150 Steps for December '09

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Re: 150 Steps for December '09

Postby Unity » Sat Dec 26, 2009 3:13 am

Mannix, sympathies going out to you. Because you are so used to it being just you and your husband, and getting all these people suddenly 'in your space' I can well imagine how you are feeling. I feel like that since I spend a lot of time alone in the house and have my own routines and feel in control of what is happening. But whenever I have one of my children home in particular I always get stressed as I don't know if I'm coming or going :D I was looking forward to Sunday evening as then I thought all the Christmas activity would be over and only one home for about another week, then I get told of an unexpected overnight visitor (a stranger) next week overnight! Trying not to get stressed LOL I was laughing aloud about the ticket buying commentary. I had some 'eye opening' conversations last night with relatives of ex's left me quite uncomfortable as they were talking about their view on ex's family which was awful to listen. I wish people would keep that private to themselves as it's put me in a difficult situation. I hope you can recuperate from the constant chatter when you visit your grandmother.
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Re: 150 Steps for December '09

Postby sallypz » Sun Dec 27, 2009 8:19 am

I thought the snow yesterday would never end. It snowed all day. I went out to shovel the drive and walk twice, but it looks like it needs it again. I think next year I'm asking Santa for a snowblower.....they are so expensive...I dislike yard equipment that uses gas to start...but I guess I will have to bite the bullett with a snowblower...maybe if I start saving now..then by next year I'll have a fund saved. Luckily the snow wasn't heavy. How is everyone else in the Midwest doing with the snowy conditions?? PLG--is Wisconsin under snow too?? We're suppose to drive into the city for a late Christmas with my daughter's in-laws. A long drive in the snow. Things should be pretty well plowed...except for the in-city side street parking, I don't think the city plows there. I'm hoping the visit will be pleasant. My daughter and one of her sister-in-laws friends have had some hard words lately...and I think the friend will be there. I hope they behave. Today they will tell his parents that my daughter is pregnant again...due in summer...the first baby will be 18 months old when the 2nd one is born. Fun(?)...two in diapers! Oh, poop! (Am I allowed to use that expression on this forum?)...and lots of it! I got them a double stroller for Christmas. But they'll need another crib and somewhere for the baby to sleep...we don't have enough room in this house...she's taking college classes this spring and thinking of taking one class in summer too....it will keep her very busy. Looks like 2010 will be busy and eventful for all of us. sallypz(MoxieMe)
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post boxing day

Postby Lynx » Sun Dec 27, 2009 11:03 am

The first time I heard the term (see subject) as a child I thought, No! Are they so upset with each other they set aside a day for Boxing? Unity and Mannix: Unity, I think you're right about routines and disruption. I'm making plans to visit my family for another holiday (MLK day) in Atlanta. And my mom's sofa-bed is just not right. Plus we'd be in her space all the time. It's a small condo, so it would get really cramped. So this year, as I'm earning some money, I decided we would stay in a hotel or b&b. Got our plane tix yesterday (about $250 more than we wanted to pay) and then started looking for where to stay. Found a newly built Comfort Suites not far from where she lives. Then remembered our success with vacation rentals by owners in Hawaii. Now tracking down a condo right downtown for about $25 less per night than the CS. That would be great, as we would then be in the mix of things on our off times and have access to lots of bus and transit options (and avoid a car rental thereby). I'm focused on getting several small mattered tidied up today in anticipation of tomorrow being as 'listless' as I can make it. Lynx
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Re: 150 Steps for December '09

Postby Unity » Sun Dec 27, 2009 1:07 pm

Hi all Lynx, hope you get the rental condo and have some space for yourselves during your trip. I used to be the sort of person that was always travelling, sleeping on floors, lots of people around me all the time. But since I've had such a quiet life for a long time now, this Christmas has worn me out as in a couple of days I've had 3 visits to relatives and one houseful for dinner at my house. But the part I found the hardest was one person I saw on two of the occasions who doesn't stop talking, not only about themselves, but constantly asking questions. You have to be very alert to take it all in. I felt exhausted when I left them and could go to sleep now LOL Sally hope the road are ok for your travel and that your daughter will be ok with that friend. Mannix - how's it going with the Christmas fun? (hell :D ) PLG - I'm guessing you can't access the library computer at the moment?
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Re: 150 Steps for December '09

Postby Mannix » Sun Dec 27, 2009 7:10 pm

Hi, everyone, Finishing family trip to Ohio. It, too has been stressful. I'd write about details, but many are almost unbelievable. Tomorrow it's back home for another week with brother-in-law, then a further week with parents-in-law moving in. I'm in a total stupor.
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Re: 150 Steps for December '09

Postby sallypz » Sun Dec 27, 2009 9:02 pm

My goodness Mannix--and all who have visitors for the Holidays--you have my total sympathy--spent 1/2 day with daughters in-laws and their familiy(s)--everyone gets along---but how exhausting--just the stress of being around so many people---and this was only for 1/2 a day---I'm wiped out--I can't imagine having so many people staying over for that extended period of time---I think I'd about tear my hair out...if it were me going to visit I think I'd prefer going to a hotel then stopping by at relatives for a few hours...I know that's a more expensive way to go, but it offers both sides more freedom & privacy....I like the staying at a rental condo idea too...sounds very comfortable. I guess since my own immediate family has died off I've learned to like my alone time, my down time and my privacy.....maybe I'm just not that much of a 'people person'...I never thought of myself that way before...but maybe it's true. Except for my birthday on Tuesday...holiday celebrating is pretty much over...I usually celebrate New Years with my traditional sleep all through the night-type 'celebration'... Hope everyone is doi8ng well. sallypz(MoxieMe)
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Re: 150 Steps for December '09

Postby Unity » Mon Dec 28, 2009 5:14 am

Hi all Sally, I think we've all got that exhaustion from too much talking around us syndrome :D I've mentioned here before about the people that really drain me when I'm in the coffee shops. My special needs son isn't diplomatic, he puts his hands over his ears with one particular person. :D Last time we met them, son and I were having cake and coffee and they came over and started talking about swine flu and their bowel problems!! :x With the right sort of person, I could talk all day and enjoy it. Sally - hope you have a wonderful birthday tomorrow xxx
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Re: 150 Steps for December '09

Postby paralegalgirl » Mon Dec 28, 2009 12:42 pm

Happy Holidays Scenario. You can update us anytime.
Last edited by paralegalgirl on Sat Apr 16, 2011 9:15 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: 150 Steps for December '09

Postby Unity » Tue Dec 29, 2009 9:05 am

Hi all Well to save myself from going mad I'm going to have a quick rant on here. PLG, I've got my own Octodad and I wonder which one of the is the worst? From the time I got married, he went a bit strange because he retired and had always been the centre of attention everywhere - very outgoing. He'd also been in the military and was obsessed about timekeeping and making arrangements. So you couldn't say 'I might do that' and change your mind as he would expect it as read. This is most of the problems I have with him now, because one of the children agree to things with him (usually not even listening to what it is) then change their minds. Dad accuses me of keeping them away from him on purpose - even though he sees them all the time :roll: He wants everything his way or else he goes berserk. I just put he phone down on him shouting at me because as my son was out today when Dad rang and wanted to speak to him, Dad accuses me of lying about it. Even Dad's doctor has rang me up in the past and asked how she should deal with him, as she can't manage him. So you can imagine what it's like. I stand up to him hence we are always falling out. However, I know where a lot of this unreasonable behaviour comes from and it is a very tragic story. So I can never be too annoyed with him. Although at the time it blows up, it can be very difficult as no matter how diplomatic you are, it can still turn nasty as he will keep goading you by the paranoia. Hope you all have a better day.
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Re: 150 Steps for December '09

Postby paralegalgirl » Tue Dec 29, 2009 12:29 pm

Hi Unity: That's okay to rant. That's what we're here for. You know how I can rant and rant.
Last edited by paralegalgirl on Sat Apr 16, 2011 9:15 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: 150 Steps for December '09

Postby Unity » Tue Dec 29, 2009 3:09 pm

Hi PLG, thanks very much for your reply but I have given you the wrong impression (probably because I mentioned marriage), it wasn't about my husband, but literally my Octo-Dad.
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InLaws Day 7: Day 7??

Postby Mannix » Tue Dec 29, 2009 3:37 pm

Hi, everyone, I'm enjoying some wonderful quiet time as the clan has gone into Washington to see a museum. Got back from Cleveland last night. There was some talk about staying on until Tuesday, but I think my aunt and uncle were ready for us to leave, even though they didn't say that. They both had to go back to work, anyway. Also, Cleveland was having a considerable snow storm and we wanted to get out of town before we could get snowed in. Arrived home to the joy of no one there but husband. Well, that lasted 45 minutes and the clan returned. Sister-in-law never inquired about my trip but immediately began explaining that her cousin, his wife and their two young children couldn't come to visit in our house for the day (!!!) because they forgot her husband was allergic to cats. So they had to go somewhere else. Then I got to look at pictures of these "adorable" children whom I'm never going to meet. Yippee. Did I mention I'm ready for these people to go home? Even more irritating was my sister-in-law mentioned that the last time they were in Tennessee, where my parents-in-law live, they had rented a place to stay. :bash: :bash: But yet they're here mooching off us. Well, I can't talk to my husband about it because he gets angry with me. Father-in-law is still not feeling well. In addition to back pain, he is now having trouble seeing. So he didn't leave the house again today. I don't know how they are ever going to get back home. Mother-in-law is going to have to do all the driving and it's a 10-hour drive from here. As for me, I felt like I was coming down with a cold this morning so I slept until after noon. But I feel better now. Frankly, I'm surprised I haven't gotten really sick. Anyway, thanks to everyone who's listened and commented on my ongoing rants here. Will respond to others in a fresh post... -- Mannix
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Re: 150 Steps for December '09

Postby Mannix » Tue Dec 29, 2009 4:02 pm

Unity, wow, sorry to hear about the difficulties with your dad. But great job in standing up to him! :) I don't think you said how old your dad was, but I'm guessing he's probably not going to change. Are your children aware of this? Of course, none of you should have to change your lives to accommodate your dad's brash behavior, but would it help take some of the heat off you if they knew that's how he reacted? Is there a mental-health specialist you could talk to on the best way to handle your dad? Anyway, it sounds like you're doing the best you can. Oh, by the way, I laughed out loud at those people in the coffee shop wanting to discuss their bowel problems with you! PLG, thanks again for the sympathy for my situation. Sounds like you may be having the most peaceful holiday of all of us, with the exception of the FADS encounter at the mall? Hopefully, that's something you can brush off and move on from. I hope you have fun the rest of this holiday week and for the New Year! :D Lynx, o learned one, if my holiday suffering can lead one person to get a hotel room instead of shacking up with the family, I shall not have lived in vain. Sally, how did the rest of the family take the news of your daughter's pregnancy? She's going to be exhausted with two babies and taking classes. Did you have a good birthday? Hope everyone else is doing well, -- Mannix
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Re: 150 Steps for December '09

Postby sallypz » Tue Dec 29, 2009 7:54 pm

Birthday went nice. Went to my favorite pizza place for dinner...ate pizza. got sang to, had some greast ice creem (with a candle on top) for dessert. A nice day. Come to think of it this is a significant birthday for me...one I've been waiting for for a long time....when my husband died ---about 10 years ago---I got a (very) small pension and health insurance from his work---if I was to marry before I became 56 I would lose those 'benefits'---however, once I became 56 (and remained unmarried until then)--I would get to keep those benefits for the rest of my life--and I would be 'free' to remarry if I wished (and still be able to keep the benefits)---so I decided to wait until age 56 to even think about remarriage---that's this year---I now get to keep my meager benefits for life (I'm going to surprise them, I plan to live to be about 120--just out of spite and to get those benefits--long story there)---so maybe I can take up dating in my 'old age' as a hobby...I just saw the movie 'It's Complicated' with Meryl Streep & Alec Baldwin---she didn't want him in the end..does that mean he's free(??)..he looked pretty good to me!! I'll volunteer to take him (LOL)..maybe I should join match.com or eharmony...might be fun sallypz(MoxieMe)
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Continue this thread into the new decade?

Postby Mannix » Wed Dec 30, 2009 9:51 am

Sally, glad you had fun on your birthday and it had some great added benefits, too. I wouldn't get too interested in Alec Baldwin - I think he has a big temper. :wink: I remember a few years ago there was a recording going around of him screaming at his daughter. But he is pretty funny on TV; haven't seen the movie yet. I'll spare you all an in-law rant today. Everyone who posts has generously offered their sympathies and thank you again. I did want to ask if everyone would like to continue "150 Steps" into the new year. With all the challenges threads, I wonder if this one has become redundant. Or are there any changes anyone would like to make to complement the challenges threads? Or shall we just stay the same? My steps for the remainder of this year are to try and get some tasks done while the family visit is still going on. I'm talking get any remaining '09 charitable contributions submitted, pay bills due at the end of the month, get some late holiday gifts for people I'm going to see next week. It will probably help my sanity to do a little work. I also want to sit down and think about specific things I'd like to achieve as the new year starts. Hope everyone is having a good day, -- Mannix
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