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InLaws Day 11

Posted: Sat Jan 02, 2010 9:10 pm
by Mannix
Hi, everybody, Brother-in-law and family go home tomorrow! :D Funny thing is, I think my husband is ready for them to go home. He's started to find excuses to spend more time in our bedroom, which has been our sanctuary. And whenever there's a chance to go back to the house while they're out, he wants to go back. We all went to breakfast on New Year's Day and it was a total fiasco - brother-in-law called the restaurant and said there was no wait, and when we got there there was a 25 minute wait and huge crowds of people. :evil: Sister-in-law kept hovering over her children to make sure they were making healthy food choices (at Bob Evans??) and she got into a big fight with my father-in-law in the restaurant. Bratty niece got in trouble for playing games on her I-Touch when she was supposed to be talking with her grandparents. Then she left it at the table and by the time she remembered it was gone. We assume someone stole it. :roll: Mother and father-in-law have not said whether they're going to stay on. They're coming over in the morning to see brother-in-law off, but haven't said anything about their plans. Unity, re cooking arrangements, I'm not sure what those will be if they stay. We have been eating out a lot or bringing food in from restaurants. So you can imagine how badly I need to be on that Health and Fitness Challenge! :) This evening, I've been trying to work on my blog and getting discouraged. I can't find my post on Ancestry.com concerning cemetery and military enlistment records. My cousin sent me a big file of family information and a program I needed to download to view it. Downloaded the program but it won't open the file. So my immediate challenge will be to keep working at this project. My habit is to abandon stuff when the easy-to-follow path disappears. Today, we also went to visit some friends who usually invite us to their holiday open house and didn't this year. I thought maybe they'd been out of town, or were just irritated with us because we never seem to find time to get together. But then during the visit they kept saying they were sorry we couldn't make it to the open house. So now I'm afraid they did invite us and the invitation got lost in a pile of Christmas cards. :oops: Which means I'm still not going through mail and important papers in a timely manner. Sigh .. how little progress I've made. Maybe things will get more in focus when all this visiting is finally over. -- Mannix

Re: 150 Steps for January '10

Posted: Sat Jan 02, 2010 9:20 pm
by sallypz
tapit123--that sounds like an exciting array of things you're doing. The things you're doing sound like wonderful creative fun. What are those plays about? How can a play be done in 10 minutes? I've never heard of that. I love going to the theater when I can afford it (not very often at all lately). I had the opportunity to go see a Broadway play a few years ago..Brooklyn..it was fabulous...I've seen some pretty good theater in Chicago...however, there is nothing on earth that compares to a play on Broadway..the quality on Broadway is far superior. And the costuming was spectacular...at one point the lead female character had on a lovely white puffy dress...beautifully designes...and when I looked closer at it the entire dress was made out of plastic grocery-style bags...how wonderfully creative. A documentary on elephants! I love elephants...at mylast apartment/condo..my guest/childrens bath was done in an elephants motife...elephants on the walls and the towels and the rug. Went to see Ringling Bros circus recently...most specifically to see the elephants...(they seem to treat them very kindly?? The last time I saw an elephant at a zoo it was showing some visible signs of captivity stress/anxiety & it bothered me)...of course, bought an (another) elephant toy while at the circus....have been to the circus museum in Baraboo Wisc..visited the elephant barn...amazingly even though the elephants have not resided in that barn for over 50 years you can still smell them (and strongly)....I heard one odd fact about elephants....that when in heat the male elephant lets out a sound that is so low pitched as to be inaudible to human ears, yet female elephants can hear it over a mile away....is this true? Where did you shoot your elephant footage?? Dis you get to see them in their natural environment ...or was your filming done on elephants in captivity?? You've spiked my curiosity...is your documentary for TV and when will it be shown? I'd like to watch it.....You must finish it...I'm sure I'm not the only elephant fan in the world...lots of people would like to see your work... Ahhh, yes, shoveling....me too...in fact I need to do some again...the front stairs are a little icy...and need to put out some salt. The film class sounds like fun too. PLG---you've done so well with quitting smoking so far....don't start up again....maybe some kind of volunteer work would keep you occupied...at the library or somewhere...is there a community center where you could teach knitting?? I had to laugh at the winter coat comment....I haven't bought a winter coat since about 1999 either...I have two that I bought then....but they're just like new.....they've been in storage since 2000 when I moved to Florida until this winter back up north....so every time I wear either of them I feel like I'm wearing a new coat. The house near the woods was kinda for from everyone's work...but I can't believe that much house for that little price...we will keep an eye on it....and am looking at other places too.... probably need to decide by March/April to move in around June... I qualify for a VA loan that I've never used...does anyone know anything about how to go about getting that?? I'll have to look it up on line..... Another productive day....my students will get to spend one day following around a respiratory therapist...and one day following a wound care specialist...so I was designing a special research assignment for them to do related to most common diseases & meds used for them that resp. therapists and wound care specialists treat in the elderly population. They will also be learning about 'Therapeutic Communication' ..when I read the chapters in the book there's a couple things specific to the elderly that I noticed missing....actually I got this idea from posts on this website--so I designed a special focus, communication with the elderly packet for them on reminiscence therapy/life review therapy, appropriate, since this semester is on gerentology/long term care.... Unity---you too are spiking my curiosity.....what on earth could your relative have done that would be such a huge secret??.....strange reaction form your cousin who asked to know all the stuff..... Tonite to dream about tomorrows productive activities... hope to keep this momentum going too... It's great...just don't want to get too stressed out about things...keep it light & fun.... sallypz(MoxieMe)

Commentary

Posted: Sat Jan 02, 2010 9:38 pm
by Mannix
Tapit, sorry I overlooked your story about New Year's Eve. That sounds like a great way to welcome in the new year! Undoubtedly, a good omen for your creative juices in 2010. At one time, you were doing a blog about the elephant documentary. Are you still doing the blog? PLG, great job recognizing you're at a tough point in your cycle. It will be a major achievement if you break through the circle by not going back to smoking while dealing with these big questions. In the meantime, are there volunteer opportunities you could do that could give some structure to your day? Maybe you could give beginning dancing lessons at youth clubs, for example? I think it's a huge deal that you see this cycle. I was in one for a long time before I was able to see what it was. Unity, sorry that thing with your cousin turned out so strangely. It's easy to fall into the trap of offering help because someone drops a hint. I do that, too. That's how I ended up driving people to Stamford, Connecticut for a gig a few years ago! I guess we have to watch for that with family members, too. Oh, as for looking after in-laws, since my husband is going back to work .... I guess I will get to do that. Hooray. :? Lynx, here's to shouting 'NO' from the rooftops! I'll bet if felt good to choose what was important to you. Sally, if you write some articles for publication, perhaps you could get into Barbara's Write-Speak program and start a career as a speaker in your field? Good luck with all your plans. Seems like this might be a good time to buy a house. And you wouldn't have to worry about a landlord selling your home out from under you. Have a good evening, all, -- Mannix

Re: 150 Steps for January '10

Posted: Sun Jan 03, 2010 6:03 am
by sallypz
Mannix---here's something I might be able to help you with---for copies of military records try this site: http://www.archives.gov/veterans/evetrecs/index.html since you are not the next of kin there may be a form you have to fill out to get access to the records. I think there's a download for the form on the site. You might even be able to efile it?? Explore the site and see. As for cemetary records...don't know... if you find something let me know...I was looking for the precise names and dates on my grandmothers grave..I know which cemetary...went to their web site but it was a poor site...it did not give public acccess to the names of people buried in the cemetary. Too far to drive to go look, too. Glad your housefull of visitors is thinning out. I'm not surprised the kid's electronic game device was missing when you checked the restraunt...someone probably loved 'finding' it. Is it bad to lie to a small child?? Part of my plan for the new year involves telling a lie to my little girl. She sees that she is behind the other kids in her grade at school, her progress has been very slow, but it is progress...but she's getting discouraged..she was crying when doing some 'over-the-holiday' homework...so I'm going to lie to her...tell her that her progress has been huge and that she's doing soooo much better than she was....and, despite the fact that this is an outright lie as she seems more forgetful---tell her that her memory is getting so much better than it was....give her tons of positive strokes and encouragement..just to help her keep going and trying at school...I'm worried about her, she seems at the point where, out of discouragement and frustration, she's about to give up and she's developed the beginnings of some resulting behavior problems which I want to help her get away from..and telling her 'no don't do that' just isn't helping...she immediately does the thing I tell her not to do. I can't think of any other way to try to help her. So I'm going to 'lie' to her make her small progress look a whole lot bigger than it really is. It is hard to be a parent to a child with developmental problems. They just don't react like 'normal' children. She reacts more like someone who'se had a stroke or like someone with Alzheimers disease than a 'normal' child. It takes lots of stretching my brain and creative thinking in dealing with her problems. (My son-in-law and older daughter are not so patient at times.Instead of trying to help her out the can get frustrated with her....telling her 'you should know this already' etc... when she fails to remember things) I hope my stretching the truth helps her!! (tapit was speaking of elephants----the story of Dumbo is a good analogy for my situation with her--I'm trying to find a 'feather' for her to hold on to so she can learn to fly) More organizing today...I need to rearrange part of a bookshelf today to find space for my school/job related things..and finish off paying some bills.....PLG--having a dad that sends you money all the time sounds great right at this moment--- Yhank you Mannix (and all) for the words of encouragement. I have, in the past thought more than once of a career as a speaker in my field...partially that's what an Educator/teacher is...I wanted to do that in Florida...but Continuing Education programs are regulated by state rules--in Florida the state regs made it almost impossible for an individual to do that ...you had to be a corporation or big company to get state approval--it cost thousands of dollars to the state just to get started---here in Illinois the regs are different---more in favor of individuals designing programs for presentation--so it is very possible to become a speaker in my field (eventually) presenting my own programs--like renting out a conference room somewhere sending out registration flyers doing my own seminars....I will keep that in mind--need a little bit more credentialing, education and practice to head in that direction..but I'm already thinking about it. Yes, it would be a good time to buy a house....problem is no down payment,,or very little...and not-so-good credit right at the moment...I think since the possible move date is June 1...we have to have our decisions pretty much finalized by mid to end March....so it is a good idea to start looking and planning now. Don't want to be caught in a last minute panic.. sallypz (MoxieMe)

InLaws Day 12: ARRGH!

Posted: Sun Jan 03, 2010 10:10 am
by Mannix
Four hours until brother-in-law's flight. But they're still hanging around cooking and talking on the telephone and switching off the show I was watching to watch their program. For the love of humanity, why don't they leave already??? :shock: Parents-in-law are here and planning to spend the entire day. I am really tapped out of visiting energies and starting to get grumpy. I just want to watch today's NFL games and go to the gym. I am so behind on things I wanted to accomplish this weekend. Just a brief rant to let off steam. Thanks for listening.

Re: 150 Steps for January '10

Posted: Sun Jan 03, 2010 10:36 am
by Unity
Mannix, I hope the flight doesn't get cancelled :lol:

Re: 150 Steps for January '10

Posted: Sun Jan 03, 2010 2:39 pm
by Mannix
Unity wrote:Mannix, I hope the flight doesn't get cancelled :lol:
Oh, boy, that would not be a laughing matter because I am really done. (I did see on the TV that there were 1 hour 25 minute delays at the airport.) Parents-in-law are going home tomorrow but they are spending the entire day here. Husband has retreated to our room, leaving me to do the visiting. :evil: OK, promise I'll stop ranting now. -- Mannix

Re: 150 Steps for January '10

Posted: Sun Jan 03, 2010 4:19 pm
by Unity
Poor Mannix. I know it can be difficult to keep up the conversation after such a long time - let alone all the looking after too. Perhaps in future your husband will think a shorter visit from everyone will be better.

Re: 150 Steps for January '10

Posted: Sun Jan 03, 2010 7:40 pm
by Mannix
Hey, Sally, Thanks for the genealogical link! I was just looking around, and it turns out there's an introductory seminar at the National Archives this Wednesday! :) I think I'll attend. Concerning your daughter, boy, that's tough because of her young age. Really, a lot of the progress she makes IS big progress for someone with her challenges. Unfortunately, the same achievements might be very small for a child without the FAS burden. I don't know if it would make her feel any better to know that her personal benchmarks might have to start a little lower than some others. Can you tell her she will get there, too, it will just take longer? (I'm afraid I don't know a whole lot about FAS.) Also, would it help to tell her her slowness is not because she's stupid but something that's not her fault? Not sure this will help much but good luck. I really don't know what I'd do in your situation; you're very strong to take this young lady into your heart. As for your older daughter, can you limit the time she spends with your younger daughter? Again, hope this helps a little. Well, believe it or not, all in-laws have left the building. All that's left is to go over and say good-bye to parents in the morning and they're on their way home. Brother-in-law and family are probably back in California by now. I don't know what to do tomorrow. I feel like I should have 2 weeks off to compensate for the past 2 weeks. But I'm behind on a lot of things, students are coming back on Tuesday, and I just found out one of our cars may be having engine trouble. (Grrrr!!!!) Maybe I'll just run away. Have a good evening, all, --- Mannix

is it the new year ?

Posted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 12:02 am
by Lynx
Wow, lots of traffic here. That's great. Did I lie to get out of going to the party? No. Told the truth (too many request, too little time to attend to everything I want to get to). Thanks for the support on saying NO! Mannix: breathe. Get a massage? Tapit: I remember you were going after that elephant documentary. Also, you said you had discovered some questions that cut to the heart of your writing. That's priceless, write them down and hide them. PLG: Hang tough. One moment at a time. Sometimes when I get cabin fever I go out and pick up trash in a nearby park, or roll shopping carts to someplace where they can be seen when I call the grocery stores to come pick them up. Sally: With FAS you can get behavior and frustrations that are all over the place. She's up against what part of her can see is behind her less FAS peers, and it's an internal thing. A support group of parents (in person or online) could offer great support and suggestions. Unity: Good thing you sent your message, and also a good thing to learn to stay free of entanglements. Lynx

Re: 150 Steps for January '10

Posted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 5:32 am
by Unity
Hi all Sally I was thinking about your home situation and did wonder why your older daughter doesn't appreciate her sister's early circumstances, let alone the language difficulty and any medical/special needs. Perhaps she's embarassed by it. Or could she have been jealous when you made the decision to adopt? It could also be because you are all in the house together, if you had lived apart things might be different. Another thing, I know that sometimes people get paranoid that illness can be passed on e.g. my special needs son also has a very rare skin condition that's genetic. When a neighbour of mine (also with a baby the same age) saw his skin, she never visited with us again as she was certain it was contagious no matter how many time I told her it was genetic. I've also heard of a teenage boy that was really horrid to his Downs syndrome brother and this was because he was convinced that he would catch it. Mannix, I think I'm getting confused (makes a change :D ) so where exactly did your parents IL stay as you said 'go over and say goodbye in the morning'? I thought everyone (including the BILs) were all staying in your house.

Re: 150 Steps for January '10

Posted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 7:20 am
by Mannix
Good morning, everybody, Unity, sorry about the confusion. Parents-in-law were staying at a friend's house. They came over during the day when father-in-law's health permitted. Brother-in-law and family stayed here. So we had 4 "permanent" houseguests. Brother-in-law's family left yesterday and parents-in-law are leaving this morning. My mother-in-law was talking about coming to stay in our house for an additional week, but they've apparently decided against that. (Whew!) Lynx, thanks for the relaxation tips. I was thinking about taking a long daytime roadtrip, but now the car is acting up so I'm not sure it's going to happen. I'm feeling so behind on everything. OK, time to warm up the car and make an appointment with the dealer. Yuck. That was not in my post-holiday master plan. -- Mannix

Re: 150 Steps for January '10

Posted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 1:51 pm
by Unity
Thanks Mannix, I was going to add yet another question - who's friends - yours or the Parent's :D Sally re the question about the relative mystery - I've no idea what happened to him because what she found out and what I knew about him were completely different things as in died in a different country and year. So it's made me wonder if she told me the truth about finding the death certificate. Or has everyone else been pretending. The distressing situation I mentioned was about something else entirely which I thought connected to the reason her mother never wanted to talk about anything. But wasn't really what she was asking about. Yes, I know I'm still being mysterious. Reason is that the subject matter is one of those that gives me nightmares so can't talk about. I also managed to get myself into another complication today. I really must think before I say anything.Using tv crime terms, this was a similar M.O. :D Someone tells me something and I decide to be helpful, to save them getting hurt. I never learn!

Re: 150 Steps for January '10

Posted: Tue Jan 05, 2010 7:05 am
by Mannix
Hi, everyone, Well, after a visit to the car dealer, I am now $600 poorer. :evil: And when I got home, I discovered the wind had blown a shutter down off one of our outside windows. :evil: My tolerance for people is very, very low right now. My challenge today is to be pleasant to the music students who are all coming back for lessons today. Oh, and not to bite my Alexander Teacher. :wink: I also wanted to ask everyone a question: I have so many things I want to do but I'm having difficulty prioritizing and working through them. So I get frustrated and don't do anything. How do you guys handle simultaneous, multiple projects? I'm thinking of setting up some Blockbuster Days for myself, and then setting regular "working" hours for the week. Any other ideas? Thanks. Have a good day, everyone! P.S. Unity, the friends I mentioned are both friends of ours and friends/former neighbors of my inlaws. -- Mannix

Re: 150 Steps for January '10

Posted: Tue Jan 05, 2010 8:56 am
by Unity
Hi Mannix, Thanks for the friends reply. I trust you haven't attacked anyone :D you seem to be having a time of it lately, and now the wind is also causing you grief! Too many goals and priorities question. I read an article yesterday which made me think. If you were to be really impressed with yourself, what would you be doing in each area of life, each project? That question has spurred me into all sorts of activities lately that I didn't imagine myself doing so enthusiastically before e.g. I've gone fitness mad this week because it would greatly impress me if I succeeded (once and for all). Use that 'impress yourself' question in all that you do.