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This is the tiniest of steps, but I hope it will be a big one, anyway. (I hope you know what I mean). I was tortured as a child. I am 27 now, "all grown up", and have been in therapy for 11 years. Tonight, I decided to start keeping a blog. It is dark, it is not easy, and it is not edited. But I want to write my life story someday, and this is the way I think I'll get there. This is a tiny step in the right direction. So far, there are two very short blog entries. I would like it, if you have the time, and if you are so inclined, if you wouldn't mind going into my blog and just reading a bit, then leaving a nice comment of some sort. A huge part of the torture I went through when I was a child centered around me writing, and not being allowed to write. I would write about what was going on at home, for school (or to social services, which I did a couple of times), or I would just write a poem, and then I would be beaten until I was covered in welts as punishment. I know I am a writer...and I am not saying it is your job to coddle me, or whatever... I would just really appreciate some support along my way back. Thank you. Here is the address if you have the time: http://thisismebeingbrave.blogspot.com
Love it, love it, love it! You keep on writing. It is part of the healing process. I don't know if you have heard of it, but EFT (emotional freedom technique) is amazing for healing past hurts. Check out emofree.com I'm sure you have some practitioners where you live, and even if not, most of them will do it over the phone or skype with you. it works fast and is amazing. I know you are on your journey already, but this will help you heal faster so you can get your words out to the world. We're listening. *hugs* to you and the child you once were *HUGS*
I'd like to also encourage you to continue writing. For me, art is where I go when I'd like to recover my sanity in some way. My own writing was motivated by a sense of my own mortality. I thought that there were some people out there in the world, (nieces of an estranged sister,) who might wonder who I was all about. Having raised only one step-son, I wanted to leave some evidence of myself that would hang around after I was dead for long enough for my nieces to read it - if they wanted to do such a thing. They have suddenly made contact with me through Facebook, so what I hoped for is happening. I'm glad I looked ahead, because now my blog has around 150 posts. It's been years that I've been keeping it. As time has gone on, I've started to become happier that it exists. It doesn't matter to me that there are not many comments on it, (or that the topics run all over the map, me being a scanner!) The reason I have been writing it has been only for a few people who matter to me to read it. Now I understand that a person may have the contents of their blog turned into a "real" book by uploading it. It only costs the price of buying a book in a store to get your own hard copy of all your blog posts, including pictures. That sounds pretty cool. I think I'll do that one day and give the book to my brother and possibly my aunt, (she's 80+) It's a great answer for those folks who are not inclined to read things on the internet at all. As you say - a blog is a wonderful place to collect your writing. You can later decide to turn it into anything you'd like. I'm looking at it! Keep posting!
hey funnyvalentine, This is an emotionally huge thing you've taken on. I just read your posts and was sad that there weren't more to read. I'm wondering if stepping out in this public way has caused a setback for you emotionally. That seems likely, in my experience. Even writing this kind of material in a journal can bring up a ton. Putting your personal writing out in public is a huge step beyond that. However this is being for you, I hope you're being kind to yourself through the process. You deserve it!