Silly Self-Reward System

[Jezicka]

I'm sure this won't be for everyone, but I've developed a sort of shorthand system to keep myself motivated and also to remind myself of all of the obstacles I overcome. I borrowed this from my father years ago, when I first started working through "Wishcraft" and I rediscovered it and refined it recently when I started with a Success Team. When I was a kid my Pop scandalized his very dignified and conservative biology department by putting up a calendar and giving himself a gold star for every day he studied German. He got the idea from his kids' school work, and I guess because it was 'childish' people at his work thought it was a ridiculous idea. But it worked equally well for me when I was 5 to stop my bed-wetting, for my Pop studying German (and later doing other repetitive, not intrinisically very rewarding things) and it worked for me later when I was working on various goals with Wishcraft. I used different colored stars for different activities and got one of those daily calendar books. When I went back a couple of weeks ago to look for my old foil stars I discovered that they no longer make them-- but they did have various multi-colored star stickers-- and lots of other cute stickers, so I bought myself some froggies and some butterflies as well, just for fun. Then last week I had one of those super-frustrating days when everything goes wrong and nothing works. I couldn't give myself a star for a lot of things, because I either hadn't had time to do the activity at all or I hadn't completed the project. So I gave myself a frog sticker for each set-back (with a little notation about what the obstacle was) and then, since, as often happens, one of the 'set-backs' was actually something quite fortuitous, but unplanned which had happened, I gave myself a butterfly for 'serendipity'! Now I have a nice shorthand record showing all the work I've done, the obstacles I've been faced with and the 'lucky coincidences' that have come my way for the past few weeks! [This message has been edited by Jezicka (edited May 25, 2003).] [This message has been edited by Jezicka (edited June 06, 2003).]

[JazzMuse]

Hi Jezicka - That's so great! I love the story about your dad! I made up a little weekly chart for things like meditation, yoga, cleaning, practicing, etc. on the same idea. If I sort-of do something (2 min of meditation instead of 10 min) then I give myself a dot. If I do it completely, I give myself an eighth-note (with a little success flag). It's much more fun than focusing on what I didn't do. I use different colored smelly gelly pens to inspire me to actually fill it out. JazzMuse

[Jezicka]

Oh-- I like that JazzMuse! I'll have to buy myself some dots, too-- I've been working on most of my goals pretty regularly, but I have a lot of trouble doing as much as I wanted to on some of them!

[MeowGirl]

How fun! No, it's not silly at all! I keep a month-at-a-glance calendar and give myself one sparkly star for each page I write, a heart for every 30 minutes of exercise, and a fun sticker (like those little dots that say "Super!" or "Way to Go!") if I take a scary step toward a goal, such as submitting a draft article or query letter to a magazine. I like the idea of marking your setbacks as well. I'll have to try that.

[AVATC]

This is far from being a silly idea! I loved it so much that I just emailed the page to 2 friends! Do you write a line for what the star or sticker stands for? I\'m afraid that at some point in the future I wouldn\'t remember what each symbol was supposed to mean. I do well at self-movtivation, but the only way for me to see how far I\'ve come is to re-read journal entries. I like this idea to give me the quick picture of my ongoing progress! ------------------ Karen Commins http://www.AVOICEAboveTheCrowd.com

[Jezicka]

Thanks, everyone, for the great feedback! Yes, I have a 'key' to tell me what the symbols are- I'm sure I'd forget, and I'll probably end up changing them as I meet one or another goal or change my mind about what's important to me. I also try to try to make some kind of note of what it was I did or what didn't work out the way I planned-- because I'll forget THAT too. I had a great burst of energy for several weeks, and I felt great, finally getting done-- or at least started on-- all kinds of things that I'd been putting off. But now comes the hard part-- keeping the ball rolling, feeling like nothing's going quite as fast or as smoothley as I'd imagined it. Some days the only reason I write anything at all is to be able to give myself a green star. Right now we're doing the 'actions and feelings' journal out of Wishcraft for our Success Team and I'm going to try to use my sticky calendar to help me figure out why it's so hard for me to keep going some days.

[dial]

oh, yes, we are sticker fans here. on the mirror, fridge, computer, bathroom wall, whatever can't move fast enough to get away gets a sticker in this house.

[ThebaRose]

My best friend and I "treat" each other. We state what we're working on and when we accomplish a few steps or an important step, we send each other goofy little gifties. She's in South Dakota and I'm in Texas and both of our mail carriers love delivering our packages because we often decorate the outside of the package (without making it hard to read the addresses, of course!). The gifties are little things from candles to homemade cards to trinkets to downright silly stuff and they never fail to make us feel appreciated, acknowledged, empowered (because it reminds us of our success)and loved. BTW, my friend and I are sticker freaks, too. Also, my dad recently became a sticker freak. EM

[alwen]

This is great, because I am a terrifically VISUAL person. Pictures and stickers inspire me much more than words. Thanks for the idea!

[AVATC]

Jezicka, thanks for sharing the outstanding idea! My sister-in-law, who is writing a book, and I both loved this idea so much that we have already started our reward calendars! I had such a wonderfully relaxing time of picking out everything about my calendar and stickers. I got a Flavia 2 page-per-week calendar set from Day-Timer; I like her designs and quotes. I didn't like any of the Day-Timer planner books, so I bought a small 3-ring binder that perfectly accommodates the pages. I bought the following stickers: Stars -- for work on voice-over goals Music notes -- for when I practice my harp Feet -- for when I exercise Rainbows -- for synchronicity or signs/messages/gifts from the Universe Clouds -- for when I have setbacks Pink Flamingos -- for when I have FUN (between the day job and the voice-over career, all of these other things on the list tend to get lost....especially fun!) Positive Words -- for when I accomplish big tasks or goals I decided to decorate the cover of my plain notebook. I started with a paper scrapbook frame, and then, would you believe I actually found little painted wood things of STARS, a MUSIC NOTE, a FOOT and a RAINBOW! I got foam, colored letters and spelled out the word GOALS. My inner child is completely delighted with the appearance of my awesome book, and now I'm motivated to be able to give myself stickers for things. I had not been to aerobics in over 2 months, but now I've been twice in 2 days. Seeing those feet stickers yesterday and today makes me strangely happy! This is gonna be such FUN! Ooohh -- maybe I should give myself a pink flamingo for filling in my book! ------------------ Karen Commins www.AVOICEAboveTheCrowd.com [This message has been edited by AVATC (edited May 23, 2003).]

[Jezicka]

Thanks for all the wonderful feedback! I love 'feet' and 'hearts' stickers for exercise and the idea of some kind of special stickers for starting or completing something hard or scarey. You guys are great!

[happymagics]

Hi everyone! I just love this idea! I do something similar and its amazing what a difference it makes. I put colorful stickers on my monthly calender for each event that is coming up. I started doing it for my four year old as something for us to do together. But I was amazed at how putting a sticker by an event suddenly turns that event into a "happening." Its hard to explain but even things like going to the doctor seem somehow cheerful when you put a "medical" sticker next to it. My daughter and I now look out over the month for fun things to put stickers on and all the things we decorate somehow turn into fun! I'm going to start putting stars on the calender to reward myself just as you suggested. Soon I'm going to have the most colorful cheerful calender you ever saw. Every time I look at it, its going to remind me of how many wonderful things I really have in my life. I love you guys! happymagics

[Jezicka]

Wow, you guys are some creative bunch! AVATC - I wish I had your sticker source! I just went and bought myself a bunch more yesterday. Got some little globes for when I'm planning travel and some of those 'good going' dots, oh, and party hats for special successes or real parties. I didn't find any feet for exercise, but there are hearts. I'm also looking for something to give myself for plugging along at something-- maybe a train engine? Thanks for all the suggestions!

[AVATC]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=\"1\" face=\"Verdana, Arial\">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Jezicka: AVATC - I wish I had your sticker source! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Do you have a Michaels craft store in your area? That\'s where I went, and they had a whole aisle devoted to stickers! I am enjoying my goal book very much, and the stickers are actually motivating me to do things. Thank YOU for the idea! ------------------ Karen Commins http://www.AVOICEAboveTheCrowd.com

[Jezicka]

AVATC -- I did get to a Michael's, but I didn't find quite so many cool stickers as you seem to have. My Success Team leader, Bmasker suggested something called a xiron machine-- I'm not sure, but I think it lets you make your own stickers. (Also removeable stickers, which seems like a good idea.) One of the people on my team also said she's got a big three-sided poster board at home where she wants to put up a big calendar with stickers. That sounds like it would be really great-- then I'd just note things down on my day calendar as I did them at have a big motivating calendar to come home to. I could also put up all my flow charts for various activities, quotes and anything else that might help remind me to keep on track and where I'm headed. By the way, AVATC and JazzMuse -- I love your websites! JazzMuse-- Jazz has a long tradition in the Czech Republic too, if you're looking for yet another language to sing in!