE WHO HAS TAKEN STEPS AND IS SCARED, OR TO COMFORT ANYONE WHO HAS SCRAPED THEIR KNEE, BUT THE HEART OF WHAT SHOULD HAPPEN HERE IS ACTION, NOT REFLECTION.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
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