Suggestion -- people should be required to post acheivements

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Suggestion -- people should be required to post acheivements

Postby KTM » Sat Jun 05, 2004 2:58 pm

Dear All: So many times I read an interesting dream/wish/obstacle on the board and never find out the outcome or see that the OP even acknowledged the suggestions. I would love to see responses to people who ACHIEVED what they started! The boards seem to hold so many dreams and I would love the see them turned into realalities (sic)....the sucesses forum doesn't seem to fit the bill as the orginal thread may be non-existant and is not linked to the outcome. Sincerely, KTM
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Postby ekf » Tue Jun 08, 2004 5:09 pm

Great suggestion.
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Postby Tituba » Tue Jun 08, 2004 5:22 pm

Maybe they don't post because it didn't pan out and they don't want to risk talking about it again??? That would be a shame. It is bad when people (especially the newbies) pop in, ask a question, we give them ideas, and they disappear. Without any acknowledgment or many times even a 'thanks.' I don't think it is necessary to thank each person who posts individually. But a general "thanks for the ideas," would be nice manners.
Last edited by Tituba on Fri Jun 11, 2004 2:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby katchal » Wed Jun 09, 2004 1:02 pm

Be patient. Sometimes it takes a while for people to a) reach their goals and b) feel comfortable enough about having reached them to crow a little. Don't worry, as you read posts over time and get to know the members, you'll get to enjoy the vicarious thrill of watching your board friends achieve amazing successes.
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Postby BarbaraSher » Thu Jun 10, 2004 1:38 pm

It would be so great, though, if people would (after thanking everyone, and maybe even commenting on the suggestions -- which would help them think them through or get questions answered) just tell us what happened next. It would be good for them too. Even if they said "This is overwhelming. I think I'm going to change the subject for a week." Or, "I tried to call someone and got an awful response and am ready to give the whole thing up." Instead, so many of us hide out in isolation. We assume people won't bother with us if we don't take their suggestions, or they'll be disappointed if we drop the ball. But it's human nature to move in fits and starts, to get resistant or scared or stubborn or forgetful. It's inevitable and part of the process. But we set standards unrealistically high. Everyone I meet is disapointed in themselves (until I talk them out of it!). Most people aren't very forgiving of themselves so they just disappear and hope no one remembers they asked. It's one of the reasons it's so hard to have a Success Team online. In person or on the telephone you have to show up or you're missed. People know where you were last week so you have to give them a report on what happened. That works, but it's not comfortable. But not showing up when you have an appointment -- that's a clear action, a statement, and most of us aren't willing to take it even if it's uncomfortable to show up. (Think "dentist" or "exam" and you'll see why having to show up works so well.) But I know exactly how all of you feel. I wish I knew what happened next. I wish I was there to help if there was a fumble. I hate to think of people feeling alone and disappointed in themselves.
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Postby MDG » Thu Jun 10, 2004 3:15 pm

Barbara, That's a wonderful post! You've nailed it for us. I complained to friends yesterday. I had an appointment to expose an idea I've been hatching for years, and I was scared to go. What if they laughed, and thought me stupid? Or worse - foolish? I went, and it was fine, and didn't hurt a bit. Now I must wait and see. But, I should tell the friends I whined to. Otherwise it's a cliff-hanger. In their imaginations I'm still in a funk, but I'm not really. I'm over it and on to the next phase. A listening ear is so valuable that it's not fair not to report back, good, bad, or indifferent though the results may be. Reporting back feels so good, too, clarifying progress and the next steps for me. Beautifully said, Barbara. Many thanks. Mahara
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Postby Scooterman » Fri Jun 11, 2004 5:11 am

KTM, One thing that made me reluctant to reply to this message was the fact that I've had too many successes over the last 40 years. Now that I finally figured out what I want to do I'm finding it difficult to get motivated pursuing my new career. On education, my parents and I couldn't afford to send me to a descent college to get the astronomy degree I thought I wanted. So, I did really well in high school and was awarded one of three full tuition scholarships to the college of your choice in the county where I lived back in 1962. I wound up receiving $6,000 over four years which was a lot of money back then. But I learned I really didn't want to be an astronomer who would wind up nursing photographic plates in a cold observatory at 3am in the morning looking for lost comets. But I used my degree to work for aerospace firms for seven years after graduation and got job deferments that helped me avoid going to Viet-Nam! That degree was successful far more than I ever could have imagined! Because NASA credited me with devising the rescue plan for an out of control and newly launched satellite, I talked my aerospace employer into paying for my law school tuition, another $6,000 in the early seventies! Starting a family seemed like an easy task; when we got married, my wife and I envisioned a family of three children but infertility doctors said that wasn't to be and we wound up having to adopt our kids. Our three babies arrived when they were 2 months, 3 months and 6 weeks of age over twelve years. Each one was beautiful, looked perfectly healthy, bright eyed and bushy tailed, but all three needed extra services in school and from doctors. I didn't wind up using the law degree I had gotten at night while working for my aerospace employer trying to convict criminals, I used it to advocate for our kids and see that they got the services they were entitled to under the law! And my wife didn't use what she learned teaching special education kids in schools for very long because she needed to use some of those skills to raise our kids. We both succeeded in our careers only it wasn’t what we had expected! I used my law degree to work for the Department of Justice for seven years helping automate the work of other lawyers. Eventually I got a job as the special assistant to the head of a small government agency where I was to automate the entire office back in 1982; I thought it was the perfect job but it turned out to be the beginning of my personal “perfect storm!” I was laid off from it and two other jobs over the next four years for lack of money, work and had my function abolished! But I found ways to survive all three although my bank and savings accounts sure didn't do very well. But I came away from the experience knowing I could survive! The worst success I ever had was persevering in finding out what was wrong with my body! Once during my aerospace career, my colleagues rushed me to the ER after I fell off the toilet with my entire left side paralyzed. I had been trying to find out what was wrong with my body for three or four years because of other weird symptoms but having the ER doctor put down “possible brain tumor” and then my own doctor say “you probably had an inner ear infection” when I was released from the hospital three days later only convinced me to keep trying to find out what was wrong with my body. Four years later a shrink realized I had multiple sclerosis. Talk about “good news and bad news;” I now had a diagnosis but for an illness that had no known cure! But I even found out what “worked for me!” I discovered that by always finding the humor in any adversity I encountered I was somehow able to minimize my symptoms and entertain friends in the process! I can look back on the last forty-two years of life and certainly be able to say I had successes, but the results weren’t quite what I expected them to be! Watch out for what you wish for, you just might get it! I got the education I wanted, for free! We got all the children we wanted but just not in the way we expected. I got the perfect job and a lot more! And I even wound up understanding my body, better, but did I really want to know all I found out? I hope those experiences give you food for thought! Stan
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