A place to share stories about good guys and to get ideas and information about being one yourself.
My husband and I were getting ready to leave a restaurant when i noticed an elderly man having trouble opening the door to get into the restaurant. A man was behind him and held the door for the elderly man. The elderly man was holding the door now, and I was going to hold it for him so he could let go of the door (it was obvious that the door was too heavy for him) and he said "Go ahead Miss, I'll hold the door for you." Then he saw my husband approaching the door, and he held it for my husband too, saying "We can't forget about him." That guy was so nice and amazing, that I said to my husband "Do you think he was an angel in disguise?"
Sorry, but I don't get it. If I hold the door open for someone, and say:"We can't forget him" then I'm an angel ?!?kashtanka wrote:My husband and I were getting ready to leave a restaurant when i noticed an elderly man having trouble opening the door to get into the restaurant. A man was behind him and held the door for the elderly man. The elderly man was holding the door now, and I was going to hold it for him so he could let go of the door (it was obvious that the door was too heavy for him) and he said "Go ahead Miss, I'll hold the door for you." Then he saw my husband approaching the door, and he held it for my husband too, saying "We can't forget about him." That guy was so nice and amazing, that I said to my husband "Do you think he was an angel in disguise?"
Winter, the situation was that an old man got the door opened for him by a person ahead of the old man, who noticed the old man was having trouble moving the heavy door. Once the door was opened and stationary, the old man had no trouble keeping it open for the woman who was behind him who was telling the story: Kashtanka. Then the old man noticed that as Kashtanka walked through the door, she also had a husband who was just behind her. So the old man, with his remark of saying, \"We can't forget about the him, (indicating the husband trailing the woman)\" that the old man wanted to continue holding the door for the husband, even though the husband didn't really deserve to have the door held for him in spite of the probable fact that the husband was obviously an able-bodied man. What made the whole situation angelic was, in this way, the people involved traded off the roles of helper and recipient so everyone could feel they had the capacity to both give and receive gracefully. The joking remark from the old man nicely compensated for the common social opinion that being the recipient of help in our culture is regarded to be slightly embarrassing; especially when help is not necessary or deserved by your station or position in life. The old man wanted to hold the door open for someone else because the door had been opened for him. The old man wanted to demonstrate there are still things he is able to do for others and that he wants to help others, despite his possibly declining health. Some women can feel it is a sexist and belittling gesture from a man who opens doors for them; it implies that women are generally so helpless that they need such favors even though the woman is obviously not pregnant, hobbled by high heels or has her ability to move restricted by a tight dress, etc. Hey, well my name is Angel, so I have lots of practice understanding these things...
I would love to hear more little reports about "random acts of kindness and senseless beauty." One of the characteristics of "Angel-hood" is randomness and senselessness. It seems that often, people do things that don't make sense at the time when they are embodying what it means to be an Angel. But somehow people believe in the motivations that come to them intuitively. They must do these things with a faithfulness that their actions will make sense later on. The ability to do Angelic things for others is something that happens sort of "accidentally on purpose." I was out walking in my brand new storm gear to see the waves crash on the bulkhead after 10pm. While watching the violent sea waves, I decided to stop in at my friend Susan's house, which was 30 min out the way of my long walk home. I knew she would be awake because she was a "night owl." When I arrived, all the lights were on, but nobody was working on the bottom level as usual, so I let myself in to Susan's & Colin's house and walked up to the second kitchen level, calling out. Hearing Susan's voice from the bedroom on the third level loft, I climbed the third set of stairs and discovered her having severe menstrual cramps; pains so bad she could not move. Her partner Colin had flown away on a trip that morning; it was now almost midnight and she had not been able to come down from the loft for the last two hours to call anyone on the land line for help. She did not think her problems serious enough to ride the hour to the hospital along a storming, bumpy winding road. I had learned that if someone very gently lets the weight of their hands fall on the tailbone of the person having cramps, that the gentle shaking motion of the weight landing on their pelvic region can shake free cramping as it is very gently repeated and perhaps gradually increased in force. So we tried this strategy. It did work to entirely relieve Susan's significant menstrual pain. Susan later reported that evidently the episode was related to a miscarriage rather than a difficult menstrual period. How had I gotten the idea to show up in the middle of the night, walking half an hour out of my way (total of an hour both ways!) without changing my desire to want to visit her at midnight? I followed a desire that did not make much sense on the front end, but made a great deal of sense once I arrived. I'm sure you have a story about this in your own life, either being the Angel...or naming someone as your Angel.
Well, then there's every once in a while a women at my workplace who knows fully well I'm walking very near behind her, yet she opens the door just a sliver to let their slim body slip through (why is it always the slim ones?), thus by the time I reach the door, I have to open it all the way for myself. It could be they're so weak they can only open it enough for their body to get through, or maybe they do it because they can, but in the name of common courtesy, it wouldn't be that hard to at least hold it open even that sliver until I got there, especially when it would only be a second or two. I would also say they might not know I'm coming, but the doors are all glass, so you can see the reflection behind you, plus the floors are the kind that let miles of computer wire go underneath them, so you almost always hear someone coming behind you. OK, I didn't mean to be cynical. The real reason for my post was another thing that just happened to me. As people form lines to the cash register in our little work coffee shop, I let a woman who was obviously "behind" me in the queue go ahead of me to get in line. It was close, but no one would have given it a second thought if I were to have gotten in line first. Well, I got up to pay and the cashier said, "She paid for it", nodding to the woman I let in front of me. I looked surprised and thanked the woman and she said, "Just because ...". That made my morning.An8el wrote:Some women can feel it is a sexist and belittling gesture from a man who opens doors for them; it implies that women are generally so helpless that they need such favors ...
Scenario, that happened to me in line at the Golden Gate Bridge toll booth; I let a rental moving truck change lanes in front of me; the driver had gotten into the wrong lane for where the double axle trucks should be. In front of me, he paid for my van go by the $5 toll! It was so sweet...and having no chance to even say "thanks" doubled the feeling. Kathy, I'm grateful that my "talent" is something you appreciate. People often wonder what my motive is for seeing the need for spelling out so many "obvious" details. They react as if I'm insulting their intelligence, that such things should "not" be discussed or even superstition that it "spoils" the joke or meaning to articulate it! Sometimes my detailed explanations are show-stoppers too - because I seem to go for the complete story that aspires to the "ultimate" one-thing explanation. I really know there are many, many points of views out there and I want to hear them! Having honed my talent/ability to so specifically describe any particular point of view can stupefy others into stumbling out there to do it without much practice. So, my ability and the time I've spent being able to write about it is sort of a double-edged sword that I'm still figuring out how to wield the way I mean it to be used. I learned the advantage of practicing to do it from an exercise when I was 15 from the book by Edward de Bono called: "Po, Guide To Creative Thinking." There was an exercise where you would speculate what was going on in a puzzling situation where you couldn't ask the person involved. You were supposed to come up with as many explanations as were plausible. ...And like the website http://www.assumelove.com advocates you were supposed to assume there was an innocent, reasonable or maybe even loving explanation available - as opposed to a dangerous, self-protective or negative explanation. A footnote: A book I'm just reading called "The How of Happiness" by Sonja Lyubomirsky. It cites that delivering acts of kindness to be a scientifically proven happiness enhancer. Best employed when you pick a day to perform the "random acts of kindness" above and beyond the kindnesses you habitually extend to others. (Must be part of the reason why Christmas gift exchanging came to be such a popular thing.)
Last edited by An8el on Sun Dec 28, 2008 3:53 am, edited 3 times in total.
I dont think he was an angel ( I dont believe in angels). however, i think this was a perfect example of how very simple acts of a very small kindness can make an impression. Lets face it, holding the door open for someone isn't a huge deal. However, it still something nice that a total stranger is doing for you and for those people who pay attention, it can really put a positive spin on your day. Just look at this bulletin board. It's not that big of a deal if someone responds to a question with a few sentences and posts a link or something. It only takes a few minutes. But that's a few minutes that someone did something to help someone they probably don't know, and that they almost certainly dont expect to receive anything for doing it. They just do it to be nice/helpful.
My Blog http://blog.imerk.com
I think we so "rarely" see kindness (without an ulterior motive) that it is almost "shocking" to us and really makes an impression on our minds and spirit.
My Blog is: http://www.Tricialovesbooks.blogspot.com Let go of the belief that the past could have been any different.
a few more for you Angel and all my sister in law and her 7 year old held their collective breaths this spring as a mother duck negotiated a busy road and led her brood safely to the opposite side. When they got there mom jumped up. One at a time each small duckling rocked back and forth and then launched up with all its might making it up on the curb. Finally the last and smallest duckling after trying several times clearly couldn't do it. To a chorus of mommy help him my sister in law slowly blocked with her can and shepherded the duckling down to the cut out for wheel chairs where he swiftly climbed up and ran to join his family someone was at the emergency vet with what they feared was a dangerously ill dog who might need emergency surgency. The doctor was in and out and left the door ajar. As they sat there they overheard a mom and what looked like a rough and tough teenage boy talking about the family cat. It became clear that they both loved the cat and that they were prepared to sacrifice deeply to pay for the first round of emergency vet care but that the second steps the vet indicated might be needed were beyond their pocket book. The boy told his mom he would gladly sell anything he had that might bring money and she sadly thanked him and said it wouldn't be enough and that she couldn't put the family at risk going into more debt. The vet came back to the person with the dog for whom the news was good. As they checked out with pain killers rather than surgery they thought about how lucky they were to have the means to pay if the diagnosis had been different. Then they told the clerk to charge $750 to their card and use it for the cat to the extent needed and for other animals in need to the extent there was extra. When they called the next day they got the happy news that the cat had responded to the emergency treatment and would be going home to its loving family the next day. Angels whether without or within us whether you call it simply being kind or releasing the angel within in any form it is something to enjoy and celebrate