Painted my way out of the pain

[JeannetteLS]

Remember my workshop space? That I put an actual studio in my home and how upset I was in April with the folks who torpedoed my dream? A friend reminded me that the original concept, Jessie's Voice, named after my late daughter, was to offer a place where writers or artists could come and do their work, without being interrupted, without family questioning the value of their activity, without worrying about the mess. That was the dream about six years ago. Well, when she was here one night, doing her thing, I turned a happy accident into a start for a painting. And over the last three days, when life has been nearly unbearably painful in every way, I completed my first abstract collage landscape. I have not had the courage to really simply go for it with a painting like this, and I finished it. And I LOVE It. Me. I never say that about my own artwork. I don't have a digital camera, but perhaps one of my friends will take a picture. But that isn't the point. I let myself paint away the worry, the shooting pains, the exhaustion from caretaking, and the emotional and body memories of the anniversary of my daughter's death. And the painting is joyful --all four seasons in New England. I acutally simply CALLED it New England Dream: Four seasons. I look at it and feel as if I could simply walk into it. So that's a success. And I managed to meet two deadlines, even for Stanford. SO the horrible couple of weeks have had some real successes. My friend with the stroke had another, but he made it. Long haul ahead nad I'll be having folks staying here a good bit. I miss reading things in here, but the point of what we learn is to go out and DO. So Ill "see" you all when life is a tad calmer.

[Tituba]

[Unity]

Jeannette I'm so pleased for you.

[JeannetteLS]

Unity, thank you. I"m gonna read around the board this morning, and hopefully see how you are doing... Tituba? You are a nut. I like this about you... Thanks!

[sallypz]

Jeannette---What a catharsis!! Glad you found some relief. I cannot imagine how painful losing your daughter would be. I have 2 girls it would be crushingly painful to lose one of them. My older daughter is looking into going into occupational therapy...I'll relate your story about the collage to her. Collage sounds beautiful. Is there a way to post it here, the photo, when you get that?? Love the snoopy. sallypz (MoxieMe)

[JeannetteLS]

I will probably put my painting on my blog, if I ever get the photo, and I'll let folks know. Thank you, Sally. Funny. I never think of it as occupational therapy. It IS. I just think of it as my media--paint, paper, and pens. Both writing and creating visual art with craft paper, water colors and ink. I get lost in it, thank God. Have a good week.

[Wolf Goddess]

Jeanette: That is so grrrreat (Tony the Tiger voice). Doesn't it feel nice to finally move forward through all the pain? I haven't lost any children, so I can't even pretend to know how that feels. I do know that I get stuck in my own pain and my world gets smaller and smaller. But you pushed through to the light. Way cool. WG