November 2016 Daily Stepping

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Re: November 2016 Daily Stepping

Postby Elaine Glimme » Fri Nov 25, 2016 5:45 pm

Accountability - ouch! Okay, I'll transfer the 1.5 pages from my notebook to the novel, and I'll edit them. Then I'll e-mail the novel to myself.


Done - word count 9828, And best of all I recovered two pages that I thought were lost.

Yes, Inspire, you can be accountable to me if you want. But only if you promise to be kind to yourself.
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Re: November 2016 Daily Stepping

Postby inspiresuccess » Sat Nov 26, 2016 2:10 pm

Elaine Glimme wrote:Accountability - ouch! Okay, I'll transfer the 1.5 pages from my notebook to the novel, and I'll edit them. Then I'll e-mail the novel to myself.Done - word count 9828, And best of all I recovered two pages that I thought were lost.

Good job! Does "ouch" mean you'd prefer not to have accountability? Not everyone likes it, I know. Let me know if you'd rather not.

Elaine Glimme wrote:Yes, Inspire, you can be accountable to me if you want. But only if you promise to be kind to yourself.

I wasn't trying to be mean to myself. I was just trying to face the underlying feelings that are blocking me from moving forward with the project. It wasn't a proper B Sher rant. Rants don't always work. Sometimes, I need to have a quiet, thoughtful, facing the truth moment, instead of any angry rant.

As far as additional low feelings go, it's hard to feel good about myself when I have to spend every Thanksgiving and Christmas alone. It's sad and painful and hard not to feel depressed and miserable, no matter how hard I try to keep my feelings "up". I'll recover in a few days

I didn't get any work done yesterday. I wasn't recovered enough from Thanksgiving.

I'm asking my Dream Maker every night to help me work through the project's blocked feelings. That might help. I'm glad I'm getting dream journal help again.

I know accountability makes some people feel like they have someone hovering over their shoulder and they don't like it. For me, accountability makes me feel like someone cares.
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Re: November 2016 Daily Stepping

Postby inspiresuccess » Sat Nov 26, 2016 6:18 pm

Here's a real B Sher rant.

I was going to buy a TV on Monday. Excited. I've lived here for 3 years without one. Wintertime depression. Having music to listen to and programs to watch could help me with SAD this year. Decided I was too depressed to buy it before Thanksgiving. I'd wait until December. Still have my eye on a drafting table. Excited.

Very depressed today. Drug store has Teddy bears on sale. I need them for the photos for the baby blanket book. Left my apartment. Clipped my driver's side mirror off. Will cost me several hundred dollars to replace. Bye bye TV. Bye bye drafting table.

Carrying Teddy bears to car. Started crying. In the rain. Because I don't have children or grandchildren or nieces or nephews to buy them for. Just buying them for work. Work Work Work. No kids. Just work.

Back home. Took out a plastic container with applesauce in it. Dropped it on the floor. Plastic container broke. Can't find the broken piece. I always walk bare foot. Never wear shoes. Will probably discover it by stepping on it and cutting my foot. Changed my clothes. Four inch diameter black and blue mark on my shin. No idea how I did that.

Depressing, dark day. No library books to read. No TV. No friends to talk to. Just me. So sick of just me. So, so, so, sick of not having people. In the store with hearing aids, I can't understand what the clerks are saying to me. What's the point of wanting people to talk to.

One consolation about being alone on Thanksgiving is at least I don't have to watch people talking to each other and be left out because I have no idea what people are saying.

Poor, dark, gloomy, miserable, self-pitying me. It's only 5:00. What the hell do I do between now and bed. Last two nights, can't sleep. So, what's the point of waiting for sleep as an escape.

My husband used to say something to me that always made me laugh. It doesn't translate into writing because it was his facial expression and what he did with his voice that made me laugh. He'd say, "Poor, poor pitiful you". I can still hear his voice and how he said it. Makes me smile right now. And now I feel sorry for myself for not having a life partner.

Elaine, when I think of everything you've been through this past year, I feel so selfish whining about the small things I have to deal with. But a rant is a rant is a rant...

That's a pretty pathetic rant. Do I get points for it? It's not good enough for a gold star sticker but if I had one, I'd give myself a silver star. At least a bronze star.

Aren't you glad I'm posting here again? I bet I just cheered everyone up enormously.
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Re: November 2016 Daily Stepping

Postby inspiresuccess » Sat Nov 26, 2016 6:47 pm

Administered Nestle's Crunch therapy. Helped.

Wrote a positive thread in Success Stories. Helped.
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Re: November 2016 Daily Stepping

Postby Elaine Glimme » Sun Nov 27, 2016 10:30 am

Inspire, you get an A+ for the rant. Hopefully there's a star in the heading. I've never used the icons at the top before.

Okay, if you're just ranting to clear the air, go for it. One problem with the internet is that we can't see each other's feelings. We guess a lot. I also use bad words whenever I drop something, or a dog poops in front of my house, or the computer messes up, or I've lost something etc. etc. I always felt bad using the name of God when I'm angry, so I saw a lot of S**t and f**k and s**tf**ker. Mostly I get mad at myself.

I'm getting a lot of ranting done on Nanowrimo. I work on my novel - mostly editing, and I have a separate document for Nano. Then when I have something that I've finished I transfer it from the novel to the nanowrimo document. And when I feel like ranting, or typing just to be typing, i do it on the nanowrimo document. It works for me. The ranting and the typing are my warm ups ala Robert Louis Stevenson for the real typing.
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Re: November 2016 Daily Stepping

Postby reginamirus » Sun Nov 27, 2016 11:11 am

Fabulous rant! I had a day like that too the other day, so I can completely empathize. Feels good to be able to vent such things, doesn't it? I'd quit doing it long ago because I always felt like it was wasted energy. But sometimes, you just HAVE to get that stuff out of you, before it starts eating away at you internally like acid.
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Re: November 2016 Daily Stepping

Postby inspiresuccess » Sun Nov 27, 2016 11:35 am

Elaine and Regina, thanks for the feedback! I expected everyone to be bummed out by my rant. I'm so pleased you enjoyed it! It definitely helped. Well, the chocolate helped, too. Today I got up early and I'm getting stuff done. I guess letting off steam gave me some new energy. Also, writing the positive thread in Success Stories reminded me that there is a light side in my life to balance out the dark. I've kept that success to myself because of getting negative responses instead of positive. Elaine, thanks for your response on that thread.
Last edited by inspiresuccess on Sun Nov 27, 2016 6:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: November 2016 Daily Stepping

Postby reginamirus » Sun Nov 27, 2016 5:47 pm

Chocolate is NEVER a bad thing. Not. Ever. :wink:
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Re: November 2016 Daily Stepping

Postby Lynx » Sun Nov 27, 2016 5:52 pm

Inspire: "I've kept that success to myself because of getting negative responses instead of positive."

Ignore the negative responses, even push back on the folks who show such lack of empathy.

Thanks for allowing me a seat at your rant. I never understand "bad luck" either, and rant and rage all the time.

Today, feeling mixed, tired a bit but also wanting to press on with my Nanowrimo project. Last night I went to see a staged production of Treasure Island and came home to start my review. Finished it this AM.

http://www.dramainthehood.net/2016/11/treasureisland/

But it's a lot. Happy I'd not chased around in the afternoon and instead took a nap.

OK
1. Put some quotes from Rilke in my text.
2. Spend at least 35 minutes writing.
3. Quietly look at how December will unfold, with calendar in hand.
4. Read more in Simone Weil's The Need for Roots.
5. Do something away from the essay to get a bit of distance for the run at editing in December.
6. put away dishes/laundry.

Rant On! But first take a bite of Chocolate!
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Re: November 2016 Daily Stepping

Postby inspiresuccess » Sun Nov 27, 2016 6:54 pm

Lynx wrote:Thanks for allowing me a seat at your rant...Rant On! But first take a bite of Chocolate!
Lynx
Glad you enjoyed the show!

Speaking of shows, I read your review. Book-It sounds really intriguing. Wish I could see it. I had forgotten about Treasure Island. One of my favorite books as a child. I must have read it about 20 times. I LOVED Long John Silver. I think I'll get it at the library and read it again. It's been about 50 years since I've read it. I'm always amazed at my age. Living history. It's quite interesting.

Sounds like your life is moving along quite well. Good to see that. Keep up the good work. :D
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treasure island

Postby Lynx » Sun Nov 27, 2016 8:45 pm

Hi Inspire,

There's a link to the book in the second or third ¶,
http://www.online-literature.com/steven ... ureisland/

Have fun!
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nano goal crossed

Postby Lynx » Mon Nov 28, 2016 9:58 am

Hi,

I've crossed my total for the month (10K) and when I get half an hour I add 700+ words, which is almost every day.

Began work on the Opening and quickly bogged down. I needed a word for Rilke's sentiment in Munich while he endured the insanity of the War Spirit let loose during WW I. He wrote a friend:

“I spent the whole war in Munich, more or less by chance, waiting, and continually thinking that it must stop; not understanding it, not understanding it, not understanding it. It was not to be understood. Yes, that was my whole occupation these last years, and I can assure you it was no easy one.”

This I contrast with a line from Ionesco's Rhinoceros ...

My dear Berenger, one must always make an effort to understand. … Everything is logical. To understand is to justify. ~ Eugene Ionesco, Rhinoceros

So if Ionesco's character's effort is understanding, what is Rilke's effort called? English hasn't a word, and most definitions and synonyms for "not understanding" are not kind.

For the past hours and through my sleep this puzzle has floated just a bit behind my eyes. After a bit of searching I think I hobbled a term together which will serve.

A good feeling.

Lynx
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Re: November 2016 Daily Stepping

Postby reginamirus » Mon Nov 28, 2016 12:14 pm

Lynx, could you be searching for the word "comprehension"? To comprehend is to mentally absorb and synthesize meaning from one's surroundings and/or circumstances. Things that aren't understood are incomprehensible. Or possibly a non sequitor for something that's not follow a flow of logic for understanding?

Just thinking aloud, here.
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Re: November 2016 Daily Stepping

Postby Elaine Glimme » Mon Nov 28, 2016 12:36 pm

Wow, Lynx, You do bring up the tough questions.

I get both points of view. The world is crazy and doesn't make sense, so how can you understand it? But somewhere in that mess is a reason for the war, and a reason for the mess we're dealing with now. And you need to look at the reason behind the mess if you want to fix it.

That's why I write what I write. I do wish that millions and millions of people would read what I've written, and I know that's pie in the sky, but my writing is the only tool I have that's uniquely mine. (not The Molly Chronicles - that was just for fun and is not particularly deep. But my other stuff, Temporary Address and the sequel that still doesn't have a name are what I consider my way of doing something good.)

Congrats on getting 10,000. Hope you enjoyed nano.

Me - I'm going to try to get some writing done today. I got a couple of difficult chunks done and they still need polishing, but they're starting to look like the finished product. Thanks, Inspire.
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Re: November 2016 Daily Stepping

Postby inspiresuccess » Mon Nov 28, 2016 12:54 pm

Elaine Glimme wrote: I'm going to try to get some writing done today. I got a couple of difficult chunks done and they still need polishing, but they're starting to look like the finished product. Thanks, Inspire.
You're welcome. I'm glad the accountability helped. Please feel free to say, "I DON'T WANT ACCOUNTABILITY TODAY", in case I offer. I know sometimes it's the last thing someone wants.

Lynx and Regina. No comment because you're way over my head!

As for me, yesterday I got a huge amount done. "What a difference a day makes". I'm going to continue finishing up what I started. I finally got my printer to work this morning. Yay for me! It hasn't been working for days and things I want to print have been piling up.

Dream Maker has been helping me with many things (like the printer) but so far not with the design project. I'm patient because it may not be the right time to take on the project. In the meantime, I'm amazed at what she has been helping me with. Regina, Dream Maker is my dream guide that helps me while I sleep. Before I go to bed I write down what I need help with and then write my dreams down in the morning. Sometimes, I don't know how the dream connects with what I asked, but I trust her that she knows more than me!

Does anyone have anything you want us to hold you accountable for? Or are you okay for now? Or maybe you're one of the people who don't like the accountability approach. Let us know. Personally, I love it. I get way more stuff done if I know someone is waiting for me to do it and is going to check in with me to make sure I get it done.
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