150 Steps for October '09

[Jane B]

Jane I'm sure that you know what you are doing, so don't mind me

Actually Unity, I wouldn't say that I know what I am doing! I haven't been having much luck in my dating life so I am exploring new ways of doing things and trying out anything that makes sense. Any input or advice you may have is more than welcome. Sallypz, glad you are feeling positive about your job seeking after your difficult experience with your previous job. I will make sure I let you know how the Vietnam adoption goes. Not too much to report here. Working, familiarizing myself with recording software on my new laptop and trying to get out and meet people. The usual. JB

[Unity]

Hi all Jane, I don't know about my advice in terms of actual dating nowadays as I haven't since before my ill fated marriage (seems like a 100 years ago) but I never used to have trouble in that area because I always had too much confidence and the self belief that I could get any man I wanted But if you're not confident then you normally don't even have to say much when you meet someone if you give them the impression that they are really fascinating as they will talk about themselves all night What sort of man do you want to meet - quiet or extrovert? PLG - that's so funny. Ever fancied going out with one of them? You might get free classes. Hi Sally thanks for your update about your job search and Halloween outfits. Hope your previous work experience doesn't upset you too much.

[sallypz]

Unity I guess I have to find a way to adapt to the feelings about the previous work experience. Life is life, or it is what it is, I just have to get use to it. Woke up tonite wondering about something. Des anyone have some thoughts. I'm behind in payments on my mortgage in Fla. The mortgage co. was taken over by another company & immediately my payments tripled. They added a huge escrow extra payment that hadn't been there before. If I sent them money marked to pay my interest & payment (minus the escrow) that would bring the actual loan up to date. Would that put me in enough of a 'safety zone' to save my house from possible foreclosure?? If I mark on the check that that's the portion of the amount 'due' that the money is for then the loan company legally has to put the money in that section of the loan only. Same as if you want to make an extra payment on your principal only if you mark the check 'for principal only' the mortgage company can legally only put that money on the principal. This may not really be the thread to put this question in but one of my goals for Oct is to 'fix' some of my bills. On the lighter side. Took the girls apple picking today. It was sooo cold out there. But we did have a good time and got a lot of apples. Next year will go earlier in the season. Sunday is Pumpkin getting day. Tanya was thrilled at being able to pick apples off a tree. She's never even seen that before, I wanted her to have that experience. She was so excited & wants to bring some apples to school to tell the teacher where they come from. I can see in her that a whole new world of experiences and possibilities is opening up for her. It's very fulfilling. sallypz(MoxieMe)

[Lynx]

Sally: The mortgage co. was taken over by another company & immediately my payments tripled. This seems odd as most people wouldn't sign a mortgage contract where the holder can increase payments at their whim. I'd check your paperwork and contact the FL authorities who oversee banking and mortgages, consumer credit, Better Business Bureau, etc. Something fishy is going on. Picking food right from the source is a blast. In Seattle, I can literally walk and graze as I go. There's a concord grape vine with grapes just begging to be picked around the corner but I don't know the renters/owners and am not sure how to approach. Me: Er, I live near hear and have sampled your grapes. Mind if I pick them. How much would you want from my haul? Lynx

[paralegalgirl]

Hi everyone: No, the fact that the mortgage company was taken over by another mortgage company and your payments tripled is not odd. That's what's been happening all over the country, and that's what's killed the economy and caused a recession. I worked at a title insurance company for four years where we were issuing mortgage policies on second and third mortgages. Additionally, mortgages come with riders that customers were unfamiliar with such as the infamous adjustable rate mortgage. However, this is the situation that the Obama administration supposedly is offering some assistance with so I would look for a legal aid society in your area or contact the housing administration in your area to see if you can get relief. It's a horrible situation that was allowed to occur for years and years.

[Unity]

PLG, re your choices in men - I haven't heard about 'smoking gun' (or did I make that name up ) for a while

[paralegalgirl]

Hi Unity: You put a smile on my face again.

[Jane B]

Hello all, Sally, mortgage issues are not really my department, but I'll wish you good luck sorting it all out. Lynx, why don't you just go and ask them if the grapes are for public picking? Whatever their mission, they are most likely there to make money, so I'm sure they'd gladly give out any information.

What sort of man do you want to meet - quiet or extrovert?

I guess this question is not all that important to me. I've been with quiet guys AND extroverts and find that both have something to offer. I do know one thing I'd like to find: a guy that doesn't have a ton of deep-rooted insecurities. Sure everyone is insecure to some extent, but I always seem to be attracting the troubled and tormented artistic types who have difficulty connecting with people. I'm a "serious" musician and therefore am naturally drawn to other artistic types, yet I also feel comfortable in my own skin and satisfied with my life. Seems quite difficult, at least from my experience, to find someone else like this.

[Lynx]

Hey Steppers, Life is just tumbling along. Getting things ON order I've been thinking about buying for a while. Nothing big (world's thinnest wallet, All-Ett; a book on Teen Sex and the Law for work; and yet another I Ching Book). I'm not tired, but close. I have a long day tomorrow and will devote myself to some job related work over the weekend so I can take a day and a half class on excel Monday and Tuesday. I have a bundle of things to giveaway, sitting here, waiting for the weekend and some energy. I'm enjoying the nuances of dancin & romancin but not much I can contribute at the moment. A friend sent this Hesse poem today: "As every flower fades and as all youth Departs, so life at every stage, So every virtue, so our grasp of truth, Blooms in its day and may not last forever. Since life may summon us at every age Be ready, heart, for parting, new endeavor, Be ready bravely and without remorse To find new light that old ties cannot give. In all beginnings dwells a magic force For guarding us and helping us to live." - Hermann Hesse Lynx

[paralegalgirl]

Hi everyone: Lynx: that Hesse poem was very deep. I wonder how it sounds in its original German.

[sallypz]

PLG sorry about your tooth and your dad. Hope you can get the tooth fixed asap. Lynx I really like the poem. So true that new beginnings have a magic to them. I decided I will send my mortgage company a check with written on it 'for payment on principal and interest only'. If I write that on the check then that's the portion of the payments they have to use the money for. That's the portion of the loan that remained the same. I had diligently been paying extra on my principal every month since I bought the house (foolish me??) so my total principal owed is not very much. The escrow section of the loan payment is what the mortage company increased so high that it's unreasonable. I'll take the chance and see what happens. Today was a good day. I went job hunting right at the computer. I applied for about 6 different jobs today. One that I really hope pans out. It's something I know I would like and often a difficult position to get as there not often openings. Also figured out about 5 more places to send out resumes too that often do not post openings. So that's lots of progress for October. Halloween decorating is coming along nicely. Since it's my grandson's first halloween (& Tanya is very excited about this Halloween) I'm going to make a Halloween Scrapbook as a keepsake. Have already some pictures--we went apple picking and it was freezing out--and to the local pumpkin patch/farm---those pix will go in the scrapbook. Tanya & I went leaf gathering & got lots of colorful fall leaves to include in the scrapbook too. Since I'm making costumes will also include scraps of material from the costumes. Life can be fun (even if you're unemployed), I guess a person just has to find ways to make it fun. I heard from a friend that Florida is having record highs recently 105 degrees???? Glad I'm not there anymore. I'm glad I moved. I think I'm "ready bravely and without remorse To find new light that old ties cannot give. In all beginnings dwells a magic force"...I think part of my Magic Force is all the fun we're having here this October. Happy October..enjoy the magic of Autumn. sallypz (MoxieMe)

[Lynx]

Hey, Thanks for the idea of the Hesse poem in German! Don't know the language but I might see if youtube has it posted. PLG and the freedom to breathe. You have about two weeks left for October. I support you with this suggestion for dealing with family stress: remind yourself that you were raised by amateurs. Sally: "The escrow section of the loan payment is what the mortage company increased so high that it's unreasonable." This part is most often set aside to pay taxes. You can check to see where your assessment is etc. You can also take back that responsibility yourself and pay your taxes yourself. Lynx

[paralegalgirl]

Thank you so much Lynx: Please. Mr. Bentley is so much hotter anyway.

[sallypz]

Lynx thank you for the suggestion. I like the idea that parents are amateurs, it does help to remember that, being an amateur parent myself I completely agree. PLG enjoy the dance. October is going along nicely. I have found some creative ways to look for jobs in my field. I'm very happy about that....I'll be even happier when the job search successfully employs me in the job I prefer (a top preference position). I'm applying for all sorts of positions, mentally I've ranked them according to my preference, top preference positions, moderate preference positions and low preference positions. October is also finding me looking hard at Grad schools. I found a website for a state scholarship program in my field that gave a list of approved schools. I've been searching the websites of the listed schools and creating a comparison chart in excel to decide on a school. I got halfway down the list and found a school that offers courses both on-line & on campus not far from me, a school far more prestigious than I thought I'd ever be able to attend, but to my surprise the program looks just about perfect for me....and so is the cost and location. My older daughter is looking to go back to school too.she has an associates in business...and wants to go into Occupational Therapy, which is only offered as a Master's Program...she's been looking for a BA/BS degree program in a related field to help prepare for the OT program....while searching this same school's web site we stumbled across one & she's very excited about it..it's in speech pathology/hearing & communication disorders...so we are going to the school for an information session this week. Maybe we'll both end up going to the same school. That will be fun. I also stumbled across 4 or 5 other financial aid/scholarship/grant/loan sources just in case the original scholarship program that I found runs out of money. It put tears in my eyes when I realized that I could actually go to this prestigious university until now I thought that something like this was beyond my reach.....that's the mindset that being raised in the inner city and going to public inner city grade school & HS put in my mind...so often I (we) were told "you can't" ....Well,guess what, Yes I can!! And, no I have not given up on my little business idea. I have done a lot of research on that too. I filled a 5 subject spiral bound notebook with my research so it's still on my mind......I think I was overcome by a wave of lack of self confidence.....but somehow things will work themselves out.....all in (god) good time. ..I left in my misspelling, maybe the universe was speaking to me with that....it's like they said in the Children's sermon at church this morning if you take God out of the word Good then you end up with 0. We also carved pumpkins today...a great day of family fun. Took some pictures too , for the scrapbook. sallypz(MoxieMe)

[Lynx]

Hey Steps, I have found myself needing to snake my way through some difficult communication issues of late. I was misunderstood/interpreted at work by my boss of all people and just ultimately backed down without agreeing with her. A delicate skill I've come to use more often than I care to remember. Basically, I'll do what you ask without agreeing that's its the right thing to do. Then today after a lovely day, my partner couldn't find a box of her writing she'd stored somewhere in our office and by her tone and body language (never, heavens forbid, her words) accuses me of somehow disposing of it. I'm innocent. What I suspect happened is she got into a work mood one day and refiled the lot. So I just sit it out. I've made a challenge to myself: Can I keep creating inner assurance and happiness despite what people erroneously throw my way? Stay tuned. Lynx