inside film school

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inside film school

Postby gudrun_g » Fri Jan 15, 2010 10:01 am

Hey! I havent come by here in a long while. The reason for this is that I was too busy living one of the biggest dreams I had in my life- and Im still going through this joyful process. When I first came to this board, I had red Barbara´s book "wishcraft" because my life felt unsatisfying to me and I longed to find the right track in life. Wishcraft told me many things about me and when I entered this board in 2008, my nr.1 life on my "three lives" list was: to become a writer and documentarist. Back then- I was in Sweden for one year at the time, totally unhappy and clueless and pretty sure that I would never get into any profession I would truly love- I googled the net and, because of my big interest in documentary films, found a public film academy in Germany that taught documentary film making. One year later, in spring 2009 I applied for this school, determined to leave the field of the fine arts, where I had never felt much joy in and get into film making. I just did it, without believing I could ever make it into that school. I read rumours on the internet that over 1.500 people apply for the ca. 3x8 education places each year- but STILL. I applied.I didnt let my thoughts- who told me I could neever ever make it- get stronger than my will to at least give it a try. In May I got a letter from the school, an invitation to join for the entrance examination. And after going through this process, which took all the courage Ive got from me I was one of the 8 selected people in the field of documenary film making they took that year. The moment I made the phone call and was told that I was selected- my whole life changed around in less than a second. I always dreamed, but never really believed, that I would ever be strong, good enough, or talented enough to get into a film school. I never even tried before I turned 25. And now I study to become a director, and sometimes it even scares me. And then I remember how many times I had set with my sister, dreaming about film making....a million times and more... The school is really hard and I had to give up my whole life for it. I moved away from Vienna, the city I really loved- away from all my friends, everything I knew- but it was worth it. No matter how much it takes from me- I am thankful each day. I often thought about "wishcraft", especially when we started to have seminars about writing, dramaturgy, film making and all the things I was ever interested in. Because then, I would sit silent in one of this seminars and "wishcraft" would come to my mind, and I would think: Its true. When it is YOURS, your dream, the things you are REALLY good at- you cant take your eyes away, you cant take your ears off, you are fascinated without borders...Thats exactly how I feel about this. So, this is - truly- the biggest success story of my life. And no matter how hard the jobs will be, I will never ever forget how lucky I got- but also, how long I was stuck, didnt do anything that was right for me and felt like nothing good would ever happen for me. So, if you ever feel that way, TAKE STEPS! You need to GO FOR IT! The thoughts always say: you can NEVER have that. But you CAN. Thats not what I believe, but what I know now. All the best to everyone of you, Gudrun
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Re: inside film school

Postby educguess » Fri Jan 15, 2010 10:29 am

Congratulations! Hooray! Jumping for Joy! Outstanding! Well Done! And THANK YOU for sharing. Gertrud keep stepping!!
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Re: inside film school

Postby sallypz » Sat Jan 16, 2010 4:11 am

What a wonderful, inspiring story. Your story put tears in my eyes. I an so happy for you. I hope you career is a 100% success. I hope you get everything you dreamed you might possibly do in life. Thanks for the story. sallypz(MoxieMe)
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Re: inside film school

Postby skannie » Sun Jan 17, 2010 11:39 am

That's wonderful news Gudrun! Isn't it amazing how a book can change someone's life so much? But I think all Barbara's books have that potential. Hey, let me know the next time you come back to Vienna for a visit. I have a few Scanner friends there and I live just across the Danube in Bratislava. It would be great to meet up some time.
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Re: inside film school

Postby gudrun_g » Sun Jan 17, 2010 3:43 pm

Hey thank you guys!! Skannie, sure that would be nice! I really miss Vienna, its such a wonderful place to live! But Munich is nice too, I start to feel at home here and it will be even better when its spring and I can bike through town and cherish all the nature that I missed in Vienna. And also, I start to feel like Germany is also at least- a little bit- my country. :D There was one little thing that I wanted to add to my story because I think it could be help for others. I wrote that I read on the internet that they had 1500 applicants each year and there was no way of getting informations on the validy of this number. Then I heard about 800 people each year- and when I finally got into the school, we were told that around 440 people had applied- and from them they had selected around 30. It is still a huge number and I know I got lucky, because I met some really ounstanding, great people at the entrance examination who werent selected in the end. BUT- it is a very good example on how we tend to exaggerate things. I am a 100% sure, that each year hundreds of people dont apply for this school because they believe in this numbers and do the maths... I think it is very important to still try- no matter what you hear about how unrealistic it is to achieve something. One day, I remember, my brother and me were talking on the phone. I was still pretty clueless at that point and chewing on the issue of what to do with my life. And I said to my brother: Its almost impossible to get into documentary film making. " And he replied: "If it is so impossible, then who is making all this films?" And that was when I thought to myself: He is right. They are just people. Ordinary people like everyone else. Like me. I think one thing Barbara is trying to tell us and that was a really really big insight in my life is, that you HEAR SO MANY RUMOURS that simply arent true! And we never dare to do what we really want to do, because this rumours often stop us from simply taking the steps. I heard about film school: There are just really hard, extremely tense people. They all take cocaine and drink all the time and meanwhile, they make movies....Its ALL nonsense. The people around me are very focused, hard working, disciplined people with an aim in life. And its really wonderful, because everyone is so happy to be able to do what they love that it is a high level of productive energy. Of course, there are bad things too. And I must admit, I dont have much of a private life. But still. Its great and I guess my point is- things are usually sooo different from what we picture them to be. Have a good day out there!!! Bye! Gudrun
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Re: inside film school

Postby Scenario Thinker » Sun Jan 17, 2010 3:49 pm

You're right Gudrun, you can't believe all the rumors and hearsay, if it's in your heart, you have to try anyhow.
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