I am about to set up my third small-business undertaking and I need a support network.
Acknowledging that that I need support, the idea of asking for something like that, in fact arranging it, already signifies a revolution in my life.
But why do I need the support and why can't I find it? <-- the obstacle
Read on.
I am in a kinda crazy country, which shall remain unnamed (and which I can't leave b/c of a personal decision), but which has a vastly different culture than any other country I know. (Yes, I have lived in a few.) After ten years here, I still don't know anyone locally, other than a few people by name. The latter does not mean that they will acknowledge my presence when I say “hi” or “hello” to them when I pass them in the street or in the mall even if I have chatted with them in other situations.
That is just the way things are here, though I still haven't gotten used to it. So, I do not have the support that I need right here where I am. There is more, however. Read on. I have friends in other countries, but I need a different kind of support in order to make this business undertaking a success. I don't want to crowd my ”old” friends with my whining, but I also sometimes need practical input (solutions), which my “old” friends do not have for me..
Without the emotional support base around me, I sometimes whine (and even explode if I bottle things up too long) on, particularly, Twitter. Of course it is a dumb thing to do, and it is bad for any kind of business. But I do need to blow off steam from time to time when shitty stuff happens when I can't even tell anyone what happened. Think of me walking down the street, some stranger greeting me from a window above and then emptying a bucket of water over my head or someone throwing a raw egg at me from a passing car – all just for fun – or someone managing to turn off my water supply, leaving me without water for 24 hours, also just for fun. (I told you that I am in kinda crazy country.
This kind of thing is actually quite normal here, so I shouldn't even talk about it locally, even if I could, as me talking about it locally would likely just antagonize people – or, 
, encourage them.) I can often shrug it off, but not always, and the stuff does sometimes make me feel very lonely.A great deal of the bullying is personal (because I am different in many ways, and I have learned to see that), but a lot of it is not even personal. It is just the way things are here. The bullying has often practical consequences for me and it occasionally affects my self-employment big time as well. I accept that it happens and that I cannot stop it (but that does not mean that I always like it).
I also get trolled online, in various ways. That too is just the way things are; it does not really matter what I do or do not do (though the fact that I am a woman does matter). I need to find a way of limiting it and/or dealing with it much better than I have done so far. I know that I should just ignore trolls, but it is not always easy, and some trolls are not instantly identifiable as trolls. That is also where a support network may make a difference. (Ideally, I will soon be so busy that I won't have time for trolls, but at the start, I will have to focus on my online presence too.)
My real given name happens to be unique in the world. I was going to use it for the third business (for the first time in my life), but its uniqueness means that it is very easy for trolls to target me online. So, instead, I will use a (new) abbreviation of my first name which makes my name combination less rare; it suits me well. In addition, I will use a business name. Presenting myself online with a business name will deter some of the trolls, and I think it will also help stop me from venting online. I picked a business name that signals strength, particularly also to me. It automatically makes me raise my head and straighten my back confidently, which is perfectly in sync with what I want to do, and I love this effect.
I had some other practical challenges to cover, also related to the pranking/bullying, but have meanwhile found solutions for those.
So, I just set up a fake Facebook profile in the hope of collecting enough new “friends” for mutual inspiration and support. I am not so sure it will work. Why would some stranger, say, with a small business want to connect with my fake profile and hear about my eggs and water and trolls and business challenges? Still, I won't know whether it might work unless I give it a shot. Three new friends might be all it takes!
I think that I eventually would like to have a Skype schedule/network because voice contact is a thousand times better than sending characters to someone out there who could be anyone. Years ago, I set up a Skype schedule with a contact in another country when we were both trying to achieve something. We knew each other in real life and the other person was now venturing out on her own too, setting up a small business. In spite of the fact that the other person literally started each conversation with the words “I haven't really done any of the things I said I was gonna do”, which eventually made her back out, I found that having weekly Skype talks with a practically oriented person worked wonders for me.
So, suggestions are welcome! I am sure there are some things that I haven't thought of yet.
(I can also foresee some questions, but this post is already prettttttty long as it is.
)Kim
PS
My first self-employment of many years (which started in another country) collapsed some time ago; I still have a trickle of income from it. (It was always mostly from other countries, none local.) My brief attempt at a second business very quickly revealed itself as an entertaining way to spend time and money, but nothing more. It did bring me a wonderfully driven and very inspiring (that is mutual!) friend in another country who is also her own boss.
So, the start for my support network is in place!
