150 Steps for October '09

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Re: 150 Steps for October '09

Postby Unity » Mon Oct 05, 2009 3:48 am

Anne Sophie With all respect, if you knew the slightlest thing about autism and had autistic children of your own as I do you wouldn't be coming out with such garbage. It's most offensive.
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Re: 150 Steps for October '09

Postby Unity » Mon Oct 05, 2009 12:47 pm

Hi Jane, I had been wondering about you and your songwriting, thanks for updating us. And another possible trip, Vietnam! That will be exciting.
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Re: 150 Steps for October '09

Postby paralegalgirl » Mon Oct 05, 2009 3:32 pm

Hi everyone:
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Re: 150 Steps for October '09

Postby Jane B » Tue Oct 06, 2009 6:55 pm

Hello all, Dropping in for a quick "visit". paralegal girl, I'm glad to see your dance lessons are having such great benefits on your mood. Lynx, thanks for commenting that it was humble of me to hire someone to help me; I hadn't seen myself that way. I do consider myself to be a very resourceful person, though. When I want to achieve something and am lacking the skills or know-how to achieve it, I always manage to find the right person(s) to help me. My dating life, for instance. Recently I've decided that I want to invest in improving that. For the past month or so I've been exploring the work of a seasoned "guru" on the subject, David Wygant. His down-to-earth ideas are making a lot of sense to me. He basically tells you there are no shortcuts to meeting someone, you just have to date lots and lots of people, and in order to get lots of dates, it's a matter of getting out every single day and practicing how to be more open to your surroundings, how to approach people, etc. It kind of reminds me of the process I went through when I learned how to make effective cold calls, a skill that was essential to the development of my translation business. As for dating the lyricist, no way is that going to happen: 1) he's in a relationship 2)the chemistry is not there anyway and 3)I try to avoid dating people I work with whenever possible. Other than that I did a bit of work today and went for some immunization shots. Briefly flirted with a guy in the waiting room (there's a step right there :wink: ).
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Re: 150 Steps for October '09

Postby Mannix » Tue Oct 06, 2009 8:24 pm

Hi, everybody, I've decided to step away from the boards for a little while. I hope to check back in again before this month is over. Good wishes and a sharp monthly focus to everybody, -- Mannix
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Re: 150 Steps for October '09

Postby Unity » Wed Oct 07, 2009 7:26 am

Hi Mannix, See you later in the month, and hope you keep up your fitness :D seriously, hope everything goes well for you, I'm guessing you are very busy. Jane, I was reading that dating advice by that D.W and wondered who the advice was aimed at e.g. he's a man. Did he consider that if a woman went on lots of dates with different men, they might get some sort of reputation? Even if the dates were platonic it usually doesn't make a difference. Similarly, if as a female you approached strangers in public, flirted and went on subsequent dates, that could lead to trouble in case they were violent or had something to hide. Also, I was wondering that if you are telling yourself to date lots and lots of people, then wouldn't you be setting yourself up to avoid Mr Right, or even Mr Maybe? Because say you found a really nice guy at the beginning of your dating experiment and at the back of your mind is this fear he might not be suitable, so you could be sizing him up for faults in the knowledge that you plan to be dating lots more. But he might actually be really good for you. OK, obviously sounds as though I don't agree with that DW :D PLG - so lovely to read how happy you are.
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Re: 150 Steps for October '09

Postby paralegalgirl » Wed Oct 07, 2009 8:15 am

Jane B: You're cracking me up. I love your approach to dating. Hire a "guru" to tell you the truth. Stay positive but be realistic.
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Re: 150 Steps for October '09

Postby Unity » Wed Oct 07, 2009 11:17 am

PLG, The studio can be the setting for a soap opera, two brothers desperate for your attention :D I have to tune in everyday for the updates. What is dance do you like the most?
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Re: 150 Steps for October '09

Postby Jane B » Wed Oct 07, 2009 2:13 pm

Hi all, Paralegalgirl, yeah you're right my approach seems kind of funny as I describe it in my post. Not that I would swear by everything a "guru" says, but my dating life has been pretty unsuccessful so I'm trying to keep an open mind to new ideas.
Unity wrote: Jane, I was reading that dating advice by that D.W and wondered who the advice was aimed at e.g. he's a man. Did he consider that if a woman went on lots of dates with different men, they might get some sort of reputation? Even if the dates were platonic it usually doesn't make a difference.
Hmmm that’s an interesting question to ponder; of course girls who sleep with a lot of men get a reputation this way, but as far as just dating lots of men, I’m not sure. Here is the thing with me though. Currently I don’t get out and meet a lot of men, and whenever I do meet someone new, I immediately start hoping he’s “the one” and put pressure on myself, so this sense of urgency is often perceived by the guy. Considering this habit of mine, I highly doubt that dating more men will cause me to let “Mr Right” pass me by. Maybe the idea is not to go out and date a different guy every night of the week, but certainly try to be open to more possibilities so I don’t make a big deal out of every encounter.
Similarly, if as a female you approached strangers in public, flirted and went on subsequent dates, that could lead to trouble in case they were violent or had something to hide.
Sure, there are weirdos everywhere. Nowadays, lots of people use the Internet to date, and that isn’t any safer, IMO, than meeting someone in a coffee shop, at a concert or at the supermarket. It’s just another public place. I do what I can to be safe anytime I meet someone (i.e. never give out my home phone, meet on neutral territory, etc.), but the reality is that if I want to date people, I need to get out and meet more people.
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40094

Postby Lynx » Wed Oct 07, 2009 10:42 pm

Hello, Jane, you have a good sense of what may work for you, so you just keep on keeping on. Mannix, if you check in, enjoy your time away ... PLG: I'm following the nuances of the dance-lesson scene. The Japanese movie Shall We Dance tried to capture some of the longing in the shadows of people going to dance studios. This week in quite intense at work but I'm making a bit of time to learn Afformations, the question variant of Affirmations. How did I get all that done? Where did this money come from to make my 'world tour'? However did I find such a great muse? Did this book somehow get written while I was sleeping? Lynx
"Vision is not enough. It must be combined with venture. It is not enough to stare up the steps; we must step up the stairs." Vaclav Havel
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Re: 150 Steps for October '09

Postby Unity » Thu Oct 08, 2009 3:10 am

Jane I'm sure that you know what you are doing, so don't mind me :D I really hope that you feel more confident about yourself and find some nice people to go out with. Lynx - I came across afformations some time back, thought they were a good way to look at life, and much easier for the subconscious to believe than affirmations. I don't know if you found it via the main site, but I signed up for the newsletter believing it to be full of information, it's not, all sales pitch, no articles.
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Re: 150 Steps for October '09

Postby paralegalgirl » Thu Oct 08, 2009 4:12 pm

Unity: You're just making me so happy.
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Re: 150 Steps for October '09

Postby sallypz » Thu Oct 08, 2009 10:42 pm

Jane B..sounds like you have your head on straight. Keep us posted about the adoption from Vietnam. I have a little girl from Russia (takes all my time & I don't date..another excuse for being scared???) and am very interested in hearing how the adoption process goes. Ahhh the Green Bay Packers...I have very happy memories of Green Bay and the Packer Hall of Fame. My late husband was a big Packer fan (a dangerous thing when you live in Chicago). He had a trip all planned to go to the Packer Hall of Fame with his brother when his brother (the jerk) backed out at the last moment my husband was terribly disappointed & thought he'd rather stay home than go alone. So I volunteered to go with him. I am so glad I went. We had a great time. He was so excited to see the Packers practice. I remember him jumping up and down, cheering, acting like a little kid. I don't know which of us had the better time. Him so thrilled to be there, or me so touched & delighted to see him acting so happy. They certainly are very tender and sweet memories. I don't remember reading any stats that Autism affects boys more than girls. From everything I've seen it seems pretty evenly distributed among the sexes. Funny you should mention communication differences between boys and girls. My older daughter is taking Child Psych this semester. I have taken Child Psych etc...in the past...we were just discussing the very subject of differences in communication styles between boys & girls (men & women) earlier today. Men and women are genetically programmed to communicate in different styles & it is not abnormal that they do so. Women are programed, by their nature, to communicate face to face, as in sitting down facing each other and having a conversation, often lengthy and intense. They generally stop all other activities and just simply talk to each other. By nature, genetically programmed to communicate in a different style, men/boys do not do that. The best way to communicate with a man/boy is by doing an activity together, side by side (not face to face), and to talk while engaged together in the activity. That, by nature, genetically determined, is the style that men/boys communicate best in. That is normal for men/boys. They are, by nature, awkward & uncomfortable communicating face to face & without being involved in another activity simultaneously. It's been a good 2 days for me. I finished updating my resume. I made myself a list of the 4 closest places in the area that offer the speciality nursing services that I've been doing for the past 16 yrs. Mapped out the route to all the addresses on Mapquest, took my 'how to get there instructions' with me and drove to each place, introduced myself, dropped off a resume & picked up a job application form 3. The fourth the job application was only available on-line. I had already filled out that job application on line. Today I filled out the other 3 applications. Tomorrow I will staple a second copy of my resume to each applications & take them back to each prospective employer. It was a big step for me. My (fragile) self confidence was really shaken up by the disaster that happened at my last job. It was so upsetting that I haven't talked with anyone from there since (except once & she called me, I didn't call her!) & I traveled 4 different units at that job, a radius of almost 100 miles, I was the area wide coordinator for patients of my particular sub-specialty (and I was the only nurse there working in my particular sub specialty--I didn't get any help with it) everyone else, around 50 employees total, all worked in a slightly different specialty. I still don't feel comfortable putting any of them down on my resume as a reference. (After I lost that job I was so upset & angry that I threw out everyone's home phone numbers---and in my 3 years there I'd been given everyone's home phone numbers) So I've used other people as references. I actually felt pretty good after driving to all 4 units, introducing myself and giving out my resume. The people that I met were extremely nice and friendly. I almost chickened out at the beginning of the trip but I forced myself to do it. It was a good confidence builder (but I did go out for a drink afterwards--only one---sangria--yum!) I also found solid prospective financial aid sources for enrolling in a Masters Degree. There were two areas I was considering for a Masters Degree. One has no financial aid available & wants you to jump through many hoops to apply & wants you to go full time to school during the day but the courses sound so interesting. The other has lots of prospective financial aid sources, so I'd end up paying little to nothing out of pocket, and even those expenses can be covered with a grant, will let you take evening & weekend courses so it fits in around a work schedule and can be completed in less time, with less hassle. (Oh, did I mention it looks like #2 also pretty much guarantees you a job afterward? and the hours of that job fit in perfectly with my daughters school schedule--all holidays off) So #2 wins out. Halloween decorating is going good too. Tanya is having fun helping me decorate the house & I think, this weekend we will go to both the local Pumpkin Fest (Sat), then go apple picking on Sun. We'll have a wonderful weekend of fun. I still have to make her costume (and mine---I'm going as "an Old Bat"--LOL!!!--I found a bat head piece, some bat like glasses, some bat jewelry & am going to write OLD BAT on a black tee shirt). Tanya is going as the cutest witch ever, and the dog, if we take her is going to be disguised as Lassie (she's a sheltie & looks exactly like a miniature version of Lassie). Happy October, Much love, don't forget to have fun this month, sallypz (MoxieMe)
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Re: 150 Steps for October '09

Postby Unity » Fri Oct 09, 2009 1:49 am

PLG - did she shave her legs? :D that was really funny.
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Re: 150 Steps for October '09

Postby paralegalgirl » Fri Oct 09, 2009 9:14 am

Got up and brushed my teeth.
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