150 Steps in October

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Lynx
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legacy?

Post by Lynx »

JaneB: I've thought of you as living in London or something like all this time. Ha! That trick of keeping track is very interesting. On phinished.org there's a feedback system called reverse list. You do what you do and then post it to the site. 7. There's some type of hex on my dad/family that stops us from easy, widespread recognition and success. This hex seems to fall on my dad's side of the family. My uncle and cousin seem to be quite well known and rewarded by the culture/economy. Part of it seems to be dad/my brothers and myself all create. We push, pull against convention, the usual way to do things. I've explored this in therapy some, and it's even a topic my brother and I talk about. We've seen good ideas languish, patent ideas stolen and profited from by others, and our work failing to find an audience. I'm reading a book now called the Luck Factor, by Richard Wiseman. More than anything it's clarified the 12 aspects of a lucky attitude and narrowed down for me just where I need to make changes. If you've ever read another book, Psycles, you may know that 24 to 36 hours after something you'll get an emotional reaction. Well, after reading this book I've felt uplifted and as bouyant as I've felt in the past 7 years. This is mixed in with clarity about surrendering my independence for filthy lucre. Lynx tags: hex, legacy, family
"Vision is not enough. It must be combined with venture. It is not enough to stare up the steps; we must step up the stairs." Vaclav Havel

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Re: 150 Steps in October

Post by An8el »

JaneB:
... meeting someone online. Feeling increasingly prompted to try that myself. Letting go of the false notion that it is just for "losers and desperate types". I started browsing some sites, looked at some ads, started putting some thought into what I would write about myself, decided to make a draft of it, chose a few nice photos of me... ok but I haven't listed an ad yet. Still some resistance there obviously.
Well, your resistance will be rewarded! :P The personals online are not only for losers, just for people who are circumstantially isolated. My experience with advertising online in the personals thing that if you are a "normal" type person, it works OK, but if you aren't, (as we seem to be) it's very tricky to find a match. Many people are online because they can't dare to actually connect for many reasons - yet. My advice is to meet ASAP. Don't get involved emailing someone who is too far away - which is what most commonly happens. (Remember, you already have a much better prospect who is too far away.) The Personals thing still great to do as an exercise. What writing a personal ad will do for you is to clarify what it is that you want in someone else. How would you recognize someone who was great for you? Write your ten non-negotiable minimums...write your ten hopeful maximums. Imagine exactly who might regard all of your traits as an advantage - even the limitations. Then, you can post online or not. Sometimes a personal ad acts like a prayer to make you recognize someone as a possible lover who you already know but never considered before. (I think it's better than advertising to just tell everyone you know that you need to meet more guys.)

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Re: 150 Steps in October

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Ah, that was a nice breather going camping - right on the beach! Also spent two days helping my friend organize her office and scored some freebies that seem really useful. Time for a re-group and re-define. Starting to gear up for my trip to CA in Nov. I won't have much chance to do internet access - so I'll have to report in on some of the longer-term goals after the first week of December. So, I'll just keep my nose after the short term goals for now. Bring in stuff from camping from car - and my "new" bike! Deal with organizing laundry in the various places I've stacked 'em up. Make a spot for new table! Do the recommended spyware fix on ancient laptop Add to spot of things I'm taking on my trip. Vote at the early voting place tomorrow Make Dr. appointment - get blood test - refill meds If there is time - print out another billing to be distributed when I arrive in Nov.

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Re: 150 Steps in October

Post by Jane B »

An8el, thanks so much for your feedback, I found it really encouraging. I'd be curious to hear what it is you define as "normal people" in this context. My guess is you feel that people such as ourselves have lifestyles and values that differ from those of most people. If so, I tend to agree with you and can't hide that this is one of the main reasons why I feel resistance when trying something like online dating. Nevertheless, I am approaching this idea the way you suggested: it could be a good exercise to help me clarify what it is I want. I think that just getting out and dating people would also help boost my confidence and be a good learning experience. And who knows, maybe I will meet someone interesting. There's also the issue I mentioned previously, that in the past few years I've always been dating the same types of guys (creative/artsy types) and I think perhaps it couldn't hurt to broaden the scope of my "search". In any case, I would try to use a service that would allow me to meet people in my area. Unfortunately, I feel like these personal/social goals will be put on the backburner for the next few months. I need to shift my priorities to my translation business. The long term contract I've been working on is ending in a few months. In addition, I am beginning to feel the impact of the recent economic crisis. Having to negotiate contracts at lower rates due to clients' budget constraints. I also faced a frustrating situation with the long-term contract I'm working on. The company had given me a large manual to translate at my own pace over the course of my mandate, and were willing to pay me a high rate for it due to the technical content. I hadn't gotten around to doing much of it until now, but I planned to get it done in the next few months. And then recently I learned that due to the organization's tighter management of expenditures, they have to impose a monthly limit on my services; this limit won't allow me to complete the translation of the manual, unless my contract is extended. I find this rather disappointing, as I would have liked to get it done; it would have generated a nice chunk of money I could have saved up in anticipation of the work slump I will possibly experience after this contract. In any case, the next months I will have to considerably increase my prospecting efforts and I will translate as much of that manual as I possibly can. I am also going to start preparing an application for the professional translator's association in my area, something I've been procrastinating about for a long time. I have enough work experience to qualify and it would add credibility to my profile and offer me a lot of networking opportunities. This means no crazy impulsive trip to California on New Year's Eve. Ah well. Also thinking I will switch to taking my voice lessons once a month for a while instead of twice, for time and $$ reasons. This is what I mean when I talk about the cyclical nature of my life! On a happier note, my band and music seem to be doing pretty well. We have three shows booked from now until the holidays. Most of the venues we've played are booking us a second time, which is a good sign. I'm also noticing a major improvement on my singing due to the voice lessons. Oh and this week I was finally able to "free" my cat whom I had to keep in a cage for a month due to an extermination treatment. Really relieved about that.

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Re: 150 Steps in October

Post by Mannix »

Hi, everyone, I'm sure you all have been waiting to hear ... my cold has completely gone away. (Just in time for the new 150 Steps thread. Applause, please ...) Had a very interesting afternoon. I assigned myself 30 minutes to work on my blog. For me, that means turning off the TV and doing online research. So suddenly I had a desperate need to watch the end of "Judge Judy" and the next mindless courtroom show. I finally shut off the tube and went to my desk, about an hour later than I'd planned. Set the timer for half an hour. I got so involved in the research, I worked for another hour. Now THIS is what I want as part of my "big goal!" As I was working, I found myself in the mindframe of "blogger, researcher, and excellent writer." Not "someone just playing around" or "dilettante" or any other derogatory term. Of course, I neglected the other steps I'd planned to do this afternoon, but that hasn't seemed so important. They'll get done, just at a different time. (Who is this person thinking these alien thoughts?) By the way, does anyone know what the newspaper of record is for Lafayette, Indiana? Jane, are you looking at dating sites, like match.com, or profile sites like MySpace, or both? I think meeting online is now pretty mainstream. An8el, do you think "mainstream" might also describe those you term "normal people"? I think everyone here is normal, just not travelling the same paths as the herd. :) I would agree also with An8el's advice to meet any online prospects in person as soon as possible. And don't let anyone convince you to add them to your cellphone calling plan. (See, you do learn stuff on "Judge Judy." :wink: ) Lynx, Jane, and others taking hits from the slumping economy, I am keeping my fingers crossed for you. Perhaps we should start a support thread for people making tough economic adjustments. What do you think? I'm starting the November 150 Steps thread tonight, as I may be wrapped up with Halloween activities tomorrow. Happy trick or treating, all! -- Mannix

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closesout

Post by Lynx »

Wow, what an October this was for me. Coming across that list of thoughts that frame my life and getting started on them really brought home that my consulting is suffering big time from the recession/depression. Depressing! i'll say. It was suffering before the recession/depression. What's worse than depressing? It's shaken my faith that I'll keep this independence thing going. It's interesting, when I was double crossed out of a job and later ineligible for unemployment (and too dispirited to fight it) I thought, well, perhaps this will be one of those "if it hadn't been for ... " stories. The types of which I used to customarily generate all the time. Well, sort of. Three years ago I almost stopped trying, found this group, got an upsurge in work and did some of the most interesting projects in my life. But, here I sit, again, and I'm just feeling like the WWW2 stuff that I 'ought' to do, the constant networking, relationship building, etc. may not be enough if the gigs just are drying up. So, it's been a lot of learning, way too many failed applications, maybe five decent paying clients, lots of interesting small gigs. As long as the free time didn't over stress me I've been freed to read, study, reflect, and climb out of my grief and sadness. JaneB, you're right on the mark to batten down for an indefinite period. Get that translation membership in and see what it leads to. Mannix, perhaps that 'cold' was allowing that researcher, blogger, writer self a cover to get stronger. I predict that with the shifts going on in the economy we'll see more lively interest in this thread from now through the winter. Next post: in the November Thread. It's been almost 33 years of framing my life towards independent living/freelance contracting. Not much to 'show' for all this due to heavy losses, but the experiences and learning = priceless! L tags: grief, closeout, recession, end of month
"Vision is not enough. It must be combined with venture. It is not enough to stare up the steps; we must step up the stairs." Vaclav Havel

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