I'm desperate, maybe there is no right career for me?

[vera3339]

I'm reading Barbara's book " I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was" and I think it's a great book with a very unconventional approach!

But.


There is a chapter in the book for students or those who recently graduated (I'm not ready to be born yet) and I like the idea that at the age of 20+ with no or very little work experience one shouldn't try to find a dream job, but just try to get a hands on experience in whatever seems interesting and fun, just to see what the corporate world is really like... well at least this is what I got out of the chapter.

And for some time this approach helped me to be less anxious about the whole "dream job" thing. I was planning to get some experience in special events planning (this is the last thing on my list of things that could suit me, all the others i already excluded after I learned more about them...) But I didn't manage to volunteer on any event because I was busy with my studies and probably unconsciously I didn't want to exclude one more possibility of finding my dream job...

I tried to learn more about events planning and I borrowed some books from the library...and oh boy these books are soo managerial... Like i wish i could enjoy this business language/diagrams etc, but it's just not me...I hate dealing with numbers/finances and budgeting and considering my skills i'm probably the last person who should do that...

So now again I have this anxiety and i have no idea what to do..of course I can still go and volunteer for some festivals, but I doubt that this is the best possible career for me.


Before considering events management I wanted to be an actress/singer/performer because this is what I did for about 8 years at school , I was good at it and i loved it. But then I took an acting course and I realized that despite the joy and satisfaction that i get when I'm on stage I'm not in love with theatre/film much enough in order to devote my life to it, and the typical lifestyle of an actor is definitely not something that I want for myself.

Then I did music production diploma as I've always loved music and cinema, so I thought that writing film scores could be just the right thing for me. But at the college I saw the realities of the working process, nowadays it's almost entirely desk-based job and involves working for hours by yourself, no interaction with people...at least not enough for me.

So now I have a much better idea of what I want my job to look like (creative as working on something creative, related to arts and culture, team work, contributing to people's emotions, flexible and with potential of earning good/very good money), but I have no idea what it is that I want to do...

And ideally I'd like it be intellectually stimulating, something diverse where i'd have to constantly learn new things.

So now I'm pretty much at the same point as before reading the book and I don't know what to do about it, maybe I just shouldn't bother with finding my dream job or with making conscious career choice and just go and work in some stylishly designed office. (i.e. commit myself to a long and painful death, or in my case to a rather rapid death..I've worked in an office environment in a tv production company and i was literally feeling my brain dying...)


Hope someone who has been in a similar situation can help me...

P.S. Barbara says that everyone has a dream, but what to do when you've tried doing what you thought was your dream, realized you don't really want it and is left empty with no dreams...

[skannie]

Hi vera

Short answer: Yes, go and volunteer for some festivals!

Longer answer:

Barbara is right. You need to get your brain out of this rut of trying to find the "best possible career for me" or your dream job or the thing you can devote your whole life to. Most people don't have careers like that nowadays. And maybe that doesn't suit your type of personality anyway.

You also need to think more creatively about work options. You don't have to do anything the obvious or conventional way.

For example, in events planning I'm sure there are people who just do the boring businessy parts (they probably don't think it's boring), but there must be many other roles. There must also be a need for people who are good at communicating with all the staff and participants, or visiting venues and deciding which to use and how to set them up, or social networking to promote the event, or choosing and booking performers or speakers, or arranging the catering, or designing and building any physical structures e.g. stages or marquees or booths, or setting up sound systems, or supervising safety and security measures, or .... well I'm sure there are lots more possibilities. If you go to a few events with your eyes and ears open you'll discover them.

And there are many ways of doing acting or performing without having "the typical lifestyle of an actor"

You can find or invent ways of producing music that aren't desk-based and solitary. How about DJing, or community music, or managing and conducting a choir, or running a small recording studio, or any kind of musical improvisation in a group?

And ideally I'd like it be intellectually stimulating, something diverse where i'd have to constantly learn new things.

Did you read the chapter in the book about Scanners i.e. people with many interests? Did it ring any bells? This sentence makes me think you could be a Scanner, and you might find Barbara's book for Scanners, Refuse to Choose, very helpful.

No you don't just have the choice of EITHER finding your perfect dream career OR doing the office job from hell until you die of boredom. There are many more possibilities.

... what to do when you've tried doing what you thought was your dream, realized you don't really want it and is left empty with no dreams...

You go exploring and trying out all sorts of other things. If you find something you really like, you explore it a bit more. Maybe it will turn into your dream career, or a good enough job to pay the bills while you follow your other interests, or maybe it will be fun for a while until you decide to do something different.

Yes, go and volunteer for some festivals!

[vera3339]

Thank you for you answer!

I know i'm not a scanner, cuz i'm pretty much interested in a small number of very similar things and I was like this all my life. Plus my twin is a scanner (she read Refuse to choose), so in comparison to her I'm def not a scanner))

Also there is one more thing...it's gonna sound stupid, but anyway =) I'm used to pretty good lifestyle and in my family it is important to earn good money (I think even if I grew up in a different environment I'd like to travel, go to different concerts and shows, live in a nice house, etc). So one more obstacle for me is a notion that in creative industries it is very difficult to earn decent money (well maybe only if you're in top ten in the industry). I know many talented artists, musicians, etc who are in their 30s-40s and they still have to do some other jobs, unrelated to music or art. And they worked for 2 or 3 decades to get there... I mean I know it's silly to look at them and judge about the industry as a whole, but generally speaking creative industries are not famous for best salaries or good working conditions...

Yes, yes, I know that I can create my own schedule and if i really want it I can earn any money I want in any industry, but I can't just try out things and not move on with my career...i want to stick to something and work on my skills in that area, I just feel stuck and like every time when I feel i found the right thing, it's only a temporary feeling.. I can't let go of my need to belong somewhere, to know where i'm going...

But thank you for your advice!

[SquarePeg]

--snip--

You can find or invent ways of producing music that aren't desk-based and solitary. How about DJing, or community music, or managing and conducting a choir, or running a small recording studio, or any kind of musical improvisation in a group?

...or music therapy

[SquarePeg]

It was the money / creativity tradeoff that funneled me into engineering. The field is definitely not for everyone, but it's good if you have "The knack." I was heavily into music while in high school, and into visual arts before that, and into writing all throughout.

[vera3339]

Well actually it's funny but taking music production course helped me to realize that i'm not a product person, i.e. i'm not a creator (not a painter or a composer), I see myself as rather someone who brings it all together, i just like working on creative projects with like-minded enthusiastic people for some big and inspiring goal! And considering all my natural talents in communication, imagination, creative thinking etc I feel that I have a good chance in combining my interests and talents, being who I am and doing something I truly enjoy...Maybe it's hard for me to decide on the specific field because I love different arts, but i don't love any of them much enough to specialize in it..


Anyway, i'm trying to convince myself to just try something that seems like fun...maybe join some relevant uni societies, because it's the easiest and fastest way, therefore there is a higher chance i will actually do it.

These las few days I was actually very depressed because of all this career thing, i realized why it's becoming so urgent for me: I want to have some purpose in life, some goal, something that will motivate me to wake up every morning, something to keep my mind busy, I just don't have anything that's really important for me in my life..well apart from my family of course, but it's different. I want it all to have a meaning, I don't want to just wake up, eat, go to lecture, come home, eat and go to sleep. I think it's a pretty natural desire despite one's age.

[Elaine Glimme]

Some of us know exactly what we want to do when we're twelve years old. Most of us don't. So don't worry if you don't know exactly where you're going. Consider this. The world, and especially technology is changing faster and faster. Ten years from now, there will be career opportunities that don't exist now.
From your posts, it sounds like you enjoy working with people. So choose a job where you spend most of the day interacting with people.

You wrote about events planning and that you didn't like the business end of it. You only have to deal with that if you own the business. And you're probably better off starting out working for someone else so you don't have to make all the mistakes he/she has already made. And working for someone else, you would be spending most of your time planning the events.

Good wishes!

[vera3339]

Thank you for your advice! I know I need to let go of this quest for the perfect job, I guess it just takes time))

[tui]

Just for fun: see if this offers any insights

https://www.mygeniustest.com/connect-with-us/
and maybe this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6yzI3xnq9k

One of the profiles to check out would be Supporter. There's a YouTube clip that covers it.

(I don't know Roger Hamilton. I've not done the test/s. I find it an interesting insight - another way to look at ways that I might be. You may, or may not, find that to be so, too.)

So far, you've been learning about the environments and languages of a particular set of creative people. You don't want to do what they do, yet you still like it. You understand the comfortable side, too. You also 'speak that language'. Could you smooth the way for artistic people, at all? Could you team up with a more administrative person to provide an innovative service?

Have you checked out your Holland profile? There are free online tests you can take which might get your creative juices running again.

[SquarePeg]

-snip- i'm not a product person -snip-

No, I'm not either. I'm a process person. It's the technique of how things are made that interests me. I like learning how things are made, but then I like fine-tuning the process, making it faster, more precise, more efficient and even fun. I do stuff just to do it, not for the end result. And, amazingly, there are great careers for folks like me, too.

[vera3339]

-snip- i'm not a product person -snip-

No, I'm not either. I'm a process person. It's the technique of how things are made that interests me. I like learning how things are made, but then I like fine-tuning the process, making it faster, more precise, more efficient and even fun. I do stuff just to do it, not for the end result. And, amazingly, there are great careers for folks like me, too.

Yeah, a process person sounds like me!) but at the same time i care a lot about the end result, i need it to inspire me, otherwise i will give up halfway. Thanks a lot! I definitely feel more comfortable now with trying things out, even though it feels uncertain and sometimes i think well even if i'll love it, the lifestyle is very intense and i don't want to sacrifice my main priorities and values, blah, blah, blah. But this kind of thinking led me nowhere so far , so i'm willing to try more practical approach.

[Knight]

Vera, is this thread of interest to you:

viewtopic.php?f=16&t=6327

[sheilabsergent]

Hi Vera - To have a perfect job might be putting a lot of pressure for one job to have everything we want. Maybe its possible to have a job and slowly make it fit us. Also there are hobbies and volunteer work that might fill-in where the job is lacking. I think the most important thing is to make sure the job has good bones meaning it doesn't violate any of your non-negotiables. Hope this helps with a starting place - Sheila

[Elaine Glimme]

Would you be interested in doing some of the things you mentioned in local community theaters or similar venues, where you wouldn't get paid? Then find a job that's interesting enough to keep you happy, and pour your creative talent into something that you're doing on your own time.

[Asiana83]

Dear Vera3339,

I listened to a Ted talk recently about how much we hold ourselves back in life waiting to find our calling or our "passion". So much of finding your niche in life is just experience, being yourself, and random chance. The link to this TED talk is https://youtu.be/6MBaFL7sCb8. I wish I had heard this when I was younger because there are many things I didn't do because I felt afraid of making big decisions that might narrow my options or take my energy away from my "calling". I hope you have a good time while sorting it out!

Best of Luck!