150 Steps for January '10

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Re: 150 Steps for January '10

Postby Unity » Tue Jan 19, 2010 11:55 am

Hi all I don't know how she's got the nerve to keep asking you if she never reciprocates in any way. Hope you enjoy your trip out and your shopping. Talking about libraries, I had a make a quick exit from mine due to a little kid running around and shouting at the top of her voice, I wouldn't normally mind, but she did have a very strange tone to her voice and it felt like a spike in my skull and now I've got a headache. :x I'm often stunned by parents let their little children (I'm talking under the age of 5) dash off on their own everywhere as they do where I live because one of these days a nasty stranger might be around. There was a woman I knew with a mental problem and she used to go into the children's part of the library and sit reading adult sex books with the cover facing anyone walking in. I came across her there once and because I knew her, went over and managed to get her out without anyone seeing as I felt a bit sorry for her and didn't think her getting publicly arrested was going to help her situation.
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Re: 150 Steps for January '10

Postby Mannix » Wed Jan 20, 2010 8:31 am

Hi, everyone! I am home from the beach. As predicted, I balked about going because I would miss my husband, cats, etc. Then I go down there, where the weather was like Florida! The time passed super-quickly, and when it was time to go home, I didn't want to leave. But it was quite a surprise to have such nice weather since this time of year it can be cold and blustery. On the way home, the "check engine" light came on in my car. Again. I had just taken it in for repairs, including addressing the "check engine" light. Now it's in the shop for the day again and I don't have a car today. I am really irritated with that car. It's only 5 years old! :evil: I am going back and forth between abject fear and happily addressing the challenges for this spring. My friend who sends me gigs is going on a cruise-ship job and she wants me to run her business while she's gone. She's already got me to play a weekend gig in May with her Celtic fiddle band. Now she wants to put me on her business bank account. This all seems so serious! Today, I need to talk with my accountant about any tax implications to signing on to the account. I also need to meet with my friend and make sure we're both clear on what I'm actually going to do with this business and her bands. My parents are going back to Ohio next week to visit my grandmother again. They wanted to know if I want to go with them. My plan is to visit with her as much as possible while I'm not working much. But suddenly I'm travelling on a regular basis - Cleveland, the beach, back to Cleveland? It feels different after being home for months at a time. Catching up on everyone else in the next post. Hope everyone's doing well, -- Mannix
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Re: 150 Steps for January '10

Postby Mannix » Wed Jan 20, 2010 8:45 am

Mango, where on the Outer Banks did you live? Our house is in Corolla, just off the Currituck Sound. With the pier behind your house, sounds like maybe it was off the Sound as well? PLG, hope you are extricating yourself from that "friend" who wants rides from you. She sounds like someone who doesn't get that you are not obligated to do this, and probably does the same sorts of things to other people. I would just stop taking her phone calls, maybe see if you can get them blocked. I wouldn't hold out hope that she'll change. By the way, do you ever think about moving to Madison? I was there once a long time ago. It is a pretty town. Unity, that was nice of you to help the mentally ill woman in the library. I went into a fast-food restaurant one time and encountered a child who was screeching a lot like the one you saw. My husband thought he was very amusing but I instantly got a headache. I couldn't wait to get out of there. Tapit, wow, you're getting tons done! You're inspiring me to get back to the gym, too. Were you able to find more funding sources for the elephants project? Maybe posting on Twitter would help. Sally, it's great that things are really going your way. Glad you are busy but hopefully not TOO busy! :) Re those late job offers, it's probably for the best to let them go because they would probably be inflexible as employers as well. Hope you enjoyed the move with your daughter. One more makeup comment - I put some makeup on yesterday morning, went to Alexander lesson and some errands. Got to the store to pick up my new glasses. When I looked in the mirror for the glasses fitting, it looked like I didn't have on any makeup at all! Maybe you guys are right about giving it up. It is a pain to have to keep putting it on. An8el, almost forgot to say "Hi!" Hope you get your e-mail situation straightened out! -- Mannix
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Re: 150 Steps for January '10

Postby Unity » Wed Jan 20, 2010 8:48 am

Mannix welcome back. You've had a lot of changes in the last month and it looks as though they will be continuing. I wonder how that is going to affect your goals? I suppose time will tell. If your accountant says there are no complications will you feel under pressure to go ahead? I hope you get everything in writing from your friend, just in case something goes wrong when she's away and she denies discussing things with you. I was reading back through my last post and have no recollection writing it :D I must have been possessed going on about that woman in the library LOL
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Re: 150 Steps for January '10

Postby mango » Wed Jan 20, 2010 10:40 am

Mannix, I didn't live there - we just stayed there for the weekend. The house was in Kill Devil Hills. Love that name. Glad you had a good time, and the weather was good. You arrived just after the cold snap finally ended. That was a weird couple of weeks. Feels like spring now, though!
'Living is a form of not being sure, not knowing what next or how.
We guess. We may be wrong, but we take leap after leap in the dark.'

-- Agnes de Mille
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Re: 150 Steps for January '10

Postby paralegalgirl » Wed Jan 20, 2010 11:43 am

Soon it will be a year.
Last edited by paralegalgirl on Sat Apr 16, 2011 9:26 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: 150 Steps for January '10

Postby Mannix » Thu Jan 21, 2010 7:44 am

Hi, everybody, Woke up late this morning! I guess I needed the sleep. If I don't have any appointments in the morning, why not? :) Car is still at the shop. There was a problem but it's covered under extended warranty. But the guy didn't have all the parts he needed to fix it yesterday. Good heavens, PLG, that mechanic is not giving you very good advice! Who knows where you will be when the car breaks down? It sounds like you were in a relatively safe place when it happened, so that was good. But what if you had been on an interstate somewhere, or trying to get somewhere at a certain time? I think I would have a heart attack if my car broke down while I was trying to get to a wedding job! I do understand the irritation of the "check engine" light coming on and it's nothing. Seems like you could agree to bring it back after a certain number of miles to make sure nothing serious was going on, to prevent the possibility of breaking down. There used to be a service place around here that would evaluate the "check engine" light for free. Anyway, we'll see what happens after this. We may have to start thinking about selling it sooner than we'd planned if this stuff continues after the extended warranty finishes. Unity, I heard back from my accountant and he thinks it might be good to have a quick chat with my attorney. (Except I don't have an attorney ...) He doesn't seem to think going on this other account will affect my tax situation unless I'm handling payroll, which I don't think I'll be doing. As for my goals, I've talked about wanting to do something else, but still not sure what. If I set boundaries on what I want to do with this business, I can treat it as a "good-enough" job this summer. And I'll be working and being active. Otherwise, there's a good chance I'd just sit around the house all summer. The first lesson in this thing is to sit down with her and make sure she's clear about what I'm going to do while she's away. Mango, I guess I mis-read your previous post. Yes, I know Kill Devil Hills. Outer Banks hipsters refer to it as "KDH." :) Actually, we had breakfast there last Sunday! OK, on to a new day. Hope everyone has a good one, -- Mannix
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Re: 150 Steps for January '10

Postby Unity » Thu Jan 21, 2010 11:00 am

Hi all Well Mannix, looks like you might have a new job, I know you were thinking of making some changes this year, but I expected you never imagined it might be in this way. I can't remember what I was supposed to be writing about this month.. I know in December I wanted to sort out my address book once and for all and I think I might have done it, but not in the 'super organised' way that I hoped I would. I have been to reluctant to throw it away and use a new one. Overall I think I'm just forcing myself to carry on as everything seems to be up in the air lately and I feel that I really need to sort myself out once and for all.
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Re: 150 Steps for January '10

Postby Mannix » Thu Jan 21, 2010 11:10 am

Hi, Unity, Actually, I thought this might happen. I feel like I'm getting carried along on a current and not being in proactive in what I want, though. It's way past time to figure that out. At the same time, doing this job gets me into action and Barbara counsels that any kind of action is preferable to doing nothing. As a matter of fact, I saw in one of my friend's e-mails that she won't have a contract on her job until March, so there's still a chance her cruise ship job won't even happen. So I guess we'll see. -- Mannix
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Re: 150 Steps for January '10

Postby An8el » Thu Jan 21, 2010 1:28 pm

It's really sweet to read what others are up to here. Thanks for posting. I'm still using the Autofocus system successfully. It seems to be getting me over my "deer in the headlights" approach to coping with my problems. Yesterday I got myself over to pick up a sign I'm doing for the people I've house-sat as a donation to their kid's after school activity foundation. They're paying for the materials, so I thought I'd do the sign for free even though I don't have any money myself right now. At least I can look like I'm doing something gainful to my landlord when I don't have the money for the rent, even though it's not a paid job. Still thinking what to do about not having the rent for February's rent yet. Today I'm late on paying $50. utilities. I don't want to use the materials money I was given yesterday to pay for doing the sign. On the horizon, there's only an indeterminate amount of money for a website I'm going to help someone with doing, which won't be enough. Night before yesterday, I stumbled across a place to live nearby on craigslist.org that cost $300. less than what I'm paying now - (only $400. a month, including utilities!) It's in a perfect location for me. Thought about it for a day - then realized I had nothing to lose by responding. Sent an email off about it right away early this morning, though it was posted on Jan 19th and it's Jan. 21st. Probably this cheap place to live is taken and I'll never hear back about it. But figured I didn't have anything to lose at this point. If they call back, I'm going to march right over there and write them a check for what money I have, (my last hundred bucks) and then march over to ask a friend of mine to pay upfront for work I'm about to do on their website in the next two weeks. My landlord will be upset if I leave him in the lurch, but I will only have half the rent anyway - which is a total of $700. He wanted me to give him 45 days notice if I was moving out, but my lease is up as of Feb. 1st. So by my not being here my landlord can rent my place out if I leave - which might be better than me stiffing him without leaving. He's got a month's rent of my deposit anyway to keep. Have never not paid the rent on time. Am feeling...broke. Anyway - there's only a nothing to slim chance that this could work out successfully. But I thought I'd jump up and knock on the door, just in case it did. It was already Jan. 20th when I first saw the $400. a month place, so that's why I didn't respond right away. Figured it was already gone. But it's still listed up on craigslist, so maybe it's not gone. Cross your fingers for me...
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autofocus

Postby Lynx » Fri Jan 22, 2010 8:03 am

Whew, go away for a few days and life goes on! A smattering of commentary ... Lynx, do you need to go on the to-do list thread for that phone call? unity Naw, just admit I'm human and laugh it off. I 'allow' myself about two a year of gaffs like that because before I'd be sick to my stomach for days afterwards as the sirens of inner abuse would have their way with my psyche. Lynx, does your significant other seem interested in trying to improve her listening skills with you? Maybe if you keep prompting and telling her what you want, she'll get it. Mannix Sortov, we're 27 years into our relationship and the past 4 or 5 years I've been setting myself the goal of accepting that she can't handle this aspect for me and finding other ways or learning to suffer it out. Not perfect, but I'm not leaving the relationship over this. Well I ONLY wear lipstick, nothing else. And there wasn't a world disaster when I stopped with mascara or eye liner. Nor did I stop traffic, nor did anyone I spoke to collapse on the ground in horror! In fact, no-one has ever remarked on it or even noticed! Unity This is too funny! I sometimes notice but I don't know quite what to say. An8el’s Back! It's been nearly a year since I quit smoking, and I need some renewed inspiration. Unfortunately, I lost the book that had helpful day to day advise, and the book is out of print. I lost a book I was depending on to help me stay off the butts. At Barnes and Noble they told me I couldn't get the book because it was out of print. I doubted that so I looked up the author and emailed him, and he reminded me of the name of the book and suggested I go to Amazon. com. Amazon had a number of copies including new ones. I haven't used Amazon before, and I don't like to use my credit card online because I was getting so much spam from someone claiming to be from Paypal, but I was able to get an Amazon.com gift card at Walgreens, so I ordered the book. I hope it gets to me fast. PLG Idea - borrow inspiration from another tip=a=day site/project? (why does it sound so bad to say Mistress bedroom and bath?), Tapit -funny This woman who is 56 called me up the other day to tell me I'm supposed to give her a ride. In the fall when I got sick and didn't think I could make it to a concert she expected me to drive her to, she jumped out of my car and started running down the street saying that I was playing games. Then, she called me up and apologized and started asking for rides again. How do I drop her? She called me the other day to tell me it was her birthday like I was supposed to have called her. How do I drop her? The trouble is that I disclosed some personal information to her, and now she is hinting that she is going to extort rides and personal favors. How do I drop her? PLG Several ways. 1) Offer to drive her, and along the way have several errands of your own you "must" get to. Go somewhere off the direct route, go into a store and get into a long tedious conversation with a sales person. Then have a few other "stops" before you get to the destination. 2) Tell her what your rates are as a taxi service (make them higher than a commercial one.) 3) Just tell her, I did you a few favors, but I can't continue to do it. I am going back and forth between abject fear and happily addressing the challenges for this spring. My friend who sends me gigs is going on a cruise-ship job and she wants me to run her business while she's gone. She's already got me to play a weekend gig in May with her Celtic fiddle band. Now she wants to put me on her business bank account. This all seems so serious! Today, I need to talk with my accountant about any tax implications to signing on to the account. I also need to meet with my friend and make sure we're both clear on what I'm actually going to do with this business and her bands. Mannix I have observed that when someone is directionless people have a way of taking over that function. As for me, I'm back from a great vacation, all the travel arrangements "worked" and I managed to survive a week with my partner and family without significant incident. Came home to a partial remodel of our main bathroom. We had our artisan cabinet maker work on it while out town. Have a fresh project at work, and my social support network is intact still. First year anniversary at my job coming up, and all told, it has been a good enough year. Lynx
"Vision is not enough. It must be combined with venture. It is not enough to stare up the steps; we must step up the stairs." Vaclav Havel
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Re: 150 Steps for January '10

Postby Unity » Fri Jan 22, 2010 8:36 am

Hi Lynx, Thanks for your summary and comments on us since you've been away. Couple things jumped out at me - I never realised you've been with your other half for 27 years. I don't know what everyone else thought about it, but I assumed it must be much shorter than that. So Lynx you notice when women stop wearing make-up. I wonder how many other men do? When I read the quote of mine you copied, 'I ONLY wear lipstick and nothing else' then I went on to say 'nor did I stop traffic' - Well reading this a second time I suddenly saw a double meaning e.g. I was going around naked and no-one even noticed! LOL Glad your family vacation worked out well. An&el, hope you get your accommodation sorted. I wonder how many other people are living close to the edge as you - as you mentioned your last 100 dollars. Tapit, yes that expression 'master bedroom/bathroom' is interesting. Never thought about it until now. Mistress bedroom and bathroom sounds wrong, but why should it be?
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Re: 150 Steps for January '10

Postby Mannix » Fri Jan 22, 2010 10:54 am

Hello, everyone! Lynx, thanks for the comment on direction-less people and others taking over direction for them. Running this business looks like it will be my schooling in establishing direction. Yesterday, my gig friend confirmed to her other band members that I will be doing this job with them in May, without verifying with me. Then I was almost dragged into a performance with them for this Sunday!, to which I said NO. My husband points out that running this business is a good way to pay back someone who has gotten me a lot of music work. I've had steady work in the summers without having to do any job-hunting or self-promotion. On the other hand, we need to be clear about what specific duties I will do while she's gone. Otherwise, she will assume I'm going to do a lot of things without talking with me. So we are going to meet on Tuesday. She seems very anxious to get me signed on to her checking account. My accountant seems to think this wouldn't be a problem, but I'm thinking of asking her if we can get together FIRST, then go to the bank. If nothing else, it would be a mild exercise in assertiveness for me. My father, who is not an attorney, seems to think it would be sufficient for us to write up and sign a memorandum of understanding on what I will do while she's gone. So looks like this year will present the dual challenges of running the business and making time for other interests I haven't taken seriously. This time next year, hopefully I can see where music fits into what I want rather than just floating along because I don't know what else to do. But don't quote me on that. :wink: -- Mannix
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Comments

Postby Mannix » Fri Jan 22, 2010 11:06 am

Tapit, doesn't the "mistress bedroom" sound like it should have mirrors on the ceiling and a bathtub shaped like a champagne glass? :lol: There does seem to be a dimunition of authority between "master"/"mistress", "manager"/"manageress", etc. Even female actors seem to refer to themselves as actors rather than actresses. A reflection on woman's lesser position in society for such a long time and interesting that you hear the "female" versions less and less. An8el, I'm so sorry your finances are that tight. Have you heard back about the less expensive apartment? I hope things turn around for you soon. You're so resourceful so hopefully a new income stream idea has occurred to you by now. I'll keep my fingers crossed. Lynx, wow, 27 years with your partner! Even if she falls down in the support area, there must be something that keeps you together. Glad you survived your week with the family. I think the government needs to legislate an additional holiday in January because spending the holidays with family/in-laws is no vacation! :D PLG, hope you're not out driving the crazy lady around. And hope everyone has a great afternoon, -- Mannix
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Re: 150 Steps for January '10

Postby Unity » Fri Jan 22, 2010 11:25 am

Mannix this last post sounds as though you've been given an opportunity and just going with the flow? But I have to wonder if it's because you don't feel like you can't refuse? I know your husband thinks its a good idea but he's not the one that will have to do it in the end. I've lost count of the amount of times I've agreed to something that I instantly regretted so don't want the same to happen to you. I was once approached to take over the running of a charity once the person currently doing it finished in a months time. It seemed like too much work for one person so I asked for a trial run while they were still around. I had numerous meetings about it all and thought everything possible was discussed. However, they forgot to mention the most important thing of all - a 3 month vacation in Australia! Talk about getting into a tight spot! I was furious as I needed to get hold of them and no answer on the phone for 3 weeks eventually the police had to break their door in the belief they were lying on the floor hurt or dead! So my advice is to think long and hard as sometimes 'floating along' can be preferable to being in too deep. I hope that if you do go ahead you'll still have time for yourself.
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