Elaine Glimme wrote:I have some ideas.
In Barbara Sher's version of stages of excitement, Stage one is intoxicating euphoria - you can do anything.
Then there's stage 2 - you crash. Everything's bad. Barbara Sher would say to eat ice cream. This stage will pass.
Stage three is not the high of stage 1 nor the low stage three. You're just a person doing her thing. And that's where most of the work gets done.
Everything is so easy when it's all in your daydreams. Actually doing the work is hard. And that's what you're doing. You're doing the hard stuff. Putting the ideas down, and dealing with "I don't know." Congratulations on having the nerve to step out of the daydreams and actually do the work. So many of us don't.
Elaine, THANK YOU! for taking the time to think this through with me. I cut your quote down to the things that stood out most. I've definitely been in Stage One -- flying high, everything going great, total excitement, "intoxicating euphoria". I was so happy! Everything was falling into place.
Stage Two. Yuck! That's where I'm at. I thought it was so funny when you said Barbara would say go eat ice cream! I'm usually very careful not to buy a lot of sweets at one time because I just eat them all at once. I was feeling miserable all day yesterday. I went grocery shopping in the evening, bought a pound cake and three candy bars and ate them late at night! I felt very rebellious about it, saying to myself, "I don't care. I'm going to eat it anywhere. So, there!" I guess it's going to take me awhile to work my way through Stage Two. I woke up this morning feeling really miserable, too. I think I'm going to take a break from the design project, focus on laundry and cleaning the apartment -- mundane things.
Thank you for reminding me that what I'm doing is no small thing. I've taken one of my dreams out of the closet, dusted it off, given it a try again. I've done a huge amount of work on it over a period of a couple of months. I need to give myself credit for that and remember that it's okay to take a break. I guess I feel like if I take a break, I won't ever get back to it again. I don't trust myself. I still don't trust myself. I didn't do designing for over 20 years! If I take a break, maybe I won't get back to it for another 20 years. I'll be 81 years old then!
I'm scared. That's what it all boils down to. I'm really scared.
Thanks for telling me it's okay to rant. I guess that's really where I'm at. I just see all the negatives right now. I know Barbara says to focus on the baby steps, one step at a time. All I see is this huge thing -- not only a book, but learning about the internet in order to promote it. It seems overwhelming, boring, endless, depressing, definitely not fun at all.
I keep focusing on my age. I'm going to be 63 by the time the book is finished. Even if a publisher picks it up right away, I know from getting published in the past, it usually takes a year before the book comes out. I'd be 64. And the chances I'll find a publisher right away are slim to none. I'd be 65. Then I'd have to learn how to do self-publishing. I'd be 66, 67, 68 Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. I'm imagining the book being published posthumously. That would be no fun for me at all. I'd be dead and it would be too late to enjoy it.
Thanks for giving me permission to rant. Obviously, I'm in rant mode. I'm going to go do laundry. I hate laundry. It's dull and monotonous. Because I live in an apartment now, I have to go to a laundromat. I hate laundromats. But the laundry has piled up because I was doing designing and nothing else. I'd rather be bored in a laundromat than sit at home designing. I hate designing. I love my book title and my chapter titles. I hate all the actual designs. Ugly, uninspired, dull, boring, not creative. No one who has a baby would want any of these baby blanket designs. Etc. Etc. Etc.
Thank you again, Elaine. I was feeling so down yesterday I was thinking I'm not going to post on the Sher Boards anymore. I'm not even going to go there anymore.
Signing off as Non-Inspirational Inspire
P.S. I vaguely remember Barbara Sher saying a good rant is a good thing. I guess I should pat myself on the back for the one above. I might suck as a designer, but I guess I can write a pretty good rant...
As Lyndon would say "To be continued...."