150 Steps for July '09

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Re: 150 Steps for July '09

Postby paralegalgirl » Sat Jul 18, 2009 11:02 am

Hi: Some day we'll all be rich, and we'll meet in London.
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Re: 150 Steps for July '09

Postby sallypz » Sat Jul 18, 2009 10:05 pm

PLG, congrats on 145 days of not smoking. Good girl!! When I took dancing at Fred Astaire I was 49-50 y/o---(5 years ago)---the oldest lady (student) at that studio was in her mid 70's. I was also a size 10-12 back then, I was reminded of this today. I was going through boxes of clothes that have been in storage since then & found some of the dresses I wore dancing. I was single & alone then so had some extra money to spend on clothes, so I would dress up in the wildest, sexiest dresses I could find for dancing--even the lessons. That's the nice thing about being older---you can dress up in whatever you want, slinky to the max & nobody really looks--nobody cares what you wear. It felt wonderful to dress up like that when I was dancing. I also had some "Glamour Shots" taken back then---I did look decent for an old lady!! It was great fun to spoil myself that way. And, no, I don't look like Zelda Fitzgerald. (And, yes, I am no longer a size 10-12---much pudgier now) You're right FA does lead you into spending large sums of money on lessons. Don't worry about being older in the class, just have fun, dance like Cinderella girl!! There are tons of sites for ballroom dancing in the midwest. Found some in Chgo...still looking for something closer. I have some dance videos to practice with if I want, but is more fun at a studio with other people. Woman (in her late 40's) I use to work with took ballroom dancing lessons in Florida, at a local community Center, she ended up marrying the instructor... I also crochet. When I quit smoking, years ago, I decided to use the money I'd save from not smoking for crafts and yarn. There use to be a factory-outlet-discount yarn store near where I lived that had great bargains on yarn. Our old house was big & I had my own craft room & storage area. Much of the yarn I never used. I also found that in the boxes I'm unpacking...now my basement looks like a yarn store & sewing center!!! Bins & bins & bins of yarn. Unreal!! PLG, your my neighbor to the north, being in Milwaukee...we're in Northern Illinois...about 45 minutes east of Rockford. Wave, wave....Hi, Neighbor!! Mannix, your trip sounds great!! Glad you had fun. Yes, Jeanette is definitely a talented writer. Unity, aka "Zelda"---I'm a little jealous...I only look like me. sallypz (MoxieMe)
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Re: 150 Steps for July '09

Postby Unity » Sun Jul 19, 2009 10:30 am

Hi all, I certainly wouldn't say I look like Zelda now with my denim skirts and trainer sandals, let alone the wrinkles :D I'll see if I can find the photo online where we looked like twins, otherwise when my son next returns home I'll get him to scan the newspaper photo so you can take a look. I don't know if you've heard of a British comic/songwriter called Pam Ayres. She used to write observational poems that were set to music. She had this distinctive hairstyle, hard to describe. One day I arrived late into a Comedy Club and I didn't realise that the comedian was making comments about people in the audience. Well as soon as I walked in he shouted "look who's here - Pam Ayres". Everyone laughed, I was mortified :D PLG, your comment about assuming characters. I must admit that usually acting a role online as well as in real life and hardly anyone has ever seen me being authentic. I'm glad you finally had some feedback about your present. Are you still in touch with anyone from those movie forums?. Sally, you sound as though you had a lot of fun with your dancing and dressing up. Glamour photos too! I decided to get some nice photos done as a present for my parents one year and booked an appointment. However I had rather too much to drink the night before and completely forgot. The morning of the shoot I hadn't set my alarm clock and so was too late to wash my hair. Had to apply makeup on the train :D Out of all the shots, the only one that came out right was the one where they used a fuzzy lens. LOL You lucky thing, unearthing all that craft stash. Have you any plans for it?
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Re: 150 Steps for July '09

Postby Unity » Sun Jul 19, 2009 12:45 pm

Re my above post and Zelda photos. http://bestbooksreview.com/595/fscott-f ... itzgerald/ The one I have at home isn't this one. However, it's similar. In the top photo of Zelda and Scott, she does look very like me years ago except my hair has always been parted on the side and probably has a more 40's look about it. The next photo further down on the right hand side - her face and hair is more like the Pam Ayres look about it as I mentioned before. There is another photo of her when she was about 19, straighter hair (without waves) that's everywhere on the internet and is at the very bottom of the article as a book cover. I've also got a photo of me looking very similar except my hair is longer. She also looks just like me as a child. In fact when I first got the book about her, I felt like contacting her relatives to see if we could be related! Another strange fact regarding lookalikes. When I first met my ex's mother, she looked very similar to me, and even happened to have some identical clothes and coats! And when we were out everyone thought we were related. Makes me wonder about my ex :D
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Re: 150 Steps for July '09

Postby sallypz » Sun Jul 19, 2009 9:24 pm

She ad very intense eyes. Did you read the article?? WOW!! What a prime example of how unfairly women were treated back then. Poor Zelda. What a nightmarish life she had.... repeatedly instituionalized in mental hospitals...given insulin shock treatments & electric shock treatments. Both are more like forms of torture than real treatments. I took care of someone who'd had electric shock treatments....the shock treatments had burned up part of her memory....both short & long term and she was only a shell of a person. Very sad. Very inhuman. I found the article appauling. Ahh..what to do with my little craft stash...mostly it's yarn..although there is some material & baby blanket quilt tops. With the material I want to design some clothes for myself...had some ideas while I lived in Florida for women's suits. <y form of design usually consists of getting a preprinted pattern (or two) then making alterations, adding flourishes, mix and matching pattern pieces. I havn't seen a pattern piece that has the elements I wanted yet. I could either alter a patttern to add what I want...or take apart an old suit & use those pieces as patterns. I want to look for some historic patterns...because some of the things I want may have been in womens clothing of the 40's or 50's. It would be nice to have a 'body form' or mannequin in my size to work on so I can see what things will look like. I have a few ideas for the yarn. I use to crochet 'bed-dolls' using a barbie ( my daughters discarded Barbies) somewhere I have a simple pattern that I've made before. It takes about 40 to 60 hours of work to make each doll. They usuallyend up with some kind of theme..like I made a 'Beach/sea-themed' doll for my mom, the dress was adorned with tiny seashells, I've also used the same pattern, altering it a bit, to make 'angel barbies' bed dolls, wings, halos the whole 9 yards. I give them away usually--they are labor intensive & would not make a profit if I sold them. For some of the yarn I was thinking of creating a granny-square, starter kit, add the right size hook, instructions on how to finish the granny-squares, include ideas on what to make with granny squares, package that uniquely and sell them. There's a yarn/knitting/crochet shop in town here...I wonder if the little kit would sell?? I don't think I'd make a ton of money, but at least, I'd get rid of the yarn!! sallypz (MoxieMe)
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Re: 150 Steps for July '09

Postby Unity » Mon Jul 20, 2009 2:28 am

Sally you have already been thinking about your stash it seems. Those ideas are very interesting. So many people are into crafts these days, I think the internet helps with so much information, blogs and videos that I think your kits could do well. It seems cool for teenagers to be doing it too. Bed dolls. Are these the ones that are like pillows to hide your nightwear? Yes, poor Zelda and other women like her. And not just in those older times too. Nowadays you hear so much about women being unhappy and I think a lot of it happens after marriage where often their identity seems to be overlooked and instead they become 'the wife' and 'the mother' to everyone as though their former self has suddenly disappeared. It happened to me and it can make you feel crazy. Also men don't have 'women's troubles' nor feel like they've been cut in two after childbirth and often it can take years before you finally get better only to discover you seem to have completely disappeared off the radar as everyone is only talking about your babies and it's as though you're no longer there. I noticed that when ever DH was with other people they rarely talked about children to him, but about his work, or sport. But when they were with me, the conversation was always about DH and my children. I ceased to exist. It made me very angry. So I can understand why some women women end up drinking, having affairs, acting crazy, or becoming workaholics. It's probably the only way they can cope with getting ignored all the time.
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Re: 150 Steps for July '09

Postby Mannix » Mon Jul 20, 2009 7:04 pm

Hi, everybody! Just downloaded the pictures from my trip last Friday. The pictures don't seem as good as I thought they'd be, but I think it's because one can't include the excitement one was feeling in the picture itself. Later, I'll run a slideshow on my computer and see which ones are worthy of posting. Met my goal for today of finding at least 2 attractions to visit in the Raleigh-Durham, N.C. area this weekend. It sounds like there will be ample opportunities for me to do some timid traveling. We are driving down Friday, and my Dad is going to start playing in the cribbage tournament Friday afternoon! So I'm planning on only seeing him in the car on the way down and back and MAYBE at meals, although it sounds like I'll be eating on my own, too. (Oh, we're also going to be roommates, which may be interesting.) Not feeling any resistance-fears to doing this touring yet, but I expect it may emerge some time this week. Meanwhile, I'm remembering a couple business trips I took about 15 years ago. They were to cities I'd never been to before and I was scared to death, so all the time I wasn't working I spent in my hotel room. I remember feeling safe and secure at first, but then really bored because all I had to do was watch television. Don't want this trip to be that way, although I doubt it will because I've learned a lot more since then. Unity, I'm sorry you have to deal with that phenomenon where your whole identity is assumed to be wife and mother. I guess I'm at the age where people assume I have children even though I don't. When I tell them I don't, I often get looks as though I've just said I have a communicable disease. I think one of the nice things about this bulletin board is it's really an opportunity to "see" each unique personality, no visual labels to interfere. Hope everyone is well! -- Mannix
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Re: 150 Steps for July '09

Postby paralegalgirl » Tue Jul 21, 2009 2:12 pm

Hi Sally: Thanks for the in depth reply.
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Re: 150 Steps for July '09

Postby paralegalgirl » Tue Jul 21, 2009 2:32 pm

Hi Unity and Mannix:
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Re: 150 Steps for July '09

Postby Mannix » Tue Jul 21, 2009 10:13 pm

Hi, everyone, PLG, you're really getting into that Fred Astaire stuff and it does sound like you're having a great time. You deserve it; I know you've written in the past about all the hassles you've gotten from your dad and family. Congratulations on continuing to stay smoke-free. I've had a sad twist in my routine this evening. A friend who has been battling cancer for a long time now appears about to lose the battle. He is in the hospital with a massive infection but his body is not fighting the infection. His liver is also failing and he's jaundiced. He's in the intensive care unit where they're struggling to get his body temperature to stay above 95 degrees Farenheit. He's also pumped up on some serious drugs - some of what he said not making sense. My husband and I just got back from the hospital where we and his family and friends were keeping vigil in the waiting room. (It's now 1 a.m.) The plan now is to go back to the hospital in the morning. I feel numb right now and a little sick with fear, although he seems to be comfortable and peaceful and not in pain. I think my husband is more upset than he's letting on - he's closer to this person than I am. This poor guy is younger than I am - no more than 41-42 years old. Guess I'll try to get a few hours' sleep. Hope everyone's well, -- Mannix
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Re: 150 Steps for July '09

Postby Unity » Wed Jul 22, 2009 2:55 am

Mannix - sending you hugs and good wishes across the pond at this difficult time for you and your friend's family. No doubt travelling is the last thing on your mind at the moment, it's times like this that we get a wakeup call and start seeing what is really important for us in life. I can just imagine those comments re not having children. Yet those that have them, often regret those decision afterwards, and children aren't like toys, you can't give them back. PLG - you've cheered me up with our song quotes and that you remembered them right at the appropriate moment. Any chance you could be an extra for that film nearby? Regarding other people, I attract a heck of a lot of attention when I'm out with my special needs son as he can get very loud with strange shrieks! Sometimes when people turn round to see where the sounds are coming from - they walk into posts and even knock over supermarket shelves! Well, if I ever become a celebrity at least I'll have had some experience already in people turning round and staring :D I've often felt like asking if they want our autographs LOL
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Re: 150 Steps for July '09

Postby JeannetteLS » Wed Jul 22, 2009 7:19 am

Oh, Mannix. Thoughts, prayers, what have you--all good energy pointed your way. Please remember to breathe.
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Re: 150 Steps for July '09

Postby paralegalgirl » Wed Jul 22, 2009 8:31 am

Mannix: that sucks about your friend. I wish you the best. Unity: glad I cheered you up.
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Re: 150 Steps for July '09

Postby sallypz » Wed Jul 22, 2009 8:37 am

Mannix--so sorry about your friend. He sounds very seriously ill, possibly even near the end. Cancer can be a hard thing to battle. It sounds like he has already put up a valiant and brave fight. My prayers are with him and you. It's difficult, painful to watch someone you care about being very ill. Unity--I, too, know the feeling of losing yourself in the roles of mother/wife. When my husband died unexpectedly in 1999 suddenly I had to face my future alone instead of as a couple. I discovered that I didn't know who I was without him, didn't know what my own interests were as me vs the 'us' I was used to. It took me awhile to discover (and I am still discovering) the things that I like & who "me" is. Tanya, my adopted daughter, has some special needs too. I'm sure she has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome/Effects. I've been reading about it and she has many of the signs...very poor short term memory, extreme difficulty understanding simple math concepts, difficulty understanding simple money concepts, slightly different facial features. Sometimes instead of admitting she doesn't understand something she simply will agree with whatever someone's saying to her (she's afraid she'll be in trouble if she admits she doesn't understand & is trying to please people & be liked) then later she makes mistakes that show she didn't understand...sometimes that makes her come of as lying (which is typical of FAS children). I spent countless times trying to explain to people (family/teachers) her difficulties but because at times she seems so normal they often tell me 'she's faking it', 'she knows much more than you think' or 'she's got you wrapped around her little finger'. Then they get angry with her for 'not trying' or 'misbehaving' or being a 'slow learner' when really she is trying but it's just that her brain doesn't work like 'normal' children's brains do the same connections are not there. It's been damaged by alcohol and physically can't do the things they're expecting of her. People are stubborn (especially teachers). I expect her differences will stand out even more as she gets older. There is a lot of info out there about what FAS is but little on how to help FAS children to cope. I end up feeling like a referee or a buffer between her and the rest of the world at times. Yes and no, the Bed Dolls I make are similar to pjama dolls but they don't have a spot to hide pjamas. The skirt is completely stuffed & ends up looking like an old fashioned southern-belle hoop skirt, then I glue lace and tiny decorations on the skirt. The Beach Angel one had a dress in a sand color, with lace around the bottom and tiny colored (plastic) seashells, starfish, seahorses glued to the dress. Her earrings were tiny dolphins, she had a seashell necklace, her halo was adorned with tiny seashells & she had white angel wings. The Christmas one had a red dress with red and white lace around the bottom, Gibson girl puffy topped sleeves with fur cuffs, kind of fashioned after the red dresses in the movie "White Christmas" she had a red bonnet-type hat, decorated with tiny bits of green holly leaves. Amazingly all it takes to make the dolls 'stand up' in the dress is to make a circle of cardboard for the base and attach an empty cardboard toilet-tissue tube to the middle of the cardboard base & set the doll into that. One of the dolls I used had been one of my daughters old ones & she looked lovely despite the fact that she was minus one leg. The dresses are not removable so you'd never know her defect hiding underneath. PLG--yes, do try to get a role as an 'extra' in the movie. Sounds like fun. Have fun with FA...don't let them talk you out of too much money...they use high pressure tactics at times--they are not beyond using 'instructor attracted to student' as a sales tactic. I've seen that happen. Try other studios too. They may be cheaper. It's all about the fun you can have dancing. This forum is a good help. About this point in the month I need to be reminded of my 150 steps...so I don't get sidetracked and lost in doing something else. I will look back and see what they were. (This is a much less 'high-pressure' month than last month...I don't want to get lazy about things). sallypz (MoxieMe)
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Re: 150 Steps for July '09

Postby Unity » Wed Jul 22, 2009 10:03 am

Hi all PLG, your situation regarding paying for a lesson or a package and the pressure you seem to get from people reminds me a lot of the travel industry where years ago I was wanting an upmarket trip to Monte Carlo. I'd read up on it in advance and went to the agency with a list of things I wanted to do. I ended up walking out of there as all they kept saying to me is that I could cut down on price if I did this and that! I didn't want to cut down on the price, that was the whole point of the trip! To do it in style. They probably wouldn't have been happy until I agreed to cycle there! LOL I wonder if they are on a commission at those dance clubs PLG? Sally - I have heard of FAS. In regards to teacher not believing your daughter is being honest, I can relate to that too as my other son has the same condition as his brother but as he's verbal (the other one isn't) he never fit into the education system because he was like a genius so everyone expected him to act a certain way, but he couldn't. He didn't go to school much because of it. Did you find out much about your daughter's early life? I wouldn't be surprised that just by coming to such a different culture is enough to affect her. I think I mentioned before that I also grew up in a life very different than the one I went to school I'm not sure how I would have coped with it if I had been in her actual situation. I would have thought that the school would have been more sympathetic. I really like the sound of your dolls Sally. Have you any photos?
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