by KyleM » Sat Feb 14, 2004 6:55 pm
Good questions and answers! My feeling about all of this is to look at it from two angles: the bigger picture and then the local (personal) aspects. Bigger picture: it's damn stressful to be human, with our species' unpredictable chemistry, emotions, biological remnants, behaviors and feelings about whose origins we have no clue. Add to that the barrage of information, expectations, choices, uncontrollable events, etc. of the world around us, whether that be of ancient times or today. All of this is enough to make many people anxious, fearful, or shut down, even just partially, and not feel safe or clear enough to make the most forward-moving choices for ourselves. Change = anxiety, and who needs more of that? Local/personal: similar to the above, but on a family/social group scale, with all its baggage, and that of the era one lives in that contributes to a particular family pattern. Plus, one's personal sensitivity, temperament, unique physiology, preferences, etc. and its relation to anxiety or fear. So, does fear = settling? I don't know. I think all of the behaviors you named, Tituba, are really unconscious survival or defense mechanisms taken beyond their usefulness. Why do some people do them and not others? I think it goes back to how sensitive or wounded a person is. Temperament. At any rate, it would seem then that one way to alter these defenses is to make friends with them and understand why they are there in the first place, rather than hate them. But first one needs to get conscious of them and their role. No easy task! I love Rilke's quote: "How should we be able to forget those ancient myths that are at the beginning of all peoples, the myths about dragons that at the last moment turn into princesses; perhaps all the dragons of our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us once beautiful and brave. Perhaps everything terrible is in its deepest being something helpless that wants help from us."