Barbara's New Rules: Stay Tuned!

If you have a question, look here first. New users, post here first.

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Postby GiniDee » Tue May 11, 2004 12:24 pm

Good show, both of you. You two are both too valuable to let anything get in the way of clear communication. I send love to everyone. Back to bed. Image Image
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Postby Scorpio Moon » Tue May 11, 2004 1:21 pm

This is what happens when you get a bunch of strong, independent and intelligent people together. Image
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Postby jena » Tue May 18, 2004 9:33 am

Hello all, I wanted to toss a bit of a \"newbie\" perspective into the ring. Mind you, I have been actively online since 1994, so I am not an Internet newbie, and I believe (n)etiquette and propriety online are absolutely necessary to make any list or board work. I think it's great of all of you to be doing what you are doing to preserve the goodness of the list and its purpose. That is very noble of all of you, and this is a sincere thank-you that I offer. I have served as a list moderator for two lists that required a lot of moderating, and so I sympathize with your challenges. However, there are some people who really do need help that hasn't been offered anywhere else on the Wishes and Obstacles bulletin board, and when they turn here, they really, *really* need it. I, for example, am one of these people. I joined the list after reading both _Wishcraft_ and _I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was_ before I discovered Barbara's website. It provides the opportunity for people to work with the ideas brought up in the books, and to find answers to questions not answered in either book. I was so thankful to find it, especially when I did, and am still very glad it is here. When I first signed up to post, though, I had problems with even being issued a user ID. I never received an email explaining anything, and so was just plain confused. I missed Jezicka's reposting of the delay before which new users could post to the Wishes and Obstacles list, and so when trying to post, was even *more* confused. I would like to suggest that sending out an automated email that explains the guidelines/rules of the list/board would be really helpful, not only to new users, but to yourselves. It would also direct the information where it is most needed--to those new users, and not to the list, where it can be overlooked/ignored more easily by new users. To give you an example of the timely need for acceptance of postings, I have been struggling with thoughts of suicide for a long time, and at the time I first attempted posting--and even now--I struggle with it daily. When I kept attempting to post, got no response, and never saw my postings out there, I just cried, and cried, thinking the universe was again demonstrating it was conspiring against me. :D Chuckles aside, though, if that had occurred two weeks ago, I might not be here today, because I had reached the point at which I thought I had no options, and just one more example of that would quite possibly have pushed me over the edge. It's really quite harsh to hold out that white flag of hope, and then to pull it away. I didn't give that example to make you feel guilty, or to create a pity party for me. I just wanted to point out that it would really help to find another solution, or set of solutions to the problems you have seen on this board. Someone (who referred to her techie mind) suggested the idea of volunteer moderators. That would be a good one, but the amount of traffic on the board might make this prohibitive if all the moderators receive a copy of each newbie's posting. If there were a central location that these postings are posted to, where volunteer moderators could review them, then it would make the \"job\" much more voluntary. Or, perhaps a weblog-like system like slashdot's, whereby other users get to determine the status of members, based upon the quality of their postings, and thereby the software determines whether to post the posting, and/or where to place it in view for members of the list. That software may not work here, and would require some somewhat enormous changes, but maybe there is some bulletin-board software out there with similar features. Anyhoo, my $.02 worth, at great length. :) jena
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Postby DebbieU » Tue May 18, 2004 11:57 am

I would just like to say that this website is truly a brilliant concept and I have appreciated everyone's valuable input and feedback. I have tried to offer help to others but since I live in Toronto Canada, any resources that I know of to help someone are specific only to Canadians. It makes me feel helpless. In the feedback/comments I have received, unfortunately many of the comments are relative to American resources. I think Barbara Sher's work is phenomenal and would love it if this forum board could be set up separately for use in Canada. Thank you, Debbie
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Postby Vict » Wed May 26, 2004 7:45 pm

Partly bumping this to the top again... Partly a thought for DebbieU~ Someone mentioned this before, and I must say I disagree with setting up a separate spot for Canuks. As it happens, there are businesses and contacts I know in Canada, but I would never look in on a Canadian board. You'd be losing lots of potential help from others in my position. I think best to specify in your query that you need specific references to Canada, and forgive those who will still, with every best intent, offer up U.S. contacts.
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Postby DebbieU » Thu May 27, 2004 5:56 am

Good point, I never thought of specifying that I need the answer relevant to Canadian resources. Thanks, Debbie
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Postby Tituba » Fri Jun 04, 2004 5:33 am

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE read the descriptions of the forums before you post! Also, while the colors are great, keep in mind that the light colors (cyan, yellow etc.) don't show up readable when different styles are used. If you are going to use them, please make them bold so they can be seen.
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Postby spark » Wed Aug 25, 2004 4:24 am

bumping for newbies
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Postby mmarie » Sun Sep 12, 2004 10:08 pm

bumpity-bump :D
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Postby Tituba » Tue Oct 12, 2004 5:06 am

bumping for new members
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Postby Moonracer » Wed Dec 08, 2004 8:47 am

I hate to sound stupid, or break the very rules you are imparting, but what the heck does "bump" mean? I've seen it throughout the board, but I have no clue what it means! Please fill me in.
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Postby Scenario Thinker » Wed Dec 08, 2004 8:59 am

The threads within a forum are sorted in decsending date order based upon the last post added. So the thread with the latest date is at the top. Any time you want to bring a thread back to the top, you add a reply and can type anything ("bump" is used to mean bump to the top) and the thread will then have the latest post and be sorted to the top.
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Postby Moonracer » Wed Dec 08, 2004 11:38 am

S. Thinker, thanks for the explanation. Now I get it! Warning: This post is going to be long. I apologize in advance. I have just read through this entire thread. As a new poster, I would like to offer my perspective on a few things...assuming that's OK... And so I do not come across wrong, let me state up-front that I appreciate everyone who is on this thread and all of the thousands of people who participate on this board. Their support and suggestions are invaluable. I bet many dreams have been realized as a result of this board (not to mention the efforts of Barbara herself!!). I'm pretty new, and have found it difficult to figure out how things are set up. I've been trying to take time to learn the "right" way of doing things, but for someone who is new to this type of thing, I have to admit I am pretty confused about how it all works. Some of the suggestions posted here would be very helpful to me. For those who are "oldies, but goodies" please be patient with the new folks. We aren't doing things wrong on purpose. I think newer people are generally more vulnerable in general, so a little TLC can go a long way. (Most of you have been great, very helpful, supportive. Thank you!) If you see me erring, send me a private message explaining it. Please don't chastise me on the board itself. It hasn't happened to me (yet), but I have seen it. I imagine it would be humiliating, and would definitely be discouraging...and could even break someone's spirit. The bickering between posters is also counterproductive. It makes me afraid to post for fear of getting smacked down publicly. I have not posted a request myself, and have only been answering where I think I can help. With one exception. I noticed there was a request that after some time, no one responded to, so I did my best to come up with something helpful. I don't think I would have responded otherwise, but the idea of asking for help and getting no response made my heart ache. It may have been a mistake, but my heart led me to do it. Maybe one of the frequent visitors could be on the lookout for those types of posts and at least offer encouragement, if not suggestions? As for length of posts, mine tend to be long. But I think (hope) they are useful. Perhaps I am over-explaining so my intent won't be misinterpreted. After reading several threads, some of the shorter replies seem curt. I might not have understood the experienced posters' appreciation of brevity, but rather felt hurt by a clipped response. But maybe that's just me. (Words of encouragement, no matter how short are always great. It warms my heart to see how much people care.) Conversely, I have to say that it sometimes bugs me when people chime in with nothing more than agreement. I know that this is nit-picky, but I am new and it makes it really time consuming when you are trying to read the entire thread to see if what you think might be helpful has already been addressed. But I don't want people to blab on and on either. Wish there was some way to strike a balance. Self-editing is tough when you are excited to respond. I am sure I have been guilty of not looking before I leap. Don't get me wrong, I am all for getting the background before offering suggestions. I just wish some of the threads were edited at some point, or that folks would not jump in unnecessarily. I cannot read the board as often as I would like, so I often have to re-read the whole thread to prevent duplicating suggestions. Is it possible to create some sort of "dead" file? Needs a better name, but some of the posts languish for a very long time. I have read thru many, based on the subject, and gotten all fired up and ready to help and found out that the thread died in 1996! Maybe an archive of some kind? I, too worry about the tone of my posts. I really, really want to be helpful. I want to support people's pursuit of their dreams and provide something that I hope will be useful. One of the downfalls of boards is that you can't really know the tone in which something is said. Without the voice, much more of it is left to interpretation. It seems that some posters (experienced as well as new) tend to assume what someone's tone was and respond accordingly, leading everyone down another path entirely. This causes me to agonize over what I've said and how I've said it, praying that it won't be taken the wrong way. I have abandoned some threads altogether because I am intimidated by some of the veterans. I also have a great concern about the content of some of the advice offered. There are a couple of places where people have offered medical and legal advice, and the wording makes it appear as if the poster is an expert. This worries me greatly because some of the information offered is factually incorrect and/or potentially harmful. Not sure what the solution is. I also wish that everyone would remember that no one's advice or suggestions are more valuable than anyone else's. It doesn't matter how long you have been a member, nor how old you are, how many careers you've had, etc. We are all just doing our best to help where we can, when we can. All this being said, I truly feel that this board is immensely helpful. These are just issues that I have noticed and struggled with myself. I am extremely grateful for all of the information offered because whether or not I was able to use it, I appreciate the fact that people in this world are willing to reach out to each other and to feel comfortable enough to ask for help when they need it. Thank you all for your participation. (Especially those who had the stamina to read this whole post!) I am going to hit "submit" now...after editing several times. I hope I don't regret it... (Please be gentle.)
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Postby Moonracer » Wed Dec 08, 2004 4:25 pm

God bless you, Vict! Thanks for being gentle with me. You are absolutely right about how tricky all of this is. I am sure I will do something dumb, probably many times. And I don't mind doing the homework at all...I just need to know where to find it. Maybe I'm dense, but this hasn't been intuitive for me. If you ever have constructive criticism for me, please feel free to send it along (via PM, per earlier post). I'm sure you do get your share of nasty reactions. I guess the trick is to try to take things in the spirit in which they were intended. And assume that the intent was meant to be helpful, not an admonishment. You are right about the PM thing. I think I set mine up right because I have gotten one private message. But as for preferences and all of that, I have no clue how to do it. The previous suggestions about how to make all of the directions clearer to "us" would be great. Maybe a simple list of steps of how to set everything up and a glossary of terms? I'd be grateful for something that says, "Step#1, do this..., Step#2, do that..." But I defer to the experts among you. I see your point about the Success Stories. I have to admit, I've never read them. I guess I've been focusing on helping, rather than celebrating. It's probably important to do both, right? I will make a better effort to check them out. That's a great suggestion for updating old threads. Every person has the potential to help, right? I know that oftentimes seeing someone else's suggestions in a thread give me yet another idea, which I then post. And so on and so on. The fever of inspiration, I guess! Thanks again for your perspective.
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Postby Tituba » Sun Jan 02, 2005 12:55 pm

bumping for newbies
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