QUOTE FOR THE DAY

[Jason]

"A guy in a bar sees another guy fall off his stool three times. He asks him where he lives and takes him home. When he gets there, he says, 'Mrs. Phillips, I have your husband here.' She says, 'Where's his wheelchair?'" -- Henny Youngman

[Jason]

"I make stained glass contact lenses - for people who want to sleep in church." -- London Lee

[Jason]

"I went to an authentic Mexican restaurant. The waiter poured the water and warned me not to drink it." -- Brad Garrett

[Jason]

"We were poor when I was young, but the difference then was the government didn't come around telling you you were poor." -- Ronald Reagan

[Jason]

"You feel completely in control when you hear a wave of laughter coming back at you that you have caused." -- Gilda Radner

[Jason]

"To fulfill a dream, to be allowed to sweat over lonely labor, to be given a chance to create, is the meat and potatoes of life. The money is the gravy." -- Bette Davis

[Jason]

"A day without laughter is a day wasted." -- Charlie Chaplin

[Jason]

"Anyone who has a continuous smile on his face conceals a toughness that is almost frightening." -- Greta Garbo

[Jason]

"The test of good manners is to be able to put up pleasantly with bad ones." -- Wendell Willkie

[Jason]

"Don't feel sorry for yourself if you have chosen the wrong road, turn around." -- Edgar Cayce

[inspiresuccess]

I haven't been back for awhile. Thanks for the laughs, Jason!

[Jason]

No problem! Everyone needs a good laugh!

Here's another...

"One guy says to the other, 'Do you and your wife have mutual climax?' The other said, 'I think we have Prudential'" -- Milton Berle

[Jason]

"Never put anything on paper, my boy, and never trust a man with a small black mustache." -- P.G. Wodehouse

[Jason]

"Don't be humble...you're not that great." -- Golda Meir

[Jason]

"As long as you can savor the humorous aspect of misery and misfortune, you can overcome anything." -- John Candy