150 Steps for November '09

Success means taking real steps in the direction of your dream. Talk about them here. You deserve to be commended, hailed, supported, admired, copied and shamelessly promoted.

Moderators: Tituba, BarbaraSher

Re: 150 Steps for November '09

Postby Unity » Thu Nov 26, 2009 4:51 am

Hi everyone, PLG - thanks for the explanation, I guess you got a lot of pleasure from giving those presents. It was also interesting to read about your teaching experience. Mannix - This time the argument wasn't with my ex however it was part of a usual pattern that I have with that person. I know the why's and wherefore's but find it very difficult to stop myself from playing out the old tapes. I find that all my arguments with people all follow certain patterns. I can reflect about them until doomsday and set up plans to act differently if the triggers start, however often if they happen at a difficult time and I'm caught unawares, then all hell breaks loose and I can't stop myself. (or I could look at it that I don't want to stop myself :roll: ) I can understand what you mean about resistance setting in after one of the triggers. I think that's the time a lot of people seek the fridge for comfort or end up spending the next few days repeating the drama to lots of people - totally ignoring everything they are supposed to be doing. Instead all the anger is still going round their heads. So what can I learn from this - not to try and control everything - this was the cause of getting so wound up that weekend and therefore losing perspective. Mannix, I think there's a story about this resistance after the events, forgive me if I've got it wrong and mixed it up with something else. A Buddhist monk carried a woman across a river (apparently it was against their philosophy to do this) and he was still talking about all his difficult feelings about it for a long while afterwards. His Teacher asked 'why are you still carrying her?'
Unity
Mega Poster
Mega Poster
 
Posts: 7816
Joined: Fri Mar 19, 2004 11:01 pm

t day

Postby Lynx » Thu Nov 26, 2009 9:55 am

Happy t-day, Quietly sitting at home during a downpour. No plans to leave at all today, no guests expected either! My partner and I often spend t-day and xmas like this, just the two of us without commitments. She came home with a bag full of food (smoked cornish hens, sausage, dried meats), I came in with two types of bread (going to different events later and this will be my offering), some left over Thai food from work. Went to my mens group last night. We got into a discussion of our feelings of Inner Friction, how it might be corrosive to our health, and what to do to ease it. One of us led us through a grounding meditation. Today: reading and piddling about. Tomorrow: maybe a dance improve class, bridge (yes, playing a lot more!) OR visits to a Tile Store to end all tile stores. Unity-I get your challenge to make a change in the moment of truth that you've meditated on and feel prepared to do. Mannix-I sometimes have a see-saw day of work—day of resistance pattern. Sometimes the "off" day is simply one for rest! Milton Erickson often suggested ways to make the doing more playful. Like when his son didn't want to cut the grass in a large field. He said something like: I know you have been practicing writing your initials? Maybe you can cut them in the grass and see how it looks? Thanks everyone for being here for one another. L
"Vision is not enough. It must be combined with venture. It is not enough to stare up the steps; we must step up the stairs." Vaclav Havel
Lynx
Mega Poster
Mega Poster
 
Posts: 1951
Joined: Wed Aug 16, 2006 11:45 am
Location: Seattle, WA

Re: 150 Steps for November '09

Postby Mannix » Thu Nov 26, 2009 4:20 pm

Hi, Unity, thanks for the story about the monk, it does resonate. I find there's a huge difference between noticing a behavior pattern and actually changing it, especially if it's a very old "tape." Don't be too hard on yourself if the pattern comes back again. Lynx, I feel better today. Maybe I was just ready to have a day off. Hope you're enjoying your quiet time with your partner, that sounds like a great way to spend the holiday. Steps for me - got up early and went to a gym class this morning. Gym was crowded at 8:30am! Got an extra workout in this afternoon when my nephew wanted someone to play football with him. Also made up a Christmas shopping list for this year. Hope everyone is having a great Turkey Day! -- Mannix
Mannix
Mega Poster
Mega Poster
 
Posts: 2524
Joined: Wed Oct 11, 2006 6:52 pm
Location: Fairfax, Virginia

Re: 150 Steps for November '09

Postby paralegalgirl » Sat Nov 28, 2009 11:11 am

Hi everyone:
Last edited by paralegalgirl on Wed Apr 13, 2011 8:10 am, edited 1 time in total.
paralegalgirl
Mega Poster
Mega Poster
 
Posts: 2523
Joined: Sat Sep 17, 2005 4:24 am

Re: 150 Steps for November '09

Postby Unity » Sat Nov 28, 2009 12:54 pm

Hi all Hope you all had a good time and enjoyed your meal. PLG -on the subject of voyeurism, have you heard of that website called 123? If someone was to put in your real name, or else your user names from any of your websites you use in the search box, then anyone with the same name apart from you would appear along with their photos. So if the person searching can guess which name is yours and click on it, they can then see your email addresses and any posts you've made anywhere online, including any photo albums, facebooks, myspace, Amazon shopping lists, videos, blogs etc. So even though you are looking up info on your instructors, be careful someone might be looking things up about you too!
Unity
Mega Poster
Mega Poster
 
Posts: 7816
Joined: Fri Mar 19, 2004 11:01 pm

Re: 150 Steps for November '09

Postby sallypz » Sun Nov 29, 2009 6:25 am

Thanksgiving was quiet---Tanya and I went to a movie then to Boston Market for dinner...I didn't cook---the older daughter, her husband and baby went to his families for Thanksgiving---they don't know she's pregnant yet, telling them is a surprise planned for Christmas......we also got our Christmas tree up...had to buy a new one..my tree didn't make it from Florida to here...found a (fake) tree on sale for about half price...7ft pre lit....when we combined my daughters ornaments and my ornaments we had enough for this size tree....years ago I had a lovely collection of ornaments I'd collected them from going to Chicago's Museum of Science and Industry's yearly Christmas tree's of the world--going every year for years and buying them a few at a time---It was something my late husband and I did together---not long after he committed suicide I threw them all out---actually I was so angry (and in so much pain) about the whole (sensless) suicide, feeling abandoned, that I threw them off a second story porch in a tearful fit of anger........foolish, perhaps, but, what he did was difficult to accept...I get reminded of it every year because his birthday is coming up.....he has missed out on a lot of great things in the past years.... Christmas shopping, too, is almost done...have to get some wrapping paper, and one or two small things...did anyone go shopping on Black Friday??? How was it??? There were people sleeping in tents in the parking lot of Best Buy to get in early..... Tanya goes back to school from Thanksgiving vacation (they had a week off) on Monday...we've been lazy this week about studying her math and reading...must get her back on track and do some stuff today, then get her supplemental home lessons organized for next week---also must get my rent check sent in & other bills paid, and organize my calendar for end of year and early next year---I have some meetings/classes to go to & want to check the dates...reminds me---it's time to buy a calendar for next year...at the end of each year I do a "Year End Review"----just a look back at the past year (in writing)---and a written (life)plan for the next year that includes goals, ideas and a direction for the year----it's time to start thinking about that too... PLG--FADS is beginning to sound like something of an obsession...sorry you feel you need to run away from your family sallypz (MoxieMe)
sallypz
Veteran Poster
Veteran Poster
 
Posts: 523
Joined: Tue Jun 02, 2009 8:46 pm
Location: northwest of Chicago

Re: 150 Steps for November '09

Postby paralegalgirl » Mon Nov 30, 2009 1:10 pm

Hi everyone:
Last edited by paralegalgirl on Wed Apr 13, 2011 8:12 am, edited 1 time in total.
paralegalgirl
Mega Poster
Mega Poster
 
Posts: 2523
Joined: Sat Sep 17, 2005 4:24 am

Re: 150 Steps for November '09

Postby Mannix » Mon Nov 30, 2009 5:50 pm

Hi, everybody, Today started out a little rough but seems to have smoothed out here in the evening. I went to bed and woke up with a stomach ache, back ache and headache. Back and head got better, but stomach is still acting up a little. I either ate something bad for dinner, or I'm having physical symptoms of stress - or both. Stress would make sense - prepping for hardwood floor installation in our house, which is going to take all week; getting ready for some Christmas gigs (just found out they want me to play a completely different part!); and realizing some of the difficulties I have with my husband might be partly my own doing. But I don't know how to fix them yet. I finally got back to the blog on my grandfather tonight and wrote a second entry. It made me feel better to work on it. I enjoy the research, at least the little I've done so far, and it looks like there's plenty to follow up on and write about. It looks like December will be a busy month for me, as will the spring. Sally, I didn't go shopping on Black Friday. I did just the opposite - slept until almost 11am! I'm so sorry about your husband and can understand your anger. I hope you've been able to recover as much as possible. It sounds like you are successfully moving on with your life despite that pain. And maybe it was good for Tanya to have some time off. Maybe she will focus better after the holiday break! Hope everyone has a great evening. Gotta go - it's time for Monday Night Football! :D -- Mannix
Mannix
Mega Poster
Mega Poster
 
Posts: 2524
Joined: Wed Oct 11, 2006 6:52 pm
Location: Fairfax, Virginia

Re: 150 Steps for November '09

Postby sallypz » Mon Nov 30, 2009 9:46 pm

Yes, I am moving on after his death...but it took a long time..it's been 10 years. When he died I had no idea how to make a life for myself without him, it's been a big learning curve & I make plenty of mistakes, however, I try to learn from my mistakes and keep moving forward. It's why I started reading books like Wishcraft...I have my copy sitting in front of me now...it says "How to get what you Really Want" on the cover...that part makes me chuckle because I remember the first time I saw that on the cover & thinking 'I have NO IDEA what I really want' ...but I read the book anyway...and a plethora of other books on self esteem, self confidence, self discovery, happiness, choice theory, etc... because I had no idea who I was (as a separate entity) when my husband died, nor what my own individual goals/life/interests were..... I've come a long way since then (have a lot left to learn too). Funny, sometimes , despite the difficulties I've encountered & the economy, at times I get an , almost serene, feeling of purpose & knowing that things will be OK, that I'm on the right track and that if my current goals don't quite manifest like I'd like them to that I can adjust the goals and be OK anyway. So that's my spiritual side coming out... Steps, I've made a list of the next steps to take in accomplishing my employment goals and application to school goals to work on this week (maybe that should be in the Dec thread???). sallypz (MoxieMe)
sallypz
Veteran Poster
Veteran Poster
 
Posts: 523
Joined: Tue Jun 02, 2009 8:46 pm
Location: northwest of Chicago

Previous

Return to Success Stories

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest